Sailor Moon Chronicles S

Genji Flushed Down the Toilet?!

Ratchet Witnesses Genji's Scary Rage

Dr. Nefarious tried yet again to use Amoeboids to ransack Galactic Ranger Outposts throughout the Solana Galaxy. Unfortunately for him, Ratchet and Clank worked to ruin his assaults each time. Now Nefarious has abandoned his plan, seeing that it is crumbling, with one last batch of Amoeboids in the sewers under the Galactic Ranger Outpost in Metropolis, so Ratchet had one more job. Luckily (or unluckily), Captain Qwark was assigned to assist Ratchet and Clank. The Galactic Republic's Academy for Rising Heroes on Planet Dark of Sailor Moon's dimension saw this as a good opportunity to give an up-and-coming hero field training. So Genji Kazemaru was sent into Ratchet's dimension.

"So what is this guy supposed to be like?" Ratchet asked Clank. Ratchet worked a full body suit for his trek into the sewers.

"I have his profile," answered Clank. The small door on Clank's chest opened, and an infobot floated out and expanded into a screen. Genji's profile appeared on the screen. "He is a human, a bit taller than you, and a few years your junior. Let's see… Brown eyes, dark brown hair, light skin…"

"I want to know what he does."

"Oh, yes… right here. He is an apprentice level sorcerer, skilled in several fields of spells and enchantments, but his greatest skill is in electricity based magic. His melee weapons of choice are either a staff or dual katana.

"He sounds like a tough dude," said Ratchet, looking at the Genji's headshot.

"A side note is here that is written by Sailor Saturn," Clank pointed out. "It says, 'He is very kind, shy, and reluctant to fight."'

"I take that back then," said Ratchet, frowning.

'"However,"' Clank continued to read, '"if aggravated to the extreme, he can have an explosive temper. Other than that, he is a sweetheart."

'"Explosive temper?'" repeated Ratchet with a hint of returning satisfaction. "That's makes him a little better."

Genji soon arrived. His entrance into the lobby of the outpost was accompanied by the appearance of two Elite (Sangheili) guards, whom in their solemnity, introduced the duo to the young sorcerer. Ratchet, who thought that the hero-in-training would have a muscular build, was rather disappointed in what he saw. Genji, a frequently used asset to the Justice League and his own school, was a thin and slender but, thankfully, now where close to supermodel. His handsome face was shining with a smile of nervous and cheery origins. Since Ratchet was not at all familiar with the societies of Planet Dark or any of the other worlds in Sailor Moon's dimension, seeing as he has yet to venture there, Ratchet found Genji's wardrobe curious. Genji wore a green kimono with a visible white t-shirt underneath along with black hakama pants and geta sandals. Genji's arms were folded across his chest, acting like armor; his hands nervously hid in his armpits. His shoulders were hunched slightingly under the anxiety's weight. Upon eye contact with his superiors, Ratchet and Clank, his posture straightened and his arms went to his sides. He bowed before them.

"I am honor to meet you, Mr. Ratchet and Mr. Clank," Genji said softly and respectfully with a bow. "I am Genji Kazemaru, apprentice level sorcerer at the Academy for Rising Heroes."

"Nice to meet you," said Clank.

"Follow me, Genji," said Ratchet with half-hearted motion to follow him. He saw Genji as seemingly weak, prompting Ratchet to feel dubious of Genji's usefulness. However, he suspected Genji to be far more helpful than Qwark.

Ratchet and Clank lead the young man to a staff lounge. Grayish Tables with uneven placements of chairs (in normal and huge sizes) worked oddly with the blue, metallic walls to look almost like someone tried to make it look nice. Vending machines selling ordinary and peculiar commodities stretched from a dim corner along a wall. That's what made up the staff lounge. It was not exactly the crazy cool space age marvel Genji expected. He did get parades of thrills by just seeing the awesome skyline of Metropolis, intensely tall skyscrapers everywhere. Ratchet and Clank sat themselves at a table that had three size appropriate chairs.

"You can sit down," Ratchet said to Genji.

"Thank you, sir," said Genji, seating himself.

There was an awkward period of silence when Ratchet and Clank stared at Genji. Genji, feeling increasingly nervous, showing it by the drops of sweat on his face, was trying to keep his smile from drooping.

"So, Genji," Ratchet said casually, "what brings you here? This isn't exactly an exciting mission."

"To be honest, sir," Genji explained softly, "my parents picked the mission for me, somewhat against my will, but I don't blame them."

"Why not?" asked Ratchet, taken aback by his continuing softness. "I would."

"You see, I am a bit of a germ freak, so they sent me here on a mission where I couldn't escape getting dirty. Of course, I will be supplied a full-body combat suit."

"I did see it get delivered," added Ratchet. "Man, if my parents… uh… Well, let's just say that I'd be pissed if I were in your sandals."

"I know that my parents did this because they care about my learning and growth. I thank them every day for helping me with my problems."

"That is very mature of you," Clank complimented.

"May I tell you something?" Genji asked in a hushed voice.

"Sure," acknowledged Ratchet.

"Mr. Ratchet, I think you," Genji blushed quickly, "are really cool."

Ratchet grinned. "Well, I do get myself into some tough situations and always get myself out."

Clank slapped the remark with a snide laugh.


