Here's just a short little story about Dean's thoughts on Jess after she was killed. Enjoy!


Twas Better To Have Loved?

I hate her.

Sam loved Jess. I know that. He was even going to ask her to marry him! And I know Sam. He would never have done something that drastic unless he was absolutely sure about his love for Jess. Sam was totally committed to her. And where does that absolute commitment leave my brother now?

I'll tell you where.

It leaves Sam as a sleep-deprived, sober, guilt-ridden, grieving, shell of what he was once was who is out for revenge.

Every night, without fail, he wakes up screaming and crying for his lost love. Tossing and turning in his sleep, and looking for some way out from the same, unending, torturing nightmare.

But there really is no way out from a nightmare like this one.

I can only imagine how hard it was for Sam to love again. After Mom… Well, Dad never let himself get too close to another woman again. And he taught us to pretty much do the same. "People you love are always at risk!" he'd rant. "The best thing you can do for everyone is to not get involved with their lives! Down the line, that'll save their lives!"

Personally, I always took it to heart. I didn't have a choice. But Sam… I knew he always wanted something more than a one-night stand.

I wonder what he wants now…?

Some say that even when people die, at least you got to know them when they were alive. What's that old saying? "'Twas better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."

Bullshit.

If Sam had the choice, I honestly don't know if he would still fall in love with Jess and just hang on for dear life, or if he'd keep his distance from her. I don't know. I guess I don't really know much about Sam anymore.

All I do know is that if Sam never met Jess, he'd never have to endure this pain now, and keep enduring it for the rest of his life.

"Jess! No, no, Jess! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, please! No! Come back, Jess! Please!"

I hear the desperate cries come from the bed beside me. Time to go to work.

I hate Jess, for loving Sam.


So, does it deserve a second chapter? Maybe? Or is it good just like that? Did you even like it? Tell me in a review! See you around!

Thanks for reading!