AN: OH MY GOSH I finally finished it! It's the 30 sentence challenge (that can be found on Lady Emzebel's profile) but I decided to do mini-drabbles instead of single sentences, since I needed to let out all the ideas I'm spilling over with.
And... most of these have Robin in it, as you can probably tell from the title. Yes, I am quite biased like that.
It was Usopp's arrogance and tendency to exaggerate things that caused the other pirate crew to attack them out of nowhere. Obviously.
"What the heck did you say to them?!" Nami screamed, blocking a pirate's sword with her Climatact.
"Nothing! I just told them that our crew could kick their sissy asses any day and… oh." Usopp realized. He spun around and fired several exploding pellets into a crowd of roaring men that resembled bears more than humans.
"Someday you're going to get us killed, you big-headed idiot!" Nami shouted, frying a pirate with a Thunderbolt Tempo. She turned and smacked Usopp across the face with her Climatact before turning
again to fight off more attackers.
Eh, it didn't matter much anyways since they would obviously win the fight.
"You'll die! You'll die before you can even cry out in pain, you wretched little brat!" a man howled with glee.
"The Marines will impale you and display your head on a bloody stake for all to see!" a woman screeched.
"And then the crows will eat your innards and leave your corpse to rot!" another man added. The crowd advanced on the trembling girl, their bloody fingers reaching and-
Robin woke up in a sweat, sitting upright. She shuddered and hugged herself tight even though the room was warm.
"Robin? Are you okay?" Nami murmured sleepily from the bed beside hers.
"…I'm fine." Robin smiled. She rested her head back on the pillow and went back to sleep, listening to Nami's soft breathing. There wasn't any reason to be scared anymore. Not anymore.
"What the hell are you doing?" Sanji wrinkled his nose, staring at Zoro in horror.
"Saving money." Zoro grunted back, pouring another bottle of whiskey into the large metal tub.
"Nami-san's words…" Sanji sighed dreamily.
"Oi. Don't associate that witch with me. I'm sick of spending what little money I have left on booze that isn't even good. So I'm making my own." Zoro said, mixing the smelly concoction with a large fork (of all things). He leaned down and slurped some up like a dog. "Hm. Needs more wine."
"H-hey! That wine is expensive! You shitty moron! Put something else in your shitty marimo moonshine!" Sanji cried, dashing forward as Zoro began to tilt the bottle.
Oops. Too late.
Robin opened a book to find there was a clean hole going all the way through. Puzzled, she held it up to her face and looked in. There was a little green worm curled up inside the tunnel it had no doubt created, the tip of its tail (or was it its head) waving back and forth.
Carefully, Robin picked the worm out with a pair of tweezers and buried it in her flowerbed. Then she frowned.
That book was pretty rare and the worm had ruined it. She considered digging it up and throwing it overboard but she shook her head. It wasn't worth fussing over, anyways.
But still, the book was nearly priceless…
Chopper stared intently at Luffy's still face, which looked unnatural without a toothy grin gracing it. The reindeer sniffled and gingerly poked Luffy's nose with a hoof. Luffy twitched and slowly opened his eyes.
"M-meat…" he hoarsely whispered.
Chopper sighed in relief. Luffy would survive.
Wait… what was he saying? Luffy always came through, no matter what.
Franky examined himself in a reflective piece of metal, rubbing his chin this way and that.
"Whatcha doin, Franky?" Usopp asked, peering over his shoulder.
"You think I should build myself a beard, Longnose-bro?" Franky asked, staring at his butt-butt chin intently.
Usopp burst out laughing. "Ha! HahaHAAAH! No way! You'd look like a freaking bear if you did! A BLUE BEAR!"
Franky pondered over this for a minute. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Then it's decided. I'm going to make myself a beard!"
After all, everyone knew that bears were super.
Zoro scratched his head awkwardly. A legion of arms and hands were cleaning up the mess- his mess (a result of a slippery deck, an armful of sake bottles and several jars of spices). Robin calmly flipped a page in her book as she took care of the spilled food and shards.
"Eh… thanks, Robin." Zoro muttered, stepping aside to let an arm sweep up some broken glass.
Robin looked up, her eyes twinkling. "You're quite welcome, Swordsman-san."
And Zoro got a feeling that Nami was involved, somehow.
"Get out! Get out, you perverts!"
"Sheez, what's his shitty problem?" Sanji glared back at the floral shop entrance that they were forced out of.
"Perhaps he has a "stick up his ass" as I have heard Zoro-san phrase once." Brook said, rubbing the back of his neck vertebrae.
"It was your fault." Sanji suddenly said. "I was being gentlemanly to the women, then you came up and asked for their shitty panties!"
