To those of you who have kept up with the story of Sydney, thankyou!
56 years later
I woke up by the waterfall, in the Seychelles- it had been my home for 55 years and 3 months now. I realized that I had just been dreaming about my past life, right from how I met Carlisle to how I discovered this marriage wrecking power.
After the event I became heartless, and vindictive and to all intents and purposes, a siren. I went around luring men to their death, simply because I couldn't have mine. I had changed. Quite dramatically as well. I had stopped aging over 300 years ago; I just didn't know it because I frequently washed my self of my age. Turns out form the beginning it was pointless.
I looked down at my burnt, forever scarred hands; the burns running right over my body. I refused to heal myself with water, because I deserved this. This was my punishment for being who I truly was. This was my reminder of all the curse and hate I had built up and accumulated over the century. My body may have been massacred in a way, but my memories weren't. I remembered what I inflicted on others to get each burn.
I looked down into my reflection and saw the scalded, blistered skin that was my face. I knew that every burn killed like a thousand swipes of a knife and had sulfuric acid poured into the cuts. It even hurt to cry these days. My tears were pure poison and they scorched the already devastated skin. Beside, what right had I to cry? They were tears of self pity and self loathing. The real punishment was that I couldn't cry. My tear ducts had been in the fire also, so the pain I speak about was both physical and metaphorical.
I turned away from my watery mirror and the ugly beast I had embodied. I tried to go back to remembering a time when I wasn't like this, yet I couldn't. I wasn't able because every time I did all I saw was the beautiful face of my Edward. That looks of horror and fear…and hatred for me. My heart clenched like a hand breaking through my rib cage and mashing it in its fist.
I stood up and walked over to the great Masubi tree. I didn't know if that was what it was called, but it was my name for it. In the bark of the tall and ancient tree I scratched my desperate days here.
I put my nails on the bark I pushed them down to make a mark. I took the pain, because it was nothing compared to the hungers I felt here.
There were only two hungers here. Real hunger, for food, and the other hunger. This one was a lot harder to fight. It was the urge to use my powers.
I swore the day I came here I would be power celibate. By far it's the safest choice, but under no circumstances the easiest. I won't even ghost anymore.
I turned from the tree and looked around at the same enclosed jungle that I've been staring at fro half a century. I was growing tiresome of it, but I could care no less. On the ground where I slept, was a pile of charred kindling. Although I may not use my powers consciously, something told me that when I relive my memories, the use of them just…slips out.
I sat down in that very spot and looked to the waterfall, so mighty and powerful. It brought calm and a sense of lethargy. How quick the lake did that always reminded me of Jasper. The pain I caused him and Alice. If I had any regrets about any of the destruction I had caused, it was them. Alice had no chance to find out-until it was too late. Jasper was ashamed of himself. He tried coming after me once and killing me for what I had done, but I simply smiled and walked off into the sunset. Alice never came, nor did anyone else. No one ever saw the after math of my revenge. I doubt Alice ever looked, but I could only take comfort in the hope that she and Jasper worked things out. And Rosalie.
My best friend Rosalie. I had care left enough for her that Emmett and she never tasted my vengeance. I think that she was secretly thankful of my little compassion. Esme and Carlisle saw what was coming for them and ran before I managed to intoxicate them.
Carmen and Elizar weren't fortunate though. Neither were the human couples.
I cast myself away to here when my conscience caught up with me. My shame and regret and guilt overwhelmed me, letting one get away. The ultimate crime I committed though was that I went back in time and saved the Volturi. I collected their ashes and mixed them with venom, effectively bringing them back. The Cullens have never been safe since. I wouldn't be able to change that now. Not unless I went nuclear.
It was discovered years ago, by a human who found some hungry vampires that nuclear radiation makes the venom mutate and reverse itself. Yes they become humans once more. Apart from, when they did, they instantly died. The human body can't handle the change to a vampire, let alone going through that pain twice. I forgot to mention that changing back to a human was more painful than being changed in the first place.
I shut my eyes and fought through the images of ache and loss. There was a huge noise of snapping behind me and I turned to see the great Masubi tree falling towards me. About time.
