Hey guys, don't shoot me okay? I've come up with this story and I just couldn't wait to get it out there, if you know what I mean. I promise still to keep updating Gohan and Gonyhe and if I neglect it for any reason all my faithful readers have my permission to spam my inbox ^^. Anyway, I'm not really sure how this idea came about in my mind. I guess it was because I was watching a television show on therapy and I just thought, I wonder what would happen if the Z-Gang went to therapy then BHAM! It came to me. It doesn't take a lot to inspire me, usually I just leave the fics in my hard-drive until I can be bothered to publish them, but this time I just had to get them out.
Anyway, consider this the first chapter of Group Therapy.
It's more of a trial process, if enough people like it, I will most certainly post more chapters. Also, if anybody has any idea's they are more than welcome.
Right, this is your author signing off, now please remember to review once you finish reading. Now onto the chapter …..
Summary: Bulma is insane. Gohan has an explosive temper. Chichi is bi-polar. Goku has abandonment issues and Vegeta lives in a world of make-believe. Where does this land them? In therapy of course.
Loud noises, flashing lights and mass destruction where a common occurrence at Capsule Corp, heck they where a common occurrence wherever the destructive due where around. Trunks Briefs and Son Goten as they where known by some. Brat and Kakabrat by others. Some even went as far as to call them Satanic Saiyan Spawn. At least Trunks had an excuse as to why he was so downright demonic - it was in his genes! Goten … not so lucky.
It was six months since the monster known as Kid Buu had finally left the Earth after being defeated by a large Spirit Bomb by none other than the demonic children's fathers - Son Goku and Vegeta Briefs. Since then, peace had reigned abundant. Of course, Mr Satan had went onto claim the glory for himself much to the chagrin of Vegeta who nobly volunteered to blast the glory stealer a new asshole, courtesy of a Gallic Gun to the derrière. Nice.
Today would be considered one of those peaceful days, the type of days where you just kicked back, relaxed and enjoyed everything that was good about life. That would be the right thing to do if you where elsewhere, but not if you were currently visiting the Dome shaped house. If you where unfortunate enough to visit this place, you would have either turned back or if you really had a backbone, you would have entered but immediately scurried off for a hiding place in fear of becoming a certain Saiyan Princes' punch bag or the dummy for a series of pranks.
"TRUNKS BRIEFS COME BACK HERE WITH THOSE COOKIES THIS INSTANT!" The voice of a certain blue haired genius echoed around the Capsule Corp compound.
Trunks Briefs, however was anything, but he was not suicidal. So, balancing the tray with the precious cookies on one hand he picked up the pace, intent on putting as much distance as possible between himself and the banshee- err his mother.
As Trunks rounded the corner of one of the many, hallways of Capsule Corp, his lifelong friend soon joined him in his escape. When a familiar man popped into existence, causing the two youngest demi-Saiyans to go crashing into afore-mentioned mans legs. With a grunt of surprise, Trunks Briefs precious cargo of cookies went flying into the air as he was crushed to his fathers enemy's legs. His best friend, - who also happened to be the son of the man he just crashed into - crashing into his back a few seconds later.
Goku though, barely noticed it. Expertly he caught the tray of cookies in one hand and in a blur of motion, he caught the cookies on the tray. However, the difference between Trunks and Goku was that Trunks knew how hot the tray of cookies were, so he had put a barrier of ki around his hands to prevent scalding. Goku didn't notice till the last moment and by the time his hands where burning red, he released the tray with a yelp and hoped all around the small hall. Knocking whatever tables, chairs and even the occasional plant pot that happened to be in his way. The two children looked at the ruined cookies with teary eyes, trying to salvage the unsalvageable.
"Ohmanohmanohmanohmanohan!" The two chibi's repeated in unison as they abandoned all attempts at salvaging the ruined cookies and looked frantically for a place to hide. Unfortunately for the two demi-Saiyans, all usable - and semi-usable- hiding places had been destroyed on Goku's one man pain rampage.
In the end, Goten resorted to standing in the middle of the hall with both hands covering his eyes in attempts to hide, whilst Trunks flew up to the ceiling and flattened himself against it. Seeing Goten standing there, covering his eyes, Trunks slapped a hand to his face.
"Pssstt. Goten! Pssstt!" He hissed, trying to get his friends attention, but desperately trying not to give away his hiding place at the same time.
Goten however felt no need to choose another more suitable hiding place because, as far as he was concerned if he couldn't see Vegeta, then he couldn't see him, right?
As Goku nursed a scolded hand with a childish pout, the Prince of all Saiyans chose this point to make a dramatic entrance. Of course, being Vegeta he could not settle for simply opening a door. The royal had to blast the door clean off of its hinges, causing a huge explosion and the door to go flying down the hallway, knocking Trunks off of the ceiling and taking poor Goku along for the ride.
