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Hiii. Being grounded made me realize I miss writing, love&miss this couple, and it's soo boring! D:

I don't own That 70's Show.

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Steven Hyde didn't understand love. Mostly because he's never experienced it before.

His Mom abandoned him countless times. She was extremely irresponsible. She bought him beer and drugs, for christ'sfuckingsakes.

His"Dad," who he found out later on, wasn't really his Dad, abused and left him. He didn't give two shits if he was breathing or not.

He never had a real girlfriend. Just some whores he slept with.

He hated it.

The closest thing he had to love was the Foreman's. They took him in when he had no one. No where to go. To live. He claimed he didn't want their help, which was true. But he also claimed he didn't need it, even he knew that wasn't true. They were the closest thing to a family he ever had. Red screamed at him like his son, even though he liked him more then Eric, who was his own son. Kitty loved him like her own. She treated him like gold. His parents would never even think of doing that.

That's why he hated everything and everyone.

He hated his Mom for abandoning him. For being irresponsible. For not being there for him. For buying him beer and drugs. For not being a parent. A Mom. Sure, he called her Mom, but that was just on paper. In reality, she wasn't a Mother. She didn't do anything for him. She didn't care.

He hated his "Dad." His birth Father was okay, his sister was a bitch a half. He treated him like a son. The one he grew up with, believing it was his father was the same as his Mom. Only worse. All he was to him was a drunk, abusive bastard.

He had no reason to love anything. Everyone abandoned him. Left him for dead. Hated him. He couldn't love anyone. He didn't know how. He put up walls around himself. He didn't let anyone in. He didn't trust anyone. He doesn't talk to anyone. He doesn't talk feelings. He doesn't have feelings. He wanted protection. He wanted closure. He got it. He didn't feel. Love. Pain. The only thing he felt was hate. Hate towards everything. Everyone. He didn't cry. He didn't care. He was numb.

He was an asshole. He did it so he wouldn't get close to anyone. So no one would like him and just leave him alone.

Then he met Jackie Burkhart. He loved her. She broke down those walls. She made him feel, want, love, cry, hurt. For her. Her. He loved Her.

He didn't understad why. She was everything he hated. Rich, snobby, happy, preppy, annoying, a pain in the ass. He was the exact opposite of him. This is why he hated feelings. They were confusing, annoying, and upsetting.

He didn't understand why he felt bad whenever she cried, even before they went out. Why she always went to him for comfort and he kind of liked it, but he'd never tell anyone that. Or why he took her to the prom. And when he got into a fight with Kelso about it he said, "She cried, man." As if it were all said and done. That was it. He said it like that was a perfect excuse or reason.

He didn't know why he cared when she went out with what's - his - name from the barbeque. Why he punched him when he called her a bitch and just wanted her in bed. How he said hated it when she talked. Why did he care? Why was he jealous? Why did it piss him off?

He didn't understand why he was hurt when she said she didn't feel anything the first time they kissed. Why it bothered him. Because he felt everything in that kiss.

He didn't understand why he was so upset when Jackie called Kelso her boyfriend. He didn't understand why he was hurt she liked him. They had a huge fight about it. He dumped her for about two minutes. Then she said she loved him. He was happy. He's never happy. He didn't know what to say. But he couldn't let her know that. So he put up his asshole barrier and told her he didn't feel the same and that he wouldn't say it back. But they both knew they were still together. They were fine. He didn't understand he was so jealous of all the times he thought she cheated on him with Kelso. Why he was so jealous of Kelso. Kelso!? I mean, come on. He didn't understand why he would always get into fights with Kelso about her. That he would kick his ass for her. Anyone's ass. He didn't understand why he was jealous or angry when guys hit on her.

He didn't understand why he was so protective of her.

Why he wouldn't let her sleep home alone when her parents were gone and had her stay with him. Why he was so angry they left her. Alone with no protection. No one to care or protect her.

Why he was so upset when they fought. When they broke up.

He didn't understand why he felt so guilty when he cheated on her. Guilty. He's never been guilty in his life. Why he told her. He knew she would break up with him. He knew that. But it was eating him out inside and he had to tell her. She cried and cried and cried. For him. And he wanted to cry. Cry. He doesn't cry. Ever. His heart broke for her. Especially because it was his fault. He told her he loved her. She said she didn't. And it hurt. He was hurt. But he didn't know why it hurt so bad.

He didn't understand why he wanted to hold her, tell her it was okay, he loved her when he saw her crying at the game. But instead he just told Donna. And she went and comforted her.

He didn't understand anything anymore. He didn't understand it at all.

All he knew is that Jackie Burhart broke him. He couldn't live with her. He couldn't live without her. He couldn't breath without her. She broke down his walls. She made him feel. Care. Love. She made him love her.

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I don't like this one that much. :\

Hyde was a little too OOC and it was just overall bad.

Review anyway? Prettty please? ;]

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