Disclaimer: Sometimes I wish I owned IZ so that I could output merchandise that wasn't all GIR-based and some stuff I've designed. Then I wake up.


Both Zim and Dib slowly entered their labs, their purposes clear but their motivation lacking. Zim sighed deeply, taking in the smell of silicon and chemicals and then turned to the large computer screen in front of him, "Computer, create antidote to DNA sequence Alpha. And call me when it's done…"

[WHY WOULD THAT BE?] The computer asked, its monotone drawl just as snarky as ever.

"Is it a computer's business to question its master?" Zim didn't seem to have the energy to argue. "Just do it."


Zim trudged out of the room and went up to the roof of his base and lay down to watch the clouds. I wish this moment could last forever… he thought, but I suppose all good things must come to an end. But why is this a good thing?! I get to be me again! A proud Irken Elite! So why is it that I am moping around as if the Tallest exiled me to an unknown planet in the middle of nowhere?! He closed his eyes and let the sun's light burn negative on the back of his eyelids, I think I'm sick… He drifted off to sleep just as confused as when he started.


Meanwhile, Dib stared at his stubby Irken claws sadly, "Why am I so sad to be leaving this filthy alien form behind?!" his odd habit of talking to himself had not diminished, "I mean, no more freaky three-claw, no more allergic reactions, no more intense cravings for sugar, no more cumbersome antennae, and no more life-sustaining PAK! I should be happy to be rid of these things, so why am I so freakin upset?! Is it that I've come to enjoy all the knowledge I have now?! Is it the way I can sense every little movement around me?! Is it the fact that now I hold more power in my left antennae than even Gaz?! I don't get it!!!" He sighed and beat his head against his bedroom wall. "So much for scientists are detached from emotions what a crock…" Then he leaned up against his closet door and listened to the sounds of his neighborhood, every last one as clear as if he was near them. "What is wrong with me?"


The two of them met outside of the Skool in the woods where Dwicky jumped ship (A/N: "Vindicated"). Zim stepped forward, casting a shadow across the leaves on the ground. "Here Dib, your cure…" he tossed the boy a small vial filled with a colorless liquid, "Now your part of the bargain."

Dib smiled, his predatory, zipper-like teeth glinting in the filtered light, "Here—" he tossed Zim a small vial filled with a green-tinted fluid, "I hope you brought your PAK, I wouldn't want you dying on me."

"Does the Dib actually care for Zim?" He smirked.

"No, I just want to have a live alien to show everyone when the time is right." Then they both downed the contents of the vials, Dib wincing at the water-based antidote as it burned the roof of his mouth. Then the fast-acting serums took hold.

Both of them dropped to the ground, their bodies writhing in the damp forest earth, their struggling moans loud enough to disturb the local wildlife. Zim's skin changed shades, from pale ivory with a hint of a tan, to a sickly yellow, to a horrid green, to the chartreuse that it normally was. His hair fell out in sheets and the cowlicks hardened and reformed his antennae. His hands changed back to the normal three-fingered Irken claws and his irises engulfed his eyes as they swelled to bug-like orbs. Then the PAK on the floor next to him extended tentacles outward and latched on to his back and reinitialized his breathing and heart which had stopped in the process.

Likewise, Dib was experiencing the change in reverse, his skin lightening to its normal pale hue, his antennae fleshing out to become his dark curved haircut, his claws changing back to hands, and his orbs shrank to his irises, his pupils rapidly trying to focus to no avail without his glasses. The last thing to go was the PAK and that seemed to throw him off the most. Earlier, the change had been slow and bearable and had occurred in his sleep. But since this one was instantaneous and he was awake during the entire time, the loss of what once was his second brain nearly killed him because he was so used to using it to do the useless stuff like breathing and keeping his heart going.

When the change was over, they both stood up and staggered slightly. Zim's new height changed the way the Irken saw the world and it changed his equilibrium so he was pretty dizzy. Dib stood up and simply cradled his PAK to his chest and sighed. Zim turned toward Dib, "Finally Dib-stink! Now I am Irken once again and now I can resume my goal of taking over the planet!" He grinned, his teeth gleaming wickedly, "But first, I must report to my Tallest!" He dashed off, securing his wig and placing his contacts on his eyes, not even noticing he was still wearing Dib's clothes. Dib just watched him run off. Then, he sat down, clutching the Irken technology to his chest and weeping for the loss of what was once very much like a limb and for almost no apparent reason at all.


