Author's Note: I'll update whenever I damn well feel like it!! *cowers in fear*

"Tell me again what I have to do," I spoke, panic falling from my tongue. Jasper threw me the reigns to the horse. I've never ridden a horse.

I actually feared horses.

They stared at me too much.

"You're going to go into the heart of Banning. They're you will find an identical scroll, like the one you had in the tube back in your world. You must return that scroll to Ruder, where you will meet a group of werewolves – hopefully in their human form."

"Hopefully," I scoffed.

"Edward," Alice chimed in. "You must stay calm, but very cautious. It's dangerous out there."

"But only at night, right?" I cut in, feeling the horse move beneath.

"Yes, almost." She took in my glanced of panic and quickly finished. "A lot of humans are hard to gain trust from. And if you're lucky, you'll meet two very kind vampires."

"Kind vampires? I've never heard of anything like that before," I responded.

"Yes, they are very odd, and very frowned upon. They have trust issues, so you must be careful if you do find them. They can serve you protection and I'm sure they will be more than willing to help you out."

I looked at the two of them. "What about you guys? What if I get the scroll to that one place-"

"Ruder," Jasper clarified.

"Ruder, sorry," I mumbled. "Alright. I make it to Ruder, then what? What if those werewolf people decide to kill me or something?"

"They probably will," Alice whispered.


She sighed then. "You just need to tell them that you've got the scroll. They'll do whatever they can to make sure that scroll is in good condition."

I nodded my head. "What's so important about this scroll anyways?"

"It's a treaty," Jasper stated as he made sure that the horse and I were prepared to go.

"A what?"

"It's basically the thing that stops the werewolves from killing the vampires. It was created way before most of the world's time."


"Edward, I'll teach you one thing about survival," Jasper said, handing me my ax. I took it gratefully and stuck it in a strap that was put across my shoulder and torso, kind of like a sash. "Intimidation."

"You're kidding, right?"

He laughed. "No, I'm not. If you can appear more tough and cut-throat, you'll probably make it out alive."

"Be a total bad-ass/jerk/killer. Hmm, I can do that."

"And that's where this all started," the girl interrupted this time, motioning her hand over me.

"What started?" I growled, eye narrowing.

"Yep. I get it now," she smiled. "Continue."

"Take this just in case." Jasper handed me his shotgun, along with a box full of bullets.

"Sweet," I purred.

"They're silver bullets, you never know," he stated with a wink.

"Gee, thanks, mister."

Hmm. The sarcasm already kicking in. Why did I have a feeling this was going to stick? Maybe it would suit me.

"Edward, there is something you must do when you reach the scroll first," Alice spoke, apprehensive.

"Which is?" I asked making weird head motions that I would never understand.

"Before you take the scroll from its resting place, you must say these words."

"Hit me."

"Vida. Santuario. Fe. Paz. Muerte."

"Is that Spanish?" I asked her.

"Yes, do you speak it?"

I snorted. "So you have no idea what 'fuck' and 'shit' means? But you can speak Spanish?"

Both she and Jasper shrugged.

"It's very odd, but do you know how to speak the language?" Alice hissed.

"Don't get all pissy at me!"

She glared.

"Yes, I do. I took three years of it in high-school."

"Good, now, repeat them," she demanded.

I scratched my head. "Can you say them again?"

She sighed. "Vida. Santuario. Fe. Paz. Muerte."

"Vida. Santuario. Fe. Pez. Morte?" I was unsure.

"Muerte!" she growled. "It's very important you get this right."

"Right, Muetre. Got ya."

"Again!" she commanded.

"I got it, I got it! I know your damn words, alright?" Fuck. She was annoying. Truthfully, I was glad to be getting away from her and her bossy-ways.

"You need to leave now so you'll make it into town before the sun sets. Jasper will take you half way."

"Wait, wait, wait. What do I do after I give the people their treaty?" I asked.

"Leave," Alice replied in a firm tone.

"Leave?" I responded.

"I'll find you. Don't worry," Jasper stated. Alice's eyes turned back to her husband who was preparing another horse. She eyed him in a very angered manor but he pretended as if nothing happened.

"Alright," I purred. "Let's do this thing."

"Do you mind if I just cut to the good shit?" I asked, not too sure why.

"Does anything exciting happen while you make your way to Banning?" the poodle-hooker asked.

"Nah. Just a few swollen balls and the need to eat a bear."

"Then continue."

When the fuck did I turn into her bitch?

