Random idea. Bored to death. Nothing to do. Hence, fic.

I claim no ownage. I may not continue if nobody likes it…

#1 – Choose Your Target

Yes – this is the most important part of this entire guide. Follow the opening few chapters to the letter, dear readers. This guide will teach you the secret ways of woman – how to charm them, enchant, and baffle them. If you don't read this and decide to let fate play her hand, I assure you that you will NOT get the girl. I'm sure the Giant Squid is always open for a date.

First of all, you have to follow this: Are you doing this for fun? Or do you really want her?

If you're doing it for fun, then I suggest you pick someone less-than pretty. Trust me, it can always come as quite a shock when you add an ugly girl, a famous hair and makeup stylist, sixty-three Galleons, and a little bit of your time. Merlin, it's fun.

If you're serious, then I suppose that this girl is already really pretty. To you, I mean. Okay, so I've never been serious, but I've tried to be, so I'm perfectly qualified to write this Guide.

Don't you dare think otherwise.

"So who?" I asked, my famous smirk on my face.

"Hm?" grunted Blaise, looking up from his eggs and toast.

"You told me yesterday that there was no way I could get any girl in the school to fall in love with me, so I'm asking you who. You choose, I'll deliver."

"You're such a perv, Draco." He sighed.

"Yeah, I suppose I am."


"Yes, just as long as it's not-"

"Granger," he cut me off, grinning. "I choose Granger."

I gulped. "I was about to say not her," I growled from behind my clenched teeth.

"Beat you to the punch, didn't I?" he asked, trying not to laugh. "You have until Christmas. If you can get her to fall for you before then, I'll give you ten Galleons and that silly book you're writing-"

"You stole it?" I asked, outraged. "I've been looking everywhere for that! Blaise, the men of Hogwarts need my womanizing wisdom! And you want me to go after Granger? Of all witches in this school, Granger?"

Blaise leaned back in his seat and shrugged. "You can finish that Guide of yours after you get your Galleons. Or are you not man enough to do it?"

I frowned. "Fine," I said bitterly, "But if I can get her to fall in love with me before Christmas, you have to do a strip dance in front of McGonagall to Baby Configroed a Hole through My Heart by the Weird Sisters."

He grinned again and held out his hand. As I shook it, he said, "We have a deal, Dragon."

"…Shut up, campfire."

Super short. Sorry! Please review if you liked it.

*bows* Panneler-san