A/N: Alright, so while I was writing one of the latest AHS installments, I had a strong craving for smut. So, I was reading through one of the doujinshi on my computer at home.

It was a futanari one (no futa in here…) of 'The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya' and I was reminded of the time I wanted to write a KisaIta story based on that show.

I never got around to it…

So here's a little, smutty, porn with a little bit of plot, story.


Seeing as how in this story, those close to Kisame think he's a god, they have upmost respect for him. Doing whatever he says, helping out with his crazy schemes, calling him 'Hoshigaki-sama' or 'Hoshigaki'.

If there are any other questions, you can leave them in a review! Let's go!

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto, or Haruhi.

It was just a normal day at school for one Itachi Uchiha. The young and beautiful, yet a little bit conserved sophomore student had successfully completed two tests and turned in an essay, all the while being the model, straight-a over-achiever he was.

Normalcy is only a stone's throw away from lunacy. As our young friend would soon find out.

Itachi stayed behind after his last class to help with clean-up duty. He worked diligently until he looked at the clock and saw that it was almost 3:30. "Oh no..." He sighed, tossing some trash into a bin, "The Supernatural Squadron is having a meeting today..." One of the girls that was in the class giggled,

"I can't believe you joined that club in the first place, Itachi!" Itachi laughed and sighed. To tell you the truth, he never actually joined. It was more like, he was shoved into the meeting-room by the club's president, one Kisame Hoshigaki. Ever since then, Itachi had been whisked along with the crazy, insane antics of the club (searching for ghosts, monster-hunting, making movies, karaoke contests, cosplay-contests, and the list went on...).

"It's not really all that bad." Itachi stated, actually telling the truth. The main reason he liked the club was the fact that in being a part of it, he had actually made some friends. One of the guys in the room called over,

"You should get a move on. We can handle the rest here." Itachi nodded and said his thanks before grabbing his stuff and making his way to the classroom that the Supernatural Squadron met in. When he got there, though, it seemed... quieter than usual. Nonetheless, Itachi ignored it and walked right in.

In the room, as always, there was a large, octagonal desk in the middle of it. That's where they would conduct their meetings (rather, where Kisame would announce whatever the hell they were doing that day). Right now, however, a long-haired blonde with his hair up in a pony-tail was reading a magazine at the table, blue eyes skimming over the pages boredly.

"Deidara!" Itachi called, causing the blonde to look up and smile.

"Hey, Itachi! What's up, un?" Itachi walked in and replied, looking around,

"Nothing, nothing... So, where is everyone?" Deidara smiled and stood up, humming out,

"Oh, around..." Itachi raised a thin eyebrow and asked,

"Deidara? What is going on here..?" Suddenly, the door clicked shut. Itachi whipped around and saw a short-haired albino watching them with mischievous eyes. "H-Hidan?!" Itachi stuttered but composed himself enough to say, "What is this? Tell me!" Hidan smirked and pointed to the back of the room,

"Ask them." Itachi gulped, his eyes following the direction in which Hidan pointed. When he looked, he saw three older teens. One was a brunette with medium-length hair and emerald green eyes. He had a stitched up scar across his face that made him seem all the more threatening as he read over a Personal Finance textbook.

The second was a princely-looking teen with blood-red hair, deep copper eyes, and his hands were currently busy preparing some video equipment.

Finally, the tall, well-built teen in the middle had blue hair and his skin was actually blue. He chuckled darkly when Itachi called out,

"Hoshigaki?" Kisame Hoshigaki didn't like people calling him by his first name, usually. So mostly everyone called him 'Hoshigaki' or 'Hoshigaki-sama'. The brunette (Kakuzu) and the red-head (Sasori) backed off before Kisame turned and gave a sharp smile. He narrowed piercing black eyes and held up a glass of boiling, neon-pink liquid.

"Here Itachi..." Kisame walked up to the frightened Uchiha, holding the glass to him. "It's my 'Cherry-Popping Love-Love'-special." He shoved it to Itachi's face, still smirking, "I want you to drink it all down!" Itachi backed up a bit and gulped before asking nervously,

"Ho-Hoshigaki? What is that stuff?" The liquid was still boiling and it actually smelled like cherry-bubble gum.

