How I Treasure These Moments
I hated to see Edward so upset, and the worst thing is he won't talk to anyone about it. I've seen Esme try, and failing. Esme is so warm, loving and motherly; I've hoped she would've gotten through to him, but no such luck. She was so worried about Edward; he was her first son in her vampire life so he would always have a special place in her heart, just like he would have a special place in my heart as well. He is my son and I will always love him, so I'm going to talk him. Before I even got the chance to knock I heard Edward sigh and say "Come in."
He was sitting on his sofa with his head in his hands. I hated him in this position. "Edward please look at me." I said.
He slowly raised his head with a pair of black, tortured eyes looking straight at me.
Is this about Bella? I thought
"Yes." He whispered.
I walked over and sat beside him. I quietly started to panic as I thought Bella had injured herself again, she was already part of this family and it hurt me to think about any harm that may cause her. I of course loved her as a daughter.
"No, Bella is fine. And I'm sure she would be pleased to hear that you think of her that way." Edward answered my thoughts, with a slight smile.
I gave him a smile in return and I was relieved somewhat.
Then what is wrong, son? Does it involve Bella and Jacob?
He just nodded. I saw the pained expression that lasted less than a second. I put my arm around him in comfortand said "Would you care to tell me?"
He sighed again. "I saw Bella kiss Jacob in the woods. She said that she only did it so that he wouldn't leave and do something stupid like suicide. I of course believe her and I'm not mad at her or the mutt. Bella said the she loves him but it's not the same love feels for me. I feel like she might run away with him someday and I wouldn't blame her, but the fear and sadness is tearing me apart."
I sat quietly and listened to my son's concerns. I finally said "Edward, if you want this relationship to work, you have got to trust her. If she says she doesn't love him in the same way, she doesn't. You've got to talk to her about this, since it's tearing you apart, resolve this."
You can't imagine how much it hurts me to see you like this, son. I added silently in my head.
"But what if I'm right? What if she does want to run away with that mongrel? I don't know if I could prevent the scene from Italy again if she leaves me." Edward replied in a pained voice.
That made me angry, how could he try to get himself killed again? Does he care about his family at all? I stood up, towering him.
"How dare you say that will go off to the Volturi? Does this family mean so little to you? Do you even care what happens to us – to Esme – when you leave?" I could still feel the anger rolling of me.
Edward looked ashamed; his head was in his hands again. He sighed.
"I'm sorry, that was an unthoughtful thing to say but I cannot live without Bella, she's my life, my soul."
I try to reassure him "Son, I've personally seen how you and Bella act around each other, and I can tell you that she loves you just as much you love her. You just have to remember that Jacob is a part of her life as well; he helped her get through a tough time. Yes she loves both of you, but there are many different kinds of love, you should that by now, Edward."
I sat back down next to him, putting my arm around him; trying to comfort him. He looked up. I hoped I got through to him, I truly believed what I said. I couldn't stand to lose my son; it would break my unbeating heart. He was my first companion, my first son, and I loved him with all my being. He smiled, hearing my thoughts.
"I love you too, Ca--Dad."
I pulled him into a hug and he returned it. It touched my heart to hear him say those words that he thought of me as his father and that he loved me. I knew that before but to hear him say it out loud made me smile. Edward chuckled, I looked at him confused.
"Of course I think of you as a father, and you're the best father in the world."
If I could have cried, I would have. I am so filled will joy that I embraced my wonderful son and kissed him on the forehead.
"Thank you, son. You have no idea how much that means to me."
He smiled. "You're welcome, Dad. I guess I better talk to Bella."
I reluctantly let him go and watched him leave his room.
Oh how I treasure these moments.