Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon.
Summary: It was all Davis's fault for starting it and Tai and Matt's for not letting it drop. In which the Digidestined embark on a discussion on what kinds of unique super powers they would each have, because why should Digimon get all the fun? Season 01 & 02.
A/N: I'm aware that most Digimon fanfiction seems to have evolved into using the original Japanese names for the characters, however, having grown up with the English version, I'm rather fond of the dubbed names and will be using them here. Hopefully, it's still clear on who's who. This fic is based on around Ep.38 A Very Digi Christmas.
It was Davis who started the mess unsurprisingly.
It was evening and the younger Digidestined had just finished giving their present of the older generation's Digimon to them. Leaving them to enjoy Matt's concert, they had gone over to the Ichijouji residence for Ken's Christmas party. In defense, Davis had merely been trying relieve his friend of some of the nervous tension he appeared to be suffering from going out of his comfort zone and inviting people to his house and to ease the awkward situation of everyone trying to make casual conversation, pointedly staying as far away as possible from the subject of the picture of Ken's brother that Yolei had ignorantly asked about only moments before.
It had been his idea to play cards. He really had no control over what everyone else talked about while waiting for a person's turn.
Except for the fact that it had been him who had brought up the whole discussion.
In hind sight, Davis would blame it all on Yolei because "if she hadn't been so darn slow at learning at how to play Go Fish, I would never touched the subject!"
Anyway, after explaining for the third time to her the rules and also when to appropriately say the phrase "Go Fish", Davis grew tired of hearing the girl moan in frustration until her face had turned a color almost as purple as her hair, and spontaneously launched into the what was now referred to as the Disastrous Conversation.
"So, you know the other day, me and my soccer buddies were talking about our favorite manga and how cool it is that the main characters get to have these awesome super powers to save the world and defeat the bad guys and it got me thinking on what kind of powers we would have if we were all super heroes!" Davis shared enthusiastically in one large breath.
"But Davish, I thought we were super heroes!" DemiVeemon managed to say through the contents of a Twinkie stuffed in his mouth, looking worried.
"Heh, of course you Digimon are super heroes. I'm talking about us humans!" Davis stated. "What if we had special attacks like you guys—wouldn't that be amazing?!"
"No, it would be illogical," Cody said frowning. "If we all had super powers, there would be no need for our Digimon and we could fight the enemy ourselves."
"Yeah," T.K. agreed. "Besides, I always thought we were super heroes in a sense that we help our Digimon digivolve. If they didn't have us, they wouldn't be strong enough to protect this world and the digital world. It's kind of a package deal."
"Geez, you guys, I'm just hypothetically speaking here!" Davis cried annoyed. "It's just fun to think about it. Like take Yolei for example. I figured, if she had some kind of super ability, we'd be unstoppable. She could make the enemy go deaf with her big, loud mouth and fling barbed insults until she knocked them over!"
"WHAT WAS THAT, PORCUPINE HEAD?!" Yolei shrieked, slamming down her hand of cards on the table and giving everyone a clear view that she definitely possessed no sixes.
"See? You're already a natural at it!"
"Oh yeah, well what would your super power be?!" Yolei yelled in a suppressed rage, her eyes narrowing to slits behind her glasses. "Sticking holes into the adversary with that pincushion hair of yours? Oh no, let me guess, bow down and be awed at the incredible might of the goggles, right?"
"Do not diss the goggles!!!"
"Come on, guys, let's not fight. You're going to ruin Ken's party," Kari admonished.
Yolei and Davis stopped bickering immediately, both looking quite repentant. Ken couldn't help the corners of his mouth turning upwards in a small smile as he spoke up hesitantly.
"No, I think it's an interesting idea. I never thought about kind of super powers I would have if it were possible," he wondered out loud.
"Oh, that's easy!" Yolei exclaimed, her face breaking out into a rosy hue. "Ken would captivate the enemy and put them under mind-control with one glance at his clueless yet adorable puppy-face expression!"
"Uh…" Ken said, nothing coherent coming to his mind or mouth. His face felt like it was on fire and he was gripping his cards so tightly, the back of his knuckles had gone white. He wondered if it was entirely possible to feel both pleased and mortified at the same time and suddenly wished they had all stayed at Matt's concert instead of coming to his house…where he couldn't escape from them.
"Yes, that look—right there!" Yolei shouted, pointing triumphantly at it. "It's so cuuuuuuute! Who would be able to resist that?!"
