I do not own any part of the Black Lagoon franchise, story or character ideas.

This is a piece of fan fiction created purely for entertainment purposes.

All copyrights are properties of their respective owners.

The Diary of an Ex-Businessman

A Black Lagoon Fan Fiction

Chapter 1 - 'The Beginning of the End: Part 1'

Rock was sat at the desk in his room, his face muscles distorted into a minor look of contempt.

The ambient noise was as expected of the Roanapur nightlife: windows shattering, gunshots in the distance, the screeching of tires. Hearing this, he turned his head to look out through the slots in the window blinds and quietly sighed. He looked back to the desk.

"Not once in the countless times I've slept here has the night been silent. Ironic, considering that this clusterfuck of corruption is inhabited by those seen as dead by any kind of real civilisation, which also includes myself. But even amongst the filth that runs through the streets, there are some things that make this new life worthwhile."

The pen in his hand danced over the pale beige pages of the notebook sat in front of him, the light of the moon and outdoor building signs coming through the window allowing him to see it just enough in which to write.

"I really need to buy a lamp…" Rock murmured under his breath. Two knocks on the door pulled him from his half-mesmerised state.

"Rock! You're not sleepin' already are ya? Ya goddamn sissy." The ever recognizable voice that Rock had learned to sense from half a world away rattled his eardrums. A distant light inside the Lagoon Company's office section enlarged Revy's silhouette against the thin windows of the door, like a scene reminiscent from a horror movie.

"What's up, Revy?" Rock did away with his trademarked cheerful tone, deciding instead to keep it equivalent to his current mood of thought.

"We're heading to the Yellow Flag! Bao just got it fixed up again and Dutch wants to treat us, c'mon!" The excitement behind her voice was apparent, Rock was fully aware by now that a drink at the Yellow Flag - or a challenging gunfight - was Revy's desired drug.

Throughout all of this, Rock was still writing in the notebook, trying to keep his concentration. Briefly pausing, he looked up at the wall in front of him and let a short smile form across his face.

"I can't find a better example of this than..."

A dull growl began to emanate from the door.

"Rock! Don't even think about pullin' a rain check or I'll give ya a new nostril to breathe through!"

"I hear you Revy; just give me a few minutes." Rock's impatience was making itself obvious through his voice.

"You've got two, then I'm gonna bust in there and drag you out by your balls!"

"Got it…" Rock's response was oddly out of character, he'd normally be stammering his words after such a threat; after all, this was his manhood at stake.

As quickly as she'd come, Revy's footsteps began to dissipate once more as she traversed back towards the couches.

"Looking back, I realise that I've been contradicting myself whenever I've written in here. But now it's time I set something straight…"

With only a few more strokes to indicate the end of his sentence, Rock closed the book with a distinctive thud. Laying the pen down on the desk, he picked the book up - which had a thickness equal to that of an ordinary bible, but a few centimetres taller and thinner - and slotted it into the nearest draw, pushing it half-closed.

Standing up, Rock loosened his tie by an inch, opting to leave the top button undone. He made his way to the door, calmly pulling it open, and making his way out into the office.

"Took your sweet time Rock, I thought you'd be happy with the concept of drinks on a Friday night" Dutch was sprawled over one of the couches, his head resting at one end, his feet propped up at the other.

Rock brought a hand up and scratched the back of his head. "I'm more than happy with it, Dutch. I was just finishing something up, something that I couldn't avoid."

"That important, huh?"

Rock could only nod in reply, but soon resorted to scanning the room. "Where's Benny? And Revy for that matter?"

"They're sitting in the car waiting for your pencil-pushin' ass to hurry up" Dutch jokingly smiled.

Rock could only let out a chuckle, revealing a slight hint of embarrassment. "Well then, shall we Dutch?"

"Let's, my friend."

The four-strong crew of the Lagoon Company exited the Dodge Coronet just as Benny parked it across the road from the newly renovated Yellow Flag. It had taken all this time for Bao, the owner, to restore it to its original glory after the assassin-turned-maid Roberta blew it to kingdom come with her grenade-fest. That was 8 months ago.

As they composed themselves, Revy looked over to Rock, who was remaining surprisingly silent.

"Jesus Christ, Rock!" Revy knocked Rock out of his dazed state with a swift slap to the back of the head.

