First, I have to say that I put up with a lot of shit when it comes to this relationship. Not that I can't deal with it. I don't really mind that he stinks like a cheap whore, or is as moody as my aunt Ruth when she went through "the change." Or even that sleeping with him is like using an icicle for an dildo. Actually, that part is surprisingly pleasant. I'm not some naive little girl, with a head full of completely unrealistic dreams of an epic romance with my vampire lover. I knew what I was getting into when I started seeing Edward, and on the whole it doesn't suck. Fuck, okay it's pretty fucking amazing if I'm being honest.
Most of the time, I barely notice the differences because he keeps me pretty occupied. Did I mention the sex is amazing? There is something to be said for having a lover who is frozen at his sexual peak, and that something is 'dislocated hip.' It is worth the pain, every time.
There's just one thing that drives me nuts, that I can't stand; 'Edward Cullen's Looming Vampire' routine. Allow me to demonstrate.
I'd headed over to the Cullens' place today, right after work. I had spent eight hours around sweaty construction workers, and felt like I'd been lying on a men's room floor. All I wanted was a hot shower and something to eat.
As soon as I got through the door, I dropped my bag, kicked off my boots, and made a beeline for the bathroom. What did Edward do?
Edward sat on the couch.
I finished burning off two layers of skin in the scalding hot shower, brushed my teeth and hair, and then I headed into his bedroom to get dressed. Edward was leaning against the four-poster, brass-framed Princess bed that he bought for me. I hate that 'gag-me,' pink nightmare of a bed. I don't know where he gets his ridiculous ideas about what women like, but I've been busting my ass to carefully beat every last one of them out of his head.
Edward watched me with a smile on his face while I got dressed in the soft, cotton t-shirt and worn pair of jeans that he'd laid out for me. I didn't even bother to roll my eyes at him as I walked out of his room and made my way to the kitchen. Edward followed me like a silent shadow.
Edward sat on a kitchen stool, his elbows on the counter as he cradled his chin in his hands, and followed me with his eyes. I dug through the near-bursting cupboards and refrigerator until finally settling on making myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I poured a glass of milk, grabbed my sandwich, and sat in the stool beside him. I was able to get about halfway through my sandwich and milk when I finally couldn't take it anymore.
"WHAT?" I'd screamed at the placid expression on his pale face.
"It's our Anniversary," he'd replied, with that annoyingly adorable and lopsided smile.
So now, here I sit, feeling like the biggest jackass in the world, and he's just smiling at me. If I didn't love him I would tear his fucking head off for gloating at me like that.
"I love you too," he says, reading my mind – the nosey fucker – and leans in to kiss my cheek.
Author's note: Kay Cannon for giving this a quick beta. Reijilie gave me the inspiration for this little bit of drabblely fluff.