Ratchet cringed. Captain Qwark had arrived. Genji gasped upon seeing the giant. Qwark stood twice as tall as Genji and had an upper body that was stunning. However, Genji found his wardrobe of spandex to be embarrassing. Qwark set his eye on Genji.

"Is this our new meat – I mean, recruit?" Qwark boomed joyously.

Genji caught the "meat." "What did you mean by meat, sir?"

Qwark either did not hear him or pretended not to. When he put his hand on Genji's shoulder, Genji shuttered, know that this man could hold by the torso with one hand.

"You must be in shock," Qwark said pompously. "To be in the presence of a hero as glorious as me must be awe-inspiring."

Genji almost wanted to ask the man what his name was because he did not know. It was creepy having this guy touch him as though Genji himself were a fan of his. It was really bothersome that he behave so arrogantly. Right away, Genji did not like him.

"When's the mission going to start?" Qwark asked.

"It starts as soon as Genji is suited up properly," answered Clank.

"I will get on it right away," said Genji. "But first, may I use the bathroom?"

"Certainly!" boomed Qwark. "I'll show you there myself." He lifted Genji off his seat with the hand still on the teen's shoulder. As Qwark walked him out, Genji looked helplessly back at Ratchet and Clank.

"I have bad feeling about this," said Ratchet in suspicion.

"Why?" asked Clank. "Captain Qwark is simply showing Genji to the bathroom."

"Qwark is up to something," said Ratchet. "Come on."

The men's restroom they entered had stalls that, like the chairs in the break room, varied from human size or smaller to whatever-Qwark's-species-was size. There were urinals too. Looking to one of the urinals, he saw Qwark appear in his peripheral vision.

"You can't use the urinals," said Qwark. "They're all out of order."

"Really?" said Genji. "Okay." He turned to the stalls.

"No, you can't use those."

Genji was irritated. "Why not?"

"Their all out of order too." He walked over to them. "It was enchilada night yesterday."

"Don't mostly robots work here?" Genji asked.

Qwark ignored him. "This one is the only one that works." He opened the door to a toilet fit for him. Not too much bigger than for Genji since Qwark's lower boy was narrower than his upper body.

Genji stared at Qwark sourly. "On second thought, I would rather hold it."

Qwark's face grew bitter. "Well then, I have to use force." He grabbed Genji and lifted him off of his feet and walked him into the stall.

Genji struggled at first. Kicking and screaming, "Unhand me, you douche!" Qwark answered by flipping Genji upside down to disorient him. Genji's head dangled over the toilet bowl. Genji scratched at Qwark's wrists. A spell could be used, but Genji was too freaked to think of such a thing.

"This won't hurt," Qwark said comfortingly, "but when you get to the sewers, you might get eaten by the Amoeboids. Your sacrifice will be honored."

Qwark dropped him. Genji's head went into the water. Only his legs and most of his torso stuck up over the rim of the bowl. Without a thought of how Genji felt about this, Qwark flushed Genji down the toilet. A pair of legs in bagging, black pants began twisting and twisting, sinking and sinking below the rim of the toilet bowl. Bare feet in wooden sandals twitched and flexed the toes, twisting and twisting, sucked down the toilet. Quickly, the sandaled feet disappeared into the toilet.

Qwark felt satisfied. Upon exiting the stall, he found Ratchet outside the stall, teeth clutching together, one eyelid twitching. Clank stood alongside Ratchet with his "eyelids" showing him as horrified. Ratchet, not saying anything, continued his death stare at Qwark as he walked into the stall. Ratchet looked into the toilet bowl and saw only two geta sandals floating in the water. He fished them out and stared woefully at them.

"QWARK!" Ratchet roared. "What the hell did you just do?"

"I just completed the first part of my plan to get rid of the Amoeboids," said Qwark confidently.

"You flushed Genji down the toilet!"

"Look at me ingenious plan," said Qwark obliviously. He held up a sketch pad. The page Qwark showed Ratchet featured Genji's feet disappearing into the toilet in crayon. "To get the Amoeboids distracted, we send them fresh meat to distract them. As little Ginger – "

"His name is Genji!" Ratchet snapped.

"Right! What did I say? Anyway, as little Genji tries not to get eaten, you swoop in and kill the Amoeboids." The next pictured had Ratchet with a terrified look surrounded by green blubs.

"What are you going to be doing?" Ratchet asked, seething.

"I came up with the plan. You can't expect me to do everything."

Ratchet threw one of Genji's sandals and nailed Qwark in the forehead.

"Genji isn't from our dimension. He doesn't know that getting flushed down the toilet is a mundane accident with signs in the sewers leading from pipe drainages to manholes."

"You terrified him for no reason," Clank added with a wag of his finger.

"Come on, Clank," said Ratchet, he dropped the other sandal on the ground. Clank hopped onto Ratchet's back and settled into the harness. Ratchet ran into the stall and jumped into the toilet.

"Good idea, Ratchet!" said Qwark happily. "That cuts a travel time."

Ratchet beamed his death stare as his hand reached over and pulled hand. Ratchet twisted and twisted and was sucked down the toilet. A venture down a toilet pipe was a like a horrifically filthy and disgusting water slide ride. Ratchet was soon vomited out of a pipe and landed in a pile of sludge. He got up right away and called Genji's name. Clank dismