(Thank you very much to all those readers who have followed this story over the months. It has been an interesting ride with this unusual pairing and situation)
"I'm sorry Sir but he won't speak to anyone."
The Doctor frowned uselessly at Gibbs who simply stood his ground in the hospital corridor.
"He'll speak to me" Tim's voice was quiet but firm.
The Doctor shook his head "No I don't think you understand. He won't even speak to his wife or family."
Tim nodded "That's because he's ashamed of what they did to him. And that's exactly why I have to go in and speak to him. Because I'm the only one that really knows"
The Doctor opened his mouth to say something when Tony jumped in to explain.
"Agent McGee here was also held captive by the same people as Agent Jefferson."
The Doctors eyes widened slightly and then he studied Tim as he stood confidently in the white glare of the hospital lights. Tim nodded slightly to him before pulling out the big guns.
The Doctor sighed and dropped his head and Gibbs grinned. It seemed he wasn't the only man who found it difficult to turn down the big pleading eyes of one Timothy McGee.
"Ok Fine. But I can't guarantee he will talk to you or even that he won't have you kicked out of his room."
Tony grinned "That's fine. That's all he needs. A few minutes. Thanks"
Tim bit his lip as he stood at the bedside of the man who had succeeded him in the fanatic's tortuous affections. Was this what Gibbs and Tony had seen that first time in the hospital? A broken man?
"What are you doing here? Who are you? Go away I don't want to speak to you!"
Jefferson turned his bandaged head towards Tim and rasped out his anger. Tim ignored him and pulled a chair over as Jefferson lunged trembling for the call button.
Tim glanced up at the window into the room to see Tony and Gibbs standing watching him while a young woman with a fearful expression stood and watched from the other side. He took a deep breath and started.
"When they had me….that first night…..that was the worst. They were bad later but nothing like that first night, day whatever. They wanted to terrorize me and they were anxious, jumpy and aggressive. I think they were kind of on a sort of high from being successful at capturing me. They were …cheering each other and goading each other into ..…things"
Tim trailed off and took a deep quivering breath.
"When I was in the surveillance van I think they gassed me. I felt suddenly woozy and light headed. It was stupid but I wasn't thinking straight. I opened the doors to get some fresh air. It was exactly what they wanted me to do. I felt something go over my mouth and that was the last thing I remember from being outside.
Later when I came to…they told me I was a government whore. I was paid to do someone else's dirty work. I was tied to a chair and they taunted me. They were all in black and they kept shifting around. It was hard to tell who was who. I tried to remember their voices, their heights anything. Then they forced me down over a table and I struggled so hard to get free but there were …so many hands ...they took off my trousers. I didn't realize what they were doing at first."
Tim wiped his trembling hand across his eyes clearing away the tears that clouded his vision before ploughing on.
"I mean I think part of me knew…..what they meant ….but I just didn't think they would actually do it. Until…until…..I felt one of them behind me and I could feel how warm he was against my skin. It was then I realized that he was naked from the waist down and he ….he pulled my cheeks apart and I could feel…. "
Tim fell silent, shaking trying to gain control over himself. Finally he cleared his throat and shook his head as if trying to clear the memories away.
"Later they said that's why no one had come for me. They said it proved their point that I wasn't worth anything to anyone."
That first night….. When they were all done …. When they had all taken their turn to …..fuck me they….. They wanted me broken. Humiliated.
I heard them talking and laughing. I don't know whose idea it was…I don't think they had ever done it before…They …raped me with my service weapon. They showed it to me and I heard the click when they took the safety off. They trailed it across my face and they keep talking and talking about what a sweet fuck I was.
I felt the metal down my back and then …... I was already bleeding…..and swollen from when they all had…..I lost it. I knew I should just….take it, in case it went off but I couldn't stand it. I screamed and fought…God it was my own fucking GUN. I …..I couldn't breathe and I just wanted to get away. I think I must have hyperventilated and passed out because I don't remember anything else until I woke up chained to the wall down in that room. "
Tim rattled to a stop, breathing heavily as he told this stranger the darkest moment of his life.
Jefferson was frozen staring up at him, the call button still in his bandaged hand.
Tim looked deep into his frightened eyes knowing that this damaged man needed to see this truth in his eyes.
"But what I want you to know is not how they hurt me but that you're not ALONE. You have people who care about you, just like I do and you matter to them. You WILL get better and you WILL live your life again. You WILL love and be happy again. It won't be the same as it was before but it certainly is worth fighting for"
An anguished sob tore itself from the throat of the injured man and suddenly he found himself cradled carefully in the arms of the tall stranger as he wept desperately, clinging to him tightly as he was gently rocked.
Tim continued to talk knowing his words would still be heard through Jefferson's despair.
"You must not believe what they said to you. You are NOT worthless. You need to let your family in. Your family loves you and they can help you. The men that did this to you are all dead. I saw them burn so they will NEVER harm you again. NEVER. I know it's difficult to believe but you will heal…"
Gibbs smiled proudly as he watched Tim talk, his back turned to the window and all his attention on the damaged man in the bed.
