Southern Fried
Rated: M
Disc: Not my men
Main characters: HBK, HHH, Matt Hardy
Mentions of: Jeff Hardy
Summary: Hunter loses Shawn in a card game to Matt Hardy.
Pairing: HHH/HBK, HBK/Matt Hardy
Warnings: Slash m/m, blowjob, brief mentions of m/m sex
A/N: This is a fic for Seraphalexiel for a fic trade. She wanted Matt Hardy/HBK, so here it is. I hope you like it!


Shawn took in a deep breath, letting it out slow and steady from his nose. "Let me… get this straight..." He began looking deadly calm- his eyes boring deep into Hunter's face. "You lost me… in a game of black jack."

"Shawn… I had to. I had twenty. I was going to get all my damn money back until Hardy pulled a twenty-one. How was I supposed to even contemplate him getting a freaken' twenty-one! All I had to bet with that he wanted was you."

"Oh how nice." Shawn said giving the younger man a very disgruntled look. "You bet me, your lover, in a card game and now I belong to Matt Hardy."

Hunter nodded his head, giving him a dejected look. "I'm sorry Shawn, I really am. But don't worry- I told him that you weren't allowed to do anything to him that you do with, or for me. This is a very limited list might I remind you and besides, it's just for a night."

"Oh, you might remind me huh? While you're in the mood to reminisce, go remember what it's like to sleep on the couch." He hissed out and threw the worst pillow on the bed at Hunter, and gave him the thinnest blanket.

"Aw, Shawn! Come on!" Hunter gave him a pleading look, looking pathetic with the blanket and flat pillow cradled in his arms. "Cut me some slack! I lost a ton of money tonight!"

The older man's face grew two shades darker as he leered angrily at his lover knowing well he could see him through the thin fabric of the blanket. Slowly and shakily he raised his hand pointing down the hallway. "Couch." He growled out. Hunter pulled off the blanket to give him a protesting pout. Shawn ignored Hunter's pout, the sad eye begging technique that usually worked, and finally watched the dejected younger man sulk out of their bedroom. Once he was gone, Shawn slammed the door angrily behind him. "How could he do that…?" He growled, clenching his jaw. "Nooo nooo- Shawn, don't get yourself angry now. You know no good will come of that." He ran his hands down his face, pulling at his skin slightly. After letting out a shaky sigh, he uttered "You get even".


"Alright Shawn. I've had enough!" Hunter slammed a UPS box down on the counter, looking at his still steaming lover who was busy making something for dinner. He had his blonde locks tied in a messy bun in the back of his head, with the usual apron he wore tied neatly at the waist. Hunter took in a moment to enjoy the sight; Shawn was glorious when he cooked. His mouth went dry, forcing him to swallow hard. "You've forced me to sleep on that damn couch for the past week- my knees, my legs- my everything is killing me. I'm sorry I lost you in a card game. It was dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I'm so sorry, and in apology I ordered all your favorite British candy that you go nuts over whenever we're in the UK."

"…Even Cadbury white chocolate buttons?" Shawn glanced over at the box from the pot of water on the stove.

"Two bags of them!" Hunter held up both bags with a hopeful smile on his face. "Do you forgive me?"

Shawn reached into the box to pull out a bournville bar, greedily unwrapping the candy bar and bit into it. "Mmm, yum. I suppose I forgive you- I am a sucker for this stuff."

Hunter instantly relaxed. "Oh thank god, I couldn't take another minute of sleeping on that damn couch. So uh… what's for dinner..? Is that bacon I smell?" He sniffed the air hungrily- the unmistakable smell of bacon was making his stomach growl. Shawn never cooked bacon for him, under Hunter's request. It was his weakness.

"Yep! It's bacon! And don't worry, it's not for you. It's for Matt. Tonight's the night he gets me, remember?"

"And you're making him bacon?"Hunter whined quietly.

