A/N: There are two point of view in this, if that isn't too confusing. There are time skips but it goes in chronological order. I don't know if this fic is completley random and fast paced but I'm just trying something here. I'm really mean to Nate in this one but that's sort of the whole point of this (read the quote.) And I think its obvious on the middle about my own opinions and I throw in some allusions to the thrid season. This is also my first beta-ed peice, so, party.
"Then why are you here?" He tried to ignore her smooth legs thrown across his rigid lap. She looked up into his eyes. "You take care of me, Chuck." He didn't know if that was an answer or just a statement. Either way, her being so close to his intimacy was not helping.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. All goes to Buffy and GG. Also thank you so much to my beta who gave me the courage to post this.
She's not your bint anymore. And if I can speak frankly, she always had a bit of a thing for me even when she was shagging you.
-- As You Were
Here's how this thing goes, and everyone should be aware of this. If there is one thing I value more than anything, its loyalty. It may not seem like it. I am Chuck Bass after all, but that's the truth. I just never thought it would get to this. I didn't mean it. He may not believe it, but I never meant it. I didn't mean to fall for her. She always had a quality, but I always valued his friendship over some hot arm candy. I didn't know she was more than that. And truthfully his betrayal was worse than mine. At least I waited until she left him. And it was worth it. I'm honest to the point of bluntness and this is what it is. I never wanted to stop being his friend. This wasn't supposed to happen. But then she happened and the rest just followed. It was beyond my control. That may seem like the weak response, but its the truth. If anyone asked if I had to choose between her and him, it would be impossible. There's no comparison. But it happened and here we are. He thinks I betrayed him. I was loyal to him until the very end. He just had to overreact. You can't help who you're attracted to, let alone who you find yourself falling desperately in love with. He should know that better than anyone. If I had my way, I would have them both. But I know that's not how these things works. Oh well. Because I'm over it now. He blames me for losing her and it wasn't my fault. It was his own fault because he couldn't love her enough. He could never love her like I can. Like I do. No one can. And she loves me even more for it. So if he's done with me then I'm done with him. That's that. Because I have her and if he wants to play it this way, then this is how we'll play it.
Chuck survived off being indifferent. If anyone really knew how he actually felt, his power would be lost. That was something he could not accept, especially when he was playing this game. This time, the game wasn't about bedding socialites or getting investments. It was a game he enjoyed playing just for the fun of it. And his favorite partner was the bitchiest ice queen Constance had ever seen.
He liked it.
His desires were sinful. He wasn't supposed to be having them. Especially for his best friend's girl. It was just wrong. But Nate didn't have to know that. Nate was as oblivious as ever, lusting after blonde legs that could never be as captivating as what was right in front of him. Right in front of them.
Chuck knew if this was a competition, he would have already won the prize. But Blair wasn't like the rest of them. She wasn't a trophy to be admired and instantly forgotten. She was Blair. Waldorf. And that was something he could never ignore, no matter how hard he tried.
To the untrained eye, Blair and Nate were the perfect couple. They shone at society events and were polite and social to everyone that mattered. But everyone that mattered weren't behind the scenes. They didn't see the tears and blood shed over some boy that Chuck was sure would never matter. Nate didn't matter. Chuck saw her the way she was and hated how she couldn't. No one saw how blue eyes strayed to blue eyes.
Chuck couldn't take it anymore. He had to remain loyal to Nate. He just had to. There were moments, though, where he deemed this impossible.
Only his father called him. But it wasn't a dark tone that he had inherited that purred. It was an angel light tone that reverberated through him.
This was how he knew she was drunk. She only called him by his Christian name when she was drunk.
He hated how it turned him on.
His eyes slid towards her form in his bedroom.
Not his suite, his bedroom. In the townhouse he shared with his father. Bart had returned for an unspecified amount of time and they were living in an actual home now. No woman had seen this room. Even Serena, Blair's best friend hadn't. He didn't bring them here. Blair was the only female presence to grace its presence (beside the maid, but like that counted. It didn't.)
There was one reason and one reason only how Blair had infiltrated the Bass abode. Bart was downstairs and he trusted her. It wasn't a secret when Bart would not so subtly hint how responsible and courteous Chuck was when Blair was around. Chuck knew this. This was why he tried to stay away.
She always made things harder than they had to be.
"Hello, lovely," he couldn't help but say. She tried to take a sultry step forward but stumbled in her high heels. He was at her side in a second and he knew in that instant she held way too much power over him.
