Devirginizing Edward One-Shot Contest

Story Name: Catch Up, Cullen!

Pen name: DivineInspiration

Pairing: Bella/Edward

Disclaimer: I own nothing except an active imagination that likes to play with other people's characters

To see other entries in the "Devirginizing Edward" contest, please visit the C2: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/Devirginizing_Edward/76805/


Catch Up, Cullen!


Edward walked down the hallway towards his locker wondering how he could have missed it. Had there been posted a memo on the notice board at the main entrance with a ten step program? Had they sent out emails, somehow forgetting to mail him? Shit, if Jasper had hacked his email account again he would get his ass kicked! Or maybe he had been out sick the day everybody had learned about sex?

Reaching his locker, he nodded to Emmett across the hallway. His brother was wrapped around Rosalie Hale as usual, one hand in the back pocket of her jeans and the other holding his own backpack and her messenger bag. She was pressed into his side like they were glued together, eyes locked and even their steps were coordinated to match.

Edward shook his head and threw his biology books into the locker and grabbed his gym bag. As he made his way to the gym, he pondered about sex again.

As every other high school student he was well aware of the mechanics and the possible consequences. He, too, had suffered through the embarrassing bordering on hilarious attempts made by the teachers at getting the students to practice safe sex and all that shit.

And as all other teenage boys he had a well-hidden stash of porn. Okay, maybe not that well-hidden as there was little doubt that Esme Cullen got into every hiding place in the house when she cleaned – but Edward comforted himself with the fact that if she knew where his stash was located, then she also knew about Jasper's and Emmett's. No way was Emmett creative, not even when it came to hiding porn.

Edward's problem was not knowledge, it was experience. He had never considered himself stupid or slow, but when he had finally figured out that he was lacking behind in the experience department he had been shocked and had that same feeling as when he had forgotten to look where he had been going and almost been hit by a car when he was twelve.

The embarrassing part – well, okay it was all embarrassing – but one of the embarrassing parts was that it took a long fucking time for him to even notice that he was lacking behind. And that's when it became a real issue.

A real issue as in how the hell did he catch up?

"Oh shit, did you see her tits today?" Edward recognized Mike Newton's voice as he entered the locker room. The blonde self-proclaimed Wonder Boy was surrounded by his usual minions as they talked their usual trash about the unsuspecting girls outside.

"Nah, too busy looking at her ass. Those jeans looked like they'd been painted on her, but I happen to know for a fact that they're not. Damn, she's fine." The voice belonged to Tyler Crowley, Wonder Boy's little metro friend.

Edward tried to ignore them because if he wasn't careful they would draw him into their conversation and he had run out of evasive answers to their probing questions a while ago.

"Oh fuck, to be hitting that…! Am I right, Cullen?" That was a normal question for Wonder Boy to throw out there when he noticed someone particularly appealing walk down the hallway and Edward would attempt a convincing "yeah".

Or some version of "So, did ya get any action this weekend, Cullen?" to which Edward would dig deep and pull out a confident, yet mysterious smile. – Knowing that he was more than likely looking more like someone with a stomach ache.

Edward didn't like Wonder Boy.

After a miserable hour of soccer practice in the rain Edward was more than happy to make his way home. He dodged a couple making out in the door opening. What the hell? He glared at them because honestly, couldn't they find someplace else to exchange spit? – Only to notice that it was Ben Cheney and that shy chick whose name started with an A.

Allison? Anna? Alicia? Angela! Yep, there it was. Angela.

Edward was mortified. Ben Cheney had been his only ally; the only guy who didn't always talk about blow jobs, some girl's ass or who was fucking who. Well, that was going to fucking change now. Damn.

Catch up, Cullen, catch the fuck up!

That was his mantra the whole way home and sounded good in theory but he had no clue as how to do it. His entire sex life consisted of self-administered hand jobs and one kiss last year. Alice Brandon had forced him into kissing her, threatening to tell Emmett that Edward was the one who had broken his iPod and not Jasper who had gotten the blame – as well as a thorough ass-kicking. Alice wanted her first kiss out of the way before she pursued Jasper who she was determined would marry her one day. So far they were dating and Edward shuddered, thinking about his older brother's reaction if he ever found out about the kiss.

