~Within the confines a well-lighted tree house~

Sarina: Hey Sarina here! Since Datenshi-chan is nowhere in sight, I'll be introducing! First off, Datenshi-chan is very sorry for the late update but she does have a life to live…somewhat.

Natsumi T: Lies, she has no life…hey we should all make fun of her while we have the chance!

Kalini: I agree. Datenshi-chan is a big du—

Datenshi: -climbs inside- What's going on up here in my private tree house?

Sasuke: Apparently those three were about to make fun of you.

Sarina: -points angrily- Uchiha you big fat tattle-tale!

Itachi: So childish…

Sarina: Grr…now look what you did! Itachi hates me!

Sasuke: I don't care.

Datenshi: -sighs- Please ignore them. Anyway I hope you all enjoy this chapter in Kalini's POV!

Chapter Five: A Plight of Disconcerting Proportions

The date was Saturday, January 2nd, 2010. The current time was nine twenty one p.m. And Sarina and I had two Naruto characters, Uchiha Itachi and Sasuke standing before us in our world, in our house, in our den.

Why us? I kept asking myself. Why not someone else?

I admit it: Uchiha Sasuke is my favorite anime character and the temptation to celebrate and glomp the raven (since I now had the literal chance) was strong, but frankly I didn't want him to stay over my house like this. And these weird Nine Prophecies…this was all just a little too much to deal with.

What the hell would Sarina and I do?

Speaking of which, my aneki apparently felt the same as made clear by her next statement:

"Well turkey legs," she growled in a stress-filled tone, her grip on the black letter tightening. "This isn't good…"

"Aneki, what will we do?" I asked hesitantly. "Especially about these…Nine Prophecies?"

She looked up, her right hand going up to her chin to rub it thoughtfully, lips pursed.

"Honestly I have no frigging idea. We just have to wait and see what the others will bring…whenever that will be."

"I assume my otouto and I can reside here until further notice?" inquired Itachi abruptly.

"Yeah…about that…" Rina began slowly, moving her long soot black bangs from her eyes. "Unlike most parents in these types of situations in fan fiction (Itachi: …Fan fiction…?), they aren't conveniently on vacation for an indefinite amount of time. They will be back tomorrow night…so I don't really know what to do…"

"They have to stay Rina," I deadpanned dully, "where else would they go?"

"How 'bout somewhere not here?" she offered lightly. All three of us sent her a frigid glare. "Ok geez, I was just kidding…I do want them to stay…not like we have a choice."

"Then stop making unhelpful retarded suggestions, seriously," I growled.

Sarina is one of those people who are really intelligent, but dumb at the same time, not to mention immature. It's extremely hard to believe that I'm the fifteen year old and that she's the supposed adult eighteen year old here. She was acting right before and now she's reverted back to her impractical self yet again.

When will she grow up?

"Ok sorry…" She then turns to the weasel, thankfully going solemn mode. "I almost forgot…so which point did you guys come from?"

Itachi just gives Rina a blank stare, but remains tight lipped. Sasuke crosses his arms and looks away from us all like he couldn't care less. It was quiet again. Awkward again. Fish cakes. This was becoming so routine. Why won't either of them say anything? Are they hiding something? Maybe, dare I say it, conspiring against us? Oh wait…that was a specious assumption; Sasuke wouldn't plot out anything with his nii-san period, so scratch that.

Rina kind of pouted at the mutual lack of response, "Ok then fine…well I'm gonna make some rice."

"Huh?" I blinked and glanced at her with raised eyebrows. "Rice, why rice?"

"What, they're Japanese aren't they?" I give her a 'you're totally stereotyping' look. "Well they're probably hungry…besides that's all they both really like…haven't you seen the data books on Naruto, Kayli?"

"Stalker much…" I mumbled under my breath, wrinkling my nose in the slightest. And I'm the obsessive one? Please. She's no better.

"Data books?" repeated Sasuke, looking slightly interested.

"Oh shoot," she scowled petulantly. "Look, it just a book that has all your information on all Naruto characters, stats on ninjutsu and strength, what you like to eat, etcetera, etcetera."

Sasuke's dark eyes narrowed threateningly, obviously not liking the fact that we know that much in-depth information on him. Itachi is coldly silent and doesn't ask for further detail nor does he comment.

