A/N: Okay, for some reason I posted this fanfic and then apparently I didn't actually post it, so I'm reposting it. Pheww, understand? `kay. Enjoy [:
Ziva sighed for the umpteenth time that day, muttering to herself in a mix of English and Hebrew. It had been one of their quietest days yet. Not a single case in sight, and Ziva was sure that the boredom she was experiencing was enough to kill her. Ironic, she knew, seeing as she was an assassin. Assassins were meant to die dramatically, quick, during an intense battle. Not because they didn't have a case.
McGee, Tony and herself, were working cold cases and Gibbs had paid MTAC a 'visit'. Four hours later and still no sign of their boss.
Without realising, Ziva let out another sigh, frustration etched on her face. She needed a break. Pushing her chair back forcefully, Ziva stood up, intending to get a candy bar from the vending machine. Tony looked up and smirked. He had noticed his partner's irritable mood increasing rapidly. The silence that filled the bullpen was broken.
"What's wrong Zee-vah? Got a super hot date waiting for you at home? Bedroom lit with candles. Soft music. Satin sheets-" McGee looked up in alarm. Tony should know better than to annoy Ziva. She looked pissed off enough already. McGee quickly turned his attention back to his computer, not wanting to be part of the argument that was sure to arise. He was, however, mistaken.
Ziva was more than happy that Tony had finally broken the silence; however she held back a smile. She decided to humour him.
"Yes in fact I do, Tony. And I would much rather be at home than sitting here enduring your senseless bambling."
"Babbling," he corrected automatically, earning a harsh glare from Ziva. Tony mocked hurt at her comment and Ziva smiled cheekily at him before sitting back down, candy bar long forgotten.
Tony was restless. He had spent the last two hours working. Actually working! Amazing, he knew, and he decided that enough was enough. He gave a quick glance at McGee who was typing fervently on his computer, oblivious to his surroundings.
"Excellent!" Tony thought, "An easy target." Tony quickly sent an IM to Ziva. He suddenly realised his mistake when a soft 'PING' sounded from Ziva's computer. He cursed softly and snuck a second glance at McGee. McGee hadn't even heard the noise; he was too absorbed in his own little world. Tony let out a small breath of satisfaction.
Ziva heard the small 'PING', alerting her of an incoming message. From Tony, she immediately concluded. Who else would bother her?
She looked up, eyebrow raised, and watched as Tony tried to signal for her to mute her sound. He looked more like a monkey peeling a banana. She rolled her eyes and after two clicks her sound was disabled. She looked at the IM.
BigD: Want to help me?
Ziva looked up to see her partner grinning widely at her. He gave her a thumbs up, expecting her to give one back. Ziva ignored the gesture and typed a quick reply.
ZivaD: Which what exactly?
BigD: Bringing down Probie of course!
Ziva met Tony's eye again and rolled her eyes. It was too good to be true to think that Tony could go a day without putting McGee through hell.
BigD: Is that roll of the eyes a yes or...
ZivaD: Fine. It is a yes. But I take no responsibility if Gibbs finds out.
BigD: He won't. But don't worry. I'll happily take the blame for any misfortune that we place upon our little probie.
He shot Ziva a mega-watt smile and was rewarded with one just as great. They didn't have anything else better to do and it didn't look like Gibbs was going to show anytime soon. For now, she would give in to his childish behaviour.
Tony began throwing around ideas for The Perfect Prank to Play on the Unsuspecting Probie. Ziva felt sorry for McGee. They were going to take their boredom out on him... again.
BigD: Glue on his keyboard.
ZivaD: Already done that... twice.
BigD: Fill his coffee with pepper!
ZivaD: How would you get him to leave his coffee unattended? And where is this pepper coming from? I don't have any.
BigD: Damn, I was afraid you might say that.
ZivaD: ...because I USUALLY carry pepper around with me everywhere I go?
BigD:Hah! Who KNOWS what you carry around with you :P
Ziva shot Tony an and-you'll-never-find-out look. Tony raised his eyebrows mischievously before returning to his 'deep thinking'.
BigD: Send everyone in NCIS a photoshopped picture of McHippy tree-hugging.
ZivaD: Hah, you can do it if you want. I am hopeless at this... photoshopping thing. And some women find environmentally friendly men attractive.
BigD: Oooh Zeeeee-vaaaaah! You one of these 'women'?
Tony gave Ziva a teasing smirk.
ZivaD: If you are asking if I would go head over feet for a man who has not bathed for two years and kisses animals, the answer is... no.
Tony let out small snigger; however no-one except for Ziva seemed to have heard it. Thankfully.
BigD: I'm pretty sure 'environmentally friendly' men bathe, and I'm certain they don't kiss animals. At lease the sane ones don't. Oh and by the way, the expression is 'Head over Heels'.
Ziva dismissed the correction with an idea.
