Author's Note:

Hi all! I'm sorry I haven't updated in quite a while. I've been experiencing writer's block ever since the end of An Unexpected Reunion!

This is somewhat a dedication to Nutella's Biggest Fan, who is one of my favorite authors' and friend here on FF and who provided great support throughout this year, helping me improve my writing skills. Thanks for the millionth time, pal!

This afternoon I was hungry and didn't feel like studying and so voila!

Enjoy the two-thousand something words lemon waiting ahead ;)

"Yo, Sweetcheeks!" Hidan called, closing the door behind him and swaggering into the kitchen, "What 'cha cooking?"

"I want to make some salad with the turkey I bought." Kiyomi explained without looking at him, where she was paying attention at chopping carrots into neat pieces.

"Ohh." Hidan rolled his eyes. He hated salad. His magenta eyes glanced to her hand, which was gripping onto the knife tensely. Damn, he felt himself get hard by the simple action of hers.

"Sweetcheeks," He whispered huskily.

"Hmm?" She asked, placing the carrots onto a plate and reaching for a celery stick to chop.

Hidan couldn't take it anymore. He walked over to her within a stride and pulled her arm, making her shriek, "Hidan! Don't do that when people are using knives, someone might get hurt."

"I won't," He smirked.

She carefully placed the knife down on the kitchen counter. "You won't, but I might."

"Psh. I won't allow that to happen!" He kissed her on the top of the head, "Now, I've always wanted to try this…"

"Try what?" Before he answered, she was already placed onto the dining table.

"This," He grinned, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. He took turns looking at her then at the table, back and forth between two.

It took her a few seconds to understand. The moment she did, she flushed red, "No!"

"Too late! and you know I hate people when they say no." Hidan chuckled, untying the apron around her and tossing it to the floor.

Kiyomi chewed on her lip as her lover glowered at her with his violet eyes. He was like a predator ready to prance on its prey. "Hidan," She tried again, "It's almost lunchtime." She held up her hand, trying to push him away.

"I know, and I'm hungry," He growled huskily, pressing her down onto the dining table.

Kiyomi pointed at the kitchen counter, squeaking, "Lunch is almost ready!"

He was annoyed by her nagging and silenced her protests with a sloppy kiss, probing his tongue into her mouth, savoring the sweetness of her. She slapped him on the arm and let out only a subdued whine. She couldn't believe she was…she was surprisingly turned on by this! This tasteless, vulgar sex 'scenario'!

"Stop teasing me, Hidan…ahh…" She threw her head back and groaned, since his talented tongue was teasing her nipple by licking the remaining whipped cream on it. He held on to her neck with his right hand when his left hand roamed to her lower region and stroked her womanhood with his fingertips. She jerked up at his touch, grabbing him on the arm, her mouth wide open, trying to catch her breath.

His digits slowly pumped in and out of her. The vulnerable and crude position she was in made her squirm and try to keep her legs shut but Hidan possessively pressing down on her knee, shooting her a warning look and separating her legs even wider.

He knew she was almost off the edge and began thrusting faster with his fingers then suddenly stopped, retreating his now wet hand, "Damn, sweetcheeks! Didn't know this would get you horny!"

She shamelessly whimpered, her hair messy, legs apart, whipped cream still spread across her naked upper-half torso on the dining table.

She ran her fingers through his hair, panting, "Why…"

Hidan had mischevious grin on his face, "Why, you like it! And I'm just getting back at you for playing footsie with me then leaving me with a boner!" He backed away from the table tauntingly.

"You're just leaving me here?" She asked, "But…"

"Hmm?" Hidan took a step closer to her.

"But I can't get down…I…" She stammered embarrassingly, crazily shaking her head, "Just don't leave me like this!"

Before she could react, Hidan stuffed a fresh strawberry into her mouth, caressing her cheeks, "Sweetcheeks, shut up. Of course I can't leave you all horny on a dining table without giving you a fuck or two!"