"Come on Itachi..." Kisame tried placing it to Itachi's lips, just to have Itachi duck away and ask,

"Why do I have to drink it?!" He looked to Deidara and Hidan before he yelled, "Guys! Help me out here!" Abruptly, both of Itachi's hands were roughly seized and pinned to the wall above his head. Itachi yelped slightly and looked to each of his sides and saw Kakuzu and Sasori restraining him.

"I'm afraid that that's not possible." Kakuzu's deep voice stated. Itachi whined out,

"But why?! All they have to do is open the door and--!" Itachi's protest was cut short when he saw Hidan hand Kisame the key to the room, the shark-like teen dropping it into his pocket. Sasori cooed,

"So as you can see, it will be impossible for any of us to leave until Hoshigaki-sama permits it!" Itachi tried struggling against the two teens that were holding his arms but they were just too strong. Instead, he looked at Kisame and asked,

"Why are you doing this?! What did I do?!" Kisame huffed before commanding,

"Sasori, show him." The red-head used one of his hands to pull out a picture from his pocket and hold it in front of Itachi's face.

"Hm?" Itachi blinked before he could recognize what it was a picture of. It was him and Kakashi Hatake, one of the English Teachers at the school, sitting at a table in the cafeteria. "But that was..!"

"Yes, you and Hatake-sensei had a little... 'private-conversation', we could say." Kakuzu explained. "And... whereas you might not think so..." Kakuzu pointed to Itachi's leg and stated, "He touched your leg. Right here." Itachi squinted at the picture and tried to see what the treasurer was talking about and exclaimed,

"What the hell?! I was just talking to him about my grades!!" Kisame laughed and huffed,

"Of course it was! Anything to try and cover up your actions, eh Itachi?" He then slowly began to unbutton Itachi's shirt, enjoying the sight of the rarely (never) exposed skin. "But..." The shark began again, "You're not alone!" He turned and pointed a thumb to Deidara and Hidan. "Your fellow members in slutty-infedelity are Deidara and Hidan!" The blonde and the albino smiled and waved softly,

"We're sluts."

"So nonchalantly?!?" Itachi yelped. The long-haired brunette was about to say more but a rush of cold air on his chest distracted him from his words. He looked in front of him and saw Kisame smirking. The bluenette dipped a finger into the glass and wiped the liquid against the younger's nipples, eliciting a slight whine, "Don't!" Kisame laughed,

"Your nipples seem to say otherwise~! But I can not forgive your cheating ways!" He turned away and thought for a second before stating, "Although imagining you as a slut is kind of hot..."

"What?!" Itachi yelped. However, he saw something that shocked him even more than Kisame's words. Both Deidara and Hidan began undressing as if it were a completely normal thing. "Why are you two undressing?!" Deidara hummed, taking off his socks,

"It seems that Hoshigaki-sama is mad at us, un..." Hidan added, removing his pants,

"He thinks that we influenced you to cheat on him." Itachi whined,

"Cheat on him?! But I--!" Deidara, already naked, undid the band in his hair, blonde locks cascading down his shoulders. He spoke,

"Despite your protests, Itachi, he won't be appeased until we..." Itachi gulped,

"We what?" Hidan removed his underwear and concluded,

"Until we embarrass ourselves sexually for his amusement!" Both the blonde and the albino gave each other high-fives as they were finally undressed. Itachi shook his head furiously, yelling,

"YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS?!" Unfortunately, yelling left his mouth wide open. Kisame smirked and took this opportunity to force the potion down Itachi's throat. Itachi yelped and tried to move away but was still held fast by Kakuzu and Sasori. The bluenette smiled,

"Don't worry, Itachi! Just have some of my Cherry-Popping Love-Love -special and in no time..." Itachi couldn't help it, he was forced to swallow all of the sweet-smelling liquid. When they saw that Itachi had obeyed, Kakuzu and Sasori let him fall to the floor. Itachi was desperately trying to catch his breath when Kisame finished, ".. You'll be feeling super-horny!!" There were cheers all around the room but they didn't get through Itachi. He was too busy trying to get in control of the dizzying feeling that his body felt.

