"Wake up, sleepy head!"

Kouji groaned, flipping onto his stomach and burying his head in a pillow. He breathed in, held it for a moment, then slowly opened his eyes.

"This pillow smells like girl." He stared at the pillow for a moment, then the bed, and the girl sitting at his feet. "Keiko, what the fuck are you doing in my room?"

Keiko giggled, tickling Kouji's feet. The raven was not amused.

"This is actually my room, son. Good morning!"

Kouji blinked, bringing his hand up to his head. Indeed, it was Keiko's room. And he was there, sleeping in the king sized bed. In boxers.

"What day is it? Why am I here?" Kouji began to worry about what had led him to sleep in Keiko's bed.

"You mean what night is it?" Keiko chuckled, pinching his toe again. Kouji pulled his foot away and sat up.

"No, seriously. Why are you acting so weird? Why the hell am I in your room?"

"Because this," Keiko gestured to herself and the room, "Is a dream."

"A…dream?" Kouji pressed his index and middle fingers to his temple.

"Yep! And I'm here to guide you. We're together in this dream," Keiko blushed, looking at her hands, "You're my boyfriend, Kouji."

Kouji narrowed his eyes, "You're kidding me, right?"

"Hey, do you want guidance through this dream or not?" Keiko huffed, crossing her arms, "I can just leave, you know."

"No, please, can I just wake up now? This is already weird enough," Kouji gripped at his hair, trying not to scream.

"No, you have to stay asleep for an hour."

"Oh, well that's not too bad."

Keiko giggled and crawled up next to the raven, "An hour in the real world equals a day in this world, baby."

Kouji threw the sheets off his body, hopped out of bed, and headed for the door, "There is no fucking way I'm dealing with this, Keiko."

"Wait, you should probably get dressed first."

Kouji stopped, his hand on the knob.

"You don't want to have an embarrassing underwear dream, Kouji."

"Fine."


"So, what do we do now?" Kouji asked as they descended the stairs of Keiko's house.

"Just treat this like any other day. I'll warn you though, things will seem a little off."

"What do you mean by that?" Kouji grunted, glancing at the brunette next to him.

Before she could answer, Kouji was nearly knocked backwards by a tall figure wearing an apron.

"Good morning, my little babies! What would you like to eat? Pancakes? Crème Brule? Lobster Bisque? Anything, you name it!"

Kouji could not believe what he was witnessing. There stood Takishita Keiji in a pink apron, oven mitts on both hands, and a big smile on his face.

"What the fuck are you on, Keiji?"

Keiji's expression sank to an exaggerated fucked up version of sad. If that makes sense. Tears welled in his eyes as he fell to his knees, "Kouji, why must you be so damn cruel? All I do is cook for you, clean for you, suck you off from time to time…"

Kouji plugged his ears and stared desperately at Keiko, who was snickering demonically, "How do I make him stop?" Kouji shouted.

"Only professional dreamers can make that kind of thing stop. It's pretty much impossible, except for Tamotsu. Because he's perfect."

Kouji rolled his eyes, "Then why don't you date him if he's so perfect?"

"Because it's your dream, doll."

"Damn you're annoying."

"Thank GirlsLikeeBoys and her fucked up dream excuse!"


"Good morning!"

"The fuck?"

Kouji entered Keiko's kitchen to find Ayaka, dressed in a greasy T-Shirt, suspenders, and oil stained jeans. She had a hint of five o'clock shadow, along with a slicked back pony tail. Naoki sat next to her, completely normal looking. An unfamiliar clean-cut man sat next to him in work clothes, smiling dreamily at Naoki. Next to the man was a blonde girl about Keiko's age, who was also unfamiliar.

"Uh, hi."

"Keiji, get me a beer," Ayaka commanded with a belch.

"Just a second, honey."

"Come sit down, you two!" The blonde girl encouraged. Kouji cautiously took a seat next to her, eyeing Naoki and the unidentified man.

"Did you two have fun last night?" The blonde girl asked, directing the question towards Keiko and Kouji.

"Of course we did. I've never made Kouji orgasm so many times in my life!" Keiko sang.

Kouji gagged, putting his head down on the table.

"Wow, you seem exhausted, Kouji," The blonde girl cooed.

"Yeah. This dream is sucking the life out of me."

"Hehe, like I was last night," Keiko said in perverted tone.

"Who are you?" Kouji groaned, leering at Keiko.

"Where is Saburo?" Naoki asked. It was then that Kouji noticed Naoki had his hand on the man's upper thigh. That's when he realized Aya wasn't there.

"Oh shit."

Suddenly, Saburo burst into the room, wearing a lacrosse pinnae and a backwards baseball cap, carrying a tan dark haired girl bridal style. He slammed her on the table, knocking all the condiments onto the ground. As he began working her school skirt off, the other family members went about breakfast as if the scene weren't even happening.

