Gir Shuffle
by QueenoftheSerpents

THE iPOD SHUFFLE CHALLENGE

Pick a subject to write about (fandom, character, pairing, the first thing that pops to mind, etc.)

Set your mp3 player to shuffle ALL of your songs, then hit Play.

You have from the beginning to the end of ONE song to write, based on whatever the music inspires you to write concerning your subject.

Lather, rise, and repeat for the first ten songs, no matter how ludicrous they may be!


1. "This One's For The Girls" by Martina McBride.
Gir made his way through the mall in his dog suit. He looked around, noticing all of the pretty colors in the windows as the stores prepared for their spring sales. He then saw a dog in one window, and squealed, running over and bouncing up and down. "DOGGY!!! DOGGY!!!" he squealed, causing several passers to look strangely at him. But they kept on going...after all, only a crazy person would think that a dog could talk...
Gir bounced into a pet store, looking at all of the shiny colors on display. He picked one off then tried it on. It was far too tight, and was threatening to cut off his circuits. He let out a high-pitch cough, and threw it to the side before reaching for another collar. This went on for another 5 or 10 minutes, during which there grew a giant pile of collars in the middle of the aisle. Finally, Gir found one – a bright pink one with silver hearts. "I like this one!" he declared, then popped it around his neck before walking up to the counter. "I want to buy this!" THUD.

2. "Shingo Mama No Oha Rock" by Shingo Mama.
Gir woke up at the sound of Zim moving around in their "kitchen." He squealed and ran in to join his master. "WAFFLES?!" He screeched, jumping on top of Zim's head. Zim yelped, then yelled, "GIR! Get down! There are no waffles today!" Gir felt his robotic heart break. "No...WAFFLES?!" he screamed. "No, Gir. Now then..." BUT I WANT WAFFLES!!!!!! NOWWW!!!!"
Gir continued screaming for waffles as Zim tried to explain to Gir what he wanted him to do. "No, Gir...NO, Gir!" Gir turned in circles on the floor, rocking back and forth, still screaming. "GIR!!! I am your master, and I say...no waffles! Now, behave!" Gir got up reluctantly..."Yes, master." Sniffle.

3. "Life is a Highway" by Rascal Flatts.
Zim had decided to take some time out of the house, and so he and Gir walked around their neighborhood in their Earth disguises. "You know, Gir," Zim said, "I sometimes wonder...what is it about Earthanoids? They are so..." his voice trailed off as he failed to find a word that described exactly what Earthanoids were. Gir, meanwhile, wasn't really listening; he had spotted a butterfly and was trying to get at it. "Come here, little butterfly!" he called happily, straining on the leash that Zim had him on. Zim felt Gir tugging, and tugged back. "Gir! I am having a moment here! Now listen!" "Awww...." Gir said as he watched the butterfly leave. Then... "Okie dokey!" BOOM! He was on Zim's chest, looking down at him. "I'm listening!"
"GIR! Get off me!"
Gir obediently got off of Zim, then watch Zim get up and brush himself off. "Come on Gir...let's go back home. We can ponder these humans there..."
And with that, Gir was off and running with Zim flying through the air behind him.

4. "The Snuggle Song" by Schnuffel Bunny.
Something was terribly wrong with Gir...or at least, to Zim, there was. He was just sitting there...staring. What Zim didn't know was what was going on inside of Gir's head – one of his circuits had malfunctioned, and caused Gir to begin to see things. He saw a meadow, where there were flowers and a shiny pond...and randomly, some cows, a pig and a garden gnome. He was there too, and his alternate self squealed happily at being in such a place. He ran towards one of the trees, and scurried up it like a squirrel. He cheered as he jumped off the top branch, then rocketed over the land, looking at the beautiful colors and happiness of the creatures that were there as well. He felt truly happy, like this was where he was meant to be.

5. "Somewhere" by Within Temptation.
It was raining out, so Gir and Zim were staying inside. Gir was happily watching some random kid's show, while Zim lay on the sofa, considering more options for enslaving the Earth. Then, a commercial came on. It was a travel ad; one for some nameless tropical island that apparently still had very green trees, and a clean beach. Gir watched the commercial in amazement, and as soon as it was over, he flew over to Zim. "Master! We should go on vacation to a tropical island paradise for only $1399!"
"Gir, we don't have money for Earthy things anyway...where do you propose we get the money for...a VACATION?" Zim asked, spitting out the last word as if the taste turned his tongue into ash. "Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please...." The pleads went on throughout the day and into the night, when Zim was trying to rest. He tried to cover his ears to block Gir's pleads, but they persisted. Finally, he snapped. "OK! WE'LL GO!"

