A/N: I have an evil beta reader who coerced me into posting this fic which was written while I was half asleep. Mikell, you know I love you really :-p

So the meaning behind this fic is simple. We spend a lot of time creating families for the fabulous foursome, yet how would they handle it. How would four half turtle, half human beings handle all the trials of fatherhood/unclehood, especially when faced with a pmsing teenage daughter/niece. Read on to find out how ;-)

Raph cowered in the shower. It had finally happened. He'd met his match and it terrified him. In fact, in all his thirty-five years he'd never been as scared as he was right now.

The door creaked open. Raph gulped.

"Dude, you in here?" Mikey whispered.

"In the shower." Raph muttered hoarsely.

"Let me in."

"Shhh, keep the noise down would ya? We don't want it to find us."

There was a resounding crash. The turtles jumped, clutching each other.

"What the hell was that?" Raph growled.

Footsteps sounded outside the door. Hushed whispers as the door creaked open.

The shower curtain pulled back.

"ARGH!" Four turtles screamed in unison.

"Geez you guys!" Leo muttered crossly. "How's about a little warning next time?"

"Scootch over!" Don hissed, crawling into the shower with his brothers and cowering.

"Hey! Leave some room for me!" Leo whispered, doing his best to scramble in.

Though with three huge turtles already occupying the small confines of the shower cubicle, you can well imagine this was not an easy task.

"Are they…" Mikey gulped. "Are they gone?"

Leo and Don exchanged glances. "Yeah Mikey." Don said sadly. "They're gone, every last one of them."

Mike sobbed brokenly, leaning against Raph for support. Raph patted his back awkwardly.

"It's ok bro. We'll buy you some new ones, promise."

Mikey sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. "It won't be the same."

He turned, well, tried to, considering he was rather squished, to face Don. "Did they…was it quick?"

"One bite Mikey. That was all it took. One bite and they were gone, it was very quick." Don muttered soothingly.

"Shh! Listen!" Leo hissed pressing himself back against his brothers.

All four turtles cocked their heads.

In the distance, the faint sound of stomping could be heard, gradually coming nearer.

The brothers gulped, sweat breaking out on their foreheads.

The stomping grew louder.

"Well guys…" Don whispered tearfully "…I guess this is it. It's been fun."

"Don, don't talk like that." Leo choked, the fear evident in his voice. "We're in this together till the end, live or die."

"We're brothers." Raph chipped in, attempting to give his purple-banded brother's shoulder a squeeze.

"Till the end." Mikey nodded vigorously.

The door to the bathroom crashed open. The turtles froze, gulping several times. There was silence, yet through the curtain, the four brothers clearly saw the outline of a hand reaching toward them.

"ARGH!" Mikey screamed as the curtain pulled back and they stared at its twisted face.

"What are you four doing in here?" It demanded, glaring at them.

Leo shook with fear. "N…n…nothing. Honest, we were just going over some ninja tactics."

His brothers nodded.

"I don't believe you. You're trying to avoid me aren't you?" It yelled.

"No! Absolutely not. We'd never do that." Don assured it.

Then it started to cry. A high pitched wailing sound that cut through the four heroes, forcing them to press even nearer to the wall, hoping it would open and swallow them.

It grabbed at the shelves lining the bathroom, bottles, soaps, anything it could get its hands on came crashing to the ground. The mugs used to house toothbrushes collided with the wall above the turtles, shattering into pieces.

"Please." Leo pleaded. "There's no need to get so upset."

"UPSET!" The insane creature roared. "You think this is upset?! You don't even want to see upset!"

On and on it raged, hopping from one foot to the other. Its face red, eyes wild.

"Oh God. This really is it isn't it!" Mikey exclaimed, fear causing him to hiccup.

"Yeah Mikey…" Don gulped, grasping his brother's hand "…yeah I think it is."

"Enough of this!" Came a stern voice.

The noise stopped as suddenly as it started. The brothers opened their eyes cautiously to find the wild-eyed creature staring at their father, nose running.

They breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God! Splinter would save them.

The old rat glared at the creature crossly.

"The sitting room is an absolute mess young lady! Not too mention you have destroyed our coffee table!"

The creature hiccupped quietly.

"Michelangelo, kindly remove yourself from the shower and call Miss O'Neill! Apparently we require more chocolate!" Splinter glared, turning on his heel to retrieve the vacuum cleaner.

Mikey gulped. His beloved sweeties, gone, just like that.

The insane creature suddenly turned on a terrified Raph. "No one loves me!" It yelled, running out the room.

A door somewhere in the lair slammed shut. There was a moment's pause. Wailing could be heard coming from somewhere in the lair.

The brothers sigh. They'd survived this round.

Mikey scrambled out the shower, turning to glare at his red-banded brother.

"You just had to have kids, didn't you Raph!" He threw his arms in the air, storming out the bathroom. Leo and Don followed on shaking legs, leaving Raph clutching his head.

He heard his daughter wail in her room, the sound tearing at his heart.

"Only four more days to go." He muttered.

He stood wearily, heading toward her room. Maybe next month he could take a holiday abroad till it was over.