After a long as trip of bouncing up in down and starving to death, I made it to Banning before sundown. I tied my horse to a tree. I mean, what else was I going to do with it? Let it go? No. I tied the reigns against the trunk of an oak or whatever it was and walked into the town. It actually looked sort of...normal. There were old houses and even little buildings. It was much like an old fashioned town. I sort of hoped there was a saloon. I mean, old westerns are the shit. But there was one thing. It was a Ghost Town. No one was out. It was silent and empty. There were no lights. I half wondered if I was even in the right place.

I walked through the 'busy' place, listening for the sounds of life. Seriously. I was beginning to wonder if I stunk. But then, a door opened. A man with blond hair and very, very pale skin stepped out, his eyes meeting mine.

"Who are you?" he asked in a very quite tone. I stared into his gold eyes, suddenly aware that this might be the person I was supposed to find.

"Are you Carlisle?" I asked.

His eyes grew wide. "Yes, yes I am." He looked around then, as if he was being watched. "You shouldn't be out here. Come on."

He motioned for me to come inside –

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" the kid snorted, laughing until he turned red. The chick and I stared at him until he calmed down.

"Done?" I asked.

He laughed a few more times, wiping at his teary eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Man. That was good."

"Yeah, real good." I glanced at the girl and she smiled at me. And then she smacked him against the back of his head.

I started my own laughing fit.

I followed him into the dark space. It was cold, at least, some places were more cold then others.

"Carlisle?" a woman's voice called out.

"Shh!" he suddenly shushed and grabbed my arm. That explains the cold. He towed me along. We went down a set of hard stairs and into darkness. Then….I think he left. The bastard trapped me here, wherever here was.

"Esme, who's with you?" the man's voice echoed from the darkness.

The same woman answered. "Bella. Come on, hurry. The sun will be setting any minute."

"Right, come in. Close the door. Hurry!" the man whispered.

"Carlisle?" a musical voice asked. "There's a human here."

"Yes, I know. He was out wondering. I couldn't just leave him." I heard the door shut and a light snapped on, making me wince at the sudden, painful brightness.

Once my vision finally came back, I was staring at the most gorgeous creature, who was staring back at me. Her eyes were a large crimson and her skin was freakishly pale. Her dark, long, chocolate locks flowed down her back like a fucking waterfall. She had the perfect curves that any woman would die for. God, I just wanted to fuck her then and there.

And here I thought Rosalie was the hottest, sexiest chick on the planet.

Well, back on my planet she was.

But here, this woman, this goddess, fucking had me nearly humping her leg.

Then, suddenly, I felt a bunch of eyes on me. I looked away from her in order to make eye contact with two others. The man who'd brought me here stared at me with enough curiosity to share with a crowd of people. The other woman was very attractive, but the thought of boning her made me think of my mom. I gagged a few times.

"Are you alright?" the woman asked, her golden eyes on me.

"Yep. Perfect. Slightly nauseous and jet lagged. But I think I'll be fine," I clarified, my eyes making their way back to the goddess.

"Who are you?" the man asked. I snapped my attention back to him. "I've never seen you around here."

"Uh, yeah. Alice and Jasper sent me. I don't know if you know them…" I began but was cut off.

"Alice and Jasper? Why would they send you? How do they know you? They're just a couple of pariah's who shouldn't be meddling in anyone's business," the goddess spoke, her words running through me like a vibrator. Did I just say that? Yes, yes I did.

"Well," I started. "I'm on a mission."

"A mission?" the other woman asked. I tried to hold back a dry heave. I just couldn't get the thoughts of my mom naked out of my head. I was really fucked up.

"Yes," I responded.

"What type of mission?" the other woman asked. Once my eyes landed on her oddly red ones, I was gone. I stood there, staring at her with my mouth wide open. I think I drooled.

"Let's all sit down," Carlisle said, motioning to the tiny round table in the room.

I took that time to find out what type of place we were in. It was a basement, clearly. The walls were cement and it was slightly cold. The lights installed, however, were brand new and belonged in a school or a hospital. There were paintings and sculptures all around, making it look like a living room – just in the basement. Everything had a modern touch to it, it was homey.

Once we had all taken a seat, they immediately jumped into the interrogations.

"This mission you speak of, what it is?" the woman pried again.

"Well, if I want to get back home, I have to do some things." I had read and seen enough vampire movies and books to know that that's what these three were. I should have been frightened, but honestly, after getting sucked up through a vacuum and spat back out into a parallel dimension, I was past scared. But because they were vampires and I intended to get them killed so I could go home, I had to be picky in the things I said.

"What sort of things?" the woman, Bella, said.

Don't look at her. Don't look at her. Don't fucking look at her, I thought to myself repeatedly, trying my hardest not to let gravity pull my head into her direction.

Fuck…I think I was going to look at her.

Will This Agony Never End….