Alice tried to hide a giggle with both of her hands
Jacob signed. "What now?"
Currently, they were sitting on the floor of her large bathroom, surrounded by all of the shampoos, body sprays, air fresheners and rinses that they bought earlier.
Alice let herself tip over onto the floor, still laughing. Jacob knew that if she had been human, she would have been gasping for breath and bright red. "You're sitting Indian style!"
"Seriously?" He asked.
She forced herself back into a sitting position and waved her hands in the air. "I'm good, I'm good. Sorry!" She took a deep, though unneeded, breath to calm down.
Leaning over, Jacob picked up two of the bottles from the floor. "I don't know where to start." He muttered, reading the backs of each bottle before depositing them back on the floor.
Alice picked up one labeled "Twilight Woods" and tapped her finger on it. "I think you should give this one a try, it smells good." She tossed it over to him and he gave it a sniff, nodding approvingly. "Now you pick one for me!"
"We could just get little tree air fresheners and hang them off of you." He laughed when she punched him in the shoulder. "Alright, alright. Hold on a minute I have to look." He took a moment to read a few more bottles, and finally settled on one.
She snatched it from his hands. "This doesn't even say what it is! It's just called Pixie Dust." She growled a bit, but opened the top of the bottle and sniffed cautiously. "Hm… actually this smells really good. Fine, I'll try it." She looked up at Jacob. "So…now what?"
He shrugged. "Should I try to wash while I'm actually phased? I've never done that before. Usually I just take regular showers."
Alice nodded. "Yeah, that might help. You can get in the tub and I will use the detachable showerhead to clean you." She picked herself up off of the floor and dusted herself off, then turned around so she didn't have to watch him strip.
He did so quickly, folding his clothes neatly and placing them on the countertop. Seconds later, a horse sized wolf stood in his place.
Alice turned around and looked up at him. "Ugh, you'd better not shed in my shower. I don't want you clogging up my drain."
The dog grinned at her and stuck his tongue out at her, licking her cheek.
She huffed and wiped at her face with her sleeve. "Jacob, that is just disgusting. Get in the tub." She pushed him towards the shower stall, but realized after he stepped in, that there was almost no room for her. "Crap…" She muttered.
Realizing what she had to do, she swallowed her pride and hoisted herself up onto Jacobs back. She could hear him snickering below her. "Don't get any fancy ideas, just hold still." Alice reached over from where she was sitting, turned on the water and grabbed the detachable showerhead. "You have to tell me if it's too hot or cold, if it bothers you at all." She watched as his head bobbed carefully up and down. "Gooood puppy."
With one hand, she began to hose him down, the other she used to pour on the rinse. The lather bubbled up and she began to giggle slightly, realizing how absolutely silly the whole situation was. She was soaked, with Jacob in the tub and she was washing him. Could things get any more bizarre?
She really wished that she had thought to change into a different shirt. It had been white, but now it was completely see through. Usually she would be warned about something like this, but since she had no sight where Jacob was concerned and she hadn't thought to use her brain.
Alice realized that she relied too heavily on her visions. This must be how Edward felt with Bella when he couldn't read her mind. He actually had to get to know her…
Jacob attempted to turn his head to see Alice. She was so lost in thought that she didn't realize that she'd poured the entire bottle of rinse onto his back. Bubbles were gathering everywhere and spilling onto the floor of the bathroom and were also all over the both of them. He let out a small bark to catch her attention. She shook her head and glanced down at him.
Her mouth formed a small "O" when she realized what she had been doing. "Okay, I've got to get this cleaned up…" She said mostly to herself. She tried to lean over, to switch the setting on the shower head, but the gathering bubbles made her slip sideways.
"Oh my God, you have got to be kidding me!" She said. Alice was wedged between the tile wall and Jacobs's warm, furry body. "Can you please move so I can slip down?" She begged. Bubbles dripped from the top of his back onto her face, she spit, trying to get them out of her mouth.
As carefully as he could, Jacob moved a little to the side. But the slippery bottom of the bathtub was not the best surface for his nails and paws to grip onto and he started to slide. He let out a yelp and tried to stay upright. Alice slipped from where she was wedged and fell under him, onto the bottom of the tub.
Even though he knew he couldn't actually hurt her, he instinctually phased back to his human form so he would not crush her. He landed on top of her with a loud "Oof!"
They sat there in shocked silence for a moment, neither one of them believing that they had just had a "Bella Moment."
Someone cleared their throat.
It wasn't either of them.
"What, exactly, is going on?"
Both of their heads snapped towards the door of the bathroom to see that each and every one of their family members had piled into the doorway. It was Edward who had spoken. He leaned against the far wall, a smirk on his face. Nessie hung on his shoulder, her eyes puzzled.
Jacob scrambled up and snatched a towel from the shelf next to the shower. "Its not what it looks like, really…"
"Oh really?" Jasper asked, stepping forward. "Because it sure does look like you were laying naked on top of my wife in the shower…"
Alice was too stunned to move, she lay there on the bottom of the floor, gazing at Jasper, trying to gage his reaction. She still couldn't see a thing about how this would turn out. She mentally scowled at Jacob.
But she noticed that none of the family looked angry. They all looked more than amused. Bella was trying her best to hold in the laughter, as was Jasper. Rosalie just looked disgusted she huffed and turned to leave, her blond hair swinging behind her. Jacob's eyes lit up, Edward laughed lightly.
"Hey Rose…" He said, immediately phasing back into his wolf form. She stopped and turned around. As she did, he stepped close to her, and started shaking his entire body. Sheets of water flew at her and by the time he was finished shaking off, she was just as soaked as Alice.
She seethed. "You disgusting mongrel!" She curbed herself, there was much more that she wanted to call him, but with Nessie in the room, she would never dare. Instead, she stomped out of the bathroom, plotting revenge.
Alice slowly lifted herself out of the tub, and looked at the floor ashamed. "I'm sorry Jasper, cant you tell that I'm being honest that nothing happened?" She looked up at him hopefully.
He grinned at her. "Yes darlin' I can tell. Go get dressed; we all have a surprise for you downstairs."
They all left to go back downstairs while they waited for Alice to get new clothes on and for Jake to just get his clothes on. They took only a few minutes and walked down the stairs together.
Little wrapped gifts littered the living room. Alice looked at them all in wonder. Everyone was grinning at her. "Wh-what is all of this?" She asked, finally reaching her family.
Esme stepped forward. "Honey, technically, today is your birthday. We wanted to give you a surprise party." She smiled sweetly and gave Alice a hug.
"But-" Alice shook her head, it just didn't make sense.
Jasper laughed. "Why do you think we left you home with the pup all day?"
Alice turned towards Jacob in shock. "You knew about this?"
He grinned and made a movement as though he was tipping his hat to her. "Of course, why else would I have put up with that crap for so long?"