Truemy the wise *sigh* I pommised I'd never do this…*

Welcome to the world of Truemy's CRACK (meaning crack fanfiction) *sob* Yes I'm doing a fanfiction, but it's crackfiction so yeah… anyway….

(Note)[Before this made tirade begins, I'd like to let everyone know who is reading The Sword of Truth or watching Legend of the Seeker, or reading and have read all The Wheel of Time books out there, that this story ** is not currently up to date. I'm gonna say that this sorta takes place in SoT world around book 6 which I believe is Faith of the Fallen. *and before the series starts to REAAAAALLLY SUCK* and Wheel of time before The Gathering Storm well, might have a bit of Gathering storm in it, just oh hell I don't know. This note is pointless. Ignore it and move on]

***

Rand, Mat and Perrin, surrounded by shadow spam *yes spam* and too many forsaken *about three seeing as the others are 'dead' *wink* *wink* or we'd like to believe anyway. At any rate, they come across a portal Stone and Rand wiggles his fingers and his toes (Which no one could see because he is wearing shoes) and the Two Rivers boys are all whisked away.

Flicker: *cough*

Truemy the wise: "What was that?"

Flicker: "Oh, nothing, nothing"

Truemy the wise: gives Flicker a suspicious look.

Are all whisked away to a wor—

Flicker: *HACK*

Truemy the wise: *closes eyes and slowly opens them again* "What?"

Flicker: Well, it's not really worth mentioning, but RJ usually used the flicker. Not Whisk. *says the word with much distaste* anyway. I'm just a crack from Darkhounds fanfiction. It's kinda sad really, you can't come up with anything original, so you steel other peoples crack.

Truemy the wise: *puts a cork in flickers mouth.* anyway, as I was saying.

Are all FLICKERED away

Flicker: Much better

Truemy the wise *blush in spite of herself*

Are all flickered away. So far away that they split from the pattern all together and soon find themselves on a different blanket.

Rand, Mat, Perrin, wobble for a moment before falling flat on their faces.

Mat: *pushing himself off the ground and scrambles to get a hold of his spear thingy* *once on his feet he looks around wildly.* *sigh* "Well, they're gone."

Perrin: *Hammer in hand and wearing a look of disappointment* "Oh,"

Mat: "Perrin… are you frothing at the mouth?"

Perrin: *quickly wipes his face* "No."

Mat: *Opens his mouth to ask, but then thinks it's better not to ask* "I think it's better not to ask"

Perrin: *gives him a sideways glance.* "Yeah… we just read your little star bracket."

Rand: *Who has thus far been scanning the surroundings* "Get back to the portal stone."

Mat/Perrin: "Why?"

Rand: *opens his mouth to tell them, but is interrupted by a loud scream*

Richard: "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Richard angry!" *He rushes at the portal stone with a great sword spelling out the words TRUTH on the hilt (except no one can see them because his hands are in the way.) He screams, the Two Rivers boys leap out of the way just in time to dodge the mad mans sword, who then proceeds to cut the portal stone in half*

Mat: *staring at mad stranger* "Blood and ashes, what did you do that for?"

Richard: *staring at portal stone ruins* "The Stone was evil."

Mat/Rand/Perrin: *all share a look*

Rand: "What?"

Richard "I understand emblams." *sheaths sword and looks more sane*

(Truemy The wise: "Yes, yes I told you to just ignore the note. And I know I probably spelt emblams wrong but for those of you who can't tell what I'm trying to say due to my poor spelling, is the things that were containing Nicini *think that's her name… um Death's Mistress* in the beginning of the Phantom book* anyway…)

Kahlan: *coming out of the woods* "Richard, what are you…" *looks at the three newcomers* "You're not from here are you?"

Mat: *scrambles to his feet again and giving the beautiful girl a dashing smile.* "What gave us away, my lady?"

Kahlan: *blush* "Well, um" *stammers* "You just don't look like you're from here."

Richard: "I think what Kahlan is trying to say is… What are you doing here?"

Rand: "Well, we were trying to leave but then you--"

*A chicken scuttles across the scene*

Richard: *eyes budge* "Raaaaaaaaaaaaarg!" *Draws sword of truth*

Kalhan: "Dear spirits not again…"

Richard: "RICHARD ANGRY!"

*Chicken squawks and scuttles back into the woods.*

Richard: *chases after Chicken* "I am the bringer of death evil chicken!" *disappears into the woods*

Kalhan: *looks off to where Richard disappeared for a moment.* "You were saying?"

Mat: "Is… is he mad?"

Kahlan: *sigh*

*in the background squawking and in distinguished shouts can be heard*

Kahlan: "No… he's just--"

Richard: *from far away* "RICHARD ANGRY" *thunk*

Kahlan: "Well, you heard him. Anyway, what were you saying?"

Rand: *staring after Richard wearing a look of sympathy and annoyance* "Well, we were trying to leave, but then," *jerks his thumb back to Richards shouts* "He destroyed the portal Stone."

Perrin: "Come to think of it, Rand why didn't you just make a bloody gateway out of there? Why did you have to use" *kicks broken portal stone* "this light curst thing."

Rand: *opens mouth* *frowns* "Um… for the sake of the plot I guess."

Perrin: *looks to a Rand a moment* *shrug* "Fair enough"

Rand: *to lovely Kahlan* "You know where another one of these things are. I kinda have a world to save back home…"

Perrin/Mat: *nods*

Kahlan: "Portal Stone?" *looks to broken rock* "Is that what that is?" *shakes head* "No, sorry this is the only one I've seen. There might be another in Adrial. (Truemythewise: or however you spell it, don't got a book on me.)

Richard: *returning with dead Chicken carcass* *sword firmly in its sheath* *the three two rivers boys eye him wearily.* "Well, looks like we can put some chicken in that spiced soup."

Kahlan: *rolls eyes* "Is that why it deserved to die?"

Richard: *looks at her seriously* "Don't even joke about it."

Mat: *whistle* "Okay, well, we'll just be heading of too, um Adrial."

Richard: *swerves towards them* *squints his eyes suspiciously* "Why are you going to Adrial?"

Mat: *smiles* *slowly backs away* "Well, to get away from the chicken of course. This place is crawling with them." *pretends shudder*

Richard: *relaxes a bit.* "So, you don't have any interest in the Wizards keep then?"

Rand: "Not unless it has another one of these." *kicks stone*

Richard *blinks a stone a moment* "Well, I don't know." *smiles broadly.* "Well, Kahlan and I are on our way there now. Why don't you join us?"

Rand/Mat/Perrin *share another look*

Perrin *mutters* "Not like we have much choice."

Mat/Rand *nods*

Rand: "Sure."

Richard: *serious voice* "Just one more thing."

Mat: "Erm… yes?"

Richard: *sticks out hand* "Introductions, I'm Richard Rhal." *smirks* *looking at them for signs of recognition, when none gave any he let out a disappointed breath* "and your names?"

Perrin: "Perrin."

Mat: "Mat"

Rand: "Rubin"

Everyone shot Rand a suspicious look

Rand: "Okay, fine, it's Rand…"

All glance at Kahlan.

Kahlan: *draw's herself up* "Kahlan Amnell, The Mother Confessor." *flushes at the two rivers boys blank stare* "Well, it means I'm going to be looking after you. Let's go."

***

Truemy the wise: "… Well that sucked." *grumbles* "Ah, well better luck next time. We'll see where this takes me."