Title: (She Will Always) Carry On
Author: Girl Who Writes
Feedback: If you feel so moved.
Character: Usagi (NQS)
SMMFC Prompt: Hymn to Her by The Pretenders
Word Count: 594
Genre: Drama, Dark
Summary: She is the one who has seen what waits at the end and could only weep.
Notes: This should technically be part of the "Happiness" shorts, but I really feel that this should stand alone. There is a second part to this planned - I've been told the end is a bit obscure, but I feel the second chapter resolves everything. I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: The characters of Sailor Moon belong to Toei, Bandai and Naoko Takeuchi. I make no profit from this fan-based venture.
She is alone again.
She is nothing amongst the silence, amongst the darkness. The last, forgotten relic of a great battle.
And, as the tears slip down her cheeks, she – for less than a moment – stares into the abyss, into the incredible nothingness that surrounds her and wonders if there is anyone in time who has ever felt and seen this, or if it is her gift and burden to bear.
She is the only one left, and as she curls into her self, she doesn't know who she is. Her hair has been stained white at the edges, slowly creeping up the golden strands and swallowing her whole – no longer Usagi, no longer Sailor Moon or Princess or Serenity... who is she?
She is the princess who took her own life to follow her prince into the beyond.
She is the girl who found her destiny in a little black street cat.
She is the woman who divided her heart infinite times – her family, her friends, her love, her daughter – and never flinched to meet the gaze of anger, of loneliness, of hate, of chaos.
She is the soldier who cried when blood was spilt.
She is the Queen who ran from her palace a moment too late, to watch her daughter slain, to see the cold bodies of the people who meant the most to her in the entire world. Who did not crumple to her knees and scream for a saving grace; did not end her life in the sight of such hopelessness.
She is the one who has seen what waits at the end and could only weep.
And she raises her head from her hands. She is not going to stay here, where she is the only light in the darkness, where she is alone and the quiet feels like it is crawling all over her, trying to suck out all the sound from her.
She floats there, with her eyes closed and tilts her head up. She wants nothing more than to see the stars once more. Tiny little lights, tiny little hopes. For every single star, Usagi, you get a wish. It has been so very long since she has had either of her mothers by her side that tears well up in her eyes at the memory. Her mother's arms around her as she pointed to the skies.
As she reaches out, she feels its familiar weight in her hands. It flickers, almost as if it is speaking to her, and the chalky dried blood that stains her hands and dress simply disappears.
And then, there are her stars. An infinite amount of stars, surrounding her, making her smile around her tears.
She wants them to see this. She wants her friends, her family, here to exclaim at the colours of the stars up close. She wants to rest her head on Endymion's shoulder, to wrap her arms around her daughter and smell the roses and candy that her beautiful, beautiful baby has always smelt of. And then, if she has to, she will leave them to see this together.
She holds the crystal up, and her mind repeats the same thing so many times, it sounds like a desperate prayer. Her hair whips against her face, and the stars get so much brighter and then...
She cries out and recoils from the crystal as it shatters, her blood soaking through her dress, blood tracing her cheeks like tears and she falls forever.
She can smell the roses.