Just A Bit of Subtle Revenge

Summary: Subtle? Yuu Kanda was as subtle as a buzz saw. However, secretly female and secretly in a relationship with Lavi, Kanda has no other choice but to turn to other means to get rid of some pesky roommates.

Pairings: Lavi/Kanda

Disclaimer: I don't own of the series -Man and all the characters belong to someone far more talented and richer than I am.

Warning: A two-shot with Kanda portrayed as a female in gender. Yes, I am well aware that he is in fact a guy; but with such beautiful, long hair, it's not hard to imagine him as a girl, right?

AN: Hello everyone, welcome to my second attempt at writing a D Gray-Man fanfic. This time from Kanda's POV, which I must admit, was rather fun to write. He's so prickly and sour that it's easy to write one's stress away, isn't it?

Thank you so very much to; orphen chica, BoundaryOfLimitation, dragonheart3, CleverPhoenix, Ame no Kuheiza, marufu-chan, dragonfire7654321, Yuu13, HienFan and Crazy Hyper Lady for reviewing "Other People's Secrets". I know you were kinda expecting a sequel, perhaps, but this isn't it. Sorry, but I guess it can be from the same universe if you want it to be.

Comments, suggestions and rants are all welcomed. Don't be afraid to let me know what you think, but no flames –wags finger- not unless you want a verbal smackdown, of course. Well, I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1:

It's official, Kanda twitched and trailed a finger over the hilt of Mugen. This had to be hell on earth.

Being crammed into a single bedroom apartment in the Black Order with four others, all guys, was sheer torture. It was even harder when three of the four guys wasn't aware of one's real gender, but like to get touchy-feely regardless.

She still can't believe that she was sleeping in the same room as Krory, Daisya, Chaoji and Lavi. And even more baffling was the fact that they were all still alive.

It's all Lavi's fault. If he didn't continually try to stop her from slaughtering their unwanted roommates, they wouldn't have a problem, would they?

Sharing a room with Lavi, alone, wasn't something she would have found a fault with as they were often sneaking into each other's rooms during the night. Why? Well, that's because they're secretly together, as in a couple.

At first the sneaking around started out as merely seeking comfort with each other, not that Kanda would have admit that to anyone. She remembered how it all started quite clearly. After returning from a gruelling mission that saw two finders slaughtered by Akuma, none of which she could have prevented no matter how much she tried, she was unable to sleep and somehow ended up standing outside Lavi's door. Next thing she knew, the door opened and she found herself wrapped up in Lavi's warm and powerful embrace, one of which she returned without her knowledge. He didn't say anything to her, offered no empty words of sympathy, he just held her.

And that was all she needed. She fell asleep on his bed that night, Lavi simply lying next to her, his hand holding hers.

After that, they often sought each other out for a simple piece of understanding or comfort, and it somehow turned into a friendship, spending a many night simply talking and often at times, Lavi making her laugh at his overly exaggerated story telling. Was it any surprise that it led to something deeper?

Yeah, she fell in love with that idiot rabbit. How or when, she didn't have a clue. It just...happened.

They've been together for about a year now, their relationship a secret to everyone, except Lenalee. The young woman was secretly a romantic and when Kanda reluctantly admitted the truth, Lenalee literally squealed with delight and hugged the life out of her.

Kanda must admit, after having to listen to Lenalee giggle about her relationship, she wondered if she made the right decision in telling her. However, she had her mind quickly changed when a few months later Bookman himself came close to finding them out. If it weren't for Lenalee's quick thinking, cheerfully changing his suspicious mind, Lavi would have been pulverized into a bloody mess and perhaps even forced to leave the Order.

She doesn't even want to think about that possibility.

Another twitched shook her slender frame as the ever cheerful Daisya let out a loud laugh, to which was immediately hushed by Lavi. Kanda wasn't watching, she was currently sitting on the only bed, trying in vain to meditate, but she could imagine Lavi trying to shush the other three males with his hands while sending apologetic looks in her direction.