Ken decided she had been joking when everyone broke into peals of laughter and was relieved when it became apparent that it was someone else's turn to wonder about their hypothetical super powers and be the focus of attention.
"A special ability…" Cody mused out loud.
"You could always sneak up on your opponents and whack their heads in with your kendo stick," Davis suggested when Cody seemed to draw a blank.
"A kendo stick is not used for whacking heads in!" Cody yelled, shooting him a poisonous glare, before continuing stiffly. "At least not in sneak attacks. It is an honorable sport."
"Well, I suppose you could shoot death rays from your eyes—you're almost as good as Yolei at that. Maybe you could be her side-kick."
Kari chose to intercede when it appeared that Davis was about to suffer a swift and most painful demise at the hands of two of his so-called friends.
"When I was little, I always wished I would be chosen as the Pink Power Ranger and save Tokyo. I guess being the Digidestined of Light is almost as good," she laughed.
"I think your super power would be attracting the enemy to you like magnet," Davis said, taking on a dreamy expression. "You could be the bait to draw them in close, and then we'd all jump them in an ambush! They'd never see it coming—they'd be too infatuated with the beautiful wonder that is Kari!"
"Gee, Davis, you sure know the way to a woman's heart," Kari said, sarcasm laced throughout her voice. "It's every girl's dream to be set up as bait."
"What about you, T.K.?" Patamon piped up. "What kind of powers would you have?"
"Hmm," T.K. said, mulling over several possibilities.
"Che," Davis scoffed, leaning back on his hands. "How about putting that lame hat of yours to some good use for once like forcing every foe to wear it?"
"Davis—" Kari said warningly.
"No, I'm serious! Five seconds with that thing on their heads and they should all come down with an extreme case of Uncool-itis and be too embarrassed to even show their faces!"
"Speaking of faces, guess whose I'm going to rearrange," T.K. growled.
"You just try, T.F.! My goggles tops your stupid hat any day!"
Contrary to what the others thought, Ken wasn't at all saddened to receive the news that his party had to be cut short due to the fact that Matt's concert was being ransacked by rampaging monsters and the older kids needed their assistance in getting rid of them and a Control Spire. Strong, Ultimate-level Digimon… possibility of engaging in battle: one hundred percent; possibility of spontaneously sprouting super powers: less than two percent. Remaining where they were and continue the conversation of hypothetical super powers: possibility of slowly slipping into the brink of insanity… about eighty-six point four percent. He'd take the rampaging Digimon any day.
Long story short: they raced to the concert and returned the unleashed Digimon back to the Digital world and soon were off on a journey around the world to take down the numerous Control Spires that had popped up most suspiciously. The discussion about hypothetical super powers safely faded from the limelight and memory of everyone and that would have been the end of it… until one day, after the Digidestined had all arrived back home safely, Tai asked Kari if she had enjoyed Ken's party before they had been called in to save the day again.
"Well, it was going alright," she admitted truthfully. "Until Davis started talking about what it would be like if we humans had super powers."
"Super powers?" Tai echoed, his eyebrows disappearing up into the bangs of his bushy hair.
"Hypothetically speaking," Kari said shrugging, and then filled her brother in on the special abilities everyone had been labeled with.
"I agree with Davis. Goggles would make a most fearsome attack-weapon," Tai said grinning widely.
"You would," Kari said rolling her eyes. "And here I thought your super power would be kicking a soccer ball into the enemy's face."
"That could work too," Tai said, looking like he was seriously considering the possibility.
"Just don't give into that temptation next battle that comes around," Kari teased before heading over to the school to meet up with the younger Digidestined, preparing to spend a long weekend in the Digital World.
And that would have been the end of it also… if Matt hadn't called Tai soon after and the subject had been dredged up again.
"Hypothetical super powers?" Matt repeated incredulously. "I shudder to think of how Davis's brain functions if he can randomly spew out things like that. And here I thought no one out there could possibly be more thick-headed than you."
"You're just jealous because you didn't think of the idea first," Tai sung jauntily.
"Let me guess: goggles or a soccer ball for you?"
"You know, for a blond, you're pretty smart, Matt," Tai said, flopping down on the couch. "Now let me have a go at yours… mmm, probably some special move that would freeze the foe dead in their tracks. Heh, maybe you could blind them with your can of hair spray or burst their eardrums with that electric guitar of yours. BlackTyrannomon certainly didn't seem to like it that night at the concert."
"As if, I'm no Etemon," Matt snorted.
