Just A Bit of Subtle Revenge
Summary: Subtle? Yuu Kanda was as subtle as a buzz saw. However, secretly female and secretly in a relationship with Lavi, Kanda has no other choice but to turn to other means to get rid of some pesky roommates.
Disclaimer: I don't own of the series DGray-Man and all the characters belong to someone far more talented and richer than I am.
Warning: A two-shot with Kanda portrayed as a female in gender. Yes, I am well aware that he is in fact a guy; but with such beautiful, long hair, it's not hard to imagine him as a girl, right?
AN: Hello everyone. And just as I promise, here's chapter two for you. I really hope you'll enjoy reading it as Kanda is always so much fun to write.
Thanking: CleverPhoenix, marufu-chan, Uzumaki and Hyuuga girls, kayter, Yumehi, bloodiedangle, , orphen chica and kresiana for reviewing the last chapter. And I hope you'll take the time to review this one as well. Reviews can sometimes lead to inspiration so that's always a good thing.
After her bath, Kanda found her way back to her temporary bedroom, thankful to find it empty for once. Those three idiots, plus Lavi it seemed, must still be in the dining hall, talking and laughing like fools amongst themselves.
Sitting herself upon the bed that she and Lavi was sharing, Kanda pulled out the magazine Lenalee gave to her in hopes that perhaps it could get rid of her problems in a more subtle fashion. Though extremely sceptical, Kanda saw no harm in having a look at it anyway. If threatening those three with murderous, bodily harm wasn't working, something else had to.
Skimming her gaze over the article, Kanda felt her scepticism grow. Apparently, the article was written by some disgruntle house wife who didn't like her husband's friends coming over all the time, hogging the couch and TV, practically living with her and her new husband. They wouldn't leave and her husband was reluctant to ask them to go as they've been friends since school or some tripe like that.
But really, dog-food pie? Chilly in their underwear? Laxatives in their coffee? It's all a little too...tame for her. Besides, there was no way in hell's fiery pits she was going to go anywhere near their underpants, not even if they've been cleaned a thousand times.
The thought alone was enough to make her visibly shudder.
Also, the other suggestions in this article would be far too suspicious for her to pull off. She was no house wife, so to find her suddenly offering a pie or coffee to her three troublesome roommates would send alarm bells ringing to anyone.
This article was stupid, complete utter nonsense. No way on God's green earth was these things going to work and knowing her luck, the boys would simply enjoy these attempts to make them leave and Lavi would be the one to suffer.
"Hey, Kanda," Daisya greeted cheerfully as he practically bounded into the room quite abruptly, startling Kanda just a little, though she would never admit it to anyone. "What are you reading?"
"Nothing," Kanda snapped in reply, shoving the article under the pillow on Lavi's bed and folded her arms over her chest, eyeing Daisya off critically.
"Yeah?" Daisya said in a slightly disbelieving tone. "Was it interesting?"
"None of your business!" Kanda bristled as she climbed to her feet, her arms still folded tightly over her chest as she looked blatantly defiant.
"But you looked deeply interested in it," Daisya said as his gaze, filled with curiosity, fell onto the pillow, studying it carefully.
"Pft, whatever," Kanda snorted harshly as she unfurled her arms and moved to stalk by him quickly, her face creased in the ever familiar scowl. "I'm leaving."
She then left the confused and slightly fearful male behind, her invisible hackles still bristling. How much longer would she have to put up with the constant interruptions and irritations?
A bit of training would help sooth her anger right about now.
The rest of the afternoon wasn't a total loss thankfully; she managed to do a bit of training with Mugen and hadn't seen any sign of those three idiots for a while. Maybe because she hadn't been back to their room yet. Although she still hadn't seen Lavi for a few hours either. He was probably dragged off by Bookman for more of his training, locking him away in the library.
That bastard had been appearing more and more recently; he was getting way too suspicious.
She was currently doing a few errands in order to fill in some of her free time, one of which she was near completing, all she had to do was find the recipient of this errand and hand over the item wanted.
Yes, she was that desperate for something to do. She didn't want to head back to her shared room because those three might be there.
With her mood as it was, there was no telling what she might do.
Turning into another corridor, Kanda felt her hand twitch above the hilt of Mugen when she came face to face with Chaoji, her fellow student, who made a surprisingly high-pitched noise of shock before jumping back. He stared at her for a moment before glancing down nervously at what she was holding.
"This that dog food?" he asked with an oddly shaky voice.
Kanda blinked at him. "Hn?"
"What are you doing with a can of dog food?" Chaoji questioned as he took a step back, followed by another and then another. "Are you heading to the kitchen? Heh, it's steak and kidney pie night, isn't it?"
"What are you going on about, fool?" Kanda questioned harshly as she furrowed her brow into a deeply seated scowl. "I'm busy."
Chaoji looked at her face, down at the item she was holding, back to her face and then again to the silver tin in her hand. He suddenly grew very pale before he released this unexpected scream of terrifying realization, actually startling Kanda enough to jump back in shock, her eyes widening as her free hand gripped the handle of Mugen. Chaoji then turned on his heel and sprinting away quickly into another corridor, leaving a completely bewildered Kanda behind.