"Actually, I'm making him six cheese and bacon baked macaroni and cheese. I don't make that for you, remember? "

"I would have remembered if you did." Hunter frowned watching Shawn's nimble fingers slice the various cheeses into thin strips. "…C-Can I have some of that cheese?"


"What do you mean, no?! Come on, just a little piece!"

"You said to me a long time ago that my cooking got you fat. You ordered me not to give you any unnecessary cheese or bacon." Shawn poked him with the end of the wooden spoon he was using to stir the macaroni with. "So I'm using both to make Matt dinner with. You told him I'm not supposed to do anything with him that I do or make for you."

Hunter's eyebrow twitched violently. "Point made. What did you make for me?"

"I put a TV dinner in the freezer for you." Shawn shrugged at the wounded look he got in return. "Hey, that was before you presented me with this box of all of my favorite candy. Had you given me this box sooner, I would have actually cooked you something."

Hunter stuck out his bottom lip, watching as Shawn continued to work away sliding the heavy pan full of delicious dinner that he wasn't allowed to have in to the oven. "I am going to make sure he eats every bite of that." He mumbled going over to the freezer to pull out the TV dinner. He glanced disdainfully at the Hungry Man box, not even bothered when Shawn tossed his apron over his head.

"Don't worry about it. I'm going to Matt's hotel room. He flew in special for this."

Hunter tore the apron off his head. "Wait, what?! You can't go there alone! I won't let you! I don't want you to!" He stared at Shawn's retreating figure as he headed back to their bedroom. Hunter chased after him, only to have the door slammed in his face. "Shawn, open the door." He moaned resting his head against the door.

"No, I want privacy while I change- just like I want privacy while I entertain Matt Hardy tonight. Don't worry Hunter… I won't do anything I do with you to him. You couldn't have possibly thought you were coming along on this trip."

Hunter liked this situation less and less. When Shawn came out of the door in a pair of white leather pants, an old HBK shirt with a white mesh shirt on underneath, and an old leather newsboy cap positioned jauntily on his head, Hunter's tongue stumbled over the words he wanted to say. "Shawn! What…" He paused to make agitated sweeping gestures toward Shawn's body. "Is that?!"

"You hate when I dress like this, so I don't wear things like this for you. So I figured I could wear it for Matt? Does my ass still look okay in these?" He frowned glancing down at his body.

Hunter tore the throw blanket off the back of the couch and tied it around Shawn's waist. "Yeah, and that's the problem with those damn pants- they make you look too damn good, I hate having to punch people in the face for drooling all over you!"

"Oh, so you think Matt will like them?" Shawn went back into the kitchen to check on his mac and cheese.

"Yeah, and that's the problem Shawn. You're not supposed to be showing the goods to anyone else." Hunter frowned as he watched Shawn pull out the pan of heavenly smelling dinner; dinner that he wasn't going to get to eat.

"Aww, someone's jealous." Shawn went over and patted Hunter's cheek with the warm oven mitt still on his hand. "You shoulda thought about this more before you lost me in the card game." He shrugged a shoulder going back to grab the pan. "I have to leave, Matt'll be expecting me. Goodnight Hunter- don't wait up okay?"

Hunter made a face at the kiss to his cheek, watching with a big pout on his face as Shawn left their home. "I am never playing cards with a Hardy again."


When Matt Hardy won Shawn Michaels in a game of black jack, he couldn't have been happier. If there was anyone who could help him get his long gone off track career rolling again, it was the showstopper. He couldn't stop smiling then, and he couldn't bear to stop now. Thank goodness Hunter was such a risk taker. He didn't want to think of the hell Shawn gave him, but he imagined it was very messy. He checked the hotel room one last time to make sure every last item looked clean and neat. After adjusting the fake flower arrangement on the table, he went over to answer the knock at the door. "Shawn, hey!" He smirked stepping aside to let the older man in. What was in Shawn's hands and what he was wearing hadn't quite sunk in yet.