So yeah, not very exciting. At all.

Both his brothers had their girlfriends over that night and after dinner Edward somehow found himself sandwiched on the couch between Alice and Rose while Jasper and Emmett had gone AWOL. Fuckers.

The girls were chatting and every time Edward tried to make his escape, one of them would claw down on his wrist and exclaim the next bit of gossip even louder as if that would interest him in staying.

It didn't. And where the hell were those sorry asses he called brothers?

"So, did you hear that Jessica went all the way with Eric?" Rose asked in a tone that implied that the world was about to go under.

"She is such a skank," Alice huffed.

"Yeah, but come on. Eric?" Rose cringed. And so did Edward.

"She'll do anybody. It's a fact," Alice stated as a universal truth. Her gaze turned to Edward as her hand clawed down on his wrist again. "I bet even Eddie here has been near her septic pool."

Both girls' eyes were fixed on him and he squirmed uncomfortably. How the hell had he gotten himself into this situation? He coughed as if that would save him and stood up, only to be yanked back down in the seat by two surprisingly strong girl hands. What the fuck?

"Well, Edward?" Rose cocked her head looking all alluring and shit. It was no wonder that she had Emmett wrapped around her little finger. But Edward was stronger, he was sure of it. Well, almost sure of it because the way her teeth bit into her bottom lip… Shit. Edward shook his head and averted his gaze. He briefly considered yelling out for his mom because that was the only way out of this mess that he could think of.

"Ed-ward," Alice sang.

"Why the hell would I want to go anywhere near that slut?" Edward finally grumbled, fighting the blush spreading on his cheeks. As desperate as he was, he wasn't nowhere near desperate enough to go to the sluttiest slut at Forks High School. A man had standards. And they matched his blue balls.

Rose snorted. "For the same reason anyone else might go near her, obviously."

"I'm glad you think so highly of me," Edward grimaced.

Alice released his wrist and leaned back in the couch, folding her arms across her chest. "You know, you're right, Edward," she said finally. "You're a Cullen and it's a fact that Cullens are fuckhot, so you definitely shouldn't go anywhere near Jessica Stanley. You can do so much better."

Edward experienced a few seconds of relief that they would stop pestering him about Jessica the Slut, but then it dawned on him that the conversation might just be headed into a different mine field.

Rose's eyes twinkled as she rubbed her hands. "Who should we set him up with, Alice?"

Oh FUCK no!

"No, no. That's really not necessary," Edward protested. "- Really not necessary at all."

"Aw, Eddie, don't spoil it for us," Rose complained.

"Besides, when was the last time you had some fun?" Alice pressed.

"Um. I have fun," Edward tried to convince them. And himself.

"Okay, I'll be more precise – when was the last time you had fun with someone of the opposite sex?" Alice asked, all smug and shit. Damn her.

Edward considered his options. He could be honest but that would be really embarrassing. He could yell for his mom or one of his brothers but that would be equally embarrassing. He could make a hasty escape and hope he could make it up to his room without getting fucking clawed again but Alice was fast as shit on a short distance, so that one might be out too. There was really only one option left.

"That's really none of your business!" Edward huffed. "Don't you have anything better to do than snoop around in my personal affairs?

"No, we really don't," Alice replied matter-of-factly. "So spill."

"Absolutely not," Edward stated, slowly starting to get the hang of appearing insulted.

"Let's make a deal," Rose suggested.

Edward was suspicious because Rosalie Hale did not give up easily when she had made up her mind up about something. But he nodded, making sure not to agree to anything before he heard what the deal was about. How the HELL had he ended up in a Rose/Alice sandwich making deals concerning the details about his non-existing sex life?

Hey, there was a visual for Wonder Boy next time he asked one of his stupid questions: Sandwiched between Rosalie Hale and Alice Brandon on a couch… Except Wonder Boy gossiped more than old women and Emmett and Jasper would kill him several times if they ever heard the twisted version of what was happening at the present time. Damn.

"If you divulge the name of one girl – just one – that you have…um had fun with in the last year then we won't set you up with anyone," Rose bargained.

