A/N: this is supposed to be the "epilogue", but it's just a link to "Goodbyes", as per when Jesse disappears and Jim's thoughts about it..... sort of..... GAH! WHATEVER! you can read it, but i can't say it's my favorite chapter..... =_=
SIDE NOTE 1: i did notice that Jim didn't look depressed about Jesse's disappearance
SIDE NOTE 2: my goodbyes is so depressing..... DON'T READ IT!!! T^T
SIDE NOTE 3: go to YouTube and search for "Jim X Johan - Hold Me" it'll have "re-uploaded" next to it....
SIDE NOTE 4: ...... i think the songs perfect..... hence it's at the bottom XD
He was walking down the same path. He'd been down this path so many times with him. But this time, it was different.
He stopped and turned around, looking up. There, high above the trees, a full, beautiful moon shone it's bright face happily upon the dirt path and the sole person standing alone. It didn't realize that he was absolutely miserable.
He quickly touched his chest, right over his heart. He'd heard that last cry.
His eyes closed.
'Jim! Jim! Somebody! Help! It's hurting me! It won't let go! Help me!'
Jim froze mid-step. He turned around. Shirley made a groan, but he still faced the bright light. Jesse was in pain!
He saw Jaden and Marcel returning, but not Jesse.
He watched the sky grow bright and the clouds finally part. The wind ceased blowing and everything felt weightless.
"JESSE!" Jim called, reaching towards the light before something caught him just behind the shoulder blades. It yanked him hard upwards and his head snapped down, knocking him out, but he heard Jesse respond.
'Jim, help me! It's hurting me! I don't want it! Make it stop! It says I belong here! I've done something wrong! It's wrong! Help me! Tell me it's wrong!'
Jim quickly shook it off and started walking again.
It was hard to imagine it, but he'd walked this path with Jesse when it was warm out. There was something much colder about this walk, however. It was eating away at Jim's heart and his bones. He didn't want to go anywhere, he wanted to stop and die right were he stood.
Why should he keep on living? Why shouldn't Jesse be allowed a second chance? Why was Jesse the one hurt?
He turned to Atticus and Alexis. Everyone had left Jim alone, knowing full-well that he was still upset. "Yes?"
Alexis touched his arm. "I know it hurts, but please, don't be like this." She gave him a sad smile. "Atticus showed me something that I think you should see."
She held out her Student ComLink.
Jesse was smiling as he held the camera. She hit the play button.
"HEY! Ya'll're gonna miss me when I'm gone, so, I made ya'll somethin'!" Jesse's face blurred and it re-focused.
Jaden was sleeping under a tree. Jesse was filming him.
"This is ya'll, Jaden. Ya'll look funny."
Jaden faded to Axel and Adrian, dueling.
"ACK! They're gonna blow us all ta bits one day. I swear it. Kinda." Jesse's hand shook as the blast from Adrian's destroyed monster caused. "Nah, I think they'd just bow us all off cliffs, actually."
The camera darkened.
"What's that, mate?"
"No! Don't look!"
Jim remembered that.
Suddenly, the camera brightened. Jim was swimming with Shirley in the pool with Jaden and his friends.
"Secret filming," Jesse whispered from behind the lense. "Jim and Shirley are inseparable! Of course, Hasselberry likes Jim now. After their little duel. Ah, and there's Syrus, Chazz, and.... how the heck can he surf?!"
Atticus was surfing in another pool. The water was running over a surface and he was just surfing.
The camera flashed white and then Jesse appeared, sleeping on the floor. He blinked and gasped.
"Hey! No! Give it back, Alexis!"
"Ah! Jesse! Look how cute he is early in the morning."
Jesse laughed. "Ah, that's what you want? Hey, c'mon, girl! I just wanna do somethin' for them."
"Go film Jim. He's still sleeping outside."
Jesse's laughter was sweet and playful. "Fine, just give it back."
There was a blur and then Jesse was sitting at the beach.
"Hey, I know it's short, but I kinda didn't wanna bore ya. Any-who! I jus' wanna let ya'll know I'm still here! I got lots to tell ya'll! But it'll have ta wait 'til I leave."
Alexis touched the stop button.
Jim sighed. It was refreshing to know that there were pieces of Jesse still lingering around. He quickly cleared his throat. "Thanks."
"No problem. Want to be alone?"
Jim shook his head. "I want someone to talk to, mate. I'd like to just hear Jesse again."
"Then here. Jesse recorded everything with his ComLink. I didn't look at all the footage. You should take the time to look it over."
Alexis and Atticus let Jim walk his own pace.
Jim watched everything Jesse had recorded of him.
Jim was sleeping under a tree. Jim was studying some textbooks about fossils and ancient cultures. Jim was playing with Shirley. Jim was just walking ahead of Jesse.
But everything showed Jim just what Jesse loved. In each clip, Jesse zoomed in on Jim's face when he was smiling or showed interest. It was as if Jesse loved Jim's smile more than his other features. Until Jim saw one last clip with his name on it.
Jim was sleeping in his bedroom, on the floor beside Shirley. His hand was resting on Shirley's neck. Jesse spoke from behind the camera again.
"If only you knew that I love you. It's not your face, it's your soul. It's a spirit that won't die. I think it's the most attractive thing about you. Too bad Shirley'll bite my hand off. Ah, ya'll're too cute."
Jesse reached down and gently took Jim's hat off and set it beside him. His hand brushed hair aside, revealing more of the bandage.
"Can you trust me enough not to be afraid of your scared eye? I don't care. It's a part of Jim. Jesse will always love Jim."
He snapped the ComLink closed. He couldn't watch Jesse's film anymore. He pocketed the thing and started towards the Slifer dorms. He'd agreed, almost a week prior, to try and help Jaden lighten up. He had to try.
It was the closest he could get to helping Jesse. Jesse would want Jaden to smile and be happy again. Jesse would pull a stupid trick to get Jaden to laugh or smile. Jesse would've done a lot of things....
Jim reached the dorms and stopped. Aster was leaning on the wall, a small stereo on the floor beside him. It was playing a song Jesse used to love....
"...maybe we don't need this, Standing face to face, Enemies at war we build defenses, And secret hiding places,
"I might need you to hold me tonight, I might need you to say it's alright, I might need you to make the first stand, Coz tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man...."
Jim smiled to himself. Jesse used to dance with Jim when this song played. He didn't know the artist, but he knew the song.
"Hold me," he whispered, touching his elbow where Jesse would often snuggle into. "Hm." He felt better. He knew what Jesse wanted. Jesse wouldn't want anyone to shed a tear over him. But Jim had a sudden gut feeling that Jesse was still alive, somewhere out there.
He sighed and picked up the stereo. That's what he'd wanted.
'Make 'em smile, kay? I dun wanna have sad friends. Make 'em happy, Aster, Atticus. Make 'em happy.'
"Happy's hard, Jesse Anderson."