HEY DUDES. Sheesh, been into TTGL since the first season was still airing, and into this corner of fandom for, uh, not very long (ya might've seen me wandering around in the forums), but I just can't seem to get around to postin' stuff in this site. (Still got a lot of Earthbound and Fire Emblem things to get to.)
AH WELL, here's my introductory... thing: a quick drabble set in the AU world the AntiSpiral throws Simon in. Yanno, where he and Kamina are more into robbery than world-saving. 'Cos someone - I can't remember who at all - watched the episode with me and got the impression they were a ton more likely to have a screwed-up relationship there. Well, this is me messin' a little with that.
Here's hopin' I'll get along with the lot of you, also!
Che Cosa é Amor
Back to square one: Simon has a bad feeling about whatever Kamina has in mind this time. Of course, he knows how it works, he knows that in about two hundred seconds Kamina will find a way to convince him that it'll be totally easy, that it'll just be a few minutes from the moment he starts digging to when they're crawling back through the same tunnel, dragging bags of golden, precious, beautiful riches behind them.
Of course, Kamina will have some sort of plan; how the security works, what to take and what to leave there, where to go afterward; the works. And of course that'll do little to put Simon to ease, what with how much scarier the beastmen look everyday, but then Kamina will tell him how much he needs his help and Simon will undoubtedly crumble.
He sighs heavily. He's really got a bad feeling about this "making it big" plan nowadays, but what's there to do? If his brother says it's what they should be doing, then they definitely should get to it.
"I have a bad feeling about this."
Kamina gives him an incredulous look, setting his bags down. "Weren't ya ready a minute ago?"
"Y-Yeah, but…" He begins, but can't seem to find anything convincing to say; that's the first reason Kamina's the leader of the team, he supposes.
"It'll be done in a flash, Simon, really," Kamina says, shrugging. "I could walk right in and take everything, but…"
Simon knows what comes next but, as much as he likes hearing it every time, he knows that'll mean forgetting his point completely, and he can't have that at the moment, so he opts for something different. He closes the distance between him and Kamina running, and throws his arms around the older man's torso, his head barely reaching his chest. They're immobile for a moment, and Simon finds himself staring with some incredulity of his own at the upright and inverted hearts stamped on his brother's shirt, tempted to call it quits already.
It's nothing new or weird; Kamina picks him up or holds him pretty often, seemingly for no reason, but it's a tad more uncommon for Simon to approach him. He usually just follows his brother's orders and whims but, selfish as this is of him, he guesses he has nothing else to do if he wants a shot at persuading the man. It's not long before Kamina gives him a pat on the head, his cue to loosen up a little, and kneels to match his height.
"It'll be fine, it'll be fine…!" He grins with characteristic confidence, placing his hands on the boy's shoulders. "As long as we stick together, everything'll turn out fine."
There's something about that, he thinks, that sounds a different level of familiar. He's heard it his entire life, digging and running and hiding and making it big, but isn't there more? He feels he should be remembering something else, like why a sudden loneliness crawls upon him from within, but Kamina is here now and he supposes that's all he should mind. This is the only life he has.
"Simon? You okay? You're tearin' up..."
He blinks the blurs in his view away. "S-Sorry, it's... nothing," he says, and leans forward to place a quick kiss on his brother's cheek. "Thank you."
Kamina nods, suddenly quiet, demure; Simon's stayed close, and he hasn't failed to notice. There's something else he remembers as familiar: when he tilts his head just the slightest and their nearly baited breath mixes, Kamina stays perfectly still. He'll let Simon kiss him, he knows, because Simon certainly loves his brother, but there'll always be an incomprehensible remorse in his eyes and a much quieter sort of leadership about him, subjected only to Simon's immediate wishes.
The boy suspects he'll never quite understand. He thought stealing from beastmen was bad, at first, and Kamina showed him otherwise. Now it's Kamina who acts as though he's doing a bad thing, and Simon finds himself crossing lines he wishes he didn't have to, initiating something Kamina hasn't asked him to do – he wishes he knew whatever was so complex about kissing someone he loves. It's how people express the feeling, as far as he knows.
Still, no matter how close or how alone or how right, Kamina won't kiss him, and Simon begs with his lips, ghosted over the man's.
He doesn't search for Kamina's eyes, this time. He can't help but notice, though, that his hands remain on his shoulders. "C... Can I?"
"...if you want to."
He doesn't understand. He doesn't understand anything. But he knows that he has a bad feeling about the next robbery, that he needs Kamina to listen to him for a moment and that he really, really does love him. Somehow, he feels as though he misses him, but pushes the thought aside when their lips collide, eager.
Kamina leaves his stillness to kiss back with the same intensity, hands tighening on Simon's shoulders. The boy's lips move over his warmly, clumsy with the shift of his body as he presses it against Kamina's and parted with the sighs caused by the wandering hands on his sides – he knows they'll stop when he stops, so he tries his best to forget that particular inhibition.
He keeps it in mind almost too stubbornly; when Kamina's hands move back up and settle on his cheeks, his tongue pushing past his parted lips, he forgets a good number of worries and gut feelings. He's just begun to respond when Kamina pulls back and, by then, he lacks the drive to move, staring through half-lidded eyes at the grinning man.
Kamina rises to his feet, shouldering both their bags and giving him a last pat on the head. "Let's go."
He'd like to remember why he follows so easily and how things ended up like that, but he's already forgotten the point anyway.
He was wrong. He's glad, in a way, because if things continue to turn out in Kamina's favour they'll have nothing to worry about, but the traces of the feeling he had a couple of hours ago bother him.
"C'mon, don't be shy, take it!" Kamina says, offering him the emerald ring again; he has tankfully mistaken Simon's upset expression as a hesitant one. "You earned it, bro!"
Simon doesn't really know whether it's accepting something from his brother that makes him feel so off – he's found that he never feels deserving of a gift – or the fact that Kamina, the same Kamina that would never kiss him, is giving him a ring. It's a sign that he loves Simon in return, for sure, but isn't that skipping something? And what does it mean? A ring like that can't be just a gift, can it?
Kamina grins at him as he reaches for it – it's absolutely fine, he decides, smiling back. That's what should happen between people who love each other, after a fair amount of time that his lifetime should cover, and finding things to love that Kamina sometimes doesn't even— "Here!"
He blinks, coming out of his circular train of thought to find Kamina impatiently grabbing his wrist and sliding the ring unto his finger. Simon looks back and forth between the object and Kamina, flustered; that's really how it should be, isn't it? It's absolutely fine, isn't it?
It takes him several minutes to decide so and, by then, Kamina is sorting through their full bags of golden, precious, beautiful riches, his back turned to him. Simon's hands have fallen to his knees as he leaves his brother to his task, staring now, again, at the upright and inverted hearts on his shirt. He lets his view drop to his hands, to the emerald ring, and smiles broadly; love is really, really weird. He just won't understand.
Of course he can't possibly know that he was right after all, not yet. He can't know that the beastmen will come for him and his brother eventually, that Kamina will beg on his knees, that he'll look away, that it'll all be painful and useless and fake so, for now, all he can do is stare at the ring and think about what a weird thing love is.
-:- End -:-
Che cosa é amor: "love is quite something" or "what a [weird] thing love is" or so.
Well, there ya go. The whole thing's just me havin' a poke at this fandom, but heeeey, don't hesitate to tear me to shreds anyway. Any opinions are appreciated; I do plan to keep writing 'round here. See ya around!