The Awkward Effect

"We're all in agreement then?" Wrex's deep voice said. He was met with a bunch of nods from Joker, Kaiden, and a few other personnel, before a familiar voice broke the gathering.

"What's going on here? Why are there so many people in the cockpit?" Garrus asked, seeing the humans and Wrex all bunched up together.

"You didn't tell him?" Kaiden whispered to another human.

"What does it look like we're doing?" Wrex replied as he held up a piece of paper. "We're betting."

"On what, pray tell?"

"What else? Shepard's love life."

"…Excuse me?" the turian slowly said.

"What Wrex means is…we're discussing the Commander's…relationships to some of the other crewmembers, and whether those relationships are…growing," Kaiden slowly explained.

"Or in other words, we're betting on who he's going to bang….What?" Joker chuckled, seeing everyone look at him.

"…You're kidding, right? Not only is it not our business, but it's completely unethical!" Garrus scolded.

"Ah, quit being a whiner, turian," chuckled Wrex, hitting the ex-C-Sec officer's shoulder. "It's all in good fun. Not like we're forcing any of them into it. My money's on the female warrior, Ashley. Even I'm tempted to wrestle with her."

"I cannot believe this. We're on a mission to stop a rogue Spectre Agent; we don't have time for games like this!"

"Something wrong, gentlemen?" a fatherly voice inquired. All heads turned to see the Commander himself, walking over, a kind smile on his face.

"Nothing, sir!" Kaiden and Joker quickly replied.

"The turian isn't feeling well, that's all," Wrex lied.

"What are you talking about? I feel-" as Garrus spoke, the krogan reached behind him and with lightning speed, grabbed one of the turian's fingers and bended it back. "AHHH!"

"Garrus, you okay? Maybe you should see the doctor."

"Yes…yes, sir…I'll get right on that," groaned the turian as he glared at the grinning krogan.

"I'll walk you. Shepard," he said, nodding in the man's direction as a sign of saying goodbye. The two aliens walked away, and the group began to disperse as Shepard spoke with Joker. "Ahh quit whining. I couldn't have hurt you that bad."

"Could have given me a bit of a warning…"

"So, you want in on the bet? Kaiden keeps thinking the asari has a chance with Shepard. Some of the guards even think the commander has a thing for Chakwas. This will be the easiest credits I've even won!" the krogan chuckled.

"…Fine," Garrus sighed. "I'm in. I just know I'm going to regret this."


"Guys! Guys! Gu-WHOA!"

"What is it, human?" Wrex sighed as a young guard ran into the garage where he and Garrus usually rested between missions.

"I-I just saw Ashley and Liara walking to Commander Shepard's quarters! I think they're going to tell him they love him!"

The krogan and turian looked at one another, before pushing the poor guard down and practically trampling him to get to the elevator.

"Ow…Wait! I want to come two!"


By now, a large mass of the crew of the Normandy were following the two girls, despite Ashley's threats to stop. Wrex and Garrus ran over, joining the crowd, and looked at Kaiden.

"Is it true, Kaiden?" asked Garrus.

"That those two are finally confronting the Commander about all this? Yep. I hope you have those credits with you, Wrex."

"Won't need them. You'll be the one paying me, when all this romantic crud is over," growled Wrex.

"Quiet, both of you!" Garrus ordered, as they came to Shepard's room.

"…Ready?" Ashley sighed, trying to ignore the crowd behind them. Liara slowly nodded, and the door slid open to the crowd.

"Commander-"

"Shepard-"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…What's going on back there!?" Joker's voice asked, over the intercom.

"…"

"Is someone in there with him? If it's Ashley, you guys owe me and Wrex credits!"

"…It's not Ashley," Kaiden slowly replied.

"Damn it. Alright, I guess-"

"It's not Liara…"

"…What? Who else could it…Wait…Do you think the Commander is… gay?"

"Joker…"

"C-Commander!? Uhh…Ummm…Kaiden and the others were all betting on your love life! I told them not to, sir, but they just wouldn't listen!"

"Betting?" Tali asked as Shepard wrapped an arm around her waist. "On your love life? Imagine that."

"Indeed," Shepard said, kissing the side of his quarian lover's mask. "I…hope this doesn't hurt you too bad, Ashley, Liara. I am sorry."

"It's…no problem, Commander."

"Right…As long as you're happy, sir…"

The human commander nodded as he held his lover by her waist, and Tali was thankful her mask hid her guilty and embarrassed face. Everyone just stood there, in this incredibly awkward situation, wondering what to do now.

"…So what was that part about me being gay, Joker?"

"Uhhh…Incoming asteroid belt! Sorry, Commander! Gotta go!"

"Right. I'll talk to him about it later," the man chuckled, before looking at the mass of people. "So…who won the bet?"

"Haha! Easiest credits I ever made," Garrus laughed as he collected his credits.

END

Well…That was…good? Bad? I don't know. First Mass Effect story. You know, it's funny. In the first one, I thought of Tali as a sort of little sister or daughter. And now, in Mass Effect 2, you can have her as a love interest…It just seems so…odd, dating someone you once thought of as family.

I'm still doing it, of course. Tali is cute, and believe it or not, I actually wanted her first. Screw Ashley, I don't want some normal HUMAN! I want an alien girl!