"The fuck...?" she murmured as she stared off in the direction Chaoji disappeared in.
At the other end of the hall, Lenalee appeared looking concerned and anxious.
"What happened?" she asked as she hurriedly made her way over to her, her eyes darting back and forth for any potential danger she wasn't aware of. "I thought I heard Chaoji scream?"
"He did, though I don't know why," Kanda replied as she turned her attention to the younger and shorter girl, removing her hand on Mugen as she did so. "He took one look at me and screamed. I didn't even glare properly at him."
His reaction to her was surprising, not upsetting or unwanted, just surprising.
Lenalee sighed softly with an air of relief that there was no danger and placed a hand over her heart. "How strange," she murmured in regards to Chaoji's reaction before turning her gaze at the item in Kanda's hand, her eyes immediately widening.
"Hey, is that dog food?" she asked as she reached for the tin, Kanda letting her take it from her grip. Lenalee took a moment to examine it before a pleased smile appeared upon her lips. "You found some, that's great! Thank you so much, Kanda, now little Beno won't be hungry anymore."
Yeah, she was doing an errand for Lenalee to find some dog food for a stray little pup she picked up called Beno during her last mission, a little pup that Komui didn't know about. She was fearful that if her brother found out, he'd take the little flea-ball away, claiming that it was an Akuma out to hurt his beloved sister.
That man had some serious sister complex going on there.
"Where are you keeping that mutt, anyway?" Kanda asked with a hand on her hip. "In your room?"
"Yeah, but only for the winter," Lenalee explained. "It's too cold outside right now."
"Yeah, well, that's the only tin of dog food we have, so don't give it to him all at once," Kanda told her, to which Lenalee simply nodded her head in understanding. "Anyway, I have one more errand I need to do before I have to go back to that rat hole called a bedroom."
"See you later, Kanda!" Lenalee cheerily called out to her as she began to walk away, placing the tin of dog food into her jacket in order to hide it.
"Yeah," was Kanda's reply as she walked in the opposite direction.
Her next errand, one she was reluctant to do, but anything was better than heading back to that room filled with annoyance and unfulfilled sexual tension between her and Lavi, was to retrieve another strange item. She'll need Jerry's help to get her hands on it, though.
Why Allen, that damned Beansprout, wanted with several pieces of chilly, she would never know. And didn't want to know; she'd sleep better at night not knowing what was going through that Beansprout's head.
Getting her hands on the chilly was surprisingly not that difficult. The head chef, Jerry, appeared ecstatic at the thought of her trying something different to eat, other than soba, but she soon snapped him out of his disillusion by telling him that she was simply doing an errand for someone else. She wouldn't say who, though. If she told anyone that she was doing Allen a favour, she'd never hear the end of it.
As she began to head in the direction she thought the Beansprout to be in, she found herself crossing paths with Krory, who immediately spied her, his eyes darting to look at the parcel in her hands. He then paled, much like Chaoji only a few moments ago.
"Is that...is that chilly?" he asked, his tone of voice tittering on the edge of fear.
Kanda blinked before she raised an eyebrow at him. "Yeah."
That was the second time today one of the three stooges stopped her in the middle of the corridor to question her about the item she was carrying.
Krory suddenly began to slink away, tentatively taking slow steps backwards, backing away in a way that made Kanda feel like he was trying to avoid running into a dangerous animal. "What are you going to do with it?"
Kanda simply furrowed her brow at him. "Nothing. What's it to you?"
"Are...you heading towards the laundry room?" he questioned her as he began to sweat, still edging away slowly.
Kanda glanced over his shoulder for a moment to realize that she was heading in the direction of the laundry room. However, that wasn't her intended destination. Why did Krory here seem reluctant, fearful even of her heading to the laundry?
"What if I am?" she questioned him this time as she narrowed her eyes accusingly.
Her rather mild glare, in her standards anyway, was enough to earn a terrified squeak from the male in front of her. "I gotta go!" he suddenly exclaimed before doing the exact same thing Chaoji did, disappearing from her sight.
"Tch, whatever," Kanda tisked as she continued walking, a slightly mystified expression on her face.
That was the second time that happened today. She was better at intimidating people than she first thought. She didn't even have to say or do anything this time.
"Hey, Kanda," Allen's voice suddenly called out, stopping her dead in her tracks. "Did you-?"
"Yeah, I got you ya damn chilly," Kanda said as she threw the plastic bag of red chilly at him, watching with a dissatisfied frown when it merely bounced off his forehead and into his open hands, Allen not even batting an eyelid. "What do you want with it?"
"Oh, master wanted it for something," Allen explained to her with a light shrug of his shoulder before his expression turned unexpectedly sour and his eye gave a twitch. "Probably to torture me with."
Kanda gave a snort to hide a cruel chuckle. "Heh."
