Alright, so I've decided that lately I've been far too introspective in my fic, so I issued myself a little challenge: to write a fic that was almost entirely made up of dialogue. I did manage to do it. And so this fic is entirely dialogue, except for the last line. It is also fairly silly. Written for the jello-forever January challenge, New Beginning. Hope you enjoy. Let me know if it's hard to follow.
I may have played fast and loose with the prompt a bit.
Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. I'm just borrowing.
Back to the Beginning
"I can't believe I thought this was a good idea. Why do I ever think things that involve you will ever turn out well?"
"Come on Lisbon, don't be like that… This is fun."
"Right. Sure it is. Every time Jane. Every time you come up with an idea, I'm the one who's stupid enough to think that in executing it you might actually be capable of following some kind of rules."
"Well now you're just being silly."
"I'm sorry, I'm being silly?"
"Yes Lisbon, you are. One, you're far from stupid. And two, it's not like this is a big deal. It's certainly Nothing to get so worked up about."
"I'm not getting worked up! I'm just frustrated. This is so typical of you Jane. You say you're going to do one thing, and then you go and do another. Every single time I turn my back you inevitably take that as an invitation to go and do something insane when I'm not looking. And then I have to deal with it later!"
"I'm sorry Lisbon, but that's ridiculous. You've been facing me this whole time so I don't see how I could possibly be doing anything behind your back."
"Stop being so literal!"
"Ah yes, because of the two of us I'm the one who's known for being overly literal."
"Shut up. I am not overly literal. And you know what I meant. This right here, this is a metaphor, a metaphor for our entire relationship. I sit here doing things the way they're supposed to be done, the way society expects them to be done, and you just sweep in with your shenanigans, your scheming and your subtle cheating and somehow end up ahead."
"Lisbon, I don't suppose it's occurred to you that superior talent might have something to do with it?"
"And how would talent come into play in this particular situation Jane, barring cheating of course?"
"Well, obviously it wouldn't in this case. But I thought you said this particular situation was a metaphor for our relationship. If that's true then I'd like to think that some of the time talent is a factor. However, in this particular situation, no, I'll grant you that talent is more or less irrelevant. I assume that's what has led to your belief that I've somehow bent the rules in my favour?"
"Damn right it is."
"Ah. And it couldn't possibly be luck?"
"Stop grinning at me like that. You're insufferable Jane, you know that?"
"If you want me to stop grinning then you should stop pouting like a child. Besides, you know you want to laugh, but you've taken it into your head that I deserve a lecture for some perverse reason only known to you."
"You always deserve a lecture. And I'm not sure why you think I love having to yell at you all the time Jane."
"Sometimes I think you do. After all, you resent anything you can't control, which explains your current frustration. No matter how hard you try, hard work and effort won't make this better for you. It infuriates you that despite all you've done, all you've achieved you're reduced to dependence on chance."
"Is that so?"
"Absolutely. You should try and relax Lisbon. You don't see me getting all worked up."
"No, but you're lucky."
"Not all the time. Oh, hush Lisbon, don't even bother. I know you didn't mean it like that. Anyways, I would point out that in most myths and legends the trickster characters often were lucky."
"So you're the stuff of legend now are you Jane?"
"You're certainly arrogant enough for it."
"Be nice. Ah ha. There's a smile."
"I'm still mad at you."
"I figured. Here, maybe your luck will change."
"I doubt it. Oh you've got to be kidding me!"
"Ah, maybe not."
"Now I'm even worse off than before!"
"I'm telling you Lisbon, you need to relax and go with the flow and maybe your luck will change. I doubt it'll make any difference now, but… Oh. Well that's unfortunate."
"There's no need to gloat woman."
"That certainly evened things up again didn't it Jane?"
"Yes, we're both effectively back at the beginning. A chance to start again I suppose."
"And this time no cheating!"
"I wasn't cheating! I'm telling you Lisbon, it was all luck. Sometimes you've just got to roll the dice and see where it takes you."
"Oh come on Jane. You don't honestly expect me to believe that at some point you didn't learn how to manipulate the dice into turning up what you want?"
"Such suspicion. You realize now that the only way I can convince you I'm not cheating would be to let you win, which given the structure we're operating under here would, out of necessity, involve cheating?"
"Don't you dare. I don't need you patronizing me. This time just play fair. Here, it's your turn."
"As milady wishes."
From his position in the driver's seat Cho repressed the urge to bang his head against the steering wheel, making a mental note to ensure that the next time the team had to go on a three hour road trip to make sure that there was something other than Travel Snakes and Ladders in the car for entertainment.