Different

I am walking through the beach, feeling the calm water swishing at my bare feet. I smile, watching the blue sky and the lazily drifting clouds. It is calm and tranquil. A lot of people are there, but they do not bother me. I like it being here…amidst all the people, amidst all the noises, the children running around, couples…

I can feel the coldness of the water and the warmth of the sun coursing through me. The wind blows ever so gently and the palm trees dancing back and forth, waving to me. Everyone was smiling and most importantly, he is smiling.

He is standing there, hands hidden inside the pocket of his white jacket. The white of his jacket contrasted with the red of his hair, matching in colors flawlessly. I like it here and I am standing beside him. I close my eyes, feeling the breeze… imagining the feeling.

I take in a deep breath. The tranquility is priceless…

And I swallow.

As I open my eyes, I could hear no more voice. It is silent, as if I have gone deaf. And I see him, still standing there, slowly turning away from me, walking to the direction of another person with a genuine smile on his face.

I watch…forcing my smile. I feel the sadness deep inside—but not enough to shed me tears. Or… is it so overwhelming that I am unable to cry anymore?

We are two different people from a very different world… so different and so impossible for us to be together.

After all, I did tell him to be happy… and find another person if something happen to me. And he did…

He is happy now. And I am forever trapped in this beach—and this sea where I die, swallowed by the deepness of the water, unable to breath. Numb.

There is nowhere for me to go except to stay here forever and wait each year for him to show up and send those white dandelions to the water and stand there for a full hour…

I wonder if he feels me beside him.

But that doesn't matter now.

He's happy…

I am no longer a part of his world…

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I really do appreciate all of you who are still reading what I write. It means a lot for me. You are what keep me going back to writing. (: Thanks a lot, everyone!