'What is this?!' He thought, panicked, 'I'm so dizzy... I'm going to faint!" However, he couldn't rest before he felt his clothes being roughly removed and something being slipped onto him. "Huh? Wha..?"

"But before that..!" The sound of Kisame's voice shocked him out of his delirium and saw that his clothes had in fact changed. The short, blue, pleated skirt... The tight, white blouse with a red bow... and the shiny dress-shoes. Itachi had been changed into the same school-girl outfit that Kisame had forced him into wearing at the last Halloween dance. "The beautiful sex-nymph emerges from his cocoon in costume!"

"No!!" Itachi groaned, "Not again!" He was in so much distress that he didn't notice Sasori setting something up in front of the classroom. Kisame cheered,

"Yes! This is going to be epic!" Kisame leaned down and picked Itachi up off the floor. He then spoke into the black-haired male's ear. "But in order for us to be successful at this business-venture, we can't tell anyone about..." He spread the younger's legs and Itachi squeaked in embarrassment as he saw his skirt lift up. "Your little surprise here!"

Itachi felt as though he could die! His face absolutely burned rose as the eyes of everyone in the room looked at his betraying body-language. "What is all this?! How could this..?!" He gulped, "But I've always been... so careful..." His thoughts were interrupted when he felt a larger hand groping his erect member. He yelped in surprise before Kisame growled,

"You were saying, Itachi?" Itachi shivered as Kisame's hand rubbed him through the fabric of the skirt. "Honestly, how were you going to have any fun in this if you couldn't feel what we were feeling?"

"Hai!" Deidara and Hidan cheered, the blonde walking over to the front of Itachi. The black-haired male screamed,

"Deidara, please! I don't know what's going on, but you have to help me!!" Deidara smirked and dropped to his knees. He deftly removed the skirt and giggled at the sight of Itachi's twitching member. Blue eyes glanced up and the blonde spoke,

"Of course I'll help, un!" Then he began to lick and nip to hardened flesh. Itachi screamed, unexpected pleasure coursing through him at the blonde's administrations.

"What are you doing?!!" Itachi screamed. Deidara stopped for a second before he answered,

"I'm making sure that Hoshigaki-sama will enjoy fucking you, un!" Itachi's eyes widened.

"No! No way!"

"You know you want it..." Deidara mused before continuing his licking.

"Mrm... No~ Stop..." Itachi mewled and whimpered at the feelings. Still Kisame held him so he was forced to endure everything. "It feels...wierd..." He groaned out. Just then, Kisame began nibbling on his ear and tweaking his nipples, saying,

"Here! I'll help you out!" Itachi groaned again, panting and huffing.

"Stop, please..." Kisame stopped nibbling for a second and asked,

"Are we hurting you?" Itachi shook his head, replying,

"No... I just feel... so weak..." This statement caused Kisame to smirk and further his actions, commanding Deidara,

"You heard him! Step it up a notch, Deidara!!" The blonde male nodded and began sucking Itachi's member, not forgetting to stroke his own neglected cock. He also began rubbing the sensitive place between Itachi's testicles and his entrance. This action nearly caused Itachi to fall to his knees, pleasure threatening to undo him. Kisame laughed, "See that! Keep it up, Deidara!"

"D-D-D-D-D-D-Don't!" Itachi yelled. Listening proved no to be the two assaulters' strong-suit because they just continued their actions. The black-haired male's panting was heavy, mind swimming as he panted out, "What is this feeling~?" With one last suck, Itachi's whole body shook as his cock released long and hard into Deidara's mouth.

When the blonde had sucked up most of it, he let go of Itachi's member and licked some of the white, sticky cum off of his lips. Itachi didn't notice, he was far too busy trying to recover from what just happened. But sooner than later, Kisame's voice found Itachi's ears. "Wow, Itachi... For such a calm, polite person, you sure do cum a lot, huh?" When Kisame let got of Itachi, the younger sank to the floor. If you listened closely, you could hear quiet sobs of,

"I just... lost my innocence... Now I won't be able to get married..." Kisame chuckled and patted Itachi on the back, saying,

"Don't worry about that! I was going to propose to you when you graduated anyway!" Then, before a response could be made, "But anywho, stop feeling sorry for yourself!!" The shark-like teen grabbed Itachi's member and began stroking the flesh back to life.