"Hiya, Matt!" Shawn smiled at him, making his way into the hotel room. He turned around to look at him, the heavy red pan in his hands was beginning to make his arms tired. "I made dinner. Where do you want it?"

"Dinner?" Matt blinked dumbly. He gave Shawn a good once over, feeling his cheeks heat up. "You made… dinner…? And… and you're dressed like that?" His normal thick southern drawl squeaked up at the end of the sentence. "Oh, let me take that! W-where are my manners?" He gulped going over to Shawn. He took the large pan, bringing it over to the table in the room. "Y-you didn't have to do this. Man, Hun'ner is gonna burry me when he finds out what… what you wore to my hotel room." All the sudden having Shawn Michaels for one night was taking a very dangerous turn. He wasn't sure where Shawn got the idea that he wanted dinner, though it smelled heavenly, or where he got the idea to dress in a pair of leather pants, though he looked heavenly in them.

"He knows." Shawn grinned, sauntering over to Matt. "He saw me make it. He saw what I was wearing. Don't be so nervous." Shawn cooed, going behind the other man. He put his hands on Matt's shoulders, rubbing them a bit. "You're so tense."

"He knows?" Matt sputtered. "God Shawn! I'm gonna be out of a job- between this and Jeff bein' an idiot like usual I'm doomed!"

Shawn made a face, turning Matt around to face him. He put his hands on Matt's face, stroking his cheeks. "Calm down, you. You're not doomed. Hunter said I'm allowed to do anything with you that I don't do with him- remember? He told you. His rules, not mine. Unfortunately I keep a list of the things I'm 'not allowed to do', so the joke's on him."

Matt bit his lip, finding his eyes drifting downward to Shawn in his leg hugging pants. "He did tell me but… I thought he was jokin'. I have a hard time believing Hun'ner doesn't want you wearing those pants. I'm pretty sure you in those pants are one of the sexiest things I've ever seen."

"He doesn't like me to wear them because too many people find them oh so sexy. So, since I don't wear them for him, I'm wearing them for you. Get it?"

Matt slowly nodded. That had to be a very short list of things Shawn could do for him. But so far, he was lucking out. Shawn brought him dinner in a pair of sexy pants, this was already more than he was expecting for the night. "What did you make for dinner?"

Shawn brightened up, heading over the table to lift the lid. "My famous six cheese baked macaroni and cheese- with bacon."

The younger man's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. "I didn't know you were a cook." He murmured following the scent of the delicious dinner as if he was unable to resist. He stared down at the pot of macaroni and cheese with its bubbling layers of perfectly cooked cheese with the ends of what looked like shell pasta poking out of it. He couldn't see the bacon but he imagined the thick pieces nestled in deep within the layers of cheese and pasta. "Hun'ner doesn't let you make that?" He whispered in an incredulous tone.

"Nope. Too fattening for him." Shawn shrugged looking down at it. "I figured with you being a good old southern boy, you'd love a pot of good old fashioned mac and cheese."

Matt nodded vigorously. "Oh yes, I… God, Hun'ner needs to lighten up. There's somethin' wrong with him for denying this." He took a seat at the table watching as Shawn spooned out a big plate of the gooey delight. He let his mind wander briefly to what it would be like to have Shawn like Hunter was lucky enough to have, cook him a meal like this every night of the week. He pictured Shawn with his apron and his hair pulled back, greeting him at the door with a big smile. He sighed at the little fantasy, idly pressing his fork into his dinner. He began to eat, moaning at the taste. "Oh yeah, he's a big freaken' idiot. I woulda never bet you in a card game Shawn, you're too good to lose."

"Oh, believe me I know." Shawn looked over from his side of the table. "I was sure to rub it in his face. You look a million miles away- you doing alright over there?"

"More than alright- this is the best night I've had in a long time, Shawn. Thank you so much. I just wanted to ask you some advice on my career and what I should be doing to get it back on track, but here you come with your pants and this dinner… I just… Damn." He sighed playing with the fork a bit. "Thanks, Shawn. You really made my evening."