What is with these two? It's going to be really hard to even try to get along with either—Itachi included. I know I shouldn't expect them to be all 'hey lets be best friends forever' but still, you'd think they—or at least the red eyed weasel—could be a tad more social.

I sighed as Rina candidly skipped off to the kitchen, placed the letter and envelope on the counter, and proceeded to busy herself with retrieving the necessary materials out from the cupboard to make rice. Now it was just me, Sasuke, and Itachi.


"…So…" I begin uncomfortably, attempting to dispel the unsettling quiet in our usually tranquil household, "are you guys even hungry…?"

Neither said a word. I dropped my head depressingly. I'm sure if it were possible, I'd be having a water-fall of anime tears cascading down my chibified face right now. I always thought it'd be awesome if I could meet Sasuke but he seems so fractious and standoffish, it's hard to talk to him, Itachi too.

I uttered a big sigh.

No Kalini, don't get upset; they probably are just having a difficult time digesting the fact that they're simply anime characters, I presume, but it's hard to tell. On top of that they aren't exactly the biggest talkers in the Naruto world. I'm going to have to be kindly assertive if I want their attention. It's worth a try.

"Itachi, Sasuke…why don't you sit down instead of standing?" I suggested nicely. "You don't want to stand for twenty minutes, now do you?"

The eldest finally glanced at me in a very torpor manner, before he replied in a matching tone, "I am fine with standing."

"Are you really Itachi?" asked Sasuke suddenly, a smirk flagrant in his tone.

At once, a crimson streak flared in Itachi's obsidian orbs as he turned them on his otouto, a deep frown etched on his full lips. Sasuke stared back at him with eyes half lidded, Sharingan still inactivated, a light sneer on his pale countenance. The weasel's eyes further sharpened.

"I advise you to remain silent, foolish otouto," he warned menacingly.

Sasuke let out a humorless snort of, "Whatever."

"Huh?" I had serious confusion and 'what the hell' written on my face as I quickly pivoted my gaze from either Uchiha. "Hey wait a sec, what's going on you two?"

"Nothing," replied Itachi stolidly.

I almost, almost, rolled my eyes at him at that reply. Ugh, it's so annoying…why can't he say the truth? That was a nifty, but nevertheless, patent lie just now. Sasuke wouldn't have said what he said before hand. I guess lying is inveterate for him. It's so firmly established, so deep rooted that he naturally prevaricates most truths when it comes to himself.

Whoa that was kind of deep.

But anyway; what should I do? Should I delve further or is that too dicey a venture? Eh…probably safer to shut up lest I possibly get Mangekyou-ed. I will NOT be tortured, damnit.

"Yo, imouto!"

I jumped nearly a foot in the air at the spry and too loud voice next to me. I glared at Rina, who smiled nonchalantly at me.

"What do you want baka?"

"Food will be done soon." She blinked once and oscillated her obtrusive gaze to Sasuke, brown orbs narrowed in an almost blank manner. "…I don't like that bland, smug look on your face…"

He turned a jagged glower on her and she flinched noticeable. I never thought I'd see Rina look so scared…then again, this was Sasuke. Still…he's so awesome.

"What got up your mean ass?" she mumbled audibly enough for him hear.

My inane aneki had gone over the edge because at those words, Sasuke, faster than white lighting, had snatched her by the collar of her pink jacket and had viciously yanked her body to him.

"S-Sarina!" I gasped in delayed astonishment as he lifted her slightly off her feet so that she was airborne.

Her face was twisted in painful agony and she choked feebly, kicking her legs weakly, scratching at the powerful hands that were at her throat. Real fear for my aneki trespassed on me; I didn't want to see her hurt!

"Sasuke please stop!" I pleaded quickly, "She didn't mean that at all! She's just stupid like that!"

"I'm—right—here—you—know!" she grunted in a wheezing pitch.

Either way, Sasuke ignored me and still held her aloft, glaring daggers at her. He looked seriously irked and I think it was due to the fact that he couldn't kill Itachi at this moment even though he was standing a measly yard from him; this was most likely a way he channeled his malignant fury. Even so, that does not give him the excuse to take it out on my impotent aneki!

"Otouto put her down," Itachi ordered frostily. "She and her imouto are doing us a great favor by allowing us to dwell here."