Edward's gaze involuntarily drifted to Alice who proceeded to shoot him so many daggers that he felt physically wounded. He quickly looked away, racking his brain for any incidents involving him accidentally brushing against someone's boobs or something like that. Nothing came to mind. And he couldn't very well lie because he had no doubt that if he threw out a random girl's name, Rose and Alice would saunter right up to the poor unsuspecting girl tomorrow and ask for details.

He groaned and the smiles on Alice and Roses faces told him that they knew they had won. "Just please don't set me up with Jessica!" he begged.

The two witches cackled and started throwing around names while Edward hid his face in his hands. Mommy…!

"Okay, no skanks," Rose said all businesslike and shit as Alice whipped out a notepad and a pen. "Despite the obvious lack of action, he is a Cullen and should date accordingly."

Emmett and Jasper sauntered into the living room, throwing themselves on opposite ends of the other couch. The smirks on their faces told Edward that they had been listening to at least some of what had transpired between their respective girlfriends and their victimized little brother. Edward glared at them.

Traitors.

"Honestly, Eddie. You can't get a date on your own?" Emmett sighed. "You're a disgrace to the Cullen name."

"And you're both a disgrace to brothers everywhere," Edward grumbled.

Emmett snickered. "So…guess who is going to be out of town next weekend?"

"I'm hoping you and Jasper," Edward muttered and ducked as an empty soda can sailed through the air in the near vicinity of his head.

"Ooh! Please say it's your parents!" Alice begged, almost on her knees. Jasper's eyes bugged out and Emmett laughed, confirming that Mommy and Daddy Cullen indeed were going away to New York for a long weekend.

"Party time!" Alice cheered. "And date time for Eddie. It's perfect."

Perfect was not exactly the word Edward would have used. He hated it when his brothers threw parties. People at school were stupid enough sober and they only became worse when they were drunk. Stuff always ended up broken and then they had to come up with cover stories for their parents. And the clean up was a nightmare where Jasper and Emmett were so hung over that Edward almost always ended up doing most of it himself. Parties sucked. And now he even had to endure some girl picked out by Alice and Rose.

Edward groaned, wallowing in his own little circle of hell for a while before tuning back into the conversations around him. His brothers were talking alcohol and the girls were still throwing around names of potential dates for him.

"Lauren Mallory?" Alice suggested.

"No, no and hell no," Rose snorted. "The skank actually flirted with Emmett last week. She's not good enough for Edward."

Alice nodded and threw the next name out there. "Angela Weber?"

Rose cocked her head, contemplating this. "She's a bit shy but I guess she's pretty enough."

"Um…" Edward would have preferred to stay out of it, but had to come to his former ally's rescue. "I believe she's dating Ben Cheney. At least I saw them exchanging spit this afternoon after school."

"Damn," Rose muttered. "Well then, what about Katie Egan? She's nice enough and she has such beautiful hair. I wonder what kind of shampoo she uses."

Alice nodded thoughtfully.

Edward didn't care about shampoo, but he had to ask. "Who the fuck is Katie Egan?"

"Oh Edward, honestly," Rose scolded him. "Do you live under a rock? I mean, how are you even related to the two most popular guys at school?"

Edward kind of wanted the answer to that question too.

"Oh, I know! Tanya Denali!" Alice suggested eagerly.

"Under normal circumstances I would agree that she would be a suitable date for Edward, but I guess you didn't hear the last little tidbit of news about dear Tanya?" Rose smirked.

Alice gasped. "I heard it, but I didn't believe it for a second! Are you telling me that it's true?"

Rose nodded with a devious smile.

"Skank," Alice muttered. "We must save Eddie from the big bad STDs."

Just as Edward had made the decision to throw some sort of tantrum in a desperate and slightly pathetic hope of getting out of the increasingly embarrassing situation, Alice started laughing. "I know the perfect date for Edward. Oh man, I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. Isabella Swan!"

"Who?" Rose and Edward were in perfect harmony when they asked the question and they glared at each other.