"Ayame, could you pass the salt?" Keiko asked. Kouji's eyes widened when he heard the name.

Ayame smiled, plucking the salt off the ground.

"Sure thing, Keiko."


"That was really fucked up, Keiko," Kouji said as he and Keiko approached the school.

"That's what dreams are for, baby."

Kouji sighed, and looked around; both hoping and fearing that he would find another one of his friends.

"Hey, there's Asashi and Tamotsu," Keiko said, grabbing Kouji's arm and pointing. There, on one of the benches, Tamotsu and Asashi were making out, shoving their tongues down the other's throat.

"Ah, fuck no."

"Hello, Kouji."

The raven turned around to find Junpei behind him, his arm rapped around Izumi's waist.

"You look swell this morning," said Junpei.

"Swell? Who says swell?"

"Don't make fun of my boyfriend, douche bag!" Izumi squealed in the most obnoxious voice.

"Oh, hell no. You guys make Keiko look normal."

"That's what brought us together, honey," Keiko whispered, nuzzling Kouji's neck sweetly. He couldn't help but like it a little bit.

"So, did you bring the weed today?" Junpei asked.

"Weed?" Kouji scratched his head skeptically.

"Yeah, weed. You promised me weed for that Viagra. Now, hand it over before I let Izumi beat your ass."

Kouji turned to Keiko, "Who says this stuff?"

"Republicans."

"Come on, that didn't even make sense. You're supposed to guide me, here."

Keiko giggled, "I'm just messing with you. Just tell them Tomoki wouldn't let you, then Izumi won't break your nose."

Kouji squinted, then shrugged and turned to Junpei and Izumi, "Tomoki wouldn't let me."

Junpei's expression softened. He put his arm around Kouji's shoulder and smiled, "Oh, okay man, don't worry about it. Hey, wanna play ball later on? Izumi and Keiko can be cheerleaders."

Izumi smiled and nodded.

"Umm…?"

"Hey, did anyone wake Kouichi this morning?" Keiko asked.

"Nope. It was Tamotsu's turn," Izumi stated.

"Wake him?" Kouji echoed.

"TAMOTSU! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" Keiko shouted across the schoolyard. The blonde's head perked up, followed by Asashi's. The pair rose from their bench and made their way over to the group.

"Good morning, guys," Tamostu said kindly.

"You were supposed to wake Kouichi this morning," Keiko stated.

"Oh, gosh. Jeez, I'm so sorry guys. I completely forgot. Could you ever forgive me?" Tamotsu whimpered, tears welling in his eyes.

Junpei put his arm around the blonde, who started to cry.

"It's okay, man. No sweat. Hey, don't worry about it. Come play ball with us later on. Keiko, Izumi and Asashi can be cheerleaders."

Asashi smiled bashfully and nodded.

"Oh…okay. Thanks, you guys. You're such great friends.

"No, thank you, Tamotsu. For being so damn perfect," Izumi cooed.

"I'll just text Takuya and tell him to go get Kouichi. Ayame has the car today, so it should be no problem," said Keiko, pulling out her phone.

"Ayame and Takuya?" Kouji wondered aloud.

"Yep! What, you didn't think my sister could get some?" Keiko asked.

"This is so strange…"

"Hey guys, we're here!" Called Takuya from the parking lot. He was accompanied by Ayame and a hung over Kouichi.

"That was fast."

"It's a dream. Of course it was fast," said Asashi.

"Fuck you all. Why is my brother hung over?"

"Because he's the biggest party boy tool in the school," said Junpei.

"Fuck no. That's not even okay to dream about. I want to wake up naow. Asap. Please."

"You just have to wait a little while longer, baby. We still need to go see Tomoki later on," Keiko said softly.

"I don't even want to know what's going to happen."

"Aye yo dawgs, what's shakin'?" Takuya asked as he approached the group.

"Seriously?" Kouji asked. No one answered.

"Me n' mah bitch went over and Kouichi was catching Z's on the fly, yo. Y'know what I'm sayin', dawg?" Takuya elbowed Kouji playfully. Kouji looked at Keiko, appalled at what was coming out of his best friend's mouth.

"He had five girls in his bed. Isn't that a new record?" Ayame asked, patting Kouichi thoughtfully on the head.

"Five?" Kouji echoed.

"Yep! Two blondes, a ginger and two brunettes."

"Get it in, Kouichi!" Junpei cheered, shaking Kouichi's shoulder.

"My penis hurts…" Kouichi said so softly Kouji swore he was the only one who heard it.

"Kouichi, I am so sorry I forgot to wake you up this morning," Tamotsu said, his eyes glistening.

"It's okay, Tam-Chan. You're perfect, so it's all cool in my book."

"The hizz shit just said it all!" Takuya threw his hands up in the air.