"Shut up you bastard," hissed the raven hotly, "I know that very well."

"Then release her."

Sasuke opened his clenched hand that held the front of her jacket and she fell, barely catching herself on her feet; she half kneeled down, panting heavily.

"You are annoying," Sasuke evinced tetchily to Rina.

Hate to say this, but I actually have to agree with him there. She can be a bit of a pain in the ass. But she's still my aneki nonetheless.

Rina coughed a few times before she reproachfully glared at him and snapped, "Maybe so, but really, you have to throttle me?" He didn't answer her, not because he didn't have a reply, but rather, he clearly didn't want to speak with her any further.

I shook my head and went to my baka aneki, righting her back on her two feet. She was rubbing her reddening (and bruising) neck, cursing up a raging storm under her breath at Sasuke, but for once, I won't hit her for it. But really, it was partially her fault—she set herself up for it.

Idiot needs to learn how to keep her mouth shut sometimes.

After the hectic incident and until the rice was done, we had all just resided in the den area. I wondered how long it will take to get used to all this…quotidian quiet.

Man…I could be reading my lovely SasuNaru yaoi right now, but no, if I read it in front of Sasuke, he'd probably strangle me next…well maybe not but still. So I was pouting as I sat on the futon-couch with my arms folded over my chest, thinking about the yummy-ness of yaoi. Hehehe…oh sorry about that…I'm such a perv…

Rina was attempting to get both Uchiha (yes this means Sasuke) to talk again and she had yet to succeed. The beginnings of a perturbed frown tweaked the corners of her lips. I highly doubt they will say anything around each other. I believe if we can get them separated, they would perhaps be more willing to open up. But…how—


"Ah, the rice is done!" cried Rina ebulliently, eluding her frustration. "It's about damn time too. I'll fix your bowl for you Itachi…" She looked at Sasuke with slighted eyes, "…And you too…I suppose…"

"Hn," he gave as his emotionless reply.

Rina scoffed and headed back in the small, white kitchen and scathingly retorted, "Whatever that means."

In a short five minutes, their bowls were completed and placed at the huge dark mahogany table in the dining area adjacent to the kitchen. She beckoned them to come over with a simple gesture. Both resigned themselves to her hospitality and went over to dining room.

As I watched them go, I noticed something abnormal with the way Itachi walked. His gait…it was vaguely unsteady…and to my immediate knowledge, all Uchiha have wonderfully elegant grace in their pace. But I didn't say anything, eschewing the notion for now. Instead, I grinned in amusement as she politely pulled a chair out for both of them.

Hah, reverse psychology in the working. Good job Rina. Or maybe she was too dense to realize her actions…yeah that's probably the case actually. I'm giving her way too much intelligence credit there.

"Hey Kayli do we have any chopsticks?" she called suddenly.

"…How the hell would I know?"

"Well…I don't think they like the spoons…"

"They're using spoons?" I asked blankly, getting up to go to the dining room. "Why didn't you give them the almighty fork? Or even a spork?"

"What is it with you and anything fork-like…" she sighed lifelessly.

I said nothing and observed the somewhat comical scene with Itachi and Sasuke attempting to use their first American utensil. Aw total Kodak moment.

The elder was gazing intently at the silver spoon with a tiny frown as he tried to figure out its purpose; I could perceive the black question mark above his head. Sasuke glared bluntly at his, as if demanding it to tell him how to use it. They look like cute little toddlers trying out their first eating utensil.

I giggled to myself; why didn't they just ask?

"Itachi, Sasuke…stop looking at the spoons like that," groaned aneki, voice leaded with pure exasperation, "it's kind of creepy…"

"How do you employ this?" inquired Itachi, sounding genuinely curious. Who would have thought?

"All you do is scoop up some rice and then once you have a good amount, you put it in your mouth," answered Rina patiently, maternal kindness intoned in her voice. I doubt she could ever seriously get frustrated with Itachi no matter what he did.


The weasel applied her clarification and successfully completed it, stuffing a generous amount in his mouth, masticating the substance leisurely. Rina looked like Christmas had come again when she watched him do that. I literally rolled my eyes at her gleefully expression. What-a-fan-girl. Not that I can talk. Oh wait…that actually gives me a grand idea.