"You could always throw your rabid fangirl mob at them," Tai sniggered. "They'd tear your enemy's throat out for even thinking of hurting their precious Matty. You ever considered taking over the world with them? You could make June your general."
Matt chuckled at the image before inquiring thoughtfully. "Say, just for the record, while we're on the subject, what kind of super power do you think Sora would have?"
"What? Are you so enamored with her that you can't see any special ability she could use?" Tai asked.
"No, I can think of a couple," Matt said evasively. "Just curious of your opinion on what it would be."
"Tch, I'd say mother-henning someone to death," Tai stated, grimacing. "You know, following the enemy about, ragging on them about the dangers of in-grown talons and the necessity of brushing one's teeth after a hard day's work of blasting fire or some other attack from their mouth. Then she might suggest anger-management classes to them, something like Finding Yourself By the Roaring Within."
He could hear Matt laughing heartily on the other end of line now.
"She means well, I know," Tai went on encouraged. "But it does get annoying after awhile. She's going to start on you the dangers of singing too much and damaging your vocal cords."
"Really?" Matt inquired, sounding very amused.
"She's right there with you, isn't she?" Tai deadpanned.
"Hello, Tai," Sora's voice called dryly over the phone line.
"What's that, Mom?" Tai yelled suddenly. "Oh, yes, I'd love to help you make spinach-prune smoothies!"
He could still hear Matt laughing as he hung up hurriedly.
And that should have ended the chain of the Disastrous Conversation… except for the fact that Tai couldn't just let the matter just drop and began discussing it with Izzy the moment he walked through the door of his apartment complex when he went over there the next day.
"Super powers? I thought only little kids thought up crazy stuff like that," Izzy said, looking up from his laptop.
"Hey, it's only hypothetically speaking and me and Matt had fun talking about it," Tai protested, helping himself to a can of soda from Izzy's fridge and seating himself across from Izzy at the kitchen table.
"I rest my case," Izzy said, typing something on his keyboard.
"Come on, you're telling me a computer geek like you never imagined he had some kind of special ability to fight evil with?" Tai asked in disbelief.
"Well, I always thought it would have been cool if I could somehow merge 2-dimensionally with the computer and surf through cyberspace… until Diaboromon showed up on the scene and took the fun out of that idea," Izzy stated sardonically, before furrowing his brow as he looked at his friend opposite him. "Then you and Matt had to hog all the glory of actually making that dream possible and I got left out cold turkey."
"Ahahaha, oh yeah, sorry about that," Tai said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, deciding it would be good for his health to change the subject quickly.
But still staying on the topic of super powers of course.
"So what do you think Joe's would be?" Tai wondered, leaning his chair back on its legs. "He used to be such a worry-wart that he could have bowled his foes over unconscious with his mind-projecting abilities of all the injuries one could sustain going into battle. But he seems to be completely stress-free lately, ever since coming back from our first adventure in the Digital World that I don't think that would work now."
"Uh, Tai," Izzy said tentatively.
"And don't get me started on Mimi," Tai declared, running over Izzy's interjection as if he hadn't heard it. "She's an anomaly unto herself—I'm not sure if she would lull her adversaries into submission with her singing or send them on a warpath. I suppose she could frighten them enough to surrender by threatening to dye them a hideous shade of pink from head to toe though. That's a fate worse than death if you ask me."
"Tai," Izzy said, looking like he wanted to dash into the nearest bomb shelter for cover.
"What?" Tai asked before doing a double take and noticing Izzy's hands shaking with trepidation an inch above the keyboard.
The keyboard… the laptop… the mini webcam fastened so innocuously to the top-right corner…
Izzy turned the computer around so it was facing him and Tai was greeted by the sight of two box videos: a humorless-looking Joe and an irate Mimi, their three-way chat with Izzy having been obviously interrupted by his arrival.
"It's people like you who are holding back the fashion world from advancing due to their bigotry and irrational fear of embracing pink in all its power!" Mimi shrieked, her face blossoming into a shade of color that matched her hair perfectly.
"Worry-wart?" Joe repeated, his glasses glinting ominously so that his eyes were not visible.
In a tiny corner of Tai's mind that wasn't paralyzed with shock, he thought that move would make a brilliant intimidation tactic against the enemy.
"You ever consider the possibility that maybe your hypothetical super power would be putting your foot in your mouth?" Izzy sighed.