6. "Dam Dadi Do" by Nightcore.
Gir had finally gotten Zim to go with him to his favorite dance club. The people there were always very happy, and never noticed when people looked odd, so Zim and Gir fit right in. Zim, however, was uncomfortable at being someplace where people were all smiling as their bodies did strange things to music. "Gir...are you sure this is...normal human behavior?" Gir nodded and smiled. "Dancing is fun!" he declared. Then, he ran out onto the dance floor and began to shake his little black tail. "Weeeee!!!!" he squealed, as people moved effortlessly out of the way for him. "Come and join meee!" he called back to Zim, who was shifting his feet.

7. "Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop" by Landon Pigg.
Gir was outside, watering the plants that graced their front lawn. He hummed a cheerful tune, enjoying the prettiness of the flowers. He then heard a "woof" behind him, and turned to see a grey dog standing at the front gate. The dog stared at him curiously, and Gir stared right back. "Hi, doggy!" he said after a moment. He then ran over to the gate and started petting it. "Good doggy!" he declared, causing the real dog to wag its tail. Gir then picked up the dog – much to its surprise – and rocketed it back into the house. Zim was seated inside, then looked up. "Gir...what are you doing?" "CAN WE KEEP HER?!" Gir cried, causing the dog to yelp from the high pitched squeak. "Gir, we've been over this. You can't have pets." "Buuuuttt...." "No, Gir. Now, take that dog back where you found it."

8. "One More Time" by Daft Punk.
Gir had gotten his wish. Zim had gotten him a dancing game. He squealed with joy upon opening it, then had it set up and ready to go in under 5 seconds. He turned the TV on, and waited for the game to load. Zim then turned to walk out. "Noooo! Master goes first!" Gir declared, grabbing Zim and placing him on the mat in front of the TV. "Gir! No! Bad dog!" Zim said, trying to move. But no – Gir had him firmly on the mat. "Gir, I don't even know how to play! What is this madness!" Gir giggled. "It's funnn...do it!" Zim swallowed as he looked at the songs. "But, Gir..." Gir's eyes turned red. "DO IT!" he screeched. Zim nodded quickly. "Ok..." He selected a song, then waited for the round to start. To his horror, he found that he had chosen one of the most difficult songs as he began to step on the arrows. "Girrrr....I can't do this..." "YES YOU CAN!"

9. "Every Time We Touch [slow]" by Cascada.
Gir started crying as he dug into the Earth. Zim had done the unthinkable – he had gone into battle with Dib...only to find that it was really Gaz behind the wheel. Despite the intense invader training Zim had received, he had not been able to stand up to the little purple-headed girl. She had utterly destroyed everything – his weapons, his base, and finally, her aim found Zim. Not even Gir had escaped unscathed – he was missing an eye, and his metal skin had several holes. But it was not stopping him from giving his beloved master a proper Irken farewell – burial, then being lit on fire and sent to the Tallest in the Sky. "I love you, Master," he said sadly, covering the last part of Zim with dirt before lighting the fire.

10. "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Taken by Trees.
Gir looked up at the sky. It wasn't blue today; but instead, a bloody orange. He approved of this, and munched on his waffle. "Mmmm..." he then had a thought. "I need a taco!"
He flew to Krazy Taco, not noticing the stares he was getting. He landed in front of the counter, then looked up at the man behind it. "I want...two tacos...with EXTRA EXTRA cheese!" Gir declared. The man nodded, not really looking at him, then punched in the order. Two minutes later, Gir was headed back home, munching his taco. Zim saw him coming back, then yelled "Gir! I need you! Get in here!" Gir swallowed the last bit of taco, then zipped to Zim. "Gir, reporting for duty!" he said. "Good. Now then, Gir, we need to back up the information in the computer...it seems that Earth computers have this thing called a "computer virus" and there's one attempting to penetrate our systems...I doubt it will get through our Irken defenses..." "I WANT ANOTHER WAFFLE!!!"