A/N: Once again, I have to apologize for the long time span in between my updates. Life's been pretty crazy, and this chapter in particular was hard for me to write. I'm dedicating this to all of you that asked for this, and I really appreciate all your reviews and favorites. This is also dedicated to pigwiz and KingxLeon21 who saved my sanity more times than I can count : )
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, clearly.
Epilogue (Two Months Later)
I've been at Stanford for a little over two months, and if I'm being honest, it isn't as great as I thought it would be. For a while it was okay, because there were orientations, meetings, and a new class schedule to adjust to. When I was all settled in and adjusted, that's when things got bad.
For starters, I didn't have a roommate, because my mother was afraid that whoever I roomed with would have a serious tick problem. I should have fought her harder than I did, but once she started crying, I couldn't say no.
The truth is that I miss Seattle, the life I had there, and the people I left behind. It's gotten so bad that I even miss Lewbert's shrill 'welcoming' screeches. I missed Spencer and his spontaneous combustion, Gibby's shirtless shenanigans, and iCarly.
There are only a few things that have been keeping me sane here. I've spent a lot of time writing codes for my different computer classes, and it's boring, but it takes my mind off everything. My mother, if you can believe it, is the second reason. She found out how to video chat a few days after I came here, and at first, it was terrible, because all she would talk about was tick baths, cloud block, and how I needed to shave. After a while, I realized that even though she was a little bit insane, it was a piece of home, and I wasn't in the position to ignore something like that.
The major reason I haven't ended up in the mental institution is Carly. We talk at least once a week on the phone, and I usually get random texts from her every day. She's been really great with everything that's happened, and as long as I let her gush about school and Chris, she doesn't mind listening to my problems.
The one thing I don't miss about home is Sam. Before you jump to any conclusions, I should probably explain. The reason I don't miss Sam is because I don't let myself miss her.
Things didn't exactly go how I'd hoped they would after our talk that night on the fire escape. If my life was one of the stupid chick flicks that Carly always forced us to watch, Sam might have realized she felt the same way I did, and we would have started dating, and lived happily ever, the whole nine yards. This isn't a chick flick, though. This is real life, and I'm just a stupid nub.
What really happened was that I walked into Carly's apartment the next morning, said hi to the girls, tried to give Sam a hug, promptly got the crap slapped out of me, and then watched as Sam walked out of the apartment.
After that morning, things with Sam and I were worse than they had ever been before. She refused to look at me, talk to me, and made sure that she never put herself in a situation where the two of us would be alone. Her sudden hatred of me meant no more late night talks, no trips to Groovy Smoothie (my wallet appreciated that one) and much to the dismay of our iCarly fans, no more 'Wake Up, Spencer'.
If I'd had more time, I would have tried cornering Sam, making her tell me what was wrong, but the reality of the situation was that I had less than three months left with my two best friends, even if one wasn't speaking to me. I was smart enough to realize that even if Sam wasn't speaking to me, if we hung out with Carly, at least I'd get to see her, and be around her.
We ended up having a pretty decent summer, despite the circumstances. We spent a lot of time at the beach, and hung out with Spencer, Chris, and even Gibby, when we could tear him away from Tasha.
It was upsetting to leave the girls once the end of August rolled around. The one thing I was thankful for was the fact I was the first one to leave, which meant that at least I'd get to say goodbye to Sam, no matter how one sided it was. Carly was able to drag Sam to the airport with her, and I was definitely thankful for that. In the end, all I'd gotten was a punch in the shoulder, but it was more than I'd gotten in months, and I was willing to take anything I could get from her at that point.
Carly knew how miserable I'd been after Sam's display of violence, and she'd tried to talk to Sam about it, but Sam wouldn't tell her anything. She was really great about not bringing Sam up in our weekly conversations, which was something I really appreciated. It hurt just thinking about her, which is why I avoided that as much as I did. I wasn't ready to hear about how she was having the time of her life at cooking school. I definitely wasn't ready to hear about some 'smokin' hot' boyfriend she'd picked up. It was just easier to pretend she didn't exist.
I'd gotten off the phone with Carly last night, and fallen asleep soon after. For some reason, my dreams were plagued with visions of the blonde headed demon and her army of mutant hams. It was terrifying.
As usual, I slept terribly. When I woke up, I went to work on a coding sequence for one of my classes, and after a while took a break and fell asleep. I'm not sure how long I was asleep, but the sound of my phone jarred me awake. Reaching blindly for it, my hand finally found it, and I mumbled a hello. Expecting my mother or Carly, who were really the only two people who called, I got quite a shock.
"Don't sound so excited, Fredward."
I had to take a moment to bring the phone away from my ear. Looking at the screen, I saw that it was in fact Samantha Puckett, all blonde and smirky, staring up at me. I'm not sure why, but seeing her face made me suddenly angry.
"What do you want, Puckett?" My question came out almost as a growl, but for some reason, hearing her voice for the first time in so long made all the anger and emotions rise to the surface.
She started to respond, something about how I was being rude, but before I could tell her that she was the definition of rude, there was a knock on my door. Dragging myself out of bed and across the room, I could hear her talking, but I wasn't really listening to the words.
