A/N: I DO NOT OWN BIG TIME RUSH IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM!! Also, if you don't like the story, don't bash it, just nicely critique it. I like knowing what I can do to make the story better. So don't be afraid to show how you feel... again, do be nice about it though please :)


Chapter One: Only a Dream

My dream...My dream was to become famous and here I am, my dream is coming true. Better yet, I get to share it with my best friends. We're a boy band and we kick ass. We can dance, sing, and I have to say my voice is great...but...I have another dream too. Of course...it's one I know won't come true. I've always had this dream, but I didn't know what it was until...we actually came to L.A.

It started playing over and over in my head when we saw the Jennifers. I'm used to the whole picking up a lady thing because they're hot, and it just didn't click with me, it never did, especially that day. I would see other guys getting all gaga over girls so I did the same thing, and I'd do it over and over again. I don't get the point anymore though, because...I don't like girls, the problem is...well, that is the problem. I feel like I have to go all out and pretend I like girls just so no one will notice I really don't like them. I realize I was always fooling myself even with the "I'm going to marry Nicole from the Pussycat Dolls" thing. I really don't want to marry her. I don't want to be with any girls at all. No. I want to be with someone who I know I'll never be with. Someone who's always been there for me, someone I've known for so long that it's actually turned into love, like I want to be your lover love. He'll never love me like that ever. I want to be with him. I want to be with Kendall, but that's only a dream.