Disclaimer: I don't own futurama
A Date with Leela
Bender and the Robot Devil often got together to play cards. Sure, the Robot Devil had once tried to get Bender damned for eternity, but they still got along pretty well--they were fellow evil robots after all. It was during one of these card games that Bender asked the question that started it all.
"So listen, RD," Bender said, picking a card from the deck, "What would you have done if Fry hadn't given you your hands back?"
Beelzebot carefully examined his cards. "I don't know, Bender. Can't you see I'm trying to concentrate?"
"I want to know," Bender insisted. "Were you really gonna marry Leela if he had said no?"
"No. I would have found another way to get my hands back," Beelzebot answered, still looking at his cards.
"Eh, just as well. You probably couldn't have married her anyways."
Beelzebot looked up, suddenly interested. "What makes you think that?"
"Well, come on! Bigboots would never marry ya, even if they paid her."
"And why wouldn't she marry me?" The robot devil asked, slightly offended.
"First of all, you're a robot and second of all, you're not good enough for her--you ain't her type."
"And you are?" Beelzebot asked, skeptically.
"Of course I am. Every chick loves Bender--fembot or human. I have a swarthy latin charm while you..." Bender drifted off.
"Please, Bender, don't kid yourself. You're a stealing, whore mongering, chain smoking robot with no moral values whatsoever. I, on the other hand, am charming and a great musician. It's obvious she'd pick me."
"Pshh, don't make me laugh! She'd pick me over you in a second."
"Why don't we find out, then?" Beelzebot suggested, tauntingly.
"Find out? What'cha talking about?"
"Let's see who she'd date."
"And how the heck do you want to find that out? Ask her?"
"Oh no, no, no. We'll just see who can convince her to go on a date first."
Bender rubbed his chin. "Like a contest?"
Beelzebot smiled. "Exactly! Starting tomorrow, we'll both try and persuade Leela to go on a date with us. Whoever does it first wins."
"What does the winner get?"
"A solid gold fiddle."
Bender waved a hand dismissively. "Psh, laame! You'll have to do better than that! Besides, wasn't that a prize last time? Pass."
"Okay, fine. How about this - the loser has to give the winner 200 dollars. Is it a deal?"
200 bucks? That's a whole lotta beer, Bender thought. All he had to do was get Leela to go on a date with him. It couldn't be too hard; after all, he did have a swarthy latin charm and was all around great! It was obvious he'd win.
"Fine, I'll do it!"
Beelzebot and Bender spent the rest of the afternoon playing their card game, both of them secretly anticipating their sure victory over the other.
Leela opened the door to Planet Express and walked in. Another work day was ahead--hopefully, this time, she'd make a delivery where she was expected to come back alive. She went to the lounge room and looked around. Not a single sound could be heard. Maybe she had come in too early?
"Hello? Anyone here?"
Leela turned around and saw Bender grinning at her. "Oh hi, Bender. Where is everyone?"
"Hermes went home because something in his morning coffee made him feel sick."
"Really? What about the Professor?"
"He's really sick too," Bender said, quickly tossing a bottle of laxative into the garbage. "Say, Leela, have I mentioned you look great? Almost as great as me—Bender!"
Leela looked at herself. She was wearing her usual white tank top, black sweatpants and her hair was tied up in a ponytail-- she looked just like always.
"Thanks, I guess."
Bender moved towards Leela and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I was thinking that since everyone's gone, how 'bout we go for a walk, eh?"
"Yeah, just a nice, long walk through New New York – you and me! We never do anything fun together."
Leela couldn't shake off the feeling that something was wrong with this picture. Bender never wanted to do anything 'fun' with her, much less walk around the city. "Uh… sure. I suppose we could do that."
Leela and Bender were resting on a park bench; Bender was gesturing with his hands as he told Leela a story.
"And so then, Fry tripped on a can of Slurm and fell on his face. I've never laughed so hard in my life!"
Leela giggled. "Poor Fry, no wonder he had such a big bruise."