"Wait, stop!" Itachi squirmed, trying to get away from the offender but Kisame would have none of it.

"But look at how hard you're getting!" He slowed his motions, making Itachi let out the cutest moans and whimpers, "You wouldn't want to go out there with a hard-on, right?" Itachi jolted at the thought and said,


"Good!" Kisame let go of Itachi's flesh and picked the young male up, placing him on the table. As blue hands began removing his top, Itachi protested weakly,

"What are you doing?"

"Shh..." Kisame cooed. "It'll be fine..." When Itachi was naked, Kisame stood back and let his eyes roam over the young one's form. A beautifully blushing face, deep onyx eyes, rosy nipples against paper-like skin, and a beautiful, dripping cock just ready for more action. "You look so gorgeous..." Kisame sighed before beginning to get undressed. Itachi slightly rose up on his elbows while Kisame removed his own clothes. The blue skin was obvious, and the well-formed muscles moved with each movement. But the detail that made Itachi blush even more (if possible) was the club president's large cock, standing at attention.

"Wow..." Itachi whispered, instantly regretting it. Kisame simply chuckled and draped himself over Itachi's body, holding himself up with his arms.

"I thank you for the comment. But now is not the time for flattery!" Kisame sat up and took hold of both of Itachi's legs. Itachi whined softly at the action but soon found that he had more important things to worry about. Kisame held up another cup of the pink potion and set it on the table besides them. He dipped in three fingers and made sure to get them nice and wet before spreading Itachi's legs and circling his anus with a wet finger. "Now, I'll need you to relax for this part Itachi..." Kisame murmured before slipping a finger inside.

Itachi groaned and tried to get away, shock evident all over his body from being invaded in such a place. Kisame simply kept thrusting the finger in and out before slowly adding another, scissoring the tight ring of muscle. "It hurts!" Itachi cried out, tears actually gathering at the corners of his eyes. However, he was surprised when Kisame leant in and kissed them away, saying,

"Don't cry... Please, don't cry... It'll be over soon..." Itachi looked at the shark-like male and saw a true look of concern on his face. In that second, Itachi felt as though maybe, just maybe, Kisame actually had feelings for him. "Itachi..."

"Kisame..." Itachi whispered as they gazed into each other's eyes.

"Cut, cut, cut!!" Sasori's voice called from the front of the classroom. Both Itachi and Kisame looked over to see Sasori standing behind a camera on a tripod, holding a script. "What are you two going on about?!" Itachi nearly choked before screaming,

"NO!! No cameras! Please!!" Kisame thrust his fingers inside of Itachi, causing him to moan softly.

"Sorry about that! But think about it, Itachi: The debut romance of two of the Supernatural Squadron's members!" He thrusted his fingers in and out a few more times before adding a third. "And we have to be good actors and play out our roles, right?" Itachi moaned out, the feelings of the fingers becoming more and more arousing,

"Please... No..." Kisame ran his fingers along Itachi's length, loving the hiss of pleasure he got.

"The body never lies, Itachi. You're loving this!" Itachi tried to deny the shark, he really did! But, somewhere in the back of his mind, he new that Kisame was... right. However, they both yelped when they were hit with two somethings. They turned out to be notebooks labeled 'Script'. Sasori called over,

"Enough ad-libbing! Just read your scripts and prepare for a retake!" Itachi nodded slowly and shakily opened up his script, Kisame opened his up and set it on the table next to the potion. "Alright! Take two, action!" The camera started up and Kisame read out,

"'Your sinful body has indeed been tainted by unholy forces. But I shall do my best to heal you with all that is at my disposal!'" Itachi read his part,

"'Surely, you must be a celestial being sent from the heavens above! For you to wield such a devastating weapon'?" Itachi looked at Sasori who made a 'go on' motion. "'You handle your once concealed item well'?" Kisame read out,

"'I shall cleanse this wicked body with my holy lance! I shall use it to cleanse your soul!'" Itachi looked at his script, reading,

"'Please, wash away my evil heart with your...'" He did a double-take at the lines. "'Your'... WHAT?!" He exclaimed at the rest of the lines. However, Sasori, who had been rubbing himself through his pants during the preparation scene, stated,

"Good, that's good! Now, Hoshigaki-sama!"


