Title: How do you like to kiss?
Author: zephiey
Rating:. T
Category: Challenge Fic

Archive: Yes
Disclaimer: Princess Diaries and its characters are the property of Disney, Buena Vista, and Meg Cabot. I make no money from this work of fiction.

Word: Purr

How do you like to kiss?

"Come on, do you actually think anyone would fall for that line?' said Mia, as she and Lily debated the merits of the film they had watched earlier.

"All I am saying is that it worked for her. She did end up kissing Sean," Lily pointed out.

"Only because it was in the script," argued Mia.

"So, you're saying that a woman couldn't go up to a man ask him how he likes to kiss then kiss him," said Lily.

"No, I am saying in real life it just wouldn't happen," argued Mia.

"What wouldn't happen in real life?" asked Her Majesty.

"Oh, hi Grandma. Your Majesty," Mia and Lily greeted.

"Hello, now what has you two debating so intensely?," asked Clarisse, sitting down on one of the lounges by the pool and placing her book, lotion and sunglasses down on the table next to her. She like Mia wore a bikini, but unlike Mia's hers was not quite as small.

"We were watching the movie 'Hatari' earlier," Mia began.

"Good movie, although I haven't seen it in years," said Clarisse.

"Yea, it was kind of neat," said Mia.

"And romantic, " added Lily.

Mia glared at Lily. "Yea, romantic too. But there was scene in there where Dallas, the leading lady walked up to Sean, John Wayne's character, and asked him how he liked to kiss. And then she proceeds to kiss him. Now Lily says, " Mia shot a look at Lily, "that a woman could walk up to a man and using the same line from the movie ask him how he likes to kiss and he would let her kiss him. I say the man would look at the woman as if she were nuts. What do you think, Grandma?"

"I would have to agree with Lily, my dear. Most heterosexual men would have no qualms about kissing a woman. Especially one who asked how they liked to kiss," said Clarisse.

"See," said Lily, sticking her tongue out at Mia.

"Real mature there Lils," said Mia. "I disagree. It wouldn't happen and I can prove it!"

"How?" asked Lily.

Before Clarisse was able to ask how herself, Mia was on the phone.

"Hey Shades, its Mia. Is Joe around? Good…could you and he come to the pool please? Yes…no…it's not an emergency...when you get a chance. Okay…ten minutes…thanks Shades." Mia hung up the phone and sat down, a smug look on her face.

"Mia, my dear, what are you planning?" asked her grandmother.

"I am going to prove that a man will not let a woman kiss him simply because she asks how he likes to kiss," she said. "I am going to ask Shades and you," Mia pointed to her grandmother, "are going to ask Joe."

"Amelia, I am not going to ask Joseph how he likes to kiss!" declared Clarisse.

"Oh, I see. Even though you say a man will let a woman kiss him if she asks how he likes to kiss, you refuse to prove your theory. Afraid Grandma?" said Mia. Mia had come to learn her grandmother had a competitive and stubborn streak. Given the right incentives, she would agree to almost anything, within reason when that streak was challenged.

Clarisse narrowed her eyes at her granddaughter. Mia returned her gaze calmly.

"Fine, but not one word about this ever again," declared Clarisse.

"Agreed," said Mia. "Lily, you will be our judge."

"Okay," said Lily.

She really shouldn't have been surprised at Mia's actions. She knew Mia had been trying to match make between her grandmother, and Joseph ever since they arrived for their final summer before graduating college. Although she was a bit surprised that Mia had pulled Shades into the mix. Perhaps there was something there with Shades and Mia that bore watching. The arrival of the two men pre-empted any more speculation on her part.

"Hi Joe, hi Shades," greeted Mia. "Umm…before I tell you why I asked you both down here could you dismiss the other guards that are around?"

Joe looked a bit perplexed at this request, but a soft order in his microphone had the guards moving from their posts. Once the guards had left the pool area, Mia stood. Clarisse rose as well, butterflies flitting through her stomach.

"The reason I asked you two down here was to prove a theory," began Mia. "See earlier today Lily, and I were watching a movie, and there was a scene in the movie that caused a heated debate between she and I. I maintain what happened in the movie would never happen in real life, while Lily and Grandma both maintain it would. We need your assistance to prove or disprove the theory."

The two men looked at each other in confusion before Joseph answered, "We are at your service, Your Highness, Your Majesty."

"Good," said Mia, moving to stand in front of Shades. "Now how should we do this? The same as the movie?" she asked her grandmother.

Taking a deep breath, Clarisse moved to stand in front of Joseph. "It would be the best way," said Clarisse.

"Okay. Lily, you are the judge," Mia said, before turning back to Shades.


"Your Highness," he said.

"How do you like to kiss?" she asked.

Shades shook his head. "Pardon?"

"How do you like to kiss? Do you like to kiss like this?" Mia asked placing a soft kiss to Shades' lips before pulling away, touching him with only her lips.

"Or do you prefer this way?" she asked as she stepped in closer, wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned against him, kissing him slowly.

When she ended the kiss she moved away, and seeing the look on Shades face she turned to smirk at Lily confident she had proven her theory. Mia was unexpectedly pulled back into Shades arms.

"I prefer to kiss like this," he said as his lips captured hers in a devastating kiss. Mia could do nothing but moan as Shades kissed her sensually, his arms holding her tightly as his hands raised gooseflesh on her skin.


Clarisse watched as her granddaughter stood in front of Shades.

She moved nearer to Joseph, asking the same question Mia was now asking Shades.


"Yes, Your Majesty?" answered Joseph.

"How do you like to kiss?"

Joseph's eyes widened in shock and he shook his head in bewilderment. "Excuse me?" he said.

"How do you like to kiss? Do you like to kiss like this?" Clarisse asked placing a soft kiss to Joseph's lips before pulling away, touching him with only her lips.

"Or do you prefer this way?" she asked as she stepped in closer, wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned against him, kissing him slowly. She ended the kiss, and moved back to look into his eyes. What she saw caused her to gasp. Reflected in Joseph's eyes was confusion, love and a fair amount of desire. Clarisse didn't resist when he drew her back into his embrace.

"I prefer to kiss like this," he said, as he slowly, sensually, captured her lips in a drugging kiss. His lips moved leisurely over hers learning their texture, and he darted teasing licks against the seam of her lips.

Clarisse's hands slid up and around his neck and she responded to his teasing licks by opening her mouth. Joseph immediately invaded her mouth with his tongue, groaning at the taste of her as their tongues duelled and sparred. Clarisse pressed herself closer to Joseph, a low purr escaping as his warm hands caressed her back.


Lily looked at the two couples locked in heated embraces. Neither couple was aware of anything but each other. After a particularly deep moan coming from Mia that Lily was sure had nothing to do with Shades kissing, and everything to do with his caresses, Lily gathered her towel, sunglasses and IPOD before quietly walking away.

She would let the Hub know Joseph and Shades were still guarding Her Majesty and Her Highness and did not need assistance. She would also let Charlotte know the Royals were enjoying some quality time together.

She was pretty sure Mia and her grandmother would be occupied for the next few hours. That would be plenty of time for Lily to finish her book, and maybe, just maybe visit with a certain cute Palace guard or two.

The End