ZivaD: What if we fill his car with nitrous oxide?
BigD: NITROUS OXIDE! What the hell Ziva. We can't go 'round killing our probie now can we? NO oxides or dioxides or whatever other oxides there are.
ZivaD: For your information, Tony, nitrous oxide is laughing gas.
Tony read Ziva's IM and then gave her a weak grin. Okay, maybe I overreacted a bit, he thought. Nevertheless, laughing gas or no laughing gas, he wasn't going to risk it. Maybe laughing gas could kill people.
BigD: Haha, I KNEW that. I was just testing to see if YOU knew.
Lame, he knew. Why wouldn't she know what it was. She was the one who suggested it.
Ziva didn't believe a single word that Tony was saying but before she could insult him, he had sent another message.
BigD: But I mean C'MON! We don't have PEPPER but we have laughing gas?
ZivaD: You just might be surprised.
Ziva laughed out loud at Tony's shocked expression. Everyone in a five-metre radius looked up, curious at Ziva's sudden outburst. She just shrugged them off, offering no explanation, and soon the room was once again filled with the sounds of keys being hit by fingers.
Once he was sure that everyone was minding their own business, Tony resumed their conversation.
BigD: Nice one. Reeeeeeeal smooth.
Ziva gave him a warning glare.
ZivaD: Like you can talk...
Many more ideas were discussed, tossed out, silently laughed at and/or put into their 'potential pile'. It wasn't until Gibbs had finally stalked out of MTAC and called out to Tony to, "Get out of that chatty thing RIGHT NOW," did they realise how fast time had flown by.
Tony muttered loudly, closing down the enormous list that he and Ziva had come up with. It looked like McGee would be safe after all.
"He's supposed to be almost blind!" Tony grumbled.
Gibbs was suddenly hovering over the younger agent. "What was that, DiNozzo?" Gibbs barked. Tony looked sheepishly at his boss and said a loud, confident, "nothing boss". Obviously that was the wrong answer because Gibbs' hand had connected sharply with the back of Tony's head.
"Ouch, boss! What was that for?"
Gibbs just gave Tony a smirk and another head slap. After more complaining on Tony's part, Gibbs answered.
"The first one was for calling me blind. My eyesight is better than you think. And the second one is for wasting over an hour chatting to Ziva when you SHOULD have been working on these cold cases," pressing a finger onto Tony's large pile of untouched files. Gibbs turned to see Ziva trying to hide a pile of files as big as Tony's.
"I-I... Why would you think that Ziva and I were..." Tony's words faded out. There was no point lying to Gibbs. Somehow, he always knew anyway.
Gibbs turned to McGee, who was still typing away on his computer. Now there was someone he could count on to do his job without being told to. There were only a few loose papers left on McGee's desk.
"McGee. Go home, you did well today." McGee looked up in surprise. He hadn't even realised Gibbs' presence. He smiled brightly, turned off his computer and left for the elevator. He gave Tony and Ziva a small wave, which they returned half-heartedly. The two of them still had to survive Gibbs' wrath.
"As for you two," Gibbs paused, as if deciding a verdict for two prisoners. Gibbs gave them a wry smile. "Go home. Get out of my sight before I change my mind."
Ziva and Tony jumped up, packed up and quickly left. They had already prepared for the worst. But it seemed to them that Gibbs was becoming a softie.
As they made their way down the elevator Tony spoke. "So you still have that date?" he smirked. A pretty laugh rang through the elevator.
"Oh yes! I nearly forgot. Thank you for reminding me, Tony. The date with the candles and satin sheets, yes? I cannot wait to go home and find it waiting for me."
Tony groaned. "...should have said pizza, couch and woollen blanket," he complained. Another laugh chimed out as the elevator doors opened.
"Next time you should not be so... full of yourself, yes? My hairy little butt," Ziva patted Tony's cheek and then kissed him gently on the lips as he grabbed her hand. Tony smiled happily as he led them to his Mustang.
McGee smiled as he drove home. It had been a pretty good day. Slightly boring, but at least he hadn't been tormented by Tony. He had been playing his new video game for most of the day and no-one had noticed. Not even Gibbs. Suddenly, McGee began to panic. Tony hadn't played a prank on him ALL DAY. It was unheard of. McGee couldn't shake the feeling that he was in for a not-so-good surprise tomorrow.
"Double the pain," McGee frowned sadly.
As Ziva unlocked her apartment door, she heard Tony snort loudly. "Hah, good plan Ziva. McGee will never know what hit him!"
Ziva smiled. Tony and his irresistible childish behaviour, she thought to herself.
All man on the outside, no doubt about that. But deep down, her Tony was a warm, cuddly bear on the inside.
A/N: Haha! I'm glad I got that out. I hope you liked it [: Oh and can someone please add my stories to community: Real Tony/Ziva. THANKS!