The sweetness of the fruit seeped down her tongue to her throat, making this situation-erm, sex with Hidan even more erotic than usual.

"And the main course," Hidan toothily grinned, shamelessly stroking his shaft as he positioned himself before her wet entrance, slowly sliding in, "is served."

She let out an elongated moan, her hand gripping onto the edge of the table.

"You better chew on the strawberry or you'll choke. You know how it comes to choking-" Hidan laughed teasingly.

She shot him an embarrassed yet annoyed glare, but obediently swallowed the fruit. Pleased, Hidan reached over both his hands and started kneading on her soft mounds, sometimes a hard squeeze and sometimes a light cup. Whatever it was he was doing, it made Kiyomi moan louder than ever.

And you know Hidan. He liked being loud. More so, making someone scream underneath him.

Their naked bodies rocked towards each other in a rhythm, faster and faster.

The plastic bowl of strawberries fell to the floor, and the can of whipped cream followed behind.

"We're making a mess!" Kiyomi whined, her eyes scanning the scattered things on the ground.

Hidan grunted and made her let out a gasp as he thrust deeper than ever into her, as if complaining silently, telling her to shut her yap.

"Fine, I'll talk about it later-oh!" She pouted, fixating her gaze back into his intense violet orbs.

"Good girl," He nodded, dipping his thumb into a jar of Nutella and stuck the tip of his finger between her lips, "Suck."

She did what she was told, twirling her tongue around his thumb. Hidan grinned proudly, "Good, you're gonna suck my cock like that later. With whipped cream."

Her face was burnt red by the thought. She hardly gave him blowjobs and to imagine the scene awaiting her was quite unbearable.

"I don't…" She shook her head, difficult to speak with his digit still in her mouth.

"You do and you will," Hidan stated sternly, "And I'm about to cum." He carelessly released himself inside of her and she gasped as her hips jerked up uncontrollably to her own orgasm. The jar of Nutella was the last victim to fall off the table.

"You shouldn't have," She muttered once he retreated his finger from her mouth, "I could get pregnant…"

"What's that, couldn't hear ya!" Hidan cackled, lifting her off the table, making her kneel to the ground as he sat himself down on a kitchen chair. He picked up the can of whipped cream from the floor and casually sprayed it over his still erect manhood. With no shame or shyness whatsoever. In fact, he had a proud look on his face like Himaru when he finished a painting!

She was on the ground, staring at him in awe. Dear god, how is this sexual scenario even possible? Well, she was quite conservative in bed and this? Whipped cream on his private parts? A little too over and flamboyant for her.

Hidan ignored her gaping and pointed at his cock with his index finger, "Suck! Like, lick off the whipped cream and stuff. I want to see your face smeared in white."

Her knitted brows frowned in distaste. 'White'? As in just the cream or something…else?

She blushed madly at her own dirty thought and licked her lips nervously, "I don't know if I can do this, Hidan-danna…it's so…foreign."

"My cock isn't a foreigner, it's been a pal of your pussy for quite a long time now, so give it a good blow!" He demanded impatiently.

"Well, 'it' is a foreigner to my mouth," She retorted dumbly, "I don't like to…you know, perform oral sex that much. You get excited and-"

"But you like it when I go down on you!" Hidan scolded, "Well lemme tell you what, my tongue and lips have been literally all over your body and so your lazy mouth won't die just by giving me a Jashin-damned blowjob! Don't be such a hypocrite and suck!"

A little taken aback by his words, she pursed her lips as she crawled a little closer to him.

Jeez, he was sure stubborn when it came to sex.

Slightly opening her mouth, she slowly slid his 'flavored' manhood in between her lips and began.

Hidan cracked a smile, patting her head, "Good, sweetcheeks. I promise I won't make you gag."

She glared up at him-as if saying, 'You always do'.

The silver-haired albino just rolled his eyes and pressed her head towards him, allowing her to take him entirely in.

Soon, he came.

"There you go! Good job!" Hidan exclaimed as if awarding a child. He wiped the 'white' stuff off her face with the back of his palm and gave her a good slap on the bottom.