I knew there was a vampire behind it, but I only had partial sight these days. I could see, but only outlines, not colours. I didn't flinch as it fell towards me. God had finally been merciful and was letting me out of purgatory. The tree came within millimeters of my face before it was hit back. I opened my eyes to see more trees falling, as though they had all been hit by one angry vampire. Vampire. That made me scared. For once in years I was scared. I had tried to stay hidden, and here one was, finding me. I was probably Jasper. He had sworn death on me if he and Alice weren't fixed.
I was yanked up, quicker than I care for and had a tree hurled at me, sending me back into a rock. It hurt, but no sound left my lips. I was thrown across the clearing into a tree and fell to the floor. The cloak I had been wearing to hide from the world in my dark days slipped off and there was an audible gasp from my attacker.
They pulled me up and I saw their face close to mine, looking intently at what they uncovered.
"I wanted to punish you, I need to punish you" the voice was wavering, unsure, yet trying to find a determination.
"The loathing you feel can't be worse than what I feel for myself" my voice was hoarse and crackly. I hadn't spoken in 55 years.
"Really?" the voice unbelieving.
"I have been here for 55 years; these burns are 55 years old; I can't see well, I don't eat, I don't use these evil abilities. I haven't bathed in 55 years. Tell me you could do worse." I replied lifelessly.
"No, no, NO!" the voice cried. "You fight me! You use your powers, I want to fight!" it raged.
"I don't care" I whispered. "Do to me what you must, but expect no response" I closed my eyes where I was, praying that the thing in front of me had compassion enough to kill me at the end.
"Do you know who I am?" the voice inquired. I shook my head.
"But I'm guessing your not Jesus" I joked. That was the first joke I had made in almost 70 years.
The voice chuckled in spite of itself and started pacing.
"no, You ruined my life" it started to work up its anger now "Destroyed my family, hurt innocent people. Then just ran off."
There was nothing I could say or deny. It was all true. "I'm sorry" I spoke.
"Sorry?" it laughed. "Sorry! Sorry doesn't bring back what was lost, what can't be fixed. Sorry doesn't make things ok!"
"No. it doesn't. So take your revenge and leave me in my hell."
"That would be the kind thing to do, I suppose?" a merciless laugh was ringing through the trees.
"No" I corrected "the kind thing would be to kill me and beat my lifeless body into ant mush."
"So you'd prefer it if I did that?" it sneered.
"No. you can't repent when you're dead. At least while I', alive I can feel the pain I caused."
The voice had no answer for this.
"You really don't know who I am?" it was soft and strangely defeated.
It sighed. "Well after you left, you'd think you'd have taken your poison with you, but you didn't. There was still one. They still…We tried to stop…They never would listen, always trying to find…Why?"
"I have no answer" I said. The voice didn't make sense, but it deserved what little understanding I could give it.
"Liar, there must be some reason." It yelled.
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
"Especially a super woman ay?"
I nodded. "Did you know me?" I asked. It's all very well them, well him from the voice, attacking me, but was there any cause.
"Then you'll have known only my rage" My eyes felt like they were on fire. The ducts were trying to work, but nothing was happening. "But not the cause of it"
I shrugged "Fair to say I was always a hot head, but then the head got hotter. I was having fun with it, but I saw something I wasn't suppose to."
It was silent for a while.
"I refused to see reason or hear the explanation and I had a breakdown. Except my break down was more potent than a normal person's. I created a fire that consumed everything. A house, a street and a town."
My inside were wringing in grief and my voice becoming choked.
"He gave me that look, and I knew things were broken. He ran away and never came back. So I ran the other way. I went and I ruined things for other people because it made me feel good."
"So you went and destroyed marriages, only because little Sydney didn't get what she wanted." The angry man raged.
It all seemed so simply and petty like that.
"The men I prayed on were weak. They caved for their lust, and they paid the price for it. Only the vampire got away alive. Everyone else burned with their sins."
"Tell me what happened"
"I just told you" I insisted.
"No, all of it. From the beginning, Make me understand" he tried.
I shook my head, black tears finally rolling down my face. "I can't. It's too hard. It'll hurt too much"
"You owe me that at least" the voice begged. I finally nodded and started where my dream from earlier had left off.
Thankyou for reading! I'll try updating the others when I can!
Gimme your thoughts!!