Warverse Epilogue – chpt 3
A/N - Special love and thanks to everyone who's stuck with my little verse and kept coming back for more even when no one was sure of where things were going. (sometimes even me! Those winchester boys can be very mysterious!) I hope they bring me more adventures to share. This is the final chapter of the Epilogue. If anything is unclear please let me know.
Thanks, and thanks again for being here!
Love and respect!
'Why'd you do it Sam? Why in the hell after everything we've been through did you let that fucker in?' the question puzzles me for a moment as the pressure builds inside. But I can't tell whether it's Lucifer's doing or if it's me. And then as if I never forgot, I know everything, (including why and how we forgot everything, and now I know what I should have known then.).
The are no holes. 'This happened. This was real.' I know as my body flies back down the corridor.
That ancient something that (yes I'm going to say it cause it's totally fuckin' appropriate) VEXED me just a few minutes ago is ME. And now I know why Sam said 'yes'. Because he believes in me, because we knew he had to.
The only way out, is through.
The men we were seven years ago were so different than the men we became. How things happened the way they did, the 'why' of it, the truth of who we are and have always been, it's us, it's always been us and we came to accept that it would always BE us. Believe it or not, we're okay with it. But we'll get back to that later, right now we're trying to kill each other.
See, we didn't make the rules, but the rule is that Sammy has to die, so I'm going to kill him, well actually it's Lucifer I'm going to kill, Sam just happens to be the body he's in. Which actually serves exactly as it's meant to. Y'know if I ever run into Castiel's 'Father' I'm gonna punch it right in the face.
Sam knew how to kill demons, still does, in spite of it all Ruby served her purpose but no way in hell would I ever tell him that, well maybe if I got really drunk and was feeling really sentimental. But there's only a few things that can kill angels the two most important being other angels, and the right kind of God. (I'm not talking some watered down and assimilated woods gods here, I'm talking about the kind of god that has the power of creation. I'm talkin' about me.)
I barely feel it as I push up, standing toe to toe with a cast down cherub joy-riding in my son's vessel. Oh yeah, this little bastard needs a serious butt whoopin'.
The energy rolls up, actually it just kinda 'becomes there' when I need it. It's been a long time since I killed anything like this. Close to about 3 millennia really, yeah I think it was about a thousand years before Christ was born.
"That the best you got?" the Dean in me asks.
It's weird, like something choreographed as we both throw at the same time. And I do mean throw as in power, it's a sensation I'd almost forgotten, like so much else.
The wall takes another chunk out of me but Sam's body flies, I wince watching him ricochet back the way he came.
We're both a little slower to get up, but I'm faster throwing this time. I'm older, more experienced and even if a little rusty, I know my boy is in there bunging up that petulant angel. Seem's many of them have become petulant over the centuries.
I grimace, holding my boy's body to the wall. I can feel Lucifer squirming inside him trying to get away from power more ancient than he can conceive of. But between the tat, Sam, Marduk and me he doesn't stand a chance. 'I wish I didn't have to kill your body son. I hate to see you die again.'
There's a war going on inside my boy. I can feel it. Marduk and Sam are holding on with everything they've got, doing their damnedest to keep that angry ex-angel inside. See, now I understand why even though he's psychic and all, it's taken him that much longer for the two of them to become one. They knew they'd need their separate strengths to hold this little fucker inside so I could do what I had to.
I can feel his body dying, his heart leaping and skipping. Going into what doctors call 'atrial fibrilation' as the angel fights for freedom now, caring less about having a vessel than a life at all. This is why it had to be Sam and why I had to be the one to kill him.
It never bothered to consider that it would lose but like the old saying goes, 'pride goes before the fall', and because of it I have to take a life before its time, sorta.
That's always been the worst part of being a god, it's different when it's mercy, but when folly is the cause it's more than a little sad.
He's gasping now, Sam that is. And inside me Dean is despairing, but even so we both know I can't stop, not just yet. We are creatures of creation he and I, this intentional destruction is truly abhorrent to our very natures.
"Dean please..." Lucifer gasps as Sam's color goes from red to purple, first kind of a magenta as his capillaries burst both in and around his eyes.
"Father..." he chokes next.
We force ourselves to turn a deaf ear.
The vessel is almost dead now. Finally my power reaches the angel.
A vein of white that is the angel's essence, shoots through a crack that zigs across the human chest.
I stand only inches away from a man who has been everything important to me through ages most would never believe. He's been my son, my king, my brother and best friend. He was the first creation of my own soul's purest joy.
I hear the final beat of his heart. Tears slide down my face.
Cracks spiderweb through the now dead body in a palm leaf pattern of destruction the angel's mistress dew into his flesh.
Dark streams and rivers of de-oxygenated blood ooze from everywhere, down his cheeks from his eyes, over his mouth from his nose and down his chin from his mouth.
Inside me Dean is still and silent.
Only his heart speaks, begging for this to be banished from memory. Everything from Marduk, and me, everything from the moment they first suspected Sam's destiny; he wants it all back the way it was 'before'. I can do that but he doesn't understand the full extent of what he's wishing. Which is why I'm showing him this now, before it's too late to make it right.
White light explodes out of Sam's body then turns red, then blue, then violet as the essence of the angel evaporates, returning to the unbound energy that all things are created from. It has been unmade.