"Hey," she said into his ear. He clenched his eyes closed, trying not to inhale the scotch on her breath. She knew it drove him crazy. He loved the smell of scotch and when it permeated her breath it was all he could do but take her on his own bedroom floor.
"Hey," he returned, looking into her eyes, shades darker than they usually were. He had gotten used to these looks accompanied by alcohol. She always got this way when they were alone with alcohol in her system. The way she breathed heavily in his ear and pressed her body to his. If Nate saw this, Chuck wasn't really sure what would happen. Nathaniel had a way of rationalizing Blair's behavior. He had to convince himself that Blair wasn't as bad as Chuck loved her. And that would mean blaming Chuck even though Blair was the one who had a habit of doing this.
She had a habit of coming onto him strongly every time she was inebriated. It had been awhile since he tried to stop these performances. She came frequently for him and he always had to be the one to pull away. Because she would never pull away. Not anymore. Not ever. He had to be wary of that. He had to be wary that the next time she pursued him, he might not be able to resist.
He thought this just in time for her to lean into his neck. He clenched his jaw with his eyes shut, trying to ward it away. It wasn't working. Her lips caressed his neck as her teeth nibbled. His hand found its way down to the small of her back but he wouldn't let it continue from that. He couldn't let this happen, no matter how much he wanted it.
Her arms encircled his neck and she rested her head on his shoulder. He arched his neck, looking down at her.
"Why won't you kiss me?" she asked softly. It was the sentence he knew was coming. It was the sentence she asked every time she came to him.
"You're not mine to take," he whispered back.
"Do you wish I was?"
"Don't ask me that, Waldorf," he told her gruffly. "Don't ever ask me that."
He had to say that even as she nuzzled the front of his jacket. He allowed him self one breath of her scent but that was all. That was all he ever allowed himself because he knew it was one breath too much. It was one touch too much, it was one girl too much. She was too much for him and he wondered if she even knew.
"Do you want me to leave?" she asked as he led her uncoordinated body to his bed. "Do you wish I wasn't here?"
"I only wish you weren't here because I can't trust my judgment when I'm around you."
"Neither can I."
"Then why are you here?"
He tried to ignore her smooth legs thrown across his rigid lap. She looked up into his eyes.
"You take care of me, Chuck."
He didn't know if that was an answer or just a statement. Either way, her being so close to his intimacy was not helping.
He hated how she said his name.
He hated how he loved it.
"Do you want me?"
He looked down at her glistening, seemingly innocent eyes. He wanted to drown in them.
"I told you," he said, "don't ask me that."
"In so many words our less," she said into his shoulder. He swallowed as her heels dragged off his lap. She rolled to her side, her back facing him. He still couldn't look away.
"Chuck," she said, her voice muffled by their distance. He didn't like their distance. "Will you lay with me? Just for awhile?"
He pulled himself across his bed, letting the front of his body mold with the back of hers.
"I'll always lay with you."
He wasn't entirely sure the weight of his words. Not yet. But he liked how she reached back and took his hand to pull it over her waist.
He shouldn't have liked it, but he did. It was so wrong. But it was right.
Chuck didn't view it as a betrayal. In his defense, they were broken up when it happened. When he finally let himself feel for her, fall for her, be in her being, she wasn't connected to Nate anymore. She looked up at him with those innocent eyes and they suddenly changed. She wasn't Nate's Blair anymore. She was Chuck's. And she never went back.
She writhed from his touch and Nate didn't even cross his mind. Because she didn't belong to him anymore. She hadn't for awhile. Ever since she started coming to Chuck in the dead of night to where no other woman had been, Nate couldn't have a hold on her no matter what her sober mind told her.
He didn't exactly know when he and Nate had stopped being friends. He supposed it started the summer after they graduated from high school. Nate didn't put on a front at all really, but then again, he wasn't one for facial expressions.
It was like slow poison, seeping through the veins of their friendship, eroding and scalding the blood. But when it came down to it, Chuck realized it had been over for awhile. He knew this as soon as he watched her take the stage. He supposed there wasn't really any harm and watching. But when he took her in his limo, he chose Blair over Nate. And that's how it had been ever since.
It had become blatantly obvious now. Nate would forever be at the Vanderbilt compound and that was just something they they had to realize. In their world, blood lines and families were everything.
And it was over ever since Nate's father had tried to push Cornelius Vanderbilt's diamond ring on Blair.