"After that, you wrote that you remove your fingers and piston into Itachi really hard!" Kisame smirked before removing his fingers and flipping Itachi over onto his stomach.

"What? Huh?" Itachi gasped, confused, "Wait, what's going on?! I'm not sure-- AAHH!!" He screamed as he felt the head of Kisame's cock push into him. Itachi whined, grasping at the table to get a firm grip of something as Kisame slowly thrusted in. "Wait! Aah~! Stop!" Itachi yelped with each test-thrust that Kisame gave. Kisame, Sasori, and Kakuzu frowned at Itachi's performance before the brunette got up from where he was sitting and drank some of the pink potion down.

"I had a feeling this might happen..." He sighed. Then undressed himself. When he was naked, his own large cock twitching from being released, Kakuzu smirked,

"This calls for Kakuzu Hoku to serve as an acting-coach!" Itachi glanced over and gasped as Kakuzu spoke, "My pants had been feeling a bit tight for a while now..."

"No way... Kakuzu too?" Itachi whispered. Kakuzu nodded and grabbed Hidan, who had been getting off on the little performance and tossed him to the floor. Kakuzu picked up some of the extra potion left and poured it over Hidan's hole, drinking in the sight of the pink liquid dripping down the crack of Hidan's ass. The brunette positioned himself at the albino's hole and stated,

"Now let me show you how to screw someone!", before shoving his erection straight into Hidan. Hidan let out the most arousing scream of pleasure and pain, the noise going straight to everyone's groins. Sasori groaned and called,

"Deidara! Get over here!" The blonde followed the instructions and then Sasori pulled down his pants. Deidara took it from there, releasing Sasori's throbbing member and beginning to give the red-head a through blow-job. Itachi took in everything, sighing and panting as he felt a small twinge wanting Kisame to do what Kakuzu was doing to Hidan. Soon though, Kisame whispered to Itachi,

"I can't hold back anymore, Itachi..." Itachi nodded and relaxed himself the best that he could before Kisame began to thrust deep into him. And as the actions went on, Itachi realized that it wasn't that bad... In fact, he kind of liked it!

"Harder!" He moaned out. "Go harder!" Kisame had to hold back a laugh but was happy to oblige. He went faster, his thrusts getting harder, until he hit something inside Itachi that made the younger male scream out in pleasure. "Oh God!! There! Do that again!!" Kisame was more than happy that he had found Itachi's prostate and began to aim his thrusts so that he hit that place every time. Sasori saw this and zoomed in onto Kisame's face, saying,

"Loving that predatory expression, Hoshigaki-sama! It screams dominance but still has a sense of caring! Keep it like that!" Kisame nodded as he kept thrusting into Itachi. Sasori lowered the camera's gaze to Itachi's face and frowned a bit. "Itachi... I know that it's your first time but your facial-expression is too stiff!" Itachi looked up and panted,

"What should... I do?" Sasori smirked, silently urging Deidara on with his blowjob with his free hand,

"You need to look more appealing! Even if this started out with a semi-rape..." The red-head moaned as Deidara ran his teeth along his cock before adding, "Remember that you're trembling with carnal lust inside! You need a more..." He gave a sexy glare, "This type of look." Itachi looked at Sasori and thought for a moment before looking at the camera with ebony eyes glazed over with lust, a blushing and sweaty face, and sexy, pouty lips.

"Like this?" He asked huskily. Everyone looked at Itachi in shock. The younger male had far exceeded their expectations. That look alone almost made Kisame lose control. He thrusted hard into Itachi a few times before remembering himself and regaining his rhythm and making sure that Itachi was feeling all the pleasure.

A few minutes of this carnal pleasures and Itachi choked out, "Ah.. I'm going to cum again!" Kisame kissed the back of Itachi's neck, stating,

"Yeah, I'm getting close too." All around the room, the tensions of their actions was building up. And soon, Sasori gritted out,

"Fuck!!" Before cumming down Deidara's throat, some of splashing onto the blonde's face. That, and the fact that he had been pumping himself, was enough to make the blonde cum all over himself.