"Chief Swan's daughter," Alice replied. "She's arriving from Phoenix later this week. She's a junior too and she's going to be staying with the Chief until graduation. Something about her mother remarrying a basketball player or a baseball player or something."

Rose narrowed her eyes. "How do you know all this? Do you even know the girl?"

Edward almost laughed; Rose absolutely detested being kept out of the loop. That's right, Rose – pounce on the pixie and forget all about me.

Alice squirmed, knowing this too. "Well, you know how my family used to live across the street from Chief Swan? Bella – she prefers Bella instead of Isabella by the way – she used to visit the Chief a couple of weeks every summer and since there were no other kids on the street, we would play and hang out when we were kids. I haven't actually seen her since I was like twelve, but I ran into the Chief the other day and he told me that she was coming to live with him. He even showed me a recent picture and gave me her cell phone number so that we could catch up."

Rose was not convinced and truthfully, neither was Edward.

"She's a really nice girl and pretty too – her hair is even more beautiful than Katie Egan's. She was always a bit shy but heck, so is Edward when he's around girls. They would be soooo cute together," Alice gushed.

"Okay," Rose sighed. "But you're paying for our next shopping trip if she turns out to be a slut or something. The goal is to set Edward up with e nice girl, not hook him up with a whore."

"Bella is not a slut," Alice promised.

Edward had no idea who Isabella Swan was; in fact he hadn't even been aware that Chief Swan had a daughter. But it seemed to him that they had overlooked one very important detail and he wondered whether or not to point it out to them. He decided to be nice. They both wore pointy shoes with nasty heels, after all.

"Um, how do you even know she wants to come to the party as my date?"

Alice and Rose looked at him like he had grown a third head. Jasper and Emmett laughed. And Edward was suddenly pretty sure that he was the one who had overlooked some important detail. He just couldn't figure out what it was.

"Have you met us?" Rose asked with a raised eyebrow.

Edward nodded hesitantly. It wasn't like he could deny it, anyway.

"Well, have you ever experienced anyone say no to Alice and I when we turn on the charm?"

Shit. Good point.

And the point was so good that when the following Saturday came to happen, Edward found himself pacing his room awaiting the arrival of one Isabella Swan, also known as his date for the party hosted downstairs by his brothers and which was already in full swing.

Alice and Rose had forced him to wear a specific pair of dark jeans and a black short-sleeved button-down. They had attempted to fix his hair and Edward had found morbid pleasure in the fact that the two girls who no one ever said no to could not tame his hair. God, he loved his hair.

He had not yet met or even seen the elusive Bella. She was not set to start school until the following week and he hadn't seen her in town either. Not that he had looked. Much…

Edward finally admitted to himself that he couldn't put it off any longer and went down to join the party after making sure that the door to his room was locked. Last year during one of his brother's parties he had returned to his room and found Wonder Boy and Jessica the Skank on his bed. Ugh. He had spent the following morning burning his sheets in the back yard. Emmett had even roasted marshmallows because the dude ate fucking anything – even marshmallows roasted in the fire of Wonder Boy and Skank soiled sheets.

Even before Edward had reached the living room he had already had to maneuver around three couples making out, one of them Emmett and Rose and he did not ever want to know exactly where Rose's left hand had been when he passed them. Ugh.

Alice flagged him down from across the room in her not so subtle way, waving her arms while jumping up and down and screaming his name louder than the already loud music. Edward cringed – at Alice and at whoever had chosen the music. Euro Dance was just not a favorite of his.

Edward made his way to the bouncing Alice. Next to her, with her eyes glued to the floor and her long brown hair hanging like a curtain around her head, stood a petite brunette; almost as petite as Alice herself. Bella, no doubt, Edward concluded. She was wearing tight jeans, brown knee high boots and a teal colored camisole. Edward wished he could see her face because if it matched the body he was going to have to thank Alice and Rose later. - Even if the whole being sandwiched between them in the couch while they embarrassed him thing had been a nightmare.

"Edward, this is Bella," Alice said. "Bella, Edward."

"Hello," Edward said, wishing he could think of something original or funny to say. He stuck his hand out but nearly dropped it again when Bella finally looked up. Alice had described her as pretty but that had clearly been a lie. Isabella Swan was beautiful.