Now their interactions were composed of cold stares and snide remarks. This wouldn't have been Chuck's first choice, but this was how things were. When it came down to it, Blair was always there for him. And Nate just wasn't.
Nate was a hypocrite. She had no ties to him anymore and he was the one to cheat on her with her best friend. Chuck was Nate's best friend. He would always view himself in that respect. But she was loyal to him until the end. And the end was the beginning of Chuck. He could finally breathe now. He didn't have to worry anymore. He could revert to his normal state. He could let his urges and needs be set free.
He could finally be with her.
"You smell so good."
He couldn't help himself. He never could anymore. He assumed actually having a girlfriend would slacken his passion. Then again, he and Blair never really followed the rules. He wanted her more and more. Especially when she was slightly wasted on his scotch, waiting for him in his room.
With barely anything on.
He kissed her fiercely, savoring her piquant taste.
She pulled away, sliding back on his bed. He watched her with interest, trying to read her. She was so much more difficult when she was drunk (sorry, half drunk.)
"You sure?" she grinned, leaning on her back. "It took you long enough to get here."
"I was unfortunately detained," he all but growled before he was on her.
"I waited for you," she whispered. "I was waiting for you."
"I was always waiting for you," he confessed.
She was staring up at him. Even when she wasn't exactly sober, Blair had the uncanny ability to have perfect clarity. Even after a bottle of champagne she still knew that Chuck was daring her to dance for him and she did it. And it wasn't because of revenge or because he was taking advantage of her. This was something she wanted. And she never looked back.
The way she pretended to be so innocent was just so delectable. He leaned in swiftly to taste the lips that were like the liquid fire that resonated on his wet bar.
"How drunk are you right now?" he teased.
"Would it matter?" she asked, following suite with their persiflage.
"I just want to know how long it would take for you to succumb to me," he murmured huskily to her submissive body. Usually she would punish him for his cockiness. Not tonight.
She must have been very drunk.
"I'm not drunk."
"Waiting for you."
Chuck had enough of the small talk.
He heard her mewl with satisfaction as he grinned into her skin.
"Chuck," she whispered against his flesh.
"I'm almost there," he all but groaned.
"We shouldn't be doing this here."
"Too late," he muttered. She pushed on his half clothed chest.
"Its my room," he reminded her.
"We're not the only people here."
He decided not to heed. It didn't take that long to get her to agree with him.
He liked the way she turned her head away from him in the middle of it. It was as though if she didn't tempt herself with having to look at him during, she wouldn't scream as loud.
She was wrong.
She was oh so wrong.
They should have been paying attention to this but amidst the post coital bliss, Chuck really wasn't thinking. He was just tracing lazy circles in her flushed, yet still porcelain skin.
"We should go back out there," she said quietly.
"You were waiting in here for me," he reminded her.
"I honestly didn't think it was going to progress this far," she admitted.
"Then have I've got surprises for you."
"They heard us," she said, laughing lightly after awhile. It wasn't a question, really. And it wasn't like this hadn't happened before.
"No they didn't," Chuck said confidently.
The door of his room flew open.
Maybe he was wrong.
"Oh my god."
Chuck was vaguely aware of Blair drawing the covers over her shoulders to mask her vulnerability as he just stared into the icy eyes of who used to be his best friend. Nate just cleared his throat and looked to the side, not wanting to take in Chuck's very naked (and slightly more developed) chest.
"Oh my god."
Blair cried out again at Nate's inability or refusal (probably both) to leave. She ducked from the bed with the sheet wrapped around her, grabbing at her dress that littered the floor. Chuck wished she hadn't wrapped it so tight. He didn't like Nate's lingering eyes.
She bolted and slammed the bathroom door behind her.
"Sorry," Nate finally said.
"No," Chuck sighed coolly, putting his feet to the floor. "You're not."
He pulled on his pants, buttoning and zipping, knowing this was exactly the sort of conversation they had to have right now.
Nate raised defiant eyes but Chuck didn't buy it. He didn't want it to come to this but now that it had, he wasn't going to back down.
"You saw me follow her in here," Chuck said darkly. Nate still couldn't look him in the eyes. "What do you even think you're doing?"
Then he did. Nate's angry eyes met his.
"Me?" he asked. "There's a full on party in the next room and you think this is a fine time to go and have sex with--"
"My girlfriend?" Chuck threatened. "Yes, as a matter of fact."
"This isn't how its supposed to be," Nate muttered.