"Pft, he's had worse. Remember that time he ran into that glass door?"
Leela started laughing. "Now that was funny. You know, Bender, I'm actually having a pretty great time. I'm glad we decided to hang out."
"Heh, me too! I thought for sure I'd be bored out of my mind, but I guess I was wrong."
"Hey!" Leela exclaimed, punching Bender playfully.
"I'm just kidding, Leela," he chuckled.
Bender had never really hung out with Leela like that before so, it wasn't until then that he realized he had missed on a lot of fun. Even though Leela was his friend, he had never seen such a care-free, intimate side of her. He kinda understood why Fry liked her so much. She was smart, nice, beau- Whoa, whoa, whoa! What am I thinking? This is Leela I'm talking about! I better hurry up and win the bet before these weird feelings appear again
"Oh, Bender, how about we go to that new ice cream parlor that opened near here? I've been wanting to go for a while."
Bender and Leela were sitting down at a table inside the ice cream parlor.
"Oh my god, that was delicious!"
Bender nodded. "Yeah, this 'bolts 'n cream' Ice cream tastes real good."
"Too bad they're so expensive because I could sure eat another one," sighed Leela.
Bender suddenly got up and walked towards the counter. He came back five minutes later with another vanilla ice cream and offered it to Leela. "Your ice cream, milady."
"But Bender, I don't have any money left…"
"It's my treat," he said, sitting back down on his chair and putting the ice cream on the table.
It'd be a lie to say Leela wasn't touched. Never had she heard of Bender giving someone something that he had actually paid for, instead of stealing it. "Thank you, Bender."
"Y-yeah, whatever. Stop the mushy stuff and start eating, will ya?" he stuttered. His internal temperature was rising, causing the gray metal of his cheeks to turn red from the heat. He felt a little embarrassed. What was happening to him? He'd never felt like this before! Why did he get the urge to buy her the ice cream just to see her smile? Get a grip, Bender. You bought her the ice cream so there'd be more of a chance that she'd agree to go on the date--there are no other reasons.
"Bender? Are you okay?"
"Wha? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Anyways, listen Leela; I want to ask you something."
Leela smiled at him. "What is it, Bender?"
Bender could feel the words stuck in his throat. "Uh, I...I was wondering if you'd like to go ou-"
"Bender! Long time no see, man!"
Both Leela and Bender turned around to find a buff looking manbot walking towards them.
Bender groaned. "Hi, Wally..."
Wally punched Bender on the shoulder, provoking the latter to wince. "Hey, man! I haven't seen ya in years! Why don't we catch up?"
"Not now," Bender hissed at him.
Wally looked at Leela and grinned. "You don't mind if I take Bender away for a few hours, do you? I didn't think so! Thanks!"
Before Leela could even answer, Wally literally lifted Bender from the table and started walking away.
"What the hell?! Lemme go, lemme go!" Bender yelled, trying to break free from Wally's grip.
"Uh...bye, Bender!" Leela yelled. She wanted to do something but she had a feeling that she wouldn't be able to pry the manbot away from Wally.
Meanwhile, Wally walked into a nearby abandoned store and threw Bender inside.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Bender demanded, getting up.
Wally smiled apologetically. "Heh, sorry man. I owe the Robot Devil some dough and he told me he'd clear the debt if I kept you locked in here 'till the end of the day."
"What? No, wait," Bender yelled when Wally left and locked the door behind him.
"Let me out – now!"
Now that Bender was gone, Leela didn't have anything to do but go back to Planet Express. She felt a little sad Bender had to leave since they'd been having such a nice time so she decided to walk back through the park to lift her mood a bit.
While walking through the park, a soft music reached her ears. She stopped and listened to the music. Someone was playing a violin apparently--and whoever it was damn good at it. Her love of music getting the best of her, Leela followed her ears towards the music. She finally reached a little clearing and was shocked to find the Robot Devil playing his golden violin. His eyes suddenly opened and he looked at her while still playing his violin.
"Hello, Leela," he greeted her, cheerfully placing the violin beside him. "What a nice surprise!"