When Tim had inquired about Jefferson and had heard that he was having difficulties accepting anything but the most necessary medical attention Tim had insisted on coming straight to the hospital to speak with him. There had been that stubborn determination in his eyes that Gibbs hadn't seen in a long time and it made Gibbs glow with fierce pride.
Tim had come a long way.
Gibbs watched as suddenly the strong and resolute Jefferson broke like a dam before a flood and for the first time he cried out his terror and despair, his body shaking with the intensity of his emotions.
His young wife Jessica, let out a soft cry and leaned heavily on the glass as she watched her husband fall apart. She had her hand covering her mouth as she struggled not to wail. She was so tired and frightened and she couldn't understand why he kept turning her away. She was just so happy he was alive.
Tony gently pulled her into his arms and let her cry, her tears making a large wet patch on his shirt. He ran his hands up and down her back gently as he murmured.
"It's going to be ok. He's going to be ok. Let it out. It's ok to cry. It's ok to be frightened. Shhuuussh. I know it hurts to see him like this but I promise it will get better"
Tony held her until her weeping turned into hiccups as she pulled away embarrassed, wiping her eyes.
"I'm so sorry. I…I don't even know you"
Gibbs smiled and handed her a fresh hot cup of coffee.
"It's all right. We understand"
The three of them turned back to the window and watched as Tim still held a sobbing Jefferson.
Tim looked up and saw the two men whose overwhelming love and support had helped him reclaim his sanity and his future. He gave his lovers a gentle smile and hoped it conveyed the overwhelming feeling of love he had for them in his heart.
A month later
Tim locked his shiny new engraved service weapon away in his lock box with a tender smile. He had to be the only field agent in Washington and possibly in the entire country with a flashy gangster style buff gold SIG with scroll engraved handle.
It had been a gift from Tony and Gibbs to help him with his field requalification after he had told them what he had spoken to Jefferson about.
God knows what favors Gibbs had pulled to get permission for him to use a non standard weapon out in the field although the style choice was obviously Tony's. He hadn't realized what a relief it would be not to have to handle an item he still occasionally had nightmares about. His new gun looked nothing like the one that had been used against him and it even felt different in his hand when he held it.
And if it raised some eyebrows when he was out in the field then only the three of them really knew the real reason for it. Besides it gave Tony a whole new barrage of nicknames to try out.
Tim smiled as he heard the knock on his door and throwing on a fresh t shirt he went to answer it.
"Hey there McGee" Tony breezed past McGee and Gibbs followed with a smirk and a bag of fresh cinnamon rolls
"I must say I like this new apartment of yours. Much bigger. More light. More stylish too. At least now I won't be cramping my style by spending too much time here"
Tim just rolled his eyes as Tony flopped onto his new couch and picked up the remote while he toed off his shoes.
"Geez why don't you make yourself at home Tony?"
Tony grinned charmingly "Ok I will then"
Gibbs gave Tony a look and he made some room for Gibbs on the couch before returning to flicking through the channels.
"So you settled in ok Tim?" Gibbs called out as Tim disappeared into the bedroom to grab his gifts.
"Yeah I think so. Seemed a bit strange at first but I really like it. I even did some writing last night. I think the new psychologist I'm seeing is helping"
Gibbs grinned pleased, knowing that even though Tim had kept his tone light the fact that he was writing again was a very big deal.
"Oh I brought you thank you for helping me move presents"
Tim stood in front of Gibbs and Tony with an envelope and a small wrapped package.
"You brought us gifts?" Gibbs gave Tim a surprised look.
"Ohhhh I hope the package one is mine" Tony grinned, his eyes alight at the thought of presents and Gibbs shook his head at his hopelessly eager boy.
"Yes Tony as a matter of fact it is"
Tony snatched the parcel gleefully and tore it open to reveal the plastic folded pink pool toy.
"An inflatable pool pony!"
Gibbs grinned at Tony's delight and then pulled Tim into his arms with a growl, whispering into his ear.
"Oh I am definitely going to have fun with that"
Tim smirked and then biting his lip he turned in Gibbs's arms and gave him the wrapped envelope.
Gibbs kissed Tim sweetly on the neck and with Tony peering over his knees he opened the wrapper.
"It's a gift certificate…..for timber"
Tim blushed and turned to look at Gibbs who was giving him a questioning look.
"Yeah well I was thinking it might be nice if we start making up the new chest together. It might take us some time to get it right but you could teach us. I mean we're going to need somewhere to put our collars and I wouldn't mind if we started maybe…playing some games in the bedroom again."
Gibbs just looked at his youngest boy while Tony let out a whoop and barreled into them, giving them a giant hug, nearly tumbling them onto the floor. Gibbs held out his arms and crushed his two boys to his chest, feeling overwhelmed.
"Yes. Yes to all of it"