"No. No." Brook chuckled. "I believe you were invading the women's privacy, and I was merely asking for the slightest glimpse, nothing more."
Sanji sighed. "It doesn't matter whose fault it is, you shitty skeleton. We aren't welcome there anymore. And I was planning to buy some bouquets for Nami-swan and Robin-chwan!"
Brook glanced across the street. "How about some lingerie- OOF!"
"PERVERT!" Sanji roared, stamping on Brook's back.
"Woosh!" Luffy exhaled, panting. He flopped down on the ground and grinned at Usopp. "That was a fun race!"
"And I totally won, of course." Usopp grinned.
"EH? You're not even tired?!" Luffy's jaw dropped.
"Oh ho ho ho! Of course not! The Great Captain Usopp has the endurance of a rhino! A falcon! A cheetah!"
"WOW! THAT'S SO COOL!" Luffy's eyes sparkled. "How do you do that?"
Usopp patted the top of Luffy's head. "Lots of running, my friend. Lots, and lots of running."
"Please remind me how you convinced me to help you." Robin said.
"Because you're my onee-sama, and onee-samas always help out their little sisters!" Nami said perkily.
"Of course…" Robin sighed. She crossed her arms and Nami pulled out her Climatact.
"Alright, if you don't want to get hurt, give us a hundred million beri!" Nami shouted. Everyone in the bank stopped to gape at them. The people didn't react until arms started sprouting everywhere, scaring them into dropping down to the floor. Nami strode up to a teller and held out the sack, which immediately began to fill with coins and paper notes.
After all, they were pirates. And pirates stole things.
"ZOROOOOO!" Luffy shouted. Zoro opened one eye and shifted over to the side a split second before Luffy bulleted into the mast, bouncing off and crashing into the stairs. Luffy pulled himself up and shook dust out of his hair. He turned around, grinning.
"ZOROOOOO!" Luffy shouted again, rocketing forward. Zoro scooted over again, letting Luffy bounce off of the mast.
"I could do this all day," Zoro thought as he scooted over.
"Robin-chwaaan~!" Sanji twirled up to the observation deck, holding a folded up blanket and a mug of coffee in each hand. "I brought you some things to keep you warm during your watch shift!"
"Oh, thank you Cook-san." Robin smiled, accepting the coffee and blanket. She set the mug down to drape the blanket around her shoulders.
"If that blanket isn't warm enough, I'd be more than happy to share my own body heat…" Sanji grinned goofily, trying to control the blood rushing to his head.
Robin laughed gently. "No, that's quite alright."
"Are you sure?"
"Well… let me know if you change your mind!" Sanji smiled hopefully, climbing down the ladder. "Because I'm sure that blanket is really thin."
Robin smiled and shook her head. He really was too optimistic for his own good.
"CHOPPER!" Zoro bellowed as he walked into the kitchen. He ran forward, ignoring glass crunching beneath his feet and picked up the dazed reindeer by his forelegs.
"Wooo… Zoro… you're head… it's like graaaaass." Chopper giggled, his head nodding back and forth.
Zoro tried not to roar out in anger as he went outside, clutching the drunk doctor under one arm.
"Alright, who's the damn moron who put my rum by Chopper's fizzy lemonade?!?"
"Oooh, look!" Usopp pointed up to the night sky, nudging Brook. "There's the constellation that resembles the Great Captain Usopp doing jumping jacks! And that constellation is the Great Captain Usopp kicking a snake! And that constellation looks like the Great Captain Usopp holding up his mighty staff of the Usopp Pirates!"
"How interesting." Brook smiled, his empty eye sockets trained up to the star-filled sky.
"And that comet over there is the Great Captain Usopp's Flaming Rush Star!"
"No. It's not." Brook shook his head.
"Eh?" Usopp glanced at Brook. "Then what is it?"
"That is a comet called the Afro X9B. I claimed it as my own three nights ago."
Usopp blinked at Brook. "O-okay. Then that comet is mine, right?"
Usopp smiled in relief and resumed naming "his" constellations, careful to avoid pointing out Afro X9B.
"The embodiment of courage…" Sanji muttered, running a finger lightly over the painting of Sogeking he had found in the back of the storage room.
"Hm? Oh, Sanji, what are you doing here?" Usopp appeared in the doorway, unaware of the painting in Sanji's hands.
"…Nothing. Just thinking about courage." Sanji said, softly putting the painting down.
"Well, I don't need to think about courage, because I already have it!" Usopp thumped his chest, unaware of what he had really said.
"You sure do, Usopp. You sure do." Sanji smiled vaguely.