"Hi." Her voice was soft and Edward nearly sighed out loud when she shook his hand. Her skin amazingly soft and he wanted nothing more than to touch her again.

"All right, play nice kids," Alice warned them playfully before she skipped away.

Edward shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other, desperately trying to think of what to say. Bella was looking anywhere but at him and he couldn't help but fear that Alice and Rose somehow had forced her into being his date. They could be rather ruthless when they wanted to.

"So, um…can I get you something to drink?" Edward finally thought of asking. That was polite, right? Oh shit, he hoped she wasn't going to think that he just wanted to get her drunk.

She looked up at him through her long eyelashes as a blush spread on her cheeks. Fuck. Edward almost panicked, thinking she could read his thoughts, but was thoroughly distracted by her beauty.

"I wouldn't say no to a rum and coke," she replied softly, barely audible over the music.

Three rum and cokes later Edward was wondering if Alice – and himself for that matter – hadn't misjudged Bella slightly because there was suddenly nothing shy about the girl and the blush was definitely alcohol induced now. Sure, the alcohol had also loosened Edward up, but the shy and timid girl he had said hello to a couple of hours ago had completely disappeared. In her place was a fucking confident and flirty vixen of a goddess and Edward could admit to himself that he was smitten.

By aid of the first round of rum and coke the conversation had picked up pretty easily. Opting for a little privacy, they were seated at the kitchen counter, away from the music and noise so they could talk without having to yell.

Quite a few lessons into his Bella Education Edward was baffled and intrigued by the mass of contradictions that made up Bella Swan. She hated the rain and the cold but had still opted to move from Arizona to Washington; her skin was pale although having lived in Phoenix almost all her life; she could move an arm as gracefully as an imaginary woodland fairy but confessed to not being able to walk across a flat surface without tripping; she was passionate about music but had no rhythm and could not carry a tune to save her life; she described herself as plain and claimed to have never attracted attention unless when she made her fool of herself, yet Edward could not remember ever seeing anyone who could rival her in beauty.

After the fourth serving of rum and coke Bella slid of her stool, stumbling slightly and giggling, looking all adorable and shit. Edward's breathing hitched when she placed her small hands on his thighs and leaned in close and once again looking up at him through her lashes.

He gulped and nervously licked his lips, mentally telling himself to man up and close the distance between them and just kiss her. It seemed pretty obvious that she wanted to but he couldn't help but fear that he was reading the situation completely wrong and the last thing he wanted was to scare her off. Shit, why didn't someone write a manual on this stuff?

Just as the frustration began to take over for Edward, a pair of heavenly warm lips crushed against his own.

Holy shit.

It did not take a whole second for Edward to realize that kissing Bella was completely different from kissing Alice.

Bella's lips were soft and warm and moved in the most perfect way against his own. She tasted of rum and coke and…cherries?

His arms found their own way around her, pulling her closer so she was standing between his legs, pressed dangerously close to his growing erection. One overload of sensations coursed though him when Bella pulled back a little but never breaking contact. Her tongue ran lightly over his lips and purely by instinct he mimicked her actions. Their tongues met hesitantly in a slow dance with the hint of an underlying frenzy due to erupt at any time.

Edward gasped when he felt her small hand sliding slowly upwards on his upper thigh. Her warmth radiated through the denim of his jeans and he groaned into her mouth, attempting not to shift his body slightly so that her hand came in contact with his cock. Wait, Edward squeezed his eyes shut and attempted to collect his thoughts just a little. Why was he attempting not to do that again?

Before he figured it out, her hand moved to rub his cock through the thick fabric and he gripped the fistful of her hair in his hand harder, crushing their lips even further together. He wanted to consume her, inhale her and possess her.

Loud laughter filling the kitchen distracted them and they broke apart panting. Edward tried to focus on something else than Bella and the sensations shooting through his body, all ending up in his groin, but was unable to. Ignoring whoever had come into the kitchen, he slid down from the stool and held out his hand to Bella, who hid her blush behind a curtain of deliciously soft hair.

"Come on, let's find some privacy somewhere," he said, leading her out of the kitchen.