Shawn blinked at him, the corner of his upper lip twitching. Here he thought he was going to be subjected to a night of perversion, and Matt Hardy has the nerve to be a sweet, innocent man? Where was the fun in that? He was looking forward to having a night off from Hunter. "You have me for one whole night to yourself, and all you could come up with was career advice?" He finally got out looking miffed. "What do you want to do to me, Matt Hardy?"

Looking across the table into Shawn's blazing blue eyes, he gulped hard. "Thank you for the great dinner?"

Shawn gave him a flat look. "Really? That's all you can come up with?"

Matt nodded quickly. "Yes. Yes that's it. I'm sorry for not being more creative but- where are you going?" He blinked watching as Shawn sank down on the ground beneath the table.

"Hush up and eat your dinner."

"A-alright." Matt felt hands on his thighs, and what felt like Shawn's mouth on the crotch of his jeans. "Ho!" Matt jerked his legs up in surprise. "Oh god, Shawn! I do not believe Hunter doesn't let you give him blow jobs."

Shawn unzipped the fly of Matt's pants. "Of course he does." He reached in, pulling out Matt's shaft. "Are you going to tell?"

"No." Matt said quickly.

"Then get back to eating dinner."

"Yes sir." He nodded vigorously, stabbing some more macaroni with his fork and trying to keep still as he felt Shawn's hot mouth on him. His heart beat quickened at the amazing taste in his mouth, and the incredible mouth sliding up and down his hardening cock. His fantasy of a domesticated HBK came back. He pictured Shawn in his apron, giving the exact same blowjob. What a wonderful life that would be, if Shawn was his. He reached down playing Shawn's lovely blonde hair as he ate, letting his mind continue with the fantasy. Soon enough, he finished his plate just as Shawn finished him off. He bucked up into the older man's mouth, coming into waiting blonde.

Shawn drank down what was given to him, reaching up on the table to take a napkin to wipe his mouth off with. He looked up at Matt slumped back in his chair with a look of satisfaction on his face. "How was dinner?"

"Amazing." He drawled out. "Really amazing, in fact. Better than I could have ever imagined, Shawn. You just… I… just… Hun'ner's a lucky man and it's not fair." He finally got out and balled up his fists.

"Sometimes he forgets that." Shawn carefully got back up to his feet, whipping off his pants. "Come on now, we're not finished." He reached down to take Matt's hand, motioning toward the bed.

Matt was beyond questioning what activities were on Shawn's can do list. He followed behind Shawn like an eager puppy, falling onto the bed with him.

Tangled limbs and two sweaty bodies laid beside each other in the darkness of the hotel room. Matt looked over at the older body beside him with his curves and tattoos, beautiful blonde hair splayed out over the stiff pillows. He reached out, pulling some of the hair from Shawn's face. "Hunter doesn't let you top, huh?"

Shawn shifted to his side, smirking at Matt. "Nope, never. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure." He reached out trailing his finger over Matt's lips. "You gonna tell on me?"

"Never." Matt murmured in a hushed voice. "Besides, it was totally legal according to the rules on the list."

Shawn gave him a wink, slowly sitting up in bed. "I have to shower and get out of here before Hunter gets suspicious. But listen, I will help you with your career. Come find me at the show, and we'll go over what direction you should go in."

"Thanks Shawn." Matt murmured watching as Shawn got up to gather his clothes. "For everything. You're amazing, this really has been one of the best nights of my life."

"You'll have to beat Hunter at card games more often."He teased leaning in to kiss Matt's lips. "Go back to bed. I'll see you Monday."

"Bye Shawn." He said softly, watching the older man head off to the bathroom. He uttered a soft sigh sinking back into the covers. Shawn Michaels was far too good for Hunter that was for sure. "Big jerk, losing Shawn in a card game like that." He mumbled all the while idly wondering if Hunter was a poker player.