Title: Me and You
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and its affiliated characters do not belong to me. I mean no copyright infringement.
Summary: Takes place right where "I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked" leaves off. Lexie confronts Mark about the mistakes they both made. Mark/Lexie
Spoilers: All episodes through 6x12, "I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked"
Her knees felt weak. She felt lightheaded. Her lip quivered. Her eyes filled with tears. She watched him walk away. She had never felt anything so intensely painful. It hurt more than when she fallen out of a tree in third grade and broke her collarbone. It hurt more than when Joey Bryant, her date to the eighth grade social, left her on the dance floor alone to dance with Heather James. And it hurt excruciatingly more than when she told him their relationship was over because this time, he not only walked away from her, but he had looked at her with such disappointment and disgust that it broke her heart.
Lexie crumbled to the ground. She just couldn't support her weight anymore. Her arms scraped against the gravel below, but she didn't care. She curled herself into a ball, not noticing or caring that she was right outside of the hospital entrance. Her body convulsed with sobs. Everything she had been feeling over the last few days, everything that she had kept in, was pouring out and she couldn't stop it. She didn't want to stop it. She was tired of feeling numb. She needed to feel.
What she felt were arms around her shoulders. She could hear someone saying her name, but she couldn't open her eyes. She didn't want to open her eyes because she knew it wasn't him. It wasn't his strong arms or his voice repeating her name. If it wasn't him, she just simply didn't care who it was.
"Lexie," Meredith said, trying to force Lexie to look up at her, but all she did was pull her legs tighter against her chest. "Lexie, come on. You need to get up. You're in the front of the hospital."
Lexie didn't move. She ignored Meredith, trying to figure out why someone was talking to her in the first place. All she wanted to do was be miserable. She couldn't figure out why someone was trying to stop her.
Meredith sighed and pushed Lexie's hair away from her face. She could see the anguish on Lexie's face and she knew exactly how she felt. She had gone through those feelings more than once herself. Meredith took her cellphone out of her pocket and dialed.
"Out front now," she commanded. "It's Lexie. I need you to help me…move her." She paused. "Just come out front please."
Meredith hung up the phone and began to rub Lexie's back slowly. Kneeling beside her, Meredith tried to shelter her from the onlookers. A dozen bystanders including nurses, doctors, patients, and visitors were standing around watching the scene before them. Meredith didn't want Lexie to become the next topic around the water cooler.
"What happened?" Derek asked as he knelt down beside Meredith.
"What do you think?" Meredith answered sharply. "I told you to tell him to stay away from her."
"You think this is my fault?"
"If he had never slept with her, this wouldn't be happening."
"Didn't she pursue him?"
"And you should have made it clear that she was off limits."
"I did! What was I supposed to do? Tie him to a chair until Lexie finished her internship?"
"No. Maybe you should have just surgically removed his di…"
"Stop it!" Lexie shouted, uncurling herself. "Stop!"
She couldn't stand the shouting. She knew it wasn't Derek's fault. She knew it wasn't Mark's fault. It was her fault. She made the mistake. She gave him the ultimatum. He chose his daughter and she slept with someone else. It was her fault.
"Lexie…" Meredith began.
"I'm glad you didn't make him stay away from me," she cried between sobs. "Mark is amazing. Despite what everyone thinks, he always made me feel like the most important person in the world. He…he was everything I ever wanted and more and I…I lost him. I screwed up."
"You made a mistake," Meredith corrected. "We all make mistakes."
As Meredith spoke, she looked at Derek. She mouthed the words, 'I'm sorry.' She knew he didn't deserve the verbal beating she had just given him. He had done nothing wrong. Meredith was just trying to protect her sister. She never thought she would feel so protective over Lexie, a woman at one time she wished she had never met, but things were different now and she cared. Meredith really cared.
"But it's my fault," Lexie said, sitting up. The tears continued to stream down her face.
"It's not your fault. Mark's just being…difficult," Meredith assured her. "Just give him time."
"I slept with Alex. I slept with Alex!"
"I know, but it was just a mistake," Meredith replied.
"But I'm Lexie. I'm not supposed to make mistakes. I don't have random sex!"
"I wouldn't call Alex random sex," Derek added in.
Lexie glared at him
"Lexie, everyone makes mistakes…including Mark," Meredith said. "He slept with Addison. You both made the same mistake. What makes his any less important?"
Lexie looked up at Meredith sharply. She had been all consumed with blaming herself for what she had done, that she had forgotten his admission. He had slept with Addison. He wasn't sitting in California completely consumed by the sadness of the situation. He wasn't next to Sloan's bedside every minute of every day. He had slept with Addison. Immediately after breaking up with his live-in girlfriend and while his daughter and unborn grandson were in danger of dying, he was sleeping with another woman.
"Oh my God," Lexie whispered.
"Lexie?" Meredith questioned as she saw her anguish turn into anger.