Allen's expression abruptly changed again, this time a hint of curiosity in his gaze. "Hey, was Krory here just now?"
Kanda gave a sharp nod before indicating the other end of the corridor with an upward tilt of her chin. "Yeah, but it took off running."
"Where was he going?" he asked as he looked baffled.
"Hell if I know," Kanda practically spat with disinterest. She was just happy that he wasn't bugging her at the moment. "And I don't particularly care."
With that said she turned on her heel and stalked away, leaving Allen behind with his chilly, silently hoping that General Cross does use it as torture on the annoying Beansprout.
Ok, what to do next?
Stopping in her tracks, Kanda turned to glance over her shoulder at the only person who dared (and was allowed) to call her by her first name. She waited until the redhead made his way to her side before looking at him with a sense of curiosity; he was smiling broadly. "What?"
"Quick, come to our room," Lavi said as he reached forward to snare her wrist in his hand, pulling her in the direction of their room.
Kanda made no attempt to struggle as the slightly older youth pulled her through the corridors, the grip on her wrist moving to grasp her hand instead. "What for?"
That smile on Lavi's face only brightened further. "You have to see it for yourself," he said mysteriously as they rounded a corner that lead to the dorm rooms.
The sight that greeted her was not something Kanda was expecting, but had been hoping for for quite some time now. Daisya, Krory and Chaoji were darting in and out of the room hastily, frantically, their belongings pilling up outside the door, the three of them looking undoubtedly nervous, scared even.
She could have sworn that Krory asked Daisya; "He didn't have time to anything yet, right?"
"What?" Kanda said, alerting the three to her presence, which made them all freeze to the spot. "What's going on?"
"Ah, Kanda," Krory said as he slowly turned to her, a very wary look in his eyes. "Well you see, we just..."
"We've found another place to stay!" Daisya interrupted as he gave a shaky grin. "Isn't that great? Now, it won't be so cramped."
Kanda furrowed her brow, suspicious, but inwardly pleased all the same. "All three of you?"
"Yeah, great isn't it?" Daisya asked again.
Chaoji suddenly turned to Lavi and took a hand in his. "Well, thanks for your hospitality, Lavi, but we gotta go."
With that, the three of them gathered up their belongings and made a very, very hasty exit, disappearing at the other end of the hallway. "See ya!"
Lavi watched them leave before slowly turning to face Kanda, a sly and knowing smile slipping across his lips. "...What did you do, Yuu-Chan?" he questioned as the two of them made their way into their now private room, leaning against the door as it made a clicking sound, signalling to Kanda that he just locked it.
"Me? What makes you think I did anything?" Kanda asked as she tried to look indignant at his question, her hands planting themselves on her hips.
Honestly, she didn't do a single thing. All she did was leave that magazine out in the open for curious eyes to find and she just happened to walk the same halls they did, carrying out seemingly random errands that just happened to consist of a few ingredients mentioned in the article.
Not her fault if those three have active imaginations, was it? It also wasn't her fault that she happened to have a reputation that stated she would do anything to get her peace and quiet.
"I guess it doesn't matter," Lavi said as he pushed away from the door and took a few steps forward, easily closing the distance between them so he was now standing directly in front of Kanda.
Then, with a slightly predatory glint in his eye, he wrapped his arms around Kanda's waist, pulling her against him, her hands resting on his arms. He leaned forward, nuzzling his cheek against her neck, forcing a sigh to pass from Kanda's parted lips, trailing his lips up until he reached her ear to whisper huskily; "After all, we're alone now, right?"
"That we are," Kanda agreed, only to suck in a sharp intake of air when Lavi turned his attention back to her neck, his talented tongue and lips nipping and licking the tender flesh. She had suspected that Lavi would want to celebrate their 'independence' but she wasn't expecting him to want to the very second their troublesome guests left.
"Ngh, right now?" she questioned as she tilted her head to the side, allowing him more room.
"I've been holding back for over two weeks, Yuu," Lavi replied against her throat. "I can't hold it in any more."
And so the rest of the day was spent in a flurry of kisses, hands touching heated skin and sweat sheen bodies moving together perfectly upon ruffled sheets.
She was screwed.
No, literally. She'd created a monster. After getting the three pests to leave their room, Lavi celebrated their new found peace by immediately taking her into his arms and ravishing her absolutely senseless. Again, literally. She lost all concept of time and was unable to recall which way was up during their bout of frantic love making.
She was utterly exhausted. Her back hurt, her hips were killing her and her voice was hoarse. She was covered in bite marks, some in places she never thought Lavi could reach during full penetration. She had a huge red and purple hicky on her ankle, of all places. How the hell...?
Oh, it felt amazing at the time, but now she was exhausted.
Walking, ok, limping with her hand on her back and a deep scowl on her face, into Lenalee's room, who of which was looking at her with a knowing smile. Kanda then slapped the magazine against her chest and levelled her with a hard, but tired glare.
"You don't happen to have a magazine to ward off sex-crazed maniacs, do you?"
Lenalee just giggled.