Before He Whispered Her Name

Summary: The Cullen family left Forks after the tragic birthday party. With Edward hearing the news of his beloveds supposed death, he heads to Italy in hopes the Royal family will end his life. Little did he know that his actions were going to change his entire family's lives. With Edward and Alice no longer around, the rest of the family is forced to help the Volturi. Now, Jasper is back in his home town and runs into none other than the Isabella Swan. This is Jasper's story before and up to the point of reconnecting with Bella.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Twilight Saga!

Warning: There will be strong language, mentions of rape, self-harm and violence.

Chapter Five – Life as a Human: Year Two 'Understanding Edward'

Previously:"Is there anything we can do about this? Is it Casius messing with us? Like using his gift to manipulate us to think these things?" I asked.

"No Jasper. These things are really happening to us. I just pray to god that this shit ends when we get out of this place."

"I agree."

We have been out of Italy for nearly three months now. All of my things that were left in our homes from all over, including Forks, were sent to our place in Colorado. As of now, I was living with Peter and Charlotte. Carlisle and Esme wanted to return to go up to Alaska and see if they could find some photos from the Denali's. They were both pretty torn up about losing their family members. Sure, it hurt me as well to lose such close friends as them but I wasn't going to mope around because of it. Call me an asshole for saying that, which Rosalie did; though she wasn't one of the people that was always harassed verbally and sexually every time she walked into their home. I swear those girl would have tried to fuck anything with a dick. Carlisle even had his moments of discomfort with those women.

Back to the living arrangements.. yeah. I don't think that living with any of the couples was a good idea. Of course since becoming human, Rosalie has been trying to get pregnant. I swear to god Emmett has the stamina of a fucking cheetah. They had been going at it about four times a day and at night, it was pointless to try and sleep when we were still in Italy. Rosalie was always a loud girl when it came to her intimate times with Emmett but the castle's stone walls made everything so much louder. Honestly, it was ridiculous how often they went at it. I had, at first, moved in with the two of them. I lasted only a week of sleepless nights before I called Peter and told him to fix up that guest room of his.

Though it wasn't much better here. Currently I was sitting in a small bar on the outskirts of the town because I couldn't handle hearing my sister screaming 'you like me riding you cowboy?'. That was my breaking point tonight. And the reason for my drinking.

I hadn't really drank much since I was changed back. A few beers now and again with Peter. I had a couple glasses of scotch with Carlisle in his study when we first got back home. Though when I was in the army I was hardly one to drink. The guys in my unit would always throw comments my way about me being a sissy and unable to hold my whiskey. That wasn't it. I just didn't drink. My uncle was a drunk and I got to see the full affect of it when he would burst into our house at night and throw a screaming fit about how my Aunt May was worthless. He broke things. And it ended bad when daddy had to physically throw him out when he got a little to rough around us kids.

I just didn't want to be like him.

Yet here I sit, a glass of whiskey in my hand and a bowl of stale nuts sitting on the bar in front of me. The lady behind the bar has been fluttering her eyelashes at me since I sat down here and I don't have any interest in her fake orange tan and makeup caked face. Her bottle blond hair was so full of hair spray that I don't even think she had any clips or pins in it; I think it was holding up in that giant bump all by itself. She looked like one of those Hawaiian barbie dolls except barbie is plastic and this girl was just pathetically trying to be.

I knew I shouldn't have looked up again, because Miss Barbie caught my eye and pulled her cut-up t-shirt down making her obviously fake breasts practically pop out of her top. Sighing, I downed the rest of my drink and dug into my back pocket for my wallet. After fishing out a couple twenties, I placed them on the bar and headed for the door. I kept my eyes on my feet as I walked only turning once I was half way out the door to see Miss Barbie pout her hot pink lips at me.


"You should get out more son." Carlisle's voice rang through the speaker, "Have you thought about dating?"

I sighed, rubbing my hands through my hair and over my face. This was what he asked me every time he called and every time I answered the same way. "I'm not ready to date yet, Carlisle."

Carlisle gave a weird protesting noise from the back of his throat. It was almost a whining sound. "I know, but I just hate to know that you are alone. And before you go and tell me that you have plenty of company, I understand but what I am talking about is intimate company."

"Carlisle.. dad. I just. God, I have been going out with Peter and Charlotte to the bars and clubs and I have tried to find someone to keep me company even for a night but I just cant do it." I grunted out. He knew I wasn't the type of person to want a one nightstand but I was at least trying to do it for the family.

"I am just trying to help you son. You are far too lonely and you know how your mind can get when you are alone," he was trying to make me understand where he was coming from. I understood I just couldn't do that sort of thing. "There is an event coming up next weekend. I have tickets for the entire family to come and I was hoping you would join us."

Not this... every event that a hospital held was like a dating game Esme would play with Edward. He was forced into dancing with the girls because she hated to see him all by himself while everyone else had someone. It was that moment that I finally understood why Edward always acted the way he did. He was alone. In a house full of mated couples. He had no one until he found Bella. Now, I was the one that was alone.

"Uh..." I drug the sound out. "I think I need to get away for a bit. Maybe I should head to my home in Texas and see if I can start to fix the place up a bit. Maybe the boxes of photos are still in the crawl space, you know I had wanted to go get them before we left Forks but the sun was always too much of a problem."

Carlisle sighed on the other end of the line. "Of course, son. We all know you've wanted to do that for sometime now. I understand, take all the time you need."

"Thanks dad." I nodded even though he couldn't see me.

"Be safe."

I heard him move in his leather chair, getting ready to press the button to hang up. "Wait!" I shouted suddenly feeling like I really needed to let him know I do care.

"Yes, Jasper?"

"Could you um, tell mom I love her?"

"Of course. Good night, son."

"Night dad."

AN: I'm not completely back yet. I don't know when I will be updating again but I just wanted to give this to you guys after all of the positive feedback you guys gave me.

I just want to say thanks to everyone that is supporting me and for all of the encouraging messages that I received. They have helped me. There are still things I am dealing with. My friend that passed away on Friday afternoon has no family but a few close friends and his brother, the brother is in prison and doesn't know if he can attend the funeral service yet. My friend's brother needs some prayer right now so if any of you could do so, it would be much appreciated. And for people who asked, the OD was accidental.

Well, you all know what to do now. Reviews make me smile so tell me what you think.

XoXo - Jenn