"Hey aneki, c'mere I need to talk with you."

"Oh?" Rina turned to me, an inquisitive gleam sparking in the muddy pools of brown, "Ok…" She followed me back into the miniscule den, "So what is it?"

"I propose a contest," I proudly yet quietly proclaim, "of who can have the least amount of fan-girl moments?"

Her eyes lit up at the rigorous challenge it posed and she grinned toothily.

"Oho…I accept this proposal. We need rules though."

"I already pre-meditated them. You are only allowed three free fan-girl moments, but after that, you can have no more than ten or you have to—" I pondered for a half a minute, "—or you have to be my slave for a week."

"Fine. If you fail, then you must wear short skirts to school for a week."

My jaw dropped in decisive horror. "B-But I hate skirts!" They are the ultimate wicked of wickedness!

"I know," she said unconscientiously.

"Evil. You are evil."

"I know that too. Is Diego still outside?"

"Yeah, he wants to sleep outside tonight."

Our dog is really weird; sometimes he wants to sleep in the grass outdoors in the backyard, yet most of the time he spends his days inside. We'll have to introduce the Uchiha brothers to him tomorrow so he doesn't think they're muggers or something. That would not end well…not for the brothers but for Diego.

Imagine that… The Uchiha brothers versus the pit-bull Diego—ding ding we have a winner! The battle concludes with one Diego in a pile of itsy bitsy Diego confetti. That's a morbid thought for you.

"Kayli," Rina whispered softly, eyes darting sideways to kitchen, "check on them right now and see what they're doing."

"All right."

With ninja stealth—not really—I casually waltzed into the starch white kitchen and take a careful glimpse at them. They are saying nothing to each other. Sasuke was using the spoon correctly now. He's so cute…too bad he's giving the death glare to Itachi, sort of ruined it. But still, I can't help but find it endearing. Please don't kill me Itachi fans; I can't help but still like him even after knowing all he's done.

I went back to Rina. She delivered to me a gaze of repressed anticipation.


I sighed lowly and announced quietly, "The chances of Sasuke taking a crack at killing Itachi in his sleep are a definite probability."

"Seriously? How are we supposed to live with them if it's going to be like that?" she groaned, slapping a hand to her forehead in obvious frustration. "And let's not forget our parents."

"We'll cross that broken bridge when we get there."

"Ok but school? What are we going to do with them when we go to school?"

I shrugged. "You're smart in that area. You might have no common sense but ya got book sense."

"Whatever," Rina gave me a playfully annoyed shove. "Well in the words of Mark Twain: Challenges make life interesting; however, overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. By that I mean,we will just have to do our best to adjust and accommodate Itachi and Sasuke into our lives."

"Yeah, but you are a total geek to quote something like that," I replied drearily, pointing out her erudite ways, "it's no wonder why all your friends call you a nerd. You kinda are."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Let's check on the prick-ish Uchiha again."

We ended up checking on them ten minutes later due to discuss the terms off the contest and what qualified as full-fledged fangirly-sportsmanship and when we did go, both Uchiha had finished their meal.

"Thank you," said Itachi respectfully, giving my aneki and I a curt bow from where he sat.

We both stared at him. He stared back expectantly. The lethargy of Japanese custom caught up to both of us and, in tandem, we politely bowed back to him.

"You are welcome," said Rina placidly. She was obviously trying to be exceedingly calm now around him now that the contest we made was in effect. Wonder how long that will last.

Sasuke grunted a brusque "Hn" followed by a solid nod and merely stood up from his chair. Well he's never been that polite before…can't expect him to be now can you?

The elder Uchiha sophisticatedly scooted back in his chair and rose from the table, moving aside. And then it happened. A giant red squid burst into the living room and gobbled us all up! Ha, nah, just kidding—something even worse than that actually happened. And that's pretty bad if you think about it.

Itachi had been on his feet one moment, one transient instant, but, with an incredibly violent cough, he collapsed hard on his knees on the carpeted flooring, his hands flying to his mouth. Of course before I could even physically react, Rina had rushed to him with inhumane swiftness and was at his side, bent over him, visceral concern and fear tarnishing her face. Her speed was equivalent to how fast light travels. Not even joking.