"Hold on, there's someone at my..." If I thought hearing her voice was a shock, I'm not sure there's a word to describe what I was feeling when I opened the door and saw her standing there, phone up to her ear, smirk on her face. My phone slipped from my fingers, and since I have almost zero hand eye coordination, I watched as it fell to the floor and shattered. I'd have fun explaining that one to my mom.
Before I had time to blink, she was pushing her way past me, into my room. It was then that she started her assault on my room without even a hello.
All I could do was stare as she began to tear my room apart, both physically and verbally. She was in my closet, and began to rant about how 'no normal person had the number of striped shirts I did'. When she was done with the closet, she began making fun of my computer, and the fact that I had pictures of iCarly on my wall. Apparently it was a 'chick thing' to do.
I tried to interrupt her whenever she started a new train of though, but she seemed to notice and spoke even louder each time I opened my mouth. After a few minutes I broke the trance, and realized exactly what was going on. After the fifth time of attempted interruption, I was about to explode.
Stopping only to scoop up the remains of my phone, I left, slamming the door behind me. I know it was probably a bad idea to leave Sam alone in my room, but I don't think I could have handled being in a small space with her any longer. Just another reason to make me mad at her. She shows up after almost five months of not so much as acknowledging my existence, and I can't even be pissed off in my room.
I wasn't really sure where I was going, but I felt a little less volatile as I walked around campus. I finally settled on a bench in front of a fountain. I didn't have my PearPod, so the water from the fountain was going to have to be enough. As I sat there, I let my head fall back, and my eyes close. I couldn't even begin to fathom what she was doing here, and what she wanted.
After a few minutes, I realized that she'd found me. She didn't say anything, but I could tell she was close.
"What do you want?" I repeated my question that had previously gone unanswered, not bothering to open my eyes. She didn't say anything, but I felt the bench shift as she sat down.
After a few minutes had passed, and she still hadn't said anything, I started getting angry again.
"Seriously, Puckett. What are you doing here? Did you come here just to verbally assault me? You could've done that over the phone."
"Fredward." There was a pause, but I waited for her to go on. I wasn't about to help. "Can you at least look at me?"
I didn't want to give in. I knew it was a mistake to sit up and look over at the blonde next to me, but I couldn't stop myself.
"What, Sam. Just spit it out. I'm really not in the mood for games."
For the first time since June, I was sitting somewhere alone with Sam, and as I watched her, I realized just how much I'd missed her. I had to focus, though. I wasn't about to give in to her that easily. I slumped back in my seat, knowing how stubborn she was, and finally I heard her take a breath.
"You know me, Fredward. I don't do emotions and chiz like most girls. I'm not even sure what I'm doing here." I could see the frustration building in her, and suddenly she got to her feet, and started to walk away. I wasn't about to let that happen. I walked after her and grabbed her arm, spinning her around.
"No way, Puckett. I'm not letting you run away from this chiz anymore. You came all the way here. Just explain." I could see the inner struggle she was having, because as she said, and as I well knew, she didn't do emotional things. I figured that it was hard for her, but after everything I'd had to deal with since our 'falling out', I wasn't about to give up without a fight.
I still had a grip on her arm, and before she could do anything, I dragged her back to the bench and pulled her down with me. I could feel the tension building, and I was starting to get a headache, but I needed to hear what she'd come here to say.
"The thing is, I was scared, Freddie." I was surprised that she was actually going to tell me what she'd come to, and even more by what she'd said. Sam Puckett wasn't afraid of anything. I wasn't sure if I should coax her to go on, or let her take her time. I was just happy she was talking to me.
"I am sorry, you know, for slapping you, and ignoring you. I was just really terrified that I was going to lose you."
"Why would you..." I couldn't finish my question because she held up her hand, and I knew better than to keep talking.
"Just let me finish, nub. I've got a lot to say." She paused before continuing, and I waited as patiently as I could.
"I was afraid that we'd finally become friends, like, really great friends, and it would all be ruined because we dated and broke up. I was scared that you were going to hate me if I didn't like you as much as you liked me. I wasn't even sure why you liked me in the first place. Guys don't like me like that, and there you were confessing your love for me on the fire escape. It was just all too much for me to deal with." I stared at her as she kept talking, but to be honest, I wasn't listening to what she was saying. All I could think about was how she'd made the effort to come here, and how she'd apologized, and been honest with me.
Before I knew it, I was doing something I would probably regret in a minute's time. I brought a hand up to her face and pushed her curls behind her ear. When she didn't immediately maul me, I made perhaps the boldest move of my life. I kissed her, and to my surprise, and joy, I realized that she was kissing me back. That in itself was enough to blow my mind. She pulled away, and I thought for sure the end had come, but when I opened my eyes, she was smiling. Not the infamous Sam Puckett smirk. An actual smile with teeth and all.
"You better run, Frednerd."
A/N: I'm not happy with the ending, but after two months of deleting and restarting, I fear this is the best it's gonna get. I hope you enjoyed it : )
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