Series/season 2, episode 4 of Sugar Rush has one of my favorite scenes that I would love to see played out differently if I had my way. This series of three ficlets is based on the last scene of that episode which I feel is wrought with so many opportunities for the girls to reveal some honest truths about how they feel about each other, but don't. So this my opportunity to write about what "woulda/coulda" happened if…
Summary: What if Sugar answered Kim's pertinent question differently.
Kim pauses apprehensively, her eyes wistfully long for the answer she wants to hear, but is so afraid to hear the truth, "I mean…you don't want me or anything? Do you?"
"Don't be stupid," Sugar bites into every word.
"Then why can't -"
"I'm not sure!" Sugar says as she nervously averts her eyes away from Kim's widened pair. "It's all fucked up. I'm all fucked up about this…about what happened in London -"
"Ya! My heart and your sordid experiment," Kim says as she throws her coat at Sugar.
"It was more, Kiz," Sugar blurts. She contemplates whether or not to continue, surprised at her own blunt admission. Staring in another direction, not daring to look into Kim's piercing green eyes, Sugar says, "It was the first time that I ever felt…something …with anyone. I'm usually too twatted to remember who I'm fucking, who's fucking me. But with you, it was...different. It was...the first time I always dreamed of."
Sugar's soulful brown eyes and unusually coy smile topple Kim's defenses. Kim sits on the bed and folds Sugar's warm hand into her own as she says, "It doesn't have to be the last time, Shugs."
"I don't know. I can't," Sugar shakes her head and pulls her hand away. "I suppose at some point you'll want me to start declaring myself a muff-diver, no doubt?
"Unbelievable," Kim says sarcastically, throwing her hands in the air. "Since when have you ever cared about -"
"Well I'm not doing it," Sugar snaps. "My life is shit as it is. I've got no one. My mother's fucked off, I've no home. I barely got you."
Kim asks her question again, "Do you want me?"
This time, Kim does not wait for an answer. She does not need one. She strokes the side of Sugar's face and brushes a thumb across Sugar's full lips. Kim draws Sugar in closer, kissing her deeply which Sugar accepts with equal passion. Their eyes water as they embrace, their kiss suffused with a longing to make up for lost time.
Sugar reluctantly stops to ask, "What about S –"
Kim places a quieting finger on Sugar's lips and says, "For now…only you."
They kiss, leaning, falling into the new, un-christened double bed beneath them. Sinking further, deeper into the love they unwillingly had to put on hold.