"Itachi, what's wrong?!" she asked frantically, even though she and I both knew the likely cause.

He said nothing as additional anemic coughs over came him, shaking his thin body like a frangible leaf. I could vaguely see leaking through his closed fingers shielding his mouth the deep scarlet liquid known as blood. His eyes were shut tightly during the volatile coughing fit and he was fully bent over in an excruciating sitting bow.

Rina's face was on fire with unadulterated trepidation, her hand uncertainly on his shoulder, wanting to do something, anything to comfort him. I stood there wide eyed, only watching, paralyzed with sheer horror at what was taking place. I could feel the prickly emotion of anxiety creeping up my spine like a creepy crawler—gross to the max.

Oh dear great Kami's above, what the hell do we do?! Sure Sasuke's my favorite, but I never wanted Itachi to die either! In regards to the raven—I glanced at him. He had a faint smirk on his features as he observed Itachi…but why? I mean I know he hated Itachi and was doubtless reveling in the sight of him in serious pain, but he didn't know the true cause of his sudden paroxysm…did he?

"I knew you couldn't hide it," he stated haughtily.

"Hide it?" I repeated. "Sasuke what are you—"

I was cut off by Rina's piercing cry of, "Itachi! What the heck is this?!"


"Look!" she hissed angrily, "look what he's been concealing!"

I moved closer and saw that Itachi had leaned into Rina's body for physical support and his legs had been stretched out a bit from underneath him and she had lifted up the back of his Akatsuki cloak. I saw that she was pointing at the back of his left thigh; there was a large vertical split there and I could just make out dark coagulated blood coating the pant cloth.

Jaded recognition impaled my senses.

Oh sweet sugar cookies…that's the lesion Sasuke inflicted on Itachi when he chucked that massive rigged shuriken! That must be what Sasuke thinks is crippling him and, concurrently, causing his sudden pain.

How wrong he is.

"You mean to tell me that you've been walking around injured like that? And carried my fatass?! Are. You. An. Idiot?!" Rina grounded out, looking sincerely furious, "I can't believe you, of all persons, would do this!"

Er well…so much for my assumption that she could never get mad at Itachi…and I know it's not germane to the situation but, total laugh out loud moment; she called herself a fatass in front of Itachi! She's so gonna feel the repercussions of her incredible stupidity later.

"I thought you Uchiha were smart as hell?!" she continued ranting like a person gone mad. I think she has to be honest.

The pernicious coughs temporarily subsided and Itachi conveyed a concrete glare to my infuriated aneki via a complement of deadly, crimson Sharingan. I don't think he liked being called an idiot. Hmm…perhaps I should call the burial services to come get her body in case he decided to do away with her stupid self. Nevertheless, I was decidedly impressed by one thing; she had amazingly managed to keep from mention his disease aloud which shocked me.

"Why the hell didn't you say anything sooner you—you…!" Rina couldn't even finish her sentence, her antipathy too great. Her teeth were gritted so tightly that I thought they'd shatter if she grinded them any further.

"Aneki calm down. I'll go and get some bandages," I announced obligingly, heading for the stairs.

I'm surprised by my aneki…usual she keeps her head but she is completely flipping a hot pancake on me. Well this is Itachi and anything concerning him is a big deal for aneki especially since he's here in our world where she could actually witness it firsthand. And even though we could bandage his leg…how the hell would we solve the predicament revolving around Itachi's disease?

~Within the confines a well-lighted tree house~

Itachi: -sighs- Why me?

Datenshi: Aw poor Itachi! Damn you Sasuke.

Sasuke: Hn…

Natsumi T: You're not about to go massive rant are you now?

Datenshi: No…

Kalini: Thank Kami-sama for that. Wow it was all in my POV! I'm totally different from you huh Sarina-nee-chan?

Sarina: -sleeping- Snore…

Kalini: -growls- That retarded lazy ass. Anyway, well good news is Datenshi-chan has some of the next chapter typed. Hopefully she'll be able to finish it soon.

Datenshi: Sorry if things are moving too slowly but it's for a reason…I don't like to rush things and I want to develop their friendship…so I'm going to give a spoiler just because: there will be more Naruto characters with the coming of the Second Prophecy. Anyhow, thanks for reading and please review.

By the way, all chapters have been edited since 4/25/09.