A/N 1: Chapter spoilers for: 'Lady's Man' (Season 8). Squicky content warning; this is an outtake for a reason!



A/N 2: This is aconversation I wrote, but didn't include in the story because it didn't fit. Eames was afraid it was so 'earthy' that it would harsh Goren's buzz, and I was afraid it would do the same for my readers. Yeah, it's that bad. BUT 100% truthful and accurate for the industry. Read with caution (and scatological curiosity). The reason I am posting it rather than trashing it is because I was patting myself on the back for managing a really acerbic Mulrooney reference.


"Most of the guys I talk to are masochists, cross-dressers or both."

"Really? What kind of stuff do they want to talk about?"

"You don't want to know."

"No, I do, really."

"OK, just remember you asked. Don't blame me if it narcs your afterglow."


"OK then. The more conventional ones want me to force them to dress in my clothes, clean my house, and suck off my old boyfriends, then they want me to stuff a pair of my dirty undies in their mouths, pimp them out to truckers from the back of a van at a gas station, then take pictures of them and post them on the internet."

Goren couldn't help but laugh at the image, even while he squirmed in discomfort.

"You heard enough yet?"

"Nah, tell me about the weird ones."

"There are no weird men, just weird fantasies, Sweetie." Goren privately disagreed, but kept his opinion to himself.

"The more out there ones want me to do everything listed above, then sit on their faces and take a dump in their mouths."

"Aah, Christ, that is REALLY out there. I couldn't have ever even imagined it."

"So that's not you?"

"Definitely not."

"It would be OK if it was."

"No it wouldn't."


A/N 3: Thanks to all my readers for reading, reviewing, guessing, PMing, sticking with this fic to the end, and most notably (although I should probably also be thanking the people who didn't read), for heeding the content warnings! I don't mind flames, but I appreciate the fact that nobody complained about the content.