"Can we go to your room?" Bella asked, biting into her plumb bottom lip. Edward groaned at the sight and pulled her close, needing to kiss her again and possibly nibble on that lip too. After a minute he pulled back and had to take a few seconds to remember what she had asked.

"Yes, my room is this way." He led her up the stairs to the second floor. It was deserted which made it less urgent to get to his room.

She surprised him by pushing him back against the wall and grabbing the back of his neck, pulling him down for a heated kiss as she fisted her hands in his hair. Edward wasted no time, crushing her against his body, getting extremely distracted by the fucking fantastic way her soft curves felt under his inexperienced but very eager hands.

Edward was being the perfect definition of a teenage boy. His adventurous hand reached the shores of Boob Land and he almost came under the overwhelming sensations of touching her and her touching him. Wait, he was a teenage boy so would it be okay to just cum in his pants?

Nah, probably not.

It would be embarrassing and she wouldn't want to be doing this again. Wait, would she want to do this again regardless if he came in his pants or not. Shit.

"Edward?"

He looked down at an amused face and attempted to collect his thoughts. "Huh. Um…y-yes?"

Bella giggled softly. "You stopped kissing me and had a really funny look on your face. – Like you were concentrating really hard on something."

Edward blushed a little. How the hell was he supposed to concentrate on anything right now?

"Maybe I can distract you from whatever it is you're thinking about, though," Bella smiled playfully.

Edward's brain didn't register her words, it only sent an urgent command to his eyes to zero in on her lips, teeth sinking into the bottom one. He groaned, leaning in to bite into her lip again too, sliding his tongue against it lapping up as must of her taste as possible. But Bella came trough – distracting him from his own mind.

The sound her unzipping his jeans was so loud in his ears, even louder than his own muddled thoughts running amok as well as the music from downstairs. She had already unbuttoned the button and he was sure he was going to combust the moment her fingers touched his cock because fuck his own hand and internet porn did so not compare to Bella having her hand in near vicinity of the most painful erection he had ever had.

One of her fingers teasingly ran the length of his cock and he felt her smile into the kiss as he forced himself to think about dead baby seals, Emmett's hairy ass and his parents having sex to avoid cumming on the spot. Shit, that would be embarrassing.

"Bella…" he moaned, not entirely sure if he was encouraging her or not. But fuck, it felt good. Like brain-imploding-and-muscles-melting-and-fucking-angels-singing good. That kind of good.

Bella's hand wrapped around Edward's erection, sliding his jeans and boxers down just a little. The kiss ceased but their mouths didn't move apart as she slowly slid her hand up and down his cock and he breathed heavily into her mouth.

When she slid her thumb across the tip Edward thrust his hips forwards before – loudly – slamming both his left hand and his head back against the wall. He watched in a near daze as Bella nervously looked around to see if anyone had heard him.

"Um, you room?" she questioned.

Edward pointed at the door and released a big sigh when she let go of him. He stood a little awkwardly in the middle of the hallway with everything hanging out before he got his feet moving. Bella waited by the door which confused Edward a little before remembering his manners and opening it for her – except it didn't open. He looked at the offending piece of wood a little confused.

"I'm really hoping that you have a key," she giggled. "Otherwise someone might be in there defiling your bed which would be a shame since you obviously should have that…uh pleasure."

Edward chuckled and fished the key out of his pocket. Shit, this girl made his brain into a mushy piece of…um, mush. He groaned mentally and wondered if hitting himself on the head would look strange.

He managed to unlock and open the door, ushering Bella inside. He turned on the light and saw her looking around for a moment before her gaze returned to him and his, considering the circumstances, still impressively hard cock which hardened even further under her gaze.

"Remind me to check out your impressive music collection," she said. "Later."

She took his hand and dragged him over to the bed where she promptly turned him so his back was facing it and pushed down into a seating position. When she dropped to her knees in front of him Edward was sure the pearly gates to heaven opened, allowing the sound of choirs upon choirs of fucking angels singing to erupt.

Bella even smiled angelically at him which was utter bullshit considering her close proximity to Edward's cock. He liked it, though.