Trunks fell from the ceiling squawking and frantically flapping his arms. In his surprise he had forgotten he possessed the coveted ability to fly. The heir to the Briefs fortune landed straight on top of the unsuspecting Goten who was still sure that his 'I-can't-see-you-you-can't-see-me' plan was a very smart one. The two young Super Saiyans then collapsed to the ground in a tumble of limbs, images of flying doors and fallings trunks' running around their heads.
Goku somehow found himself plastered to the side of the wayward door which was travelling down the hallway of Capsule Corp. His back was pressed against the piece of wood and in front of him he could see the front door open to reveal his eldest son and his new girlfriend - Videl Satan.
Even from this distance, Goku could see his sons face scrunch up in confusion as he watched the missile which was his father approach him at increasing speeds.
"Gohan-watch-out-Vegeta's-had-another-temper-tantrum!" Goku managed to shout out, remarkably in the one breath.
"KAKAROT!" Came the furious scream of a certain Saiyan Prince and before Goku knew what was happening, a well placed energy blast had been thrown at the door causing it to explode into thousands of tiny pieces. This action only caused Goku to go sailing faster down the hall, remarkably missing the open front door and instead barrelling straight through the wall as if it were paper.
Gohan stood up to his full height after hunching over to protect Videl from the flying shards of wood. A light blush stained Videl's cheeks, whilst Gohan's were practically on fire.
"Vegeta!" Gohan seethed, marching up the hallway and standing a few feet away from the Prince who was chuckling at the action unfolding in front of him.
"You could have hurt Videl!"
"Hurt? Videl?" Seemingly from nowhere, Chichi appeared, trusty skillet in hand as she bashed it repeatedly over the Saiyan Prince's head.
"How dare you -BANG- ever even think of -CLASH- hurting my Gohan's -SMASH- future wife -CLATTER- and the mother of my future grandbabies! -CLANK-" It took the combined strength of both Gohan and Videl to pull Chichi back from her unfortunate victim who was now unconscious on the deck as images raced round his head.
Remarkably, Cell had nothing on the Son Matrons strength. If only they'd known that when captain cockroach was threatening the Earth, things might have been different.
Gohan panted, tightening his hold on his mothers mid-section as she struggled furiously against the hold of her super strong son. She clawed at his forearms, kicked at his legs and head butted his nose in her attempts to escape. Heck, Kid Buu might have even had trouble with Chichi.
"Gohan grab her arms!"
"Vi, I'm trying!" Gohan whined as he attempted to pin his mothers arms to her sides.
It was at that point that Bulma Briefs finally caught up to all the havoc. The bowl she was cradling to her chest slipped out of her hands and smashed onto the tiled floor, spilling its unnatural looking contents.
"WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED HERE?!" Bulma demanded, quivering in rage as she surveyed the damage that had happened in the space of five minutes.
Down at the bottom end of the hallway, next to the front entrance, a huge Goku-shaped hole had been created just to the right of the front door and the perpetrator of the crime was hanging half through the hole. He looked up and met Bulma's glare sheepishly as it landed on him, trying unsuccessfully to brush the bits of door out of his spiky locks.
Unfortunately, it would be another week before Chichi eventually intervened and forcefully removed the splintered wood from her alien husbands hair.
Up at the other end of the hallway, there was no wall. Only a large hole in the wall where Bulma knew a door stood earlier in the day. Large cracks spread out from the hole, reaching the ceiling, floor and the other two walls.
The next to receive the looks Bulma was dishing out were Chichi, Gohan and Videl. The latter two were still trying to restrain the feisty older woman who was on a one woman mission to bash some sense into Vegeta. Chichi had now taken to gnawing on Gohan's arm as if it were a bone and Gohan was unsuccessfully trying to wrestle it out of her grip. All thoughts of saving Vegeta's life were soon out of his head as his own self-preservation instincts kicked in.
Bulma shook her head and glared down at her husband, who -lucky for him- was still lying knocked out on the deck. Unfortunately though, the short stature man was still a victim, even in his unconscious state. The demonic due were crouched down next to the poor sap, applying various shades of makeup onto his face, which remarkably still had a scowl on it. On his head sat a bright pink wig topped off with a bright blue bow which matched the bright blue eye shadow Trunks had just finished applying.
Goten was just finishing putting on the aluminous pink lipstick when Trunks broke out the camera, it was at that point that Vegeta's eyes fluttered open. Before the Saiyan Prince knew what had hit him, a bright flash temporally blinded him. This was followed by a gust of air accompanied by the tones of the boys screaming. "RUN AWAY!"
"What in the name of Vegeta?" Murmured Vegeta, groggily sitting up but he froze suddenly as he caught his reflection in a shard of glass laying on the floor.
The troll doll look-alike picked up the glass carefully and examined himself thoroughly, frowning slightly. Then his face went completely neutral. Bulma winced, knowing that expression. This was the calm before the storm and that was never good. A crunching sound a few moments later indicated that the glass in Vegeta's hand had crumbled but even the sharp shards of glass couldn't penetrate Vegeta's tough Saiyan skin.
Almost gingerly, Vegeta stood up and strutted away, acting like he wasn't made up to go out for a night on the town.
"Vegeta! Where are you going?" Bulma finally found her voice.
"Hunting." Vegeta smirked and stalked off toward where her son had ran away to a few moments prior.
"VEGETA! You can't kill Trunks!"
Vegeta however wasn't listening and continued on his path to kill the devil spawn, after all. The world would probably be a better - not to mention safer - place without them in it.
Not one for doing things simply, Vegeta turned and raised a glowing hand, blowing yet another hole into the crumbling walls of Capsule Corp. Bulma's mouth fell open as she struggled to form words. That man! Thoughts of bloody revenges flashed through her genius mind at a faster pace that she could keep track of. Her infamous temper was spiralling out of control, Bulma could feel it slipping.
A piece of plaster from the ceiling chose that moment to come loose and in the most rotten luck ever, land directly on Bulma's head. The blue haired beauty exhaled loudly, blowing the bangs away from her face. Count to ten, Bulma. She commanded herself, forcing herself to breathe slowly. In through your nose, out through your mouth.
A loud crashing sound a few moments later, followed by the squealing of two children which could easily be passed off as animals, indicated to Bulma that her merciless husband had found their child and his partner in crime.
"OHH! What does this button do?"
"NO GOTEN! MUMS BEEN WORKING ON THAT FOR WEEKS! DON'T TOUCH THE …."
The full house shook.
"Button." Trunks finished lamely.
Bulma saw red, a loud popping sound ringing in her ears almost to indicate that she had snapped.
"THAT'S IT! FAMILY MEETING! NOW!" Bulma cried, her tone of voice leaving no room for arguments.
"Well, we'll see you later, eh Bulma. Have to drop Videl and that off home, you know?" Goku finished with a lame laugh.
Bulma's eyes were shooting fire. "Don't you dare. Get in there. Now!
Goku gulped and after tripping up over his own feet a few times ran into the safety of the dining room if only to escape Bulma's wrath for the briefest of moments. Videl, Gohan and Chichi were soon to follow, even the feisty Son Matriarch knew when and when not to speak up.
Everybody was assembled in the dining room. The long, mahogany table stretched down the centre of the room with twenty or so chairs lined up around about it.
Bulma was sitting at the head of the table with Goku sitting on the left of her about two chairs away. Although the Saiyan didn't fear much - apart from needles and his wives frying pan - he wasn't suicidal and if Bulma decided to blow her top again, he would undoubtedly be the one who she aimed it at. More than anything probably just for the fun of it.
Chichi sat directly on Goku's left, one hand on his knee which had began to shake - something he did when he was nervous and that Chichi hated - and the other drumming dangerously on the table top. She glared across at the two delinquents that sat across from her.
Both Son Goten and Trunks Briefs had suddenly fought something extremely interesting on the floor.
Vegeta saw no need to associate himself with others more than necessary so was standing in corner of the room, bathed in shadow and keeping out of sight like all good predators do. He'd took up his favoured stance - eyes closed, arms crossed and leaning the wall, giving off the badass persona. Well one didn't win the Worlds Most Dangerous Man Award seven years running for nothing. Heck, Pizza delivery boys were now terrified to approach the large dome-shaped house where legends told of a ferocious beast that prowled the halls and kept the beautiful Bulma Briefs hostage.
Many a brave man had tried to free Bulma from the monsters clutches, but like many before them they were lucky to make it past the front door without urinating themselves or passing out from fear. If, -miraculously that is - one did make it past the compounds gates they soon fell victim to the monster himself who didn't appreciate 'pathetic humans' trying to hit on 'his woman'. They were soon subjected to, in best case scenario, a six month hospital stay and about two years of therapy.
In worst case's, well, lets just say the bodies were never found.
Gohan and Videl sat on the completely opposite end of the table from Bulma, fearing for their own lives if they went any closer. The two were holding hands, with Videl's surprisingly tight grip almost cutting off the circulation to Gohan's hand. Was it just his luck that the girl he was with was so much like his mother it was scary?
"Hey, Gohan?" Videl whispered.
"Don't be. Bulma's a genius and scary when provoked, but I wouldn't necessary say she's evil. I think."
"For some reason, that doesn't make me feel better."
Gohan laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head in a typical Son like fashion.
Bulma cleared her throat and instantly all activity around the table ceased. Trunks and Goten stopped elbowing each other, Chichi stopped drumming her fingers on the table, Goku stopped twitching his leg and even Vegeta cranked open an eye lazily to look at his wife.
For poor Gohan though, if anything, Videl's grip on his hand only tightened.
"I've come to a decision, and I'm sure Chichi will agree with me here. We can't go on like this! Now I know we're not family, but we may as well be. Chichi and I are best friends and Goku and I have known each other since childhood. I'm Gohan's godmother and Goten and Trunks are practically joined at the hip. Also, Vegeta and Goku are the last of their kind, so that makes them almost like brothers."
This was the wrong thing to say.
"WHAT?! WOMAN HAVE YOU LOST WHAT LITTLE MARBLES YOU HAVE LEFT? I am a Prince, an elite of a proud race and although Saiyan blood runs through Kakarot's blood, there is nothing Saiyan about him! How dare you associate my noble ancestry with that third class clown!"
Vegeta was standing to alert now, glaring at Bulma headedly.
"Oh hush up Veggie-head and hear me out, okay?"
Vegeta bared his fangs as a response.
"So I've decided, we'll all go to therapy classes."
The room was silent for a moment or two, before everybody started shouting out all at once.
"I refuse to partake in such nonsense."
"Hey Chi, is that not where they make crazy people lay on the couch and spill their guts?"
"Therapy Goten. MOOOM!"
"Bulma, are you sure this is a good idea?"
"I don't know about this …"
"I'm not even a part of this family, what's it got to do with me?"
Bulma let the chatter continue for a few more moments before whistling loudly to gain everybody's attention. The Saiyans in the vanity winced, glared at Bulma then went back to their conversations.
"QUIET!" Bulma roared. Instantly the chatter died down.
"Vegeta, you are part of this family and you will go or I will tell my mother to stop cooking for you and disable all of my cooking drones then start cooking myself. Yes Goku, that's the basis of therapy. Goten, therapy is where a professional helps you with any problems you may be experiencing. Chichi I think this will be very beneficial for everybody involved, we have to do something and this is the only thing I can think of at the moment. Gohan, where's your sense of adventure? Videl, I've already spoke to your father, he seems up for it and has even gone to the liberty of giving me his own personal therapists number and has offered to pay all the expenses. Guess he's finally starting to feel guilty for stealing the credit for Cell and Buu. Why that dirty, conniving, son-of- …"
"Bulma!" Chichi cut in sharply, stopping the bluette from cursing in front of their young sons.
"I still don't think it's a good idea." Gohan repeated uncertainly.
Bulma's eyes narrowed at the oldest demi-Saiyan. "And why not?"
"Woman! I thought even your inferior mind would be able to work out why the brat's so worried. This shows once again why us Saiyans are superior to you humans."
"Spit it out Vegeta!"
Vegeta rolled his eyes. "We're aliens."
Bulma arched a perfectly waxed eyebrow at her husband and made circular motions with her hand, indicating she wanted him to explain more. Vegeta however, was in no mood to explain anything else today and retreated back to his space on the wall - arms crossed and glaring at anything that dared look in his direction.
"What he means Bulma is we've seen things that makes even the bloodiest wars in this planets history look like child play. We've fought those battles and came back stronger from them. We've even died fighting them. Our lives revolve around our unearthly powers and the dragon balls. How are we going to go to a therapist and be 'cured' if we can't even tell the truth? We'll be lying left right and centre." Gohan pointed out.
Bulma shrugged, her decision was made and after she made up her mind there was no changing it. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, we're going. End of discussion. Do you agree Chi? Videl?"
Chichi's eyes narrowed at her husband who was making slow movements toward the window in attempts to escape. "Oh, I more than agree Bulma. Let's see if we can get our husbands under control yet."
Videl nodded enthusiastically, a little afraid to disagree. "Sure Bulma. Sounds like, fun?"
As the women broke out in maniacal laughter that could make even Kid Buu cringe in terror, the three adult Saiyans stared at each other warily. Just what had they gotten themselves into when they became associated with the women in their lives?
Goten and Trunks were oblivious to the drama going on around them. Instead, they were planning their next major prank on Veggie-head. They had realised that make-up and wigs weren't really the best props to use because they could be easily removed. Hair dye on the other hand? The demonic duo sniggered, flashing each other a smirk before Trunks quickly stashed the plans away in his gi.
This could be … fun?
A/N: So what do you think? Good/okay/terrible?