Robin watched in amusement as Zoro spill sake on Sanji's new shirt, Sanji attempt to impale him with a skis kebab, Nami jump up to punch both of them, Chopper crawl under the table and tipping it over as he forgot he was still in Heavy Point, Usopp's hot drink splash on Luffy, Luffy flail in pain and accidently whack Brook, Brook's skull fly off his shoulders, Franky step up to attempt to help, Nami kick Franky in the shin, Sanji stick a toothpick in Zoro's arm, Zoro punch Sanji in the gut, Franky jam Brook's skull on his shoulders the wrong way, Chopper turn into Guard Point, Usopp join Chopper under the table, Franky shout at Nami, Nami shout at Sanji, Sanji cry, Zoro laugh, Luffy laugh, Sanji yell, Brook laugh, Franky sigh, Chopper shriek, Usopp shriek, and all of hell break loose.
Several minutes later, Robin sat calmly in the middle of a huge mess, trying not to laugh and her nakama scattered around her, muttering curses at each other.
Robin always got the best seats in the comedy house. That was for sure.
"Hey, Robin, what languages are your attacks in?" Nami asked, looking up from the map she was working on.
"Spanish and French." Robin answered.
"Oh." Nami resumed to drawing the island. After a long silence, she looked up again.
"What countries are those languages from?"
Much to Nami's surprise, Robin seemed baffled by the question. "Honestly, I don't know, Navigator-san."*
Very strange indeed.
"Oi, Sanji." Usopp poked the cook's back.
"What?" Sanji flipped the pancake he was making.
"You ever think about piercing your eyebrow?"
The pancake flew up into the air and landed on Usopp's head, making him shriek. Sanji grabbed the front of his shirt, growling.
"What, so it looks like a shitty keychain? I might as well pierce my lips and nose!"
"Coffee fanatic." Franky coughed as he passed by Robin pouring said beverage into a mug.
"Cola fanatic." Robin calmly answered. Franky paused and grinned.
"Touché, Nico Robin. Touché." Franky nodded in approval.
Luffy snickered under his breath, tip-toeing into Nami and Robin's cabin. He tried his best not to knock over the lamp, or the table, or the bookshelf, or anything else that happened to be in his way. Still giggling slightly, he reached their desk and began rummaging around the papers.
"Hah!" Luffy held up a thin, leather-bound book triumphantly. On the cover were large bolded letters spelling out 'NAMI'S DIARY DO NOT READ'. Luffy eagerly opened the book. Much to his surprise, the
pages were all empty except for a small message at the bottom of the first page reading, 'Luffy, you're an idiot'.
A fist suddenly connected with the back of his head, sending Luffy flying out the door. He weakly looked up to see Nami standing above him, a smirk on her face.
"You think I'd be that stupid to leave my journal lying around like that? Oh, and stay out of our room."
Luffy groaned in defeat. Ah well, there'd be other times to try.
Sanji turned on the stove, but no flames burst out to warm the frying pan. Frowning, he removed the pan and tried to turn it on again. Only a feeble flame flickered out for a brief second before retreating back into the stove.
"You having any problems there, Cook-bro?" Franky asked as he rummaged in the fridge for some cola.
"The stove won't turn on."
"Psh. Of course it won't, because you won't let me replace it!" Franky caught sight of the pan of meat in Sanji's hand. "Here, lemme cook that for you."
"No, really-" Franky took the pan before Sanji could protest further.
"FRESH FIRE!" Franky blew flames into it. When the flames finally died down to little flickers, the meat was nothing but charred flakes stuck to the red-hot pan.
Sanji stared at the ruined food in dismay. "Jeez, you shitty cyborg. Way to waste perfectly good food."
"Eh, just give it to Luffy. He'll eat it." Franky shrugged, stretching his arms.
"Not a bad idea, actually."
"Oooh… right there…"
Sanji paused outside the ladies' door.
"Go a little deeper…!"
He began hyperventilating and the tray of glasses in his hand began to rattle violently. If he didn't know any better, that sounded a lot moaning, and a lot like Nami and Robin-
"Relax, Navigator-san. I've done this before."
"I'll say… this feels really nice… ugh! There! Right there!"
Unable to take it anymore, Sanji hastily put the tray down and pushed the door open. Nami was lying on her stomach on her bed, several arms surrounding her. Robin was sitting on her own bed with a book in hand.
"Sanji-kun! Can't you knock?" Nami said angrily. His only response was a spurt of blood from his nose and a blank stare. Nami's eyes widened. "Y-you thought Robin and I were… PERVERT!" She quickly kicked him out the doorway and shut the door.
"You'd think I could have a relaxing massage without any interruptions just for a few minutes." Nami sighed. Robin simply chuckled and resumed to kneading knots out of Nami's back.
Luffy looked up from his coloring book as Brook passed by. He was humming, but there was another unfamiliar sound accompanying his voice.
"Oi, Brook, what's that weird buzzy noise?" Luffy asked, sticking a crayon up his nose.