"What does that even mean?" Kouji asked. Again, no one answered. "Is the bell ever going to ring for class to start?"

"Hell no. People don't learn in dreams," Keiko said with a chuckle.

"I just want this dream to be over…"

"Okay, time to go see Tomoki," Izumi announced.

"I'll drive!" Ayame suggested.

"How will we all fit in your car?"

"Don't ask questions, Kouji."


"You guys, this is the bad part of Tokyo," Kouji announced, as they walked by an alley where a man was getting mugged.

"Obviously, you dumb shit," Izumi growled.

"Fuck you, bitch," Kouji said, not thinking about what he was saying. Before he knew it, Junpei was on top of him, beating the shit out of him. Tamotsu squealed, "OH THE HUMANITY!" Then fell backward dramatically into Asashi's arms.

Meanwhile, as Junpei was beating the shit out of Kouji, Kouichi crept up and grabbed Izumi around the waist, "Voulez vou coucher' avec moi?" He kissed her neck seductively.

"Aww yeeeuh, get it in wid hiz bitch, man. That's how it goes every time!" Takuya exclaimed, now wearing sunglasses that he wasn't wearing five minutes ago.

"Okay, we're here guys. Tomoki is waiting," said Ayame. She opened a door to a sketchy building, and led the group inside. Kouji wiped the blood off his mouth as soon as Junpei was off of him. He grabbed Keiko's hand tight, "Please, never let that happen to me again."

"Then don't call Izumi the B word."

The group entered a room with numerous expensive vases and textiles. Beads were handing from the ceiling, and incense was burning. The room looked like some kind of Tibetan thrown.

Tomoki sat in a big arm chair, Michiko (scantily dressed) resting her head on his lap.

"Good afternoon, Tomoki-Sama," the group said in unison.

"Good afternoon. I hope you are all behaving."

"We are," Keiko said, beaming.

"Good to know. Michiko, can you go get some cocktails for our guests?"

Michiko nodded, suddenly wearing bunny ears and a fluffy tail. She got to her feet and disappeared into a different room.

"He's bangin' her harder than the beginning of the universe!" Takuya shouted.

"Amen to that, friend," Tomoki said.

"I don't understand," Kouji grumbled, burying his head in his hands.

"What is it that you don't understand?" Tomoki asked, taking a puff of a pipe he didn't have moments prior.

"How… you of all people….God…"

"See, friend. Dreams are a reflection of your life. They are often exaggerated, but sometimes they can cause people to open their eyes and realize things about their life that they hadn't before. I know a lot of this that has happened is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo, but when you wake up, maybe you will be enlightened about a few things. Mozart heard one of his most famous pieces in a dream. Geniuses like Aristotle and Di Vinci learned from their dreams. I'm glad you could come today, friend. I really am." Tomoki took another puff of his pipe. Michiko returned with a tray of drinks.

"Tomoki… I can't say I understand."

"You will someday, comrade. You will."

"Isn't this just lovely?" Keiko asked, resting her head on Kouji's shoulder.

Suddenly, Kouichi was behind Michiko, wrapping an arm around her midsection, "Go to bed with meeee...," he whined, still hungover.

Tomoki erupted in a fit of screams and thrashing.

"GET YOUR DAMN FUCKING HANDS OFF MY WOMAN!"

"Uh-oh. He did it again!" Tamotsu whimpered.

"We better go," Izumi mumbled.

"Shits about to go down, son!" Takuya jumped up and down excitedly.

Fire started emerging from the bowels of Tomoki's body, escaping through his mouth, eye sockets and ears.

"What the fuck?" Kouji screeched.

"I'll bring us somewhere safe," Keiko whispered, grabbing ahold of Kouji's hand.


"Wow, where are we?"

"On my roof watching the sunset," Keiko said with a smile.

"What happened to the others?"

"That part of the dream ended. Now it's just us."

"Wow…" Kouji ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "This is the worst nightmare ever."

Keiko frowned, placing a hand on his knee, "What about this part?"

Kouji smiled sincerely at Keiko, "Thank God for this part. I'm so relieved."

"So, your dream is at fifty seven minutes, Kouji. You can wake up soon."

"Really? I thought it would never end," Kouji slid his hand into Keiko's. The girl beamed at him.

"Don't forget me when you wake up!"

"Forget you? How could I? I see you every day."

Keiko tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "I mean don't forget me as you see me right now. As your lover." She leaned it, carefully placing a kiss to his lips.

"God, the real Keiko would never say something like that," Kouji laughed.

"Just don't forget."


Kouji woke up in a sweat. When he realized he was awake, he threw his hands up in the air and cheered. He glanced around, making sure he was in his room. He touched his clothes, his bed, then his lips, remembering the last part of the dream vaguely. He got to his feet and headed for the bathroom, as the dream swiftly slipped from his mind.