Meanwhile, with Kakuzu and Hidan, the albino moaned out, "Oh Jashin! I... I..." With a scream, he came all over the floor beneath them. With a deep groan, Kakuzu soon came after.

Finally, Kisame and Itachi. They were both so close, but something was missing. What was it? "Ah!" Kisame realized. He quickly pulled out, shocking Itachi for a moment before he rolled Itachi onto his back and thrusted back in.

"What was--?"

"I want to see your face..." Kisame answered, thrusting into Itachi's warmth. Itachi nodded and let Kisame do what he pleased with his body. But, Kisame lowered himself so that their faces almost touched and whispered, "Itachi, I..." Itachi smiled and replied,

"I love you too.," before they met in a tender, passionate kiss. One more thrust and Itachi had to push away, screaming Kisame's name as his sticky cum shot out onto their chests. He moaned heavily when he felt Kisame's release coating his insides.

A while later, we see Itachi giving his first blow-job to Kisame, who is sitting on one of the lounge-chairs in the room. "Hey, I thought that you were a modest person!" Kisame laughed. Itachi pulled off for a second before smirking at Kisame and answered,

"Screw modesty. I like this too much!", before beginning to suck again.

Another scene would show Itachi jerking off in front of the camera, Kisame holding the device now. "Now, Itachi... Give a little twist to it!" Itachi nodded and did what he was told, the action causing a jolt of pleasure to course through his body and a loud moan to exit his lips.

"Keep it 'cumming' Itachi!" Sasori cheered, currently fucking Deidara against a desk.

Now the footage would show Itachi making out with Deidara, the blonde jerking them off together. Hidan was currently rubbing Itachi's body in certain area, nibbling on the black-haired male's ear. At that, Itachi pulled away from Deidara and laughed,

"Hidan~! Stop nibbling on my ear!"

Later that day...

The classroom was a mess, to put it simply. There was white almost everywhere and the three ukes (Itachi, Deidara, and Hidan) were lying about the floor, sleeping off their intense actions.

There was a chirping of a bird from outside that caused Itachi to wake up, blinking sleep from his eyes. "Hm?" He sat up, wincing from an intense pain from his bottom. He looked around and whispered,

"Hey. Deidara! Hidan!" The two slowly woke up, Hidan groaning,

"Ah, I look and feel like a steam-roller ran over my ass!" Deidara fell back and whined,

"Do you think we over-did it?" They all looked at each other and laughed,

"Of course not!"

Despite the aftermath, what they did was damned-near unbelievable. There was no way that they could regret it. Itachi sat against the table and sighed. Did Kisame really mean what he had said?

They didn't hear the tapping from down the hall.

Sure, Itachi loved him, but... was the feeling mutual?

The door clicked open and who should burst in but,

"Hey my lovely, lovely ukes!!" Kisame Hoshigaki himself. He wasn't alone, however. No, Kakuzu walked in, holding a briefcase full of money and Sasori was holding his camera plus a box with a few dvds in it. Itachi sighed but found himself smiling at the shark's antics. The bluenette smirked and announced, "Magnificent Success! Those are the only words that I can use to describe our reception!" Itachi gulped slightly but asked,

"So... People... Liked it?" Kakuzu held up his briefcase and said,

"Let's just say I have five more of these in my car." Hidan whistled,

"Damn..." They all basked in the glow of success for a moment before Kisame announced,

"To celebrate this..." He picked up Itachi and held him close to himself, "And the fact that me and Itachi have consummated our love, we're going to my family's hot springs!" Everyone cheered, especially Itachi. He was ecstatic, silently of course, that Kisame still loved him. As the ukes tried to find their clothes, however, Sasori added,

"And so that we can start planning for the filming of part two!" Kisame, Kakuzu, and Sasori cheered. The ukes, on the other hand...



A/N: Yeah, well there goes another doujinshi-inspired smut-fest! I hope that people liked it, I just needed to write smut so badly! I hope people like my little break from horror.

Please review!

-Tyranno's girl.