She wrapped one hand around the base of Edward's erection, holding it still while she moved her other hand up and down his length in a rotating movement. Edward's breathing picked up and when she looked up he motioned her face closer so their lips could reconnect. He wrapped his hand in her hair, fisting the other in the bedspread.

"Oh fuck," he moaned against her lips.

Bella leaned back and caught his gaze before she dipped her head and replaced her mouth with the hand that was stroking up and down his cock. Edward let out an embarrassingly loud groan and willed himself not to thrust his hips. The sight of her pink lips wrapped around his cock and the feel…oh God, the feel. She swirled her tongue around the tip and sucked, bobbing her head up and down.

Her free hand cupped his balls, shuffling them softly and Edward was pretty sure life would cease to exist in a few seconds which was fucking bad timing, but there was no way that anything could feel this amazing without there being a big motherfucking catch like the end of the world approaching rapidly or something like that.

"Shit, shit, shit…" he cursed, struggling to even breathe. He watched hypnotized as Bella's pink tongue licked up the entire length of his cock and everything but one truth evaporated from his mind; no matter how many sad and/or disgusting things he continued to conjure up in his mind, he was going to fucking cum!

Edward's breaths shortened and his pelvic muscles tightened and he tugged Bella's head away from his cock, not having enough air in his lungs to warn her of his impending orgasm verbally. She got the hint and continued her administrations with her hands.

Edward finally let go and felt the orgasm wash over him like a tidal wave, groaning out random curses. He struggled to catch his breath fell back on the bed completely spent. He only just managed to open his eyes and see Bella find her way to his bathroom from which she later emerged with a wash cloth. She cleaned him up despite his weak protests.

"Just lay back, Edward," she giggled. "You can always repay me another time."

He smiled blissfully, thoroughly spent and entertaining thoughts of how exactly to repay her. When she had disposed of the wash cloth she joined him on the bed. Edward made an effort and tucked himself back into his boxers and jeans although he didn't zip the jeans up.

"That…" he breathed, "was fucking spectacular."

Bella snuggled into his arms and smiled. Her eyes sparkled and Edward couldn't resist her lips a second longer. They kissed lazily for a while before Bella pulled back to catch her breath.

"Can, um, can I spend the night?" she asked, teeth forever sinking into what Edward had just declared his favorite lip in the whole fucking world.

"Shit," he chuckled, in love and shit with the whole damn world. "You can move in if you want to." He traced her lips with his tongue and mentally cheered when a soft moan escaped her. "But won't your dad worry?"

"I told him I would be spending the night at Alice's," she replied a little out of breath. "He adores Alice. I think I will be able to get away with just about anything as long as I tell him that Alice is involved."

"Good to know," Edward said against his favorite lip.

"Uhu," Bella agreed.

Their lips crushed back against each other with a new intensity. Somewhere in Edward's mind – deep, deep in the back of his head where thoughts of Isabella Swan was only just beginning to seep in – he imagined a big-ass eraser erasing all evidence of the extremely lame kiss he had shared with Alice and an equally big-ass pencil, no wait – permanent marker – writing down all the details of the awesome experience tonight had turned out to be. Page one was now filled with Bella and he seriously hoped that the following pages would be filled with her as well.

Bella's amazing tongue distracted him from his mental musings and his hands slid down to grope her tits again. Edward was slightly in love with her tits already and he was mesmerized by the way they fit into his hands. Bella broke away fro air and Edward decided that air was fucking overrated so he continued a trail of kisses down her delicious throat.

She tasted better than apple pie.

Another thought suddenly struck him. No way was he ever going to tell Wonder Boy and his minions about what had happened tonight – or anyone else for that matter. But he was pretty sure that the next time someone asked him about his sex life he wouldn't necessarily look like a gaping idiot. He grinned against the creamy skin on Bella's throat and mentally high-fived himself.

Edward Cullen had fucking caught up – even if he did owe Alice and Rose, damn – and now knew what the fucking buzz was about. Memo and email received and lesson fucking learned.

Well, at least a little bit but he was sure Bella would be willing to help him out even further.


A/N: Thanks for reading. Come play with me on Twitter: d_inspiration.