"That bastard!" Lexie shouted. She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand and picked herself up off the ground.
"Lexie, your arm," Meredith said, pointing to Lexie's arm. She had a long scrape running from her elbow to her forearm.
"It's nothing," Lexie said, hiding her arm. She couldn't feel the pain. All she felt was anger. Lexie started walking away.
Meredith followed her while Derek hung back. He would be there if Lexie needed him, but he knew that he wasn't who she needed. There was only one person who could make Lexie feel better.
"Lexie, let's just go home and tomorrow we can…" Meredith began.
Lexie sped up. Meredith had to run to keep up.
"I'm not going home," she stated. "Not yet anyway."
"Lexie, where are you going?" Meredith asked even though she had a pretty good idea.
"To give him a piece of my mind."
"Look, I know how you feel, but talking to him right now is not going to solve things. You're only going to say something you regret."
"You do not know how I feel."
"Do you think you're the only one who's ever been hurt? Do you think you're the only one who's ever had their heart broken?"
They got to the end of the walk. Lexie headed to the right. Meredith grabbed her arm. Lexie immediately hit her arm away.
"Don't!" Lexie shouted, stopping dead in her tracks. "I know I'm not the only one who has ever been heart broken, but I have sat there and I have listened to you and Christina and…everybody else complain about your relationships and your sex lives and your lack there of forever and I am tired of it! Now it's my turn! It's my turn to be miserable and to have someone listen to me! And maybe talking to him right now isn't the right answer, but I don't want to get drunk and I don't want to dance it out! I just want to be angry! I want to be angry at him and at me!" She couldn't stop the words from spilling out. "You have Derek and your perfect post-it wedding! Christina has Hunt and as screwed up as she is, he still loves her! What do I have? Nothing. I'm just the girl who got screwed by Mark Sloan when his daughter came to town!"
Lexie stormed away, leaving Meredith gaping behind her. Derek walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder.
"She's hurting," Derek commented.
"She's acting like a bitch."
"She's hurting," Derek repeated.
Meredith sighed. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."
"Just be there for her."
"Doesn't sound like she wants me to be there for her."
"She will want you. Just give her time."
"This is too hard."
"Being a sister. It's easy when there's drama with someone like Christina. We can just sit there and not say anything at all or we can talk it out and it's ok. But this…I've never been a sister before. I've never dealt with a sister breaking up with her boyfriend. What am I supposed to do?"
"Just be there for her when she's ready."
"Do I let her go to Mark's?" Meredith asked as they watched Lexie disappear out of sight.
"I don't think you have a choice." Derek tugged one her arm. "Come on." Meredith allowed him to lead her into the hospital. As she walked through the front doors, she began feeling like she was the one who needed a drink.
Lexie was practically running by the time she reached his apartment complex. She was breathing heavily, her heart racing. She was running on pure adrenaline, but that was wearing off. She was still angry, but she wasn't sure if she could face him. She began doubting herself and her reasoning. Did she have any right to be angry with him? As she stood outside, his words replayed in her mind. 'I can't even look at you.' Those words pierced her heart. Tears began to prick her eyes again as she began to blame herself once more, but then she remembered Meredith's words. 'He slept with Addison.' She wasn't the only one to blame for what had happened to them.
Lexie wasn't sure what was going to happen, but she did know that she needed to face him. She needed to face him to prove that she wasn't the only one who was wrong and most importantly, she needed to face him to prove that she would make it. With or without him, she would make it.
Lexie walked to the front of the building. Using her key, she let herself in. She walked the familiar path to their apartment. She stood at the door, took a deep breath, and knocked. The door opened seconds later.
"Lexie?" He said, obviously surprised. The first thing she noticed was just how awful he looked. In a way, that made her feel slightly better.
"We need to talk." She pushed her way through and into the apartment, much like she had the first night she had gone to his hotel.
"I really don't want to do this now," Mark replied, leaving the door open. He wanted her to leave. He wanted her to leave because he couldn't stand the thought that Karev had put his hands on her. That Karev had kissed her perfect mouth and knew what it was like to be as connected to Lexie as any person could be to another person.
"You don't have a choice," Lexie stated, her voice low and steady.
Mark rubbed his hand over his face. "Go home, Lexie. Please."
"No!" She shouted. "No! You don't get to talk to me like that! You don't get to tell me that you can't look at me right now because I slept with Alex when you slept with Addison!"
Mark walked further into the apartment and into the kitchen. He was trying to distance himself from her. He wanted her back. There was no doubt about that. He wanted her back because he loved her and needed her, but he wasn't ready. He needed more time and she wasn't willing to give it.
"Don't you walk away from me!" Lexie yelled, slamming the door closed. She could feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins once again. As she followed him into the kitchen, she found him leaning on the counter in front of the sink. "You don't get to walk away from me!"
"What do you want?" He asked, feeling defeated.