Zim beamed his message up to the Massive, "My Tallest!!!!"

Red and Purple looked surprised at the once diminutive Invader, "Zim?!!!! How-how did you get that tall?" Red stuttered, so shocked he dropped his Irken Fun Dip.

"Long story, so, here I am, safe and sound!" Zim smiled triumphantly.

Purple said something unintelligible to Red and Red nodded his head, "Hey um, Zim?"

"Yes my Tallest?"

"Um…well…it seems since your sudden growth-spurt you are now taller than us so we feel it is our duty as the Tallest Irkens to tell you something important about your mission." Purple looked at Red for support.

"Zim…your mission is a lie."

Zim paused, the remark peaking his interest, his antennae perking up, "Eh? What was that?"

"We told you to go to this planet to get you out of our way. You destroy everything you touch and you've killed off two Tallest! There was no way we could afford to keep you around for fear that we might be the next victims of your incredible destructiveness." Red kept a calm level tone. "So we sent you to a planet we weren't sure even existed with a robot that we hoped would destroy you so that you couldn't ruin this experience for us."

"So I've been living a lie?" Zim stared both of the leaders in the eyes which made them shiver. "I don't have to destroy the Earth and wipe out its inhabitants?"

"No. In fact, don't call us ever again. Now that you're unofficially Tallest, we're kinda hoping you'll do yourself in." Purple's trademark eyes narrowed as he tried to read the ex-Invader's emotions.

There was a pause and then, "Okay." Then the transmission was cut by Zim leaving two very confused and very incompetent leaders rather freaked out. Zim on the other hand started on a little project that he just made up.


The next day at Skool, Dib trudged up to Mrs. Bitters' room and wearily sat down at his desk. A shadow fell over him and a familiar voice called to him, "Hello Dib."

He looked up to see an ivory-skinned child who's magenta eyes glittered maliciously. "Zim?!!!"

"Who else would it be foolish human?" the ex-Invader grinned, his perfect white teeth somewhat menacing. "Some smelly new child?"

"B-but…your mission…your goal?!" Dib couldn't seem to find the words he was looking for. "Why?" he settled on.

"It was a lie, there is no mission." Zim looked wistful and nothing more. "They told me never to call them and that I was no longer an Invader or even part of the Irken Empire." He shrugged, "Whatever, I can cope."

"Why would you do this?"

"Oh, this?" Zim looked down at himself in mock surprise, "I like being a meat-sack. It's interesting and I think, if Zim is going to live among humans for the rest of his life-cycle, why not live it as a human."

The rest of the class they exchanged stares, never breaking eye-contact once, and unspoken challenge issued; Dib simply absorbed all the could of Zim's new look and tried to figure out why he really did it. Lunch came and Zim walked over to the table with Dib and Gaz, "May I sit here?"

"Why?" Gaz didn't look up from her piggy-slaying, "It's not like you eat the food anyways…" Zim sat anyways and began munching away.

"Do not think this means we are friends Dib-monkey," Zim sneered though a mouthful of what was said to be chili. "It just means we are no longer enemies."

"Shall we call it acquaintances then?" Dib smiled, offering the human his hand.

"If you insist…" Zim shook it and then went back to eating his 'chili'.


Later, deep inside the bowels of the Membrane residence a small boy sobbed as he grasped a small, round object to his chest. Being human hurts, but being alive hurts so much more… He smiled grimly, I supposed I should get used to this pain then, even with Zim as an acquaintance. Life's not gonna be any easier…So buck up Dib—go explore the far reaches of life! And try to make friends along the way! He put the piece of alien tech down and walked away, shutting his door behind him. They both had made their choices and the world went on turning unaffected by the changes they had undergone.


A/N: HAH! It ended out more of a ZADF!!!! Sorry…Wow, I can't believe it ended that quickly…when I started, I intended it to be this ridiculously long story composed of three awesome and long parts. Instead I wound up with a six-chapter trilogy. Maybe I should've just left it as one big story…ah well, it's finite and that is that. Many thanks to all the people out there who read this and many more to the people who reviewed, you always make me smile! I hope I don't disappoint you all! Till next time!