"Mm?" Brook opened his jaw and removed a harmonica from his mouth that Luffy hadn't noticed. "This is my harmonica. I have discovered I can hum and play it at the same time if I hold it in my empty jaws."
"Oooh! Lemme try!" Luffy grabbed the harmonica and swallowed it whole. He began humming a tune off-key. "Hmm… no, it doesn't work."
"… I will purchase a new one at our next stop." Brook said.
Everyone stood before what was left of a burnt up husk of what probably used to be a magnificent tree far larger than anyone else could have ever imagined. The surrounding area was overgrown with foliage that had no doubt flourished from the ashes.
Robin stepped up and carefully ran a finger over the blackened wood. The section crumbled beneath her touch. Wordlessly, she stepped through a large hole and into the tree. Everyone else hung back, afraid of breaking anything. Not that there was anything to be broken.
"Oh…" Robin's voice came from inside. Luffy nodded to everyone else and they gingerly stepped inside. The sunlight shone through the top of the tree, which had burnt away. The inside was utterly destroyed. They swore they saw a few blackened human skeletons half-buried beneath the debris but they didn't point them out to Robin.
Robin was kneeling before a little sapling no taller than herself poking out of the ashes of the dead tree. She gently touched the pale bark wondrously.
It would take another millennium for it to inherit the name of the Tree of Knowledge, but Robin hoped there would be people to welcome it and fill it with archives when it did.
"Oh, wait, wait…" Brook laughed, turning around. Chopper giggled in anticipation and Usopp held in his laughter.
"Yohohoho!" Brook whipped around. He had stuck two lit candles in his eye sockets, the flames flickering frantically with his movements. "My eyes are on fire! Ah, but, I have no eyes!! Skull joke!!"
"Oi, Robin…" Zoro let his sentence hang, pointing at the large snake coiled up on top of Robin's head like some sort of hat.
"There's a snake on your head."
"Yes, there is."
"Wanna explain why?"
"Well, Captain-san brought an egg on board and told me to watch it while he went to eat lunch. It hatched before he returned, and the newborn imprinted on me."
"I didn't know snakes did that."
"This species does." The snake hissed at Zoro and curled up tighter. Robin reached up to pet its head. If Zoro didn't know better, he'd have sworn it purred and rubbed against her hand eerily similar to a cat.
"Eh." Zoro shrugged and walked away to get some sake.
After all, he had seen much stranger things before, and Robin being a surrogate mother to a snake was no exception.
Everyone in the dance club abruptly stopped dancing when they realized that Strawhat Luffy was among them. But it wasn't because of the fact he was a wanted pirate. They couldn't have cared less.
The speakers boomed an intense bass rhythm as Luffy flailed and thrashed as if he were throwing a peculiar temper tantrum.
"Luffy, what are you doing?!?" Usopp hissed, glancing nervously at all the other people gawking at them.
"Dancing, of course!" Luffy laughed, still thrashing and flailing.
"Oi, Nami, I think you're growing a little mustache." Zoro said bluntly, pointing at Nami's upper lip.
Nami smiled blankly at Zoro, not blinking.
"YOU BASTARD!" Nami suddenly lashed out, hammering Zoro into the deck with a fist. She stomped away, muttering about moronic boys and their stupid obsession for facial hair.
Still, she went to the bathroom to check in the mirror. Just in case.
Chopper fidgeted uncomfortably, rocking back and forth on his hoofs. "Look, it's not that I don't like you, it's just that my captain will probably try to eat you."
The little cat mewed and batted at Chopper's nose with a paw.
"Hee, that tickles!" Chopper giggled before catching himself. "Go away, cat! I didn't ask you to follow me to my ship! That's right! I'm a pirate! PI-RATE! RWAAAR!"
The cat mewed again and rubbed up against Chopper. Chopper sighed, muttering that he wasn't flattered at all, not at all. Well, he could at least try to convince the others to let her come along…
"Tomorrow we'll look for another island, okay? Now let's have some MEAT!"
"Luffy, you idiot. We're nearly shitty out of food. Nami-swan, would you like some more fish??"
"Sanji-kun, you just said we're running low on food."
"WHAT? We'll starve! WE'RE GONNA STARVE… let's eat Chopper."
"USOPP YOU BASTARD!"
"Jeez, you guys are so noisy! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!"
"Yohohoho! I thought we were going to eat! Let's have food! Let's have food!"
"Skeleton-bro, Cook-bro just said we don't have enough for a feast. Totally not super…"
"Fufufu… well, we might as well enjoy ourselves and party while we still can."
AN: *Since I'm assuming there's no France or Spain in the OP world...
So which ones are your favorites?
Reviews will be greatly appreciated.