"What the hell's you're problem tonight? You've had your lips sewn up since you got in the fuckin' car! I swear to God, are you trying to act like that crazy bitch cleaner with the voice box? I can help you be like that if you want!"

She began to reach over for one of her Cutlasses, the corners of her lips forming a tiny smile.

"Revy…" the one word that came from Rock's mouth was enough to make her freeze.

"…Shut up." His eyes never left the ground, his head bowed like someone who lost big at the races.

Revy's eyes widened in shock. She knew that Rock rarely had the nerve to talk back to her in such a determined tone. Why the hell was he being so cranky?

"I was thinking…about things."

"Jeez, Rock. I was pullin' your leg, no need to act like you're having a goddamn PMS moment!" She turned her head away. "Guy can't even take a fuckin' joke anymore"

Dutch and Benny were already crossing the road, knowing that the couple's confrontation was one of the daily-basis kinds. It was already 10:30pm, so the Yellow Flag was already bustling, but that never stopped the quad from wishing to occupy their permanently reserved seats at the bar. The usual sounds of shattering glass, laughing and shouting radiated from the front door; once again, a sound that Rock had now considered normal.

"Well you can stop thinking now. All ya need to worry about is the booze! We ain't gonna stop until dawn…or until one of us gets so wasted we lose consciousness!" Revy's voice made another fast transition to that of glee. She swung her arm behind Rock's shoulders, resulting in a large slapping sound, and began to practically drag her 'buddy' with her.

Revy's curiosity was now almost totally focussed on Rock as they walked up to the front door of the Yellow Flag. "What the hell could suddenly turn him into this unresponsive bag of meat?" was the question now consuming her thoughts.

"You're not still thinking about that day at the dock are you?" Revy's mouth could no longer keep itself shut.

"Huh?" Rock looked over at her, his eyes slightly wider.

"Back in Japan, the girl at the dock. You know, after me and Jumbo…" she stopped, opting to choose her next words carefully, "…I told you not to look at her. But what did you do?"

"Er…" Rock looked back down at the ground as they made their way through the doors and towards the bar. "It's not that. I know it hasn't been long, but I learned to put that behind me. She was going to do it either way; no words from me would ever stop her. She detested me…us, because she knew that our alliance with Hotel Moscow made us her enemy."

"You need a drink pretty fuckin' bad" Revy removed her arm from Rock's shoulders and proceeded to push him sharply in his back, lurching him towards a seat at the bar. As Revy sat down next to Rock, she waved a hand at the bartender and owner, Bao.

"Hey, Bao. You better give this one the strongest stuff you got" Her thumb evidently pointing in Rock's direction.

"No, I'm fine" Rock put a hand up in defence, finally adding some cheer to his tone. "Just a Bacardi, please."

Bao looked back at Revy, who shrugged her shoulders in response.

"Bao, how much was it to rebuild the place from scratch?" Dutch asked from across the bar.

"You watch it Dutch, you're lucky Hotel Moscow sorted out the insurance. If I'd sent you the invoice, then you'd be royally shittin' yourself." Bao exclaimed as he slid a drink into Dutch's hand.

"That bad, huh?" Dutch brought the glass up to his lips

"You don't know the half of it." Bao walked to the other end of the bar as some patrons tried to get his attention.

"I have a feeling that he won't want us coming in here anymore if this keeps going on" Benny finally spoke with a light-hearted joke.

"You've said that every time this has happened since you joined, Benny boy. You're not a very good fortune teller." Dutch laid his glass down, "We're one of Bao's best patrons, and as long as were putting money into his next 'Fix-The-Bar' savings pot, he'll keep the drinks flowing."

"Amen to that!" Revy lifted her glass and downed it, slamming it back down onto the counter. Bao already had her next one ready and waiting. Rock on the other hand was taking it easy, taking the occasional sip.

"Take it like a man, Rock! What, Mister 'Never-Underestimate-A-Japanese-Businessman' lost his drinking roots?"

Rock let out a small laugh, "Good memory" a smile made itself visible. "That was one of our first confrontations wasn't it? It was so long ago, but it still feels like yesterday."

"Couldn't a said it better myself" Revy laughed, slapping Rock on the back. "We've come a long way since then, but you're still quite the rookie."

