He watches her wash herself after one of his Slushie attacks. It's obvious that she doesn't know he's there but he figures she wouldn't expect anything else from him. Beyoncé is with her, rambling about Finn's ass and getting her hair fixed. It's okay, because he's gay, otherwise Noah Puckerman would throw him into a dumpster again.
The problem is he can't help himself. It's like all those years ago, when he showed her a snake and she freaked out completely. Now she simply accepts the fact that he is harassing her. He hates her because he knows she thinks it's because he's jealous. What he is so not…
When Beyoncé leaves, she is alone and stares into the mirror almost as if the answers of the questions, locked inside her head, are right in front of her. She is so deep in thought that she barely recognizes the Cheerios leaving the room laughing about the purple colour of her skirt. He knows what is going to happen next because, even if everybody else is so busy looking away, he is well aware of the fact that she is wasting away right in front of him.
A sob escapes her throat and she trembles, she quivers, like the leaf in the hedge. This moment is important because it emphasized the theme of redemption. He thinks he's never going to slushie her again but he knows it's going to happen again because he is the stud and she the loser.
He is supposed to be looking after his team. Not this Gleek. Not some stupid pretty girl who is clearly over stressed. She gets too involved with herself and now she is paying for it. Sensitive people get worn down quicker than hard people…
The next day he thinks she's fine because she is talking as if she'd just swallowed a dictionary. Sometimes he asks himself why she couldn't stop speaking. It's like she needs to be heard, because otherwise she would disappear.
He is the only one who sees the dark circles under her eyes. They're the signature from all of them; Finn for breaking her heart; Quinn for harassing her; Kurt for telling her she has no style; Mercedes for being much more of a diva than Rachel could've ever been; him for… well… let's not get there…
The clothes get baggier but he just can't bring himself to care, even though he should because she is in his heart.
Sometimes she looks at him, eyes almost asking.
One day after Glee they sit next to each other in silence. She is taking comfort in his presence and he is relieved that she is still breathing. "You're hungry?
Rachel's head drops down and looks at her feet. "I can't eat. Every time I try I throw up."
"You're dying." He sees her tense and watches as she slowly opens her eyes and turns around to face him; face pale, clutching her bag tightly. She doesn't speak and he doesn't know what he wants her to say so he speaks again.
"It's hard not to…"
"The other's didn't…", she whispers.
"It's not like they're very attentive…"
"But you are?"
A/N: Thanks to my Beta, Knautschi. :D Yes that's her name. Don't make fun about it. She's pretty sensitive.
Reviews are very much appreciated. (: