Quick drabble. I wanted to mess around with Lucheni and Der Tod until I could get their personalities into my head. Reviews are always appreciated.

Disclaimer- Elisabeth was conceived by Michael Kunze and Sylvester Levay. All use of historical figures and personifications of abstract ideas in this story is because of them.

The Show Must Go On

Luigi Lucheni had decided long ago that he did not like this place. The problem, he found, was not the overly dramatic punishment he'd been looped in for over a century, nor was it the fact that they (whoever they were) insisted on trying him in German, though both were compelling reasons to hate Purgatory.

No, he hated the place because the lighting for his little act was always horrendous.

If Lucheni earned a lira for every time he had mistaken Rudolf for his father over the years, he would have had enough money to bribe pure Saint Peter at the gates of Heaven. Yes, more than one night he had mistakenly directed Rudolf to sing a suddenly incestuous duet with Elisabeth, while Franz-Joseph stole away to Mayerling and danced a premature waltz with Death. On a couple of particularly confused nights, Franz-Joseph actually chose Helene to be his wife, and once he had chosen Ludovika.

Death, being the good sport he was, fell in love accordingly.

His Majesty was not pleased, to say the least. One night while he waltzed with Maximilian of Mexico (who had suddenly become very important to the plot), he swung by Lucheni and swore a thousand nights of pain on him between gritted teeth. He did not seem to care that this had been an innocent, if very amusing mistake on Lucheni's part.

"Whatever can you do to me, Highness?" Lucheni smirked. "I'm already dead."

"I can convert part of your remaining sentence to half a century of Wagner," Death informed him with a sadistic smile. "Would you like that?"

"You don't have that authority," Lucheni said uncertainly. "Do you?"

"It's wildly overstepping my prerogative, but yes, I do have that privilege," Death shrugged.

Lucheni shuddered, and said, "I'll do my best tonight, Highness."

"You better," Death nodded, and left, humming the overture from Parsifal.

That night, the story went exactly as it was supposed to.

Until Death happened to look at the person he was wooing and found himself very much in love with Franz-Joseph.

"YOU ALL LIED! THIS MUST BE HELL!" Lucheni screamed later that night.

Unfortunately his voice was drowned out by the last lament of Brunnhilde before she set herself alight.