Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. Sorry.
Author's Note: There were so many possibilities with the way the last episode ended, and I just had to write about it. I actually like Teddy so far, and I hope she doesn't leave, but at the same time I would really hate for her to actually try to accept Cristina's 'offer'. I don't like Cristina and Owen together, but really, does she think she can just give him away? Anyways, on to the story.... I hope you enjoy, and please review. (:
What They Used to Be.
"I want Owen."
She hadn't meant to say it; if Cristina hadn't been pushing so hard, asking over and over and over, and absolutely begging her, she never would have said anything at all. She was completely content with leaving, with moving on, with letting go. She knew she was too late. She had known for a while. He had Cristina, and that was all he wanted.
She had come to terms with it. She had accepted it. That didn't mean she had to like it. That didn't mean she couldn't be the least bit bitter, or the least bit passive agressive, or the least bit angry.
"You can have him!"
Teddy felt her jaw drop slightly as her lips parted. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she suddenly felt like a deer in the headlights. Did Cristina really say what she thought she said? She adjusted the strap on her shoulder because she had to do something, and then just stared at the pathetic doctor in front of her.
Cristina hadn't meant to say it. They both knew that much without saying a word. She was just trying to get Teddy to stay, and she was using everything she could to ensure that. It was her last attempt. It was thoughtless, spur of the moment.
But Teddy had learned that the thoughtless, spur of the moment, all or nothing statements held the most truth.
Cristina seemed to be just as frozen as she was and she couldn't tell if the expression on Cristina's face was terror at what she was willing to do, or hope that Teddy might stay, or surprise that she had actually said it, or a mixture of all three. Teddy wasn't too sure that she wanted to know.
She had only been in Seattle for a few months, but Teddy knew that Cristina needed control. That need was why she liked the OR, and cardio, and the feel of a scalpel in her hand. It was why she freaked when the patient started to crash. It was why she sent Owen out. It was why she was going to such lengths to get Teddy to stay.
Teddy was the opposite; years in the army had taught her that she could control very little in her life, and she was okay with that.
And that was why she knew that even if Cristina was willing to give him up, there was no way she would ever be able to control Owen's feelings. She couldn't make him feel the way she wanted him to.
"I..." Cristina started, but she didn't bother to finish. There was nothing left to say. There was no way - no reason - to take it back, because they both know that she would say it all over again if given the chance.
Teddy knew cardio meant the world to Cristina. Nothing was more important. She wanted the chance to learn, the chance to become great. Teddy used to be like her. She knew the way Yang thought. She wanted to get where she wanted to go. It didn't matter to her how she got there. she would step over people, she would push others out of the way, she would undermine them. No risk was too much as long as it got her the attention she wanted, the attention she thought she deserved. Teddy understood why Cristina would go as far as begging. The rest of it she didn't quite understand.
People had begged at her feet before. As a doctor, people had begged her for their lives. As a soldier, people had begged her for protection and safety and the sparing of their lives. As a person, people had begged her for forgiveness. All had been selfish; they wanted what they wanted for their own good and she had never been offered anything in return.
It was a completely different feeling. Her hand tightened on the strap of her bag. She had just been offered a man in exchange for her knowledge. She didn't like it.
Everything she wanted was right in front of her, ready for her to take, waiting for her. Cristina had practically served it to her on a silver platter. But looking at Cristina's desperate face and into her wild, pleading eyes, Teddy decided she didn't want it anymore. She didn't want Owen anymore.
"Goodbye, Yang," Teddy said firmly, tightening her grip on the bag's strap as she walked to her car.
Because Yang thought she could - no, needed to - control him and from what Teddy had seen, Owen didn't mind. Because he was head-over-heels in love with her and from what Teddy had seen, that wasn't going to be changing anytime soon, and it certainly would not be because of her.
Because he wasn't the man he was in Iraq all those months ago, and that was the man Teddy had fallen so deep in love with. She loved Owen Hunt, soldier and doctor.
But then he became Owen Hunt, civilian, just like she became Teddy Altman, civilian, and just like their titles and positions changed, they changed.
They were no longer what they used to be.
And that was all Teddy wanted.