Summary: During Breaking Dawn, Bella is pregnant after the honey moon on Isle Esme. Edward keeps telling her that she will survive, but she has doubts that she's going to make it through the birth because she feels so weak. Just in case she dies, she writes each member of her family a letter of goodbye.
Please remember: Bella was adamant that her child was a boy, even though we all know that her child was a girl, and is in fact called Renesmee instead of Edward Jacob. Also, if you are familiar with my works, you should know that I prefer to write canon stories that fit into the original storyline. If you have trouble placing this story, imagine that it takes place during Book 2: Jacob's Point of View, okay? Any questions, please do not hesitate to ask me.
I hope you enjoy this story. Each chapter will basically be a letter.
Of course, I do not own Twilight; Stephenie Meyer does.
I have no idea how I am supposed to write this letter. But I have to. I've got to. Just in case. Edward tells me I am not going to die, but I can't be sure and neither can you. I know how frustrated you are about that. Don't hold it against yourself, Alice. I'm certainly not! I know you feel particularly responsible for the well-being of the family, but you cannot for see everything. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Of course, I want to live, but not at the price of my little nudger. You understand, surely, Alice?
But you don't understand how hard this letter is to write. It's taken me a very long time for me to persuade Rosalie to give me some time alone to write it – I do not want an audience when I say my goodbyes. I had to start with yours. Yours is one of the hardest to write, Alice, do you know that? Do you know how much I love you? Not just as a sister, but as a best friend too?
Remember the time you had to leave… dammit, I've already started crying! I'm not going to last long at all! But do you remember? Of course you do. I forget you're all vampires sometimes. I forget sometimes that I don't fit in – hopefully not for long. Well anyway, I lost Edward that day that he left. But what was worse was that I had lost my best friend too. I couldn't even talk about it with my best friend. I lost the love of my life, my sister and my best friend. I'm sorry for bringing that up, and I don't want to make you feel bad, I'm just telling you. After all, I don't know how long is left and I'd hate for my time to run out before I was done.
My pregnancy is… strange. But it's a pregnancy! I never wanted children up until I felt my little nudger inside of me, and then I did. Just like that. My baby is a miracle and I love him. I love my baby. I could never abort him like Edward wants to, to save me. If my life if what I have to give to save my baby's, I will.
Alice, you and Edward have the better bond out of all his siblings, you really do. I know how much he loves you, even though you do annoy him sometimes. I need you to promise me, Alice, that you'll look after him… if anything happens. You'll look after him when I can't? Promise me, Alice, please? All I can think about at the moment is about the last time. If I die, what will he do? You have got to make him see sense! If my pregnancy goes well, we don't have to worry. If it goes wrong, then I shall die and my baby shall live. Edward has to live for our baby, Alice. You understand? Even if the pregnancy goes badly, and we both die, keep Edward living and 'breathing', please?
I didn't realise until now that this is why I had to write yours first - if I have written down the most important plea of all, then I can write the others with a fairly straight head. Fairly. I don't think anyone writing goodbye notes can be called mentally stable, but when have I ever been?
I'm sorry, Alice, for effectively putting my dying wishes on your shoulders, but I trust you Alice. I always have. I trust you with my life, and more importantly, I trust you with Edward's.
I also want to thank you, Alice. I want to thank you for being everything I needed in you. You gave me a wedding, and I realise now how important that was until now. If I die, I die a married woman with a husband. Thank you for organising everything, and making it so easy for me. You saw how nervous I was and how much I was dreading it. You know attention isn't my thing! It was truly perfect - the lights, the dress, the music, the food. You truly are a wonderful organiser and you know me so well.
And my honeymoon? Well, you definately helped there. I remember thinking 'what the hell has she packed' when I opened up my suitcase - lingerie! It came in handy though! Oh god, I'm blushing and crying! My cheeks are beginning to sting, actually. You obviously knew it came in handy. I came back pregnant for gods sake.
Thank you for helping Charlie and me after the James incident. He appreciated it and so did I. You know he loves you, don't you? Charlie loves you like his second daughter. Look after him too, if things go wrong.
This letter is a terrible goodbye. All I've done is be selfish and asking things of you. But that truly is because I trust you so much, and I know how strong you are. You are such a wonderful person, and when I'm gone, still be as happy as you are now. Dance and sing and love exactly the same as now because you are such a great sister and friend.
The way you laugh, the way you giggle, the way you shout at me, moan at me when I don't dress 'properly' according to you. I love the way you were always on my side instead of Edward's, I love the way that you loved me. I will always remember you. If you ever, and I'm sorry for writing your goodbye for you now, but if you are ever unfortunate enough to stop breathing, I'll be waiting. I'll be saving a space for my sister.
I love you, Alice, forever and always.
Just in case.
I cried whilst writing this! I had to stop for a minute so I could read the screen again. Oh, how silly of me!
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