Its final scream weakens the structure we're in. Chunks of ceiling and masonry fall all around me. I will not move until every last vestige of that sinister cherub is gone. Even when Sam's body 'thuds' to the floor, his blood oozing out of a thousand different tears, his shattered bones grinding like crystal shards inside his skin, I do not move until the deed is done.
This is why it had to be us. Why it had to be me.
Finally as the building rains down around us I sense nothing left of the cherub and nothing left of my son.
The darkness, debris and flood of tears have left me blind. I fall to my knees and gather my boy in my arms.
"We're through it. It's done. The destinies are fulfilled."
Dean's anguish shatters this little corner of the world. A cry of pure despair echoes through what's left of the structure.
I give all I have. The will of life flows into the broken body I hold.
We know we will bring him back. We know it's why we had to be the one to take his life so we could give it back, but Dean's been human for a long human time, and in spite of my own certainty, over there, in some far away corner a flicker of doubt actually tried to make its way into my mind.
But this is the best part of being a god. Creation is beauty, creation through love is joy.
"Come back to me son, it's time now." Coaxing life forward is a delicate task.
Warmth flows from me, heating the lifeless flesh, mending broken bone and drawing back the souls of the house. They're together, finally one as Dean and I will be once this is done.
Their fear, born of the uncertainty of their human experience has changed the history of them.
When they return to the world I will give them a single last gift as an individual entity.
With the deed now done, they've no need to fear Lucifer, or destiny, or the destruction of the world, but fear is not so easily shaken off.
If they so choose, they will have one chance to either remember it all, or to cast it all away. From the moment I first made Dean aware that he and Sam were destined for something greater than they'd ever considered, even before that, from the moment Dean's body, broken and dying was brought to her, the woman we are incomplete without, everything can be undone.
Sam will not recall ever having suffered at Lilith's talons, or the heartbreak of leaving his own first born son in the hands of someone else.
Neither of them will recall that they each had someone to whom they finally could belong, and instead will live as they always have, moving rootless with none but each other to share and experience life with.
Of course they can choose to breathe, relieved that they have done what they were 'destined' to do and can now have a choice in the lives they want, they can experience wholeness, fulfillment or they can live knowing always that something is not as it should be.
I know what I would choose. But to truly become part of the living man I will let him decide.
'Holy fuckin' shit!' My eyes snap wide open, I figure I oughtta be panting like I've run a dozen flights of stairs holding my breath but I'm not. 'It really happened... it's really done? Can we be that lucky?' I can't help but wonder cause let's face it, we're Winchesters, Winchester luck sucks. 'But that's not all we are.'
"Dean? You okay?" Sam asks next to me.
"Son of a bitch..." I sigh and as much as it drives me nuts, I can't stop the tears. I can feel Sam's shattered body in my arms, and I remember everything.
This time I get the 'lemon pucker pouty frown' the whole shebang as he does a double take and eases my baby to the shoulder of the road. "Dean? What? What is it?"
It takes a few seconds, we stare into each others' eyes like when we were kids wondering who was going to blink first. Sam was surprisingly good at staring contests I think a lot of the time he actually let me win. But this isn't about confrontation, this is about something different, something huge! Something awesome in fact and I can't even think about stopping the smile that just crawled out onto my face.
"Dean?" he asks. He's intrigued, his voice just turned gentle. He's ready.
I can't say it, not even sure I have the words to explain it, especially not right now, but I know what to do.
I can feel my mouth work a little bit, 'what do I say?'
"Dean what is it?" I can feel him getting a little nervous now.
"We don't have to be scared anymore Sam."
His face goes through the familiar expressions, the furrowed brows, the deeper pucker, the 'is he screwing with me?' face.
"Huh?" he asks.
My hand reaches out, my palm falls to his forehead and my eyes close. I share it all with him. I don't know how I know to do it, but I kinda do cause it's just part of me. Like everything we almost threw away.
The world goes bullet-time around us. Everything grinds to a halt as it all floods into him. He's breathing hard like he's run a marathon, maybe even like I mighta been while Enki reminded me.
A second later he leans back gasping for breath and swallowing hard in rapid succession.
"Guh... wha... my god Dean... what did we almost do?" he breathes before his eyes bulge wide, "Neil! I can raise my son?"
Dean could feel the younger man daring to hope for the first time in far too long. "But what about my vision?"
"Maybe it'll come true, maybe it won't. I'm betting it won't."
"I want my son Dean. I want Kitsune. But..." Sam shook his head.
"There's still evil things to be hunted."
Sam nods and swallows hard, can it really be?
"Do you know what this means Dean?"
"It means we're gonna call our girls and throw us one helluva party! Then after the hangover's are gone we're gonna get your kid back and see what kind of a life we wanna make for ourselves Sam. It means we have a choice!" Dean could barely contain his excitement as he crawled over his little brother, "move over."
They traded places as the world around them burst awake in a shimmer that brought movement and time back to its rightful place.
"I always told you Sammy, we make our own destiny! Now do you believe me?" He grinned pressing the accelerator with undisputable expertise.
A smile for once free of tension peeked out at the corners of Sam's mouth as he nodded, pondering everything Dean just showed him. How could we have wanted to forget the few things we really have that mean everything? "Yeah Dean. I think I really do."