"Come on, guys, keep it down," Lavi requested with an air of exasperation in his voice. "Yuu's trying to meditate. Give him some peace, will ya?"

"Why can't he do it outside?" Chaoji questioned as he took a bite out of something hard and crispy.

Kanda twitched yet again, her muscles tensing as she fought the urge to jump up and slice that annoying bastard in two. And she probably would have had it not been for the sudden sound of skin hitting skin which prompted her to finally open her eyes. What she saw was Chaoji squatting on the ground, holding his head while Lavi stood over him.

"The reason why Yuu isn't meditating outside is because it's the middle of winter and it's raining," Lavi informed him, his arms folded tightly over his chest. "Do you want him to get sick?"

"Ah, no, of course not," Chaoji replied through his teeth that was gritted tightly in pain.

Drawing in a deep breath through her noise, Kanda closed her eyes again, repeating her mantra 'Must Not Kill' in her mind over and over again.

She didn't know where the Beansprout was shanghaied to, but she really didn't care. She was just glad that he wasn't stuffed in here as well.

However, a moment later she was pulled from her meditation yet again when the bed next to her suddenly sagged, as if someone just took a seat next to her. However, the presence was comforting and she knew immediately that the only one who would dare move next to her was Lavi. Which was fortunate, or unfortunate depending on your point of view, as had it been any of the others, she would have attacked them right on the spot.

Feeling a shoulder brush against hers caused Kanda to open her eyes, letting them fall onto the room's other occupants who were currently sitting in a circle on the floor, playing cards. She then turned her gaze to Lavi, who was looking at her with his one visible eye that appeared tired.

She could see a sense of longing in his gaze, one she was sure was mirrored in her own, but there was nothing they could do about it.

"They've promised that this is only temporary," Lavi whispered into her ear, his heated breath cascading down her throat and she had to literally grit her teeth so she would not visibly show a shiver.

"How long is temporary?" Kanda hissed back in reply. "It's been two weeks already."

Discreetly, Lavi took her hand in his, hiding their entwined fingers from sight. "I know," he replied as he gave her hand a light squeeze.

Kanda said nothing in reply, instead pressing her lips together in a thin line and curling her fingers tighter around Lavi's hand, subtly revealing to him that she was becoming frustrated at the lack of time between them.

The reason for this arrangement was fairly simple, but enough to make Kanda want to spit acid. Those morons in the Science Division just had to screw up a rather important and secret experiment, which caused a series of explosions, which somehow, god only knows, blew up the majority of the dorm rooms, including hers.

She would have killed them all on the spot if she wasn't so shocked by what happened.

When he found out, Lavi immediately offered his room for shelter, which he really didn't have to. She was going to crash in his room whether he asked her to or not. However, with so many others currently room-less, it prompted Komui to start lumping everyone together in groups. And no matter how much she and Lavi protested at having so many people in one room, he wouldn't listen, instead telling them all, with that overly cheery expression of his that it's only for a short while.

By whose definition of a short while they were going by, she didn't know. But it was steadily starting to royally piss her off.

She got very little sympathy from any of the others, Tiedoll seemingly relishing in the prospect of her getting along with others.

"It's so good to see you are finally getting along with your fellow Exorcists, Kanda," Tiedoll said to her when he learnt of the bedding arrangements, clasping her hands in his while he tried to look proud, keeping a straight face. However, with tears rolling down his cheeks and a huge droplet of snot hanging out of his noise he tried to discreetly snort back in, it wasn't that effective.

Go to hell, old man! She didn't want to get along with anyone unless she had too.

Ok, so in this case, she had to. But that didn't mean she was going to like it or even put up with it. Besides, there was only one person she was willing to get along with and that was Lavi himself. Everyone else could drop dead as far as she was concerned.

...Ok, Lenalee can live. She was the only other person who could help her get the baths to herself alone...and she was a good girl, so she can't really complain.

She could tell being crammed into a room with three other guys was torture for Lavi as well. Since that explosion that had never been explained other than an experiment gone wrong, which was two goddamn weeks ago, they haven't been able to be alone together. They were able to share the only bed together, the other three forced onto the floor, but all she and Lavi could do was sleep side-by side.

For a couple of eighteen-year-olds, that was agony, she'll admit quietly to herself.

She has tried everything to make them seek shelter with any of the others boarding within the Black Order; threatening them with Mugen and quite rightfully sending them to the medical ward was her favourite.

But they always came crawling back, sometimes literally, a few hours later, making her ears bleed with all their whining and bitching to Lavi.

The sound of shuffling brought Kanda out of her musings and she glanced up to note that Chaoji, Krory and Daisya have put their cards away and are not standing in a semi circle near the door, looking in their direction.

"We're going to get something to eat as it's near lunch, are you two coming?" Daisya asked, his two companions nodding their heads behind him.

A light sense of relief formed in Kanda's chest as Lavi shook his head in the negative, while she didn't bother granting them with a reply.

"You go ahead," Lavi said as he waved his free hand, the one not holding hers, dismissively at them. "I wanna have a chat with Yuu for a moment."

The three suddenly looked rather displeased, yet nervous at the same time. They seemed reluctant to leave Lavi alone with the ever unpredictable and murderous Kanda.

Tch, nice to see that her reputation still precedes her.

They finally left, however, after some shooing from Lavi, closing the door behind them as they exited. As soon as Kanda heard the door click, she unwilling released a sigh of relief, one of which Lavi promptly echoed.

"I thought they'll never leave," Lavi said as he lifted his hand and trailed his talented fingers down the side of her face, his eye gazing intently into her own.

"They'll be back, though," Kanda muttered bitterly, her face creasing into a light frown, a far cry from her usual deadly scowl.

"Then let's not waste any time," Lavi whispered to her heatedly, the fingers caressing her face quickly moving to entangle themselves within her hair. Not a moment after that, their mouths met in a deeply passionate kiss, their tongues battling for dominance as hands touched and caressed the other. Their movements were daring, desperate, frantic and needy; it had been two very long and practically painful weeks indeed.

Kanda laid down on the bed, Lavi hovering over her, one of his legs moving in-between hers, prompting a shiver of delight to race up her spine and a hiss to escape her lips. She started to feel hot, very hot, even as Lavi started to remove her Exorcist jacket with nimble fingers, expertly undoing every button as quickly as possible, all while still kissing her deeply.

Breaking the kiss momentarily, Kanda tried to work off Lavi's jacket with her fumbling fingers, but with the way he was currently biting and licking a very sensitive part of her neck, it was extremely hard to concentrate on anything other than trying to breathe.

"Yes," Kanda breathed lowly when Lavi finally managed to undo the buttons of her jacket and was now trying to do the same with the shirt underneath, his fingers brushing along the bandages around her bust.

"Yuu," Lavi breathed against her neck. "Gods, you're beautiful."

Kanda whimpered softly when Lavi trailed a hand over the bandages concealing her bust, teasing her so. "Lavi..."


They both nearly jumped out of their skins when they heard a loud bash against the door and an overly familiar and right now, obnoxious voice.

"Hey, Lavi! You alright in there?! Kanda hasn't killed you, right?"

"Shut up, idiot! Kanda's still in there! He'll slaughter us all!"

"Come on, Lavi! Let's go get something to eat!"

Ok, that just ruined the moment completely.

"Let's ignore them," Lavi suggested as he leaned down to kiss her again, but Kanda stopped him by placing a finger to his lips. She knew, from experience, that if Lavi didn't walk out of the room now, the three vermin outside would try to break their way in to save him from an untimely death, as they like to put it.