Leela immediately looked at him suspiciously. "Hi..."
"How are you?" he continued, ignoring her untrusting stare. "You look well."
"What do you want?"
"Me? You're the one who came to see me, my dear."
"This is too convenient...it's like you've been waiting for me..."
"Waiting for you? Are you perhaps implying that I've been waiting here in this secluded section of the park, playing my violin, hoping you'd be lured by my melodies? Preposterous."
"Then what are you doing here?"
"I'm playing my violin, isn't it obvious? I find it much more relaxing to play here than in Robot Hell. Care to sit down and hear me play?" he offered, gesturing a spot a few feet away from him.
Leela thought about it for a few moments. She did have nothing to do and she did like how he played. Maybe she would stay for just a little while.
Leela settled down on the spot he had indicated and shot a firm glare at him. "This better not be one of your tri-"
"Please, Leela! Can't you relax and enjoy the music?"
Beelzebot picked up his violin, closed his eyes and started fiddling a soft tune. Leela observed him as he played. He looked completely immersed in his playing, as if nothing else existed except for he and his violin. The way he swiftly yet graciously moved his bow over the strings of the golden instrument sent shivers down her spine. How could someone as evil and devious as the Robot Devil play so beautifully? After a few minutes, he stopped and opened his eyes. If he were human, there would have been a satisfied smile on his lips as he looked at Leela.
"That was really beautiful," she admitted.
"Well, my dear, even the devil has a soft side."
"Um, can you play another song?" Leela asked, slightly embarrassed.
"But of course! I always enjoy playing for those who appreciate music as much as I do."
Beelzebot began to play a different tune. This song, unlike the other one, was like a lullaby. Leela closed her eyes and sighed. The music traveled through her body, relaxing every muscle on her body. It was as if she was peacefully floating in the sky, the lullaby acting as the wind carrying her aloft. After a while, the music stopped and Leela sunk back to earth.
"It seems my music almost put you to sleep," Beelzebot remarked with an amused tone.
"I wasn't sleeping!" Leela said, quickly. "I just really enjoyed that... Do you play any other instruments?"
"Yes, some, but I'm quite fond of my violin above all others. You know, I still have the dents."
"The dents you left in my head from when you bashed me with my own violin," he answered in a casual tone.
"Oh, sorry," Leela said sheepishly. "I guess I got carried away back then. I mean, you did want to kill Fry."
"Mmyes… well, good that that's all in the past now!" he declared. "In any case, I must say that I'm pleasantly surprised by how much you love music. Impressed, even."
Leela sighed. "Oh yes, I adore music... I only wish I knew how to play something other the drums."
Beelzebot offered his violin to her. "Try it."
"Are you insane? I can't play that thing! You heard how terrible I was."
"If at first you don't succeed..."
Leela paused, but then seemed to come to a decision as she carefully accepted the violin.
"Yes, I know... try again."
She placed the instrument in correct position and dragged the bow over the strings. Unfortunately, the sound that came from the violin was anything but nice.
"I can't do this!" she exclaimed, frustrated. "I told you I couldn't play!"
"Leela, try it again but this time don't press so hard with the bow," he instructed.
Leela nodded and tried again, this time pressing a little softer. To her absolute joy, a somewhat nice little melody was heard.
"I-I'm doing it! I can't believe it!"
Beelzebot watched quietly as Leela kept playing. Just like Bender at the ice cream parlor, he too forgot all about the bet and only focused on Leela. Leela's elated expression made him feel calm, almost happy. He was compelled, fascinated by the way Leela got so excited over such a small, beginner's achievement. It made him want to teach her how to play the violin so he would be able to see that blissful expression again and again.
Meanwhile, not too far away from there, a certain bending unit was stomping his way through the park. Damned Wally, chargin' me 100 bucks for letting me out! When I see that jerkass Robot Devil, I'm going to beat the heck outta him, Bender thought, viciously. He suddenly heard someone playing the violin --or at least trying to. He made his way to the place and quickly hid behind a tree when he sighted Leela and the object of his fury.
There he is! And he's with Leela...He hasn't won the bet yet because he'd already have told me...the bending unit watched Beelzebot. Something about the way Beelzebot was staring at Leela was odd. He had seen that expression whenever Fry looked at Leela or when a floozy looked at him. Beelzebot wasn't just looking at her; his eyes were completely devouring her! How dare he look at Leela that way! Only he, Bender --and Fry to a point-- were allowed to look at her like that!
I'll kill him! But how am I gonna get him away from her? I'll just go and tell her about the bet so sh-Wait a sec, I can't tell her about the bet. She'll hate me - Bender! Damn it, why did I agree to this stupid bet! Oh wait, I have an idea!
Bender quickly ran to another part of the park and started screaming like a mad man. "Leela, help me! Leeelaaaa!!"
Leela, having heard his wail, stopped playing the violin and glanced around. "Bender…?"
"Leeela! Oh god, it hurts! The pain, the paaaaaiiiin!!," Bender kept yelling in an agonized voice.
Beelzebot grunted in annoyance. That idiotic bending unit had completely ruined an amazing moment!
Leela got up and rushed into the trees, calling Bender's name. Beelzebot tried to stop her but she was already gone. Meanwhile, Bender hid behind a tree; the second Leela streaked past him, he darted towards the spot where Beelzebot was.
"You bastard!" he exclaimed when he encountered the Robot Devil. "The bet's off! You win! I just want you to stay away from Leela!"
"What?" Beelzebot asked with an indignant sniff. "What gives you the right to decide who she can see or can't see?"
"Being her best friend, that's what!"
"Well, frankly, I don't care who you are – I think I like Leela and I want to get to know her!"
"Oh yeah? You'll have to fight me for her then!" Bender growled.
"Gladly," hissed Beelzebot, getting ready to lunge at Bender.
"What the hell is going on here?!"
Both robots turned around to find Leela looking at them furiously.
"Bender! What—?! You— You're not hurt!"
"Uh, L-Leela!" he stuttered nervously, "I...uh...I—"
"You lied! For god knows what reason! I thought something serious had happened to you, Bender! What's wrong with you, making me think you were hurt?!"
"W-Wait, Leela! I can expla-"
"I don't want to hear it! I can't believe it. We were getting along so well..."
"Wait, Leela," Beelzebot suddenly said. "It's my fault. Yesterday, we decided to play a prank on someone."
"Y-Yeah, Leela! We decided to do it before I went out with you and had so much fun! I'm sorry I worried you, Leela."
"I'm sorry too," Beelzebot added. "I was having quite a nice time with you."
Leela looked back from Bender to Beelzebot furiously. "What's wrong with you men? You think it's funny to play with my emotions? Honestly!"
Leela turned around and angrily stomped away from them.
"I think that went rather well!"
"Psh. You're just saying that, because you won't have to face her tomorrow at work..."
Several days had passed since the 'incident'. Leela wasn't angry at Bender anymore but she still shot him the occasional glare. That day, Bender was alone in his apartment when somebody knocked at the door. He got up, opened the door and looked at the visitor.
"Bender! My biggest fan!"
"C-Calculon?!" Bender exclaimed, not believing his eyes.
"Yes," Calculon confirmed with a dramatic voice. "Someone told me you had a fight with your best friend! You poor, devastated robot. You can finally rest at peace because I'm inviting you to come see me film an episode of my show! Come, my loyal fan!" Calculon turned around and started walking away.
Bender stood still in utter disbelief for a few moments before running after Calculon.
"Wait for me, Calculon!"
"So Calculon agreed to go see Bender?" Leela asked the robot lounging about on her couch.
"He did owe me a lot of favors… so, when I asked him to go see Bender, he couldn't refuse!" Beelzebot answered.
"But why did you do it?"
"Well, If Bender hadn't provoked me into making the bet, I wouldn't have gotten to know you better."
Beelzebot held up his violin and smiled at Leela. "Shall we start with the class?"