Title: Quirks of Fate

Author: SweetlyDesolated

Pairing: Harry (Joker)/Lord Voldemort; Bellatrix/Rodolphus

Universe: Vinewood

Timing: After 'Drunken Desires': In Harry's 6th year, over Yule. He went 'home' rather than staying at Hogwarts. Takes place from the 27th of December to the 2nd of January.

More on Timing: Hogwarts' Yule break is from the 21st of December to the 5th of January. I think 'Drunken Desires,' Christmas, and a week of sex can fit in that time slot. Sue me if I'm wrong.

Warning: Slash, lemon, kinky sex lives, underage sex, language

Summary: Harry and Bellatrix bicker. A lot. The consequence? Their significant others get their wicked way. HP/LV SLASH! Lemon! Kinky!sex! {Harry's 6th year.}

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry and Voldemort… Bellatrix could be my sister. Rodolphus could just be there… But no, I don't. Everything recognizable belongs to J. K. Rowling. Everything else is mine.

Claimer: Everything (spells/charms and 'Joker' nickname) belongs to me. More information at the bottom.

"Well, fuck you Bellatrix," he stated, stamping his foot and glaring at the taller woman.

She was taken aback at his comment, and even took a half-step away from the small wizard. Upon realizing what she had done, her resolve hardened and Bella paced forward until she was leaning down, nearly nose-to-nose with the other. "I think you have that statement wrong, Potter. I don't get fucked. I fuck." She grinned as she glared down at him, her expression fierce.

One of Harry's eyebrows rose. "You fuck with what, your fingers or a dildo? That's just… And with whom do you fuck anyways, a girl or a guy?" He smirked at her as Bella growled, baring her teeth menacingly. "Oh please, you'll have to be scarier than that if you wish to frighten me. I grew up with Hermione, after all, and she is quite insane, especially during the end-of-year tests."

Bellatrix stepped further into Harry's space, forcing the younger into a wall and trapping him there with her hands to either side of his head. "You don't get it, do you? Regardless of who I fuck, I am the one in control, unlike you." Her eyes ran down his petite frame mockingly.

A frown overtook the smirk on Harry's face. One of his fingers twitched, and Bellatrix was left standing in a leather bondage outfit with her mouth gagged and arms tied from the elbow down behind her back.

Harry laughed gleefully. "I see how it is, Bellatrix!"

"I think they're on their way to a great friendship," Rodolphus murmured to his lord from where they stood across the room from the bickering duo. The two fighting were loud enough to be heard even from the distance of the hall.

Voldemort grinned slyly. "Aren't you aware Bellatrix is insinuating she wears the pants in your marriage?" He eyed the brunette standing next to him with perfectly masked glee that quickly turned into annoyance as Rudo shrugged.

"She can say what she wants, but I'll end up showing her the truth tonight. That outfit certainly has its possibilities," he responded, fading off as he ran his eyes up and down the body of his wife.

By this time, Bellatrix used her own meager nonverbal magic to destroy the gag. She then spat out a charm, Ligchorous*, that wrapped ropes around Harry's limbs and spread him eagle against a wall. It was a version of Incarcerous, but used more for sexual purposes than prisoner duties. However, Bella made the mistake to leave Harry's mouth free, and he took the time to send his own verbal hex at her that transfigured the ropes around her into snakes. In parseltongue, Harry ordered the snakes to hold her tight and to threaten with venom if she struggled.

Bella ignored the snakes, even the one that slithered over her shoulder in plain sight. That single snake wound around her neck like a necklace and posed with its neck flared as a warning. She disregarded the reptile and continued to spit spells at Harry.

He merely spoke a Shielding Spell that caught all the charms and transferred their energy into up-keeping the protection. Harry concentrated on unweaving the magic holding him in place. The moment he was free, his shield dropped and he was hit with Vestidys*, a charm that slowly removed clothing from the wearer by ripping it along the seams.

Harry blushed as his shirt fell to the floor, but finally stopped the charm when the seam to his pants was frayed to mid-thigh.

Bellatrix screamed as her charm died and tried to send another at him. She was foiled by her master. Voldemort threw up a reflecting shield before Harry, and the unknown charm was sent careening back at its castor. At the same time, Voldemort hissed for the snakes to drop from Bellatrix so they wouldn't bite the crazy woman in his ranks of Death Eaters.

"Are all your charms intended for stripping?" Harry taunted as he sauntered from behind the shield to stand next to an irked Voldemort. Bella was currently standing in her undergarments, a lacey bra with matching thong in a ruby red color. "And such bright Gryffindor colors at that, too, Bellatrix. I'm surprised, were you not a Slytherin at school?" A hand closed over Harry's mouth before he could enrage the woman any further. Bellatrix was prevented from responding by her husband hitting her with a tongue-tying curse.