Tai decided not to bring up the Disastrous Conversation ever again and was happy to allow it time to slowly erase from existence entirely. So really, he wasn't responsible for dragging a hazardous subject back from the grave… no, that was Matt's fault.
"You know those super powers we were discussing awhile back," the blond began out of the blue one day when he and Tai we walking home from school.
"NO!" Tai shouted, jumping a safe distance away and darting furtive glances left and right. "No, I refuse to take part in this conversation anymore!"
Matt stared at him as if he had gone mad. "What's your problem?" he asked.
"Sora's hiding somewhere nearby, right?" Tai said, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at his friend.
"Uh, no," Matt said, arching one fine-plucked eyebrow upwards.
"You have your cell phone on so she can hear what I say? You have people with cameras stashed on top of buildings filming me? Some kind of recording device in your pocket so you can press replay and have the following discussion haunt me for the rest of my life?" Tai accused flailing his arms wildly, looking very unhinged.
"No, I was just going to tell you my theory of what I thought Sora's super power would be, although maybe I shouldn't now since this topic appears to be setting you off your rocker," Matt said, eyeing him warily.
"Oh, well if it's just you going to share that's fine," Tai said looking relieved. "What do you think it'd be?"
Matt motioned with his finger for him to come closer and Tai complied willingly. Then speaking in a mere whisper, Matt proclaimed stoutly, "Her cooking."
"What, it's that good?" Tai questioned, blinking in surprise. "She'd send them all into a tryptophan-induced coma?"
"No, no, the opposite," Matt said, shaking his head. "She'd make them all sick to their stomachs! Personally, I think Sora should take cooking lessons from Mimi. Those homemade cookies she baked me for Christmas were scorched on the bottom and kind of dry."
"Really? Wow, she just gave me a batch she promised me the other day. Do you think it's safe to eat them?" Tai asked, looking very perturbed.
"Not unless you want a killer stomach-ache that lasts for hours," Matt cautioned. "I know she made them with love but that wasn't enough to save them. I feel sort of bad for Gabumon—he ate most of them, but he did his service in the line of duty. It was for a noble cause! Without him, I would have eaten the whole box and never have felt well enough to sing at my concert that night."
"So, I guess we can safely say that Sora would be the queen at defeating the adversary with her horrible cooking?" Tai pressed.
"Only if they're dumb enough to actually eat it," Matt emphasized.
"You're right… she'll have to use her food as projectile missiles!" Tai whooped and Matt doubled over laughing.
The two boys chortled and guffawed, reveling in their own cleverness for several seconds… before the clearing of someone's throat behind them made them freeze.
"You lying, double-crossing traitor, Matt," Tai bit out.
"She must have followed me—I swear I didn't know!" Matt protested, clutching Tai's arm in a terrified death-grip. "You look."
"No, you look," Tai said swallowing dryly, nudging Matt with his elbow.
"No, you look," Matt said fearfully, jabbing him in the side.
Tai took a deep breath to calm himself before saying, "On the count of three, we both look," and Matt nodded in agreement.
"One…" Tai counted, feeling his back crawl with the scorching glare aimed directly between his shoulder-blades. "Two… RUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!"
The boys bolted from the vicinity yelling like two bats out of hell, not daring a backwards glance, adrenalin pumping swiftly through their veins, giving them that extra boost needed to escape from a potentially life-threatening situation.
The two elderly women left behind stared after the trail of lingering dust, blinking in bafflement.
"Such strange boys," one woman said. "I only wanted to tell the one with the horridly bushy hair that there was a bee on the back of his shirt."
"What they were talking about anyway?" her friend asked.
The vicious cycle would never end.
And it was all thanks to Davis for starting it… and Tai and Matt for not letting it drop.
A/N: Ah, my very first Digimon fic, it's a nice feeling! I've wanted to write one since I was twelve! XD Well, it's not a complicated plot or an enthralling adventure like so many others I've read and imagined, but I like it. I always wanted to write the Digidestined interacting with each other and I hoped I've pulled off their personalities in this short humorous fluff piece well. Strangely enough, this idea came out of nowhere at midnight yesterday when I was taking a break from writing my CLAMP fics and had the strong urge to write for a different category. I bet you all can tell who my favorite characters are, hehe. (Hint: it's always the ones I torture the most).
I hope you all have enjoyed reading this and I would love to hear what your favorite lines or scenes were. Feel free to quote them—it makes my day! Remember, fanfic authors get paid in nothing but reviews so reward them well! Thank you!