"Go," Kanda said harshly as she pushed away from him and moved to stand on her feet, fixing her clothes as she did so. "They won't leave until you do."

Still sitting on the bed, Lavi looked put-out by what just happened. "But, Yuu-chan-"

Kanda cut him off by picking up Mugen and placing it by her side. "I'm going for a walk," she said as she threw open the door, uncaring that it smacked Chaoji in the face before stalking down the hallway.

Her body was so heated by the small act of intimacy just then that she needed to calm herself down, hoping that perhaps the winter air might do the trick. But this could not go on, dammit! It was only a matter of time before they jump each other.

She needed a way to get rid of these bastards and she needed to do it soon.

"Kanda, are you alright?"

Snapping her head up with a vicious glint in her eye, ready to disembowel the fool who interrupted her inner musings, Kanda quickly bit her tongue, however, when the ever innocent and sweet Lenalee appeared before her. She had her head tilted to the side in question with an unmistakable look of concern on her face.

"What?" Kanda asked as she tried to keep the icy harshness in her voice to a minimum.

"You look rather stressed," Lenalee said as she took a step closer, making no attempt to hide her concern. She paused in her movements for a moment, pondering something, before clapping her hands together in front of her and granted Kanda with a smile. "I know, join me in the baths for a while; no one else is there as they're all having lunch right now."

That wasn't a bad idea, actually. The warm water and the steam should help clear her head and it would give her the time needed to plan some murderous intent for her three unsuspecting roommates.

"Fine," Kanda said as she gave a light shrug, letting Lenalee grab her by the arm and lead her away while she resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the enthusiastic female.

Fortunately, it was just as Lenalee suspected; the baths were completely empty, no doubt everyone mingling together in the dining hall and will be for quite some time now. Quickly discarding her clothes and the bandages around her chest, Kanda wrapped a thin white towel around her body and pulled her hair up into a messy, loose bun, held together with a pair of decorative chopsticks.

She quickly made her way into the baths, sinking into the warm waters with a sigh. Lenalee appeared moments later, wrapped in a towel as well and carrying her bathing products with her, as well as a magazine of some kind. From her position on the other side of the bath, Kanda couldn't see what it was, not that it bothered her much at all anyway. Reading in the baths weren't uncommon.

"So, how are you doing, Kanda?" Lenalee questioned in an attempt to make small talk, sinking into the waters opposite Kanda. "Must be hard living with Lavi and three other guys, right?"

"You have no idea," Kanda all but snarled as her eye gave an ever familiar twitch. "How much longer is it going to take to fix the fucking rooms already?"

"Are they disturbing you and Lavi?" Lenalee asked with a quite not-so innocent smile on her lips.

Kanda's first instinct was to deny, deny, deny, but decided against it as Lenalee here wouldn't believe a word she said, anyway. "Yes," she begrudgingly admitted.

Lenalee nodded her head in a sign of understanding. "You could always force them to leave," she suggested.

"Don't you think I haven't tried throwing them out?" Kanda practically snarled as she bristled wildly at the assumption that perhaps she didn't try before. "I've sent them all to the hospital, for fuck's sake!"

Her outburst did very little to faze Lenalee, who instead tilted her head to the side, giving an uncharacteristic air of mischievousness to her. "I was thinking of something a bit more subtle."


Turning around, Lenalee reached into her bathing products and plucked out the magazine, handing it straight to her on an open page. "This might give you some ideas."

Slightly confused, Kanda took the offering and warily glanced down at the page. She blinked and blinked again when she read the headline. "Ways to Ditch the Annoying Visitor?" she murmured before snapping her gaze back up and eyeing Lenalee off suspiciously. "...You don't seem the type."

Lenalee immediately blushed at the light accusation, a rather forced laugh passing her lips. "Yeah, well, I actually found that in my brother's office. I think he might be trying to use it on Allen."

Kanda was unable to hide a cruel chuckle. "Heh."