"I want you to look at me!"
He turned around, facing her. "Because you slept with him! Because you let him touch you and you let him…" He couldn't finish. The thought hurt him too much.
"So, that's it? You can't look at me because when you do, you see Alex?" He didn't reply. "Does that mean every time I look at you, I'm supposed to see all the women you've slept with? Oh that's right, there's too many to count!"
She knew it was a low blow, but Lexie didn't care. She wasn't going to hide her feelings anymore. She turned around, ready to leave.
"Don't you walk away from me," he growled.
Lexie whipped around with fire in her eyes.
"You can walk away, but I can't? You're the biggest hypocrite I've ever met!"
"What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to say what you feel."
"Fine! I hate that you slept with him!"
"What do you want me to say? I can't take it back! I'm sorry, Mark. It was a mistake, but I slept with him. And instead of hiding it, instead of pretending that it didn't happen, I chose to tell you because I thought you would be able to understand and…"
"Understand? Why? Because I'm the kind of guys who sleeps with his best friend's wife!"
"No! Because you are a good man. You are a warm, loving, incredible man. I expected more from you." A tear rolled down her cheek. She was tired, emotionally and physically. She wasn't sure how much fight she had left in her.
"I can't just forget. I can't forget what you did."
"So this is all because I'm not the perfect little girl you thought I was?"
"I trusted you."
She could feel the adrenaline once more. "And I trusted you! But you went off and slept with Addison! While you were supposed to be distraught and sitting by your sick daughter's bedside, you were sleeping with Addison! How is that any better than what I did?"
"I'm not saying it was."
"Then what is the difference?"
"The difference is I'm me and you're you. I'm the kind of guy who screws up by sleeping with the wrong person, but you…you're the kind of girl who always makes sure there's enough coffee in the morning and who would give her liver to her father without blinking an eye and who climbs into bed with a man who has a broken penis just to stroke his hair and make him feel better. That's you. You're good and you're wholesome and that's why I love you, but…"
Her eyes widened. "What?"
"I said you're good and you're wholesome and…"
"Not that. The last part."
He thought about what he said. He had just been ranting much like she had a tendency to do, and wasn't really thinking about what he was saying. Then he realized what he had admitted and it scared the hell out of him.
"I love you," he said quietly.
Lexie's knees felt weak for the second time that night, but it was a different kind of weak. This wasn't a hurting, damaging weak. This was a sweep her off her feet kind of weak. She put her hand on the kitchen counter, steadying herself. She had gone there ready to fight and to argue until she got what she wanted. What she wanted was laid out right in front of her and she didn't know what to do.
"Do you love me enough?" She asked.
Lexie took a step towards him, ready to stand her ground.
"I'm not going to stand here and beg for your forgiveness. I know I made a mistake and I am sorry. I will regret it for the rest of my life, but you made a mistake too. So I am not going to stand here and beg for your forgiveness for sleeping with Alex just like I don't expect you to stand there and beg for my forgiveness." She took a deep breath. "But I will stand beg for your forgiveness for forcing you to choose between me and your daughter because I realize now that that was a mistake. And I will beg for your forgiveness for leaving you because that was the biggest mistake I've ever made. So I'm asking you, do you love me enough to forgive me for my mistakes?"
She looked so vulnerable. Almost as vulnerable as the day she had walked into his hotel room and asked him 'am I really that bad?' His heart broke when she looked at him like that the first time and it broke again as she looked deep into his eyes.
"I hate the fact that he had his hands on you. I hate to think of you in his bed." She opened her mouth to speak, but Mark raised his hand, silencing her. "But what I hate more is the fact that I hurt you. I hate that I chose Sloan over you…"
"She's your daughter, she…"
Mark put his finger over his lips. He had a tendency to do that a lot with her.
"You talk too much." She smiled and he moved his hand so that he was stroking her hair. "I hate that I made a mistake and slept with Addison. And I hate that I was so afraid to tell you I loved you that I was willing to let you walk away. So the question isn't whether I love you enough, but whether you love me enough."
"I've always loved you."
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his. It was a whisper of a kiss, but they both knew it meant a new beginning.
"We still have a lot to work through," Mark said, leaning his forehead against hers. "There's still Sloan and the baby and the fact that I'm going to have to kill Karev."
"Does that mean I get to kill Addison?" Mark smiled.
"Ok, so how about we agree not to kill the people we shouldn't have slept with."
"Can we talk about this tomorrow? I know things aren't going to be perfect. I know it's going to be difficult, but this last week without you was more difficult. And right now, right now I just want it to be us. Me and you."
"Me and you," he agreed. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.
Author's Note: Ok, so this fic is far from perfect, and I rarely write one-shots, but I wanted to write something in response to last week's episode and this is what I came up with. I hope you liked it and please don't forget to review! (And on a side note, the writers on Grey's better get Mark and Lexie together fast or I might just go crazy!)