"Don't be so naughty," Voldemort whispered to Harry as he tilted the teen's head back, displaying his neck for the taller man to run his mouth against.

Harry groaned and stepped back, leaning into the firm body behind him.

Bellatrix cursed vulgarly as her husband grabbed her arms and started towing her from the hall. "We'll be back eventually, my Lord," Rodolphus explained.

"Alert me when you are done; I have someone of my own to take care of," Voldemort replied. Harry shivered at the implications hidden in the Dark Lord's sentence and ground himself back all that firmly. He felt his lover stiffen against his arse and Harry grinned brightly.

Bellatrix spat at Harry as she was dragged away, and Harry mocked her with a fan of his fingers in her direction.

Voldemort sighed from his stance behind Harry. He wrapped his arms around the waist of his smaller consort and Apparated them from the hall into his rooms. With a shove, Harry was sprawled on his belly across the sheets. The man swiftly unbuttoned his robes and dropped them to the floor, leaving him standing in dark pants, a silvery-red shirt, and leather boots. "Cingocarpus*," Voldemort stated.

Harry's wrists were pulled to and held with invisible bindings to the headboard, and he had no slack in those magical ropes to struggle as Voldemort crawled up the bed behind him and finished the charm Bellatrix started. "Are you going to be kinky tonight?" Harry asked when he was naked. Voldemort pulled him to his knees and pressed his head, tilted to the side so he could breathe, into the pillows. He brushed the shreds of Harry's clothing to the floor, spread his lover's cheeks, and thrust his clothed erection against the tempting arse of his little lover.

Harry groaned as the silky fabric of Voldemort's slacks rubbed against his displayed hole. The man leaned over Harry to whisper in his ear. "You two need to learn to behave yourselves in public." This position ground him further into Harry, who moaned at the coming repercussions of his and Bellatrix's argument.

Voldemort reached under a pillow next to Harry and removed the tube of lube, left behind after their activities the night before. The man grabbed his wand and pressed the tip against Harry's entrance once he was vertical again. He muttered, "Mitipute*," and Harry winced at the empty feeling he felt inside. The spell was a gentle cleaning charm, perfect for use by gay or experimenting couples as it cleared waste from the rectum.

The tube opened in Voldemort's hands, and the man squeezed some onto his fingers with a squelching sound. The gel was cool to the touch, and Harry hissed as one finger pushed inside him, stretching him for what was to come.

"Good, you haven't completely tightened up from last night," Voldemort told Harry. The man twisted that single finger, pushed in passed his second knuckle, a few times. He withdrew that finger, chuckling when Harry tried to follow it with his arse. "Be patient," he scolded.

Without further ado, the single digit was replaced with two that started to scissor immediately upon entrance. Harry squeezed his entrance at the slight pain the fingers brought him, but one of the finger tips ran over something that had him arching his back in ecstasy, eyes rolling backwards. "There it is," Voldemort commented, and continued to tweak that bundle of nerves each time he thrust his fingers into Harry.

"Loosen up," he commanded and patted Harry's back with his unoccupied hand. Harry concentrated on releasing the tension on his muscles and was rewarded when Voldemort pushed a third and final finger in. "Just a little bit more," his lover told Harry. He worked those fingers quickly and flicked Harry's prostrate every now and then. Each time he did, Harry keened and thrust back onto the digits.

When all three were pulled out suddenly, Harry wanted to cry at the empty feeling. A moment later, the tip of Voldemort's bare, lubed erection was rubbing against his entrance. "Are you ready, my love?" Voldemort asked.

"Yess," Harry replied, a hiss on his breath.

Voldemort laughed and slowly thrust into the willing body beneath him. Harry squirmed as a gesture for the man to move faster, but Voldemort lessened his pace even more. "You are cruel!" Harry exclaimed.

"Well, we can't have a nice dark lord, can we?" Voldemort responded. However, he snapped his hips forward, slamming to the hilt into Harry.

Harry grinned at the full feeling, and the fact fabric rubbed against his arse as Voldemort waited a minute for Harry to adjust. "You are so kinky," he mumbled.

"But you like it, don't you?"

He smiled, contentedly. "Of course I do; you wouldn't be you without the kinky sex."

"Is that all I am?" Voldemort remarked. He removed himself completely from Harry, who whined at the loss of his lover's dick in him. The whine was replaced by a muffled shout as Voldemort slammed into him, pulling Harry's hips up to meet his pelvis.