"No," Nate practically yelled in frustration. "She's supposed to be with me."
Chuck recoiled slightly.
"I know that you really believe that," Chuck finally said, "which is the sad thing. You purposely walked in on us. In my room. What did you expect to happen?"
Nate could never articulate well.
"You still blame me for her leaving you. Twice."
"You stole her. You were just supposed to be a fling."
"Is that so?" Chuck asked deadly, slinking across the floor in his bare feet. He knew that his only article of clothing in the form of his pants made Nate nervous. Chuck always made Nate nervous. Chuck knew Blair better than anyone.
"Then let me educate you."
"You have no right," Nate muttered.
"I don't?" Chuck asked bitterly. "I guess I'll have to give you a history lesson as well. Who cheated on who, Nathaniel? I'd like to hear your take on this."
"Its not supposed to be like this," Nate argued.
"You keep saying that, yet its my bed that Blair graces her presence with. Its my name she muffles into the pillow and its my back she embeds her nails into," Chuck said smoothly. "So forgive me if I tell you this is exactly how its supposed to be."
"You seduced her."
If it wasn't for the fact that Nate caught Chuck off guard with knowing the definition of "seduced," he definitely would have laughed.
But he recovered.
"Sure, if you believe it," Chuck said casually. "It would make sense. If it wasn't for the fact that our first night together consisted of Blair stripping her dress for me on my stage and kissing me in the back of my limo."
Nate just shook his head.
"Didn't it strike you as odd," Chuck asked, "that night at Cotillion? You thought you were deflowering your girlfriend for the first time when in fact it had occurred one month prior in the back of a limo? I bet you were easy to fool, too. I bet the entire time she wanted to be on top just to muffle herself in the bed so she didn't call my name out by accident. Did you really delude yourself into thinking that a virgin could be that good? Because trust me when I tell you this, everything she did to you, she had to learn it from somewhere. And you definitely weren't her first."
"And you were," Nate sneered.
"Well I sheathed myself far enough into her to realize that her tightness was definitely due to the fact that I was the first man to touch her," Chuck said with crude cruelty. "And the only man to ever completely please her. Ask her yourself."
"She wanted me," Nate said strongly. "She came up to me at Cotillion and told me she wanted me."
"And what clued you into that?" Chuck asked shortly. "Maybe it was the fact that literally two minutes prior, she was dancing with me. Why do you think she wanted you so badly? What did she have to prove? She wanted to get over me and that was it."
"Did you convince yourself?" Nate asked coolly.
"Fine," Chuck replied. "You want her? You couldn't even possess her when you did have her."
He watched in relish as Nate's face fell.
"She knew about Serena," Chuck said. "You do know that, don't you? She knew about your little crush. And you know how I know? Because every night she would get drunk, come to my room, and beg me to kiss her. Because really, even when she was with you, she wanted me just that much more."
Nate was about to open his mouth with a retort when the bathroom door opened slowly, revealing a shaft of light across the carpet.
"Get out, Nate," she whispered. "You're done."
Blair could dismiss him easier with those words than Chuck's cleverly crafted speeches. The ones he didn't want to say. He wished things hadn't ended up this way, but they had.
And that was it.
Chuck should have known that their friendship was irreparable. No one got over their first girlfriend falling so deeply for someone else. Especially their best friend. Now, they were just another story. Now Nathaniel Archibald just talked about Charles Bass, the guy that used to be his best friend. Now they were just another blue blood line with family feuds and things that didn't matter anymore.
Chuck didn't know how long it had been since he had seen her. He wanted to say days, but he knew it had been longer. Much longer.
He knew this because his rotten heart swelled at that smell.
She was drunk and he didn't care. She was in his door again and that was all that mattered. He couldn't help his breath quicken and his smile quirk at the sight.
He stretched out his arm to her from his position on the edge of his bed. He had been waiting for her. He had always been waiting for her.
"Hey," she purred, their fingertips grazing each other as he pulled her to where she belonged, at his side.
"Hey," he said in appreciation as she had her legs strewn across his lap. She rested her head against his shoulder looking into his eyes.
"Won't you kiss me?" she asked prettily.
"I'll always kiss you," he said, relieved that he could finally say that with truth. Their lips melded together and she pulled him down on his own bed.
"Will you lay with me?"
"Always," he promised again.
This time, it wasn't the literal sense. This time, he could take his own liberties.
This time, he could lay with her.
And then he would lay with her.