Title: Celebrity is as Celebrity Does
Author: ForceForGood
Summary: How will venerable Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi cope with the pressures of celebrity during the Clone Wars? A Siriwan.
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor
Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Siri Tachi
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars and I'm certainly not making money off this!

I hate - well, I don't hate, but I intensely dislike this, Jedi Master and General Obi-Wan Kenobi grumbled to himself.

Obi-Wan stood in an annex of the Galactic Senate building on Coruscant, surrounded by politicians and HoloNet reporters and camera droids shining bright lights in his eyes as he deflected the questions that barraged him from every side.

Why am I stuck doing this, when Anakin is the one who loves all the attention? he thought.

He knew the answer to that, though. No sooner had they landed on Coruscant after a long and grueling battle to retake Pengalen IV for the Republic, Chancellor Palpatine had whisked Anakin away to his office at 500 Republica for a hot drink and a long chat. And Obi-Wan was stuck with the mob, when he wanted nothing better than to fly straight to the temple, take a long shower and spend the rest of the day meditating to regain the peace that eluded him after so many weeks of fighting.

The worst part was that, mixed up with the serious journalists from the HoloNet who wanted him to give gory details and divulge sensitive battle strategies, there were also all the gossip-mongering tabloids who wanted to know if Anakin Skywalker was as handsome in real life as he looked in the holovids, and whether the Jedi Order would ever consider revoking the no-attachment rule, and what color robe Obi-Wan would wear if the Jedi were to ever start wearing colors, and why didn't he try the clean-shaven look again, like he had during the Battle of Naboo?

It was enough to give this Jedi Master a massive headache.

At last he was able to detach himself from the crowd and head for the exit. Just before he reached the door, however, it opened and a blond woman in a flight suit walked in and blocked his path.

"Pardon me," he said hastily and tried to skirt around her.

She stepped in his path again, and Obi-Wan got a closer look at her face. It was Siri Tachi. Before he could react, she plastered a bubbly smile on her face and gasped, "General Kenobi! I ... I don't believe it!"

Siri grabbed his hand and eagerly shook it.

"It's such an honor!" she gushed. "You're a real, honest-to-goodness hero! I heard all about your latest battle on the HoloNet, you saved all those people! Wow!"

With growing horror, Obi-Wan realized that Siri wasn't wearing her lightsaber, or had concealed it in her flight suit somewhere, and that to the crowd of people still milling around the lobby she looked like just another Coruscanti woman obsessed with the exploits of the Kenobi and Skywalker team during the Clone Wars.

"You're very kind," Obi-Wan said as he extracted his hand from her grip.

"My mother is your biggest fan," Siri cooed. "Listen, would you ... would you sign your autograph for her? Please?"

Uncomfortably aware of all the pairs of eyes on his back, Obi-Wan had no choice but to smile politely and say, "Of course."

Siri managed to beg a sheet of flimsi from someone nearby and bounced up and down on her toes as Obi-Wan signed it.

"Thank you SO much," she said. "You're every bit as nice as everyone says you are. Listen, did you ever think of shaving your beard? I think you would look ever so much more sophisticated, don't you think?"

Obi-Wan found himself entirely at a loss for words.

"Well, I don't want to keep you," Siri said with a sigh, stepping at last out of his way. "You must have more important things to do than talk to me ... meditating, practicing with your lightsaber..." Her eyes flicked down to his belt as she coyly twirled a lock of her hair around her finger.

Obi-Wan was rather irritated with himself when he felt the heat of a blush blooming across his cheeks. "Have a nice day," he said, conscious of Siri's mischievous eyes on him as he finally made his escape.

Obi-Wan walked with rapid strides across the courtyard and onto the landing pad where his speeder was parked. He swung in and started the engine, then buried his face in his hands and sighed deeply.

Sensing a presence, he turned his head to see Siri leaning against his door.

"Mind if I catch a ride to the Temple?" she said with a devilish grin.

Obi-Wan just looked at her.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Why are you trying to make my life miserable?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Trying?" Siri said. "Do or do not, there is no..."

"Put a sock in it, Tachi," Obi-Wan advised her.

"Oh my my my, what's put you in such a bad mood?" Siri said.

"Your mother is my biggest fan?" Obi-Wan said. "Your MOTHER?"

"I'm your second-biggest fan," Siri reassured him, patting his cheek condescendingly.

Obi-Wan glared down at the speeder controls.

"Are you going to leave me standing here all day, or what?" Siri asked.

Obi-Wan sighed again, but then patted the passenger seat next to him.

Siri swung in and kissed his cheek. "I knew you'd forgive me," she said.

"I'll have my revenge, Siri Tachi," Obi-Wan said as he hit the accelerator. "Just you wait."


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