The rough pace was kept, though the man never pulled fully out from the teen again. Voldemort occasionally changed his angle of penetration, brushing the head of his cock against Harry's prostrate, but he would change again after a few thrusts to prevent the teen from cumming early.

The bed rocked against the wall, and Voldemort leaned forward to wrap his hands around Harry's on the headboard to drive in deeper until, with Harry's name on his lips, he came, shooting deep and warm into Harry. He continued to thrust as he rode out his orgasm, bringing Harry to his own. The teen ejaculated across the sheets below him, Voldemort's name screamed into the room.

Voldemort leaned on Harry and he nuzzled his face into the sweaty hair beneath his nose. He whispered, "Decarpals*," and the binds around Harry's wrists disappeared. The man unwound Harry's fingers from the headboard and tipped their bodies to the side, spooning on the bed. He Vanished Harry's cum from the sheets, and used Histiovani* on his clothing so the couple was pressed skin-to-skin.

Harry closed his eyes and relaxed in the aftermath of his and Voldemort's lovemaking. It was quite wonderful, but he had a feeling he'd be sore the next morning from the quick preparation and brutal thrusts. However, Harry enjoyed it very much, and squeezed his arse around his lover's cock, still buried deep in him.

"You are insatiable," Voldemort murmured against his neck. The man's lips brushed up and down the pale column before choosing an area to lavish with tongue and teeth. He suckled at the skin for a bit until he moved his mouth on, pleased with the purple bruise forming on his Harry's neck.

"I'm a teenager; I have every right to be anxious for more," Harry replied. He relaxed his inner muscles and basked in the warmth from his lover.

Voldemort's left arm went around Harry's waist and they curled together. A flick of Harry's hands had the blankets from the foot of the bed sliding up over their cooling bodies, and the couple settled down into a light slumber.


"Bellatrix, thank you for that fight last week. I think I just had some of the best sex ever, and it was amazingly kinky!" Harry exclaimed once he had pulled Bellatrix aside from the rest of the Death Eaters. That mentioned week consisted of Harry and Voldemort locked in their rooms with periodic food-delivery by the house elves. Other than that, they had no contact with the outside world as they fucked whenever aroused (and when walking around naked, that was most of the time).

She grinned at him. "I know; Rodolphus was so forceful! It was wonderful…" She faded off with a dreamy expression.

"I wonder what our next argument will bring," Harry mused.

Bella crinkled her nose. "Let's wait a few days; I think I'm going to be sore for a while." She rubbed a hand across her lower abdomen.

Harry agreed with her, "Of course; lube and pleasure only get you so far. They never mention the aftereffects now, do they?" He ran his own hand over his pained lower back. Harry glanced around the hall and watched as Voldemort conducted his meeting.

No one was paying any attention to the couple in the corner. Neither of them noticed the Listening Charm hidden against the wall that trailed to Rodolphus, who recorded everything for use at a later date. The man grinned and planned to make a copy for his lord to read when the meeting was over.

"Do you think they realize that we set them up each time to get ourselves great sex?" Harry asked her.

The woman shrugged one shoulder. "I haven't a clue, but regardless of whether or not they realize it, we win either way. See you around, Joker," Bella told him and walked off, tugging her hood over her head, to join the bowed Death Eaters.

Harry checked his own mask was in place and Apparated behind the dais, where he then advanced to join his lover.

There's another part of the Vinewood universe! Like usual, the first few lines came, and I made due with the rest. All of the charms are listed below that aren't by J. K. Rowling.

Charms – I put two-and-two together to get something that actually works:

*Ligchorous – lig- = tie, bind – Latin + -chorous = to spread – Greek – uses ropes to tie to a flat surface with limbs spread like an 'X'.

*Vestidys – vesti- = covering for the body; clothes – Latin + -dys = undress, disrobe; take off, strip, lay bare – Greek – rips the seams along clothing slowly, so that it falls off the body.

*Cingocarpus – cingo- = to bind – Latin + -carpus = wrist – Greek – tie wrists to a surface with invisible magic binds.

*Mitipute – miti- = mild, gentle, soft – Latin + -pute = to clean – Latin – a gentle cleaning spell used with gay or experimenting couples as it clears waste from rectum.

*Decarpals – de- = reverse the action of, undo – Latin + -carpals = wrist – Greek – counter-charm to Cingocarpus

*Histiovani – histio- = cloth – Greek + vani- = disappear; to fade – Latin – remove clothing from body altogether.

If you want to use one, please ask. Otherwise, find English to Latin/Greek translators and come up with your own!

Also, I would appreciate it if you reviewed!