Rock brought his glass up once more; pausing for a brief moment "Yeah…we have come a way haven't we?" his smile still grew a little larger. He looked over at Revy, who herself was looking at him in a mildly confused manner. Perhaps she was wondering what he meant by that reply. Their eyes stayed glued to one another's for a few more seconds before they both looked away. Rock's cheeks began to display a small reddish tint. Deciding to humour her, he downed what was left of its contents.

Upon placing the glass back down, he wiped the residue from his lips with the back of his hand. Looking back at Revy, he saw a look of approval in her eyes.


"Not quite" Revy's tone and smile were similar to that of a mischievous child.

She turned to Bao once more. "We need another ten of those up here pronto"

"Er, Revy?"

"I wanna play a little game, baby Rocky" Revy's smile bore some teeth, her excitement obvious from her voice.

"Here we go again…" Benny whined as he turned to face the pair.

"This time, it's to see who can down all their glasses first. Speed over quantity, I'm sure you can handle that."

Rock smiled again "Alright, I suppose it won't hurt. What's in it for the winner?"

Revy took a second to think, looking outside the bar. "How about…the winner makes the loser do something for them? For example, you can copy one of those perverted Japanese cartoons and make me your slave for a day, if that's how ya roll."

Rock swallowed, the statement suddenly implanted a freaky image of Revy wearing Roberta's maid outfit in his head, and he shook it clear of his imagination, the sight of it not pleasing him. But then again, he hadn't had a lot of fun in a while…

"Deal. But on one condition."

"I'm listening…" Revy was concentrating more on the drinks that Bao was lining up in front of them.

"We have to declare our punishment for the loser right now, before we start" Revy snapped her head over, shooting a dark look at Rock.

"Where's the fuckin' fun in that?"

"If we know what the other person wants us to do, then it'll spur us on to drink faster in order to win. It's simple logic, Revy."

Revy frowned, but came to realise that it was a better incentive to make them down the drinks.

"Fine." Out of nowhere, she grabbed Rock's tie and yanked his body towards her so that their faces became only inches apart, their eyes meeting each other's. "If you lose…"

Revy parted her lips and pursed them slightly, letting her eyelids droop. Rock noticed this, and was almost ready to reciprocate, until:

"…You'll be wearing that Hawaiian shirt I got you all those months ago. Not just for a day, or a week, but for a whole fuckin' month." Revy's little display paid off, lulling Rock into a false sense of security.

"Aw, crap…" Rock's immediate regret at his suggestion was palpable.

"On top of that, if I so much as think that you'll try to toss it, I'll tear you a new asshole"

Rock could do nothing but sigh, Revy's wish had been spoken, and he couldn't do anything about it.

"Okay…I'll just have to go with that" Revy pushed him away, back into his chair.

"Be grateful, if I wanted to be really cruel, I'd make you walk back to the office naked." Rock's pupils immediately constricted, just the thought of doing that made him shiver in fear.

"Dutch, look at that face" Benny, who was trying to hold in his desire to laugh, tapped Dutch on the shoulder and pointed out Rock's anguished look.

"Huh, If only we had a camera" Dutch murmured.

Rock shook himself out of it once more, quickly coming to a decision. "Okay, Revy. If I should win…"

Revy was preparing for the worst.

"You have to be nice to me for a day."

Her face quickly sunk, displaying extreme boredom. "That's the best you can think of? Rock, you're a goddamn pussy!"

"Well, since I haven't had one of those days yet, I want to know how it'll feel. That means no shouting, insults or death threats, no hitting or grabbing, and definitely no pointing those Cutlasses at me. I'm not your own personal moving target y'know. Oh and I wouldn't mind you smiling a few times" Rock flashed a mocking smile at Revy as if to imitate his wish.

"Smart-assed son of a bitch" Revy growled and looked back at the row of glasses on the counter. "But I guess it could be worse…"

Hope you all like it so far! Reviews are most welcome!

This and 'Intro Part 2' are basically scene setters for the rest of the story.

UPDATE: Just so everybody knows, 'Intro (Part 1)' is the name of Chapter 1, and likewise goes for 'Intro (Part 2)' which is simply the name of Chapter 2.