She jumped at his action and mumbled, "Don't do that! That's very degrading!"

Hidan hopped on the table himself and grinned stupidly at her, "Sweetcheeks, I never said you couldn't spank my sexy ass. But I like it when you dig your fingernails into my hips when you're so fucking turned on…"

She slapped him on the bare thigh, "Don't talk dirty like that."

"That," He grabbed onto her wrist, pulling her towards him, "That was a good slap. Now, since I 'degraded' you with that spank, I allow you to ride me."

"No!" She shook her head, "I have to make lunch and clean the mess on the floor-oh!"

Before she could continue, he had pulled her onto the table above him and slammed her down onto his yet again erect manhood, "You like that, huh? Haha, told you no one can resist riding me!"

"You…" She bit her lip, the familiar feeling of sensuality of the position made her body unconsciously begin to grind down on him, their hips and loins meeting each other at each thrust, the slapping sound of skin erotically echoed in the kitchen.

"Good thing all the stuff already fell on the floor, huh?" Hidan commented, one of his hands squeezing her waist, making her groan.

"This is what, the second time you've rode me?" Hidan began to speak again; he recalled that whoever was on the bottom would be the one talking the most. When sweetcheeks was on top, she'd be bizarrely quiet and gaze at him intensely. Hahaha so weird.

"Sweetcheeks," He continued, "Hey, sweetcheeks?"

"Mmm?" Was all she could mumble from her pursed lips.

"You like being on top, don't cha, Sweetcheeks? You feel empowered?" He asked, mimicking how talkative she was while being fucked by him.

She closed her eyes and nodded, her eyes beginning to roll back.

Hidan wanted to pull a prank on her, just for kicks…without a notice, he spanked her on the ass, making a huge 'smack'! It caused her to inhale sharply and the next second she screamed.

Umm…the table crashed to the ground. Good thing she was on top so she wouldn't be covered in splinters.

"Oh my God," She gasped, quickly getting up, "Are you okay? I-I'm so sorry, are you hurt? Oh God, Hidan."

"I'm perfectly fine, don't talk about God, okay? Fucking pisses me off all the time." He groaned, getting up. She began picking out the wooden splinters on his arm, staring in awe as the tiny wound re-patch itself, repeating "Sorry" over and over again.

"It's okay," He stated impatiently, pulling her towards him and gave her a peck on the lips, "I'll be fine. I'll clean out the mess, only if you help me."

She smiled at him appreciatively. Out of nowhere, he dabbed a dot of Nutella's delicious chocolate spread onto her nose. She shrieked and giggled, the two of them starting a rated-R food fight on the messy kitchen floor. To be honest, they didn't need lunch. Their appetites were fulfilled. Sexual appetite, that is.

"Where's the dining table?" Himaru asked, running around the empty area of the kitchen.

"Erm, let's just say there was an earthquake." Hidan wickedly laughed.

"Oh, I know! You and mama were naked-wrestling and accidently broke the table. Haha!" Himaru clapped his hands, "That's okay, just make sure you don't break my bed!"

Kiyomi wished she could just vanish other than dying of embarrassment.

"We should try it on his bed next time," Hidan whispered shamelessly into her ear, earning himself a punch on the arm.

"That's a good slap," He winked at her, returning a spank on her perky bottom.

"Yay! Make Uncle Sasori make us a table! He was way cooler than Auntie Dei-Dei!" Himaru clapped his hands and smacked his father's butt.

"Hey, I told you not to touch my fucking ass, that's incest!" Hidan hollered and began chasing his son around the kitchen.

Kiyomi's lips couldn't help but curve up. She loved how dysfunctional this family was, hoping it would stay this way.


Haha, hoped you guys liked it.

Even though we know Kiyomi's wish didn't last long :(

I will be continuing this, but maybe not as frequent because I have been working on other potential fics as well as final exams.

(I'm still working on the epilogue too, but it's nothing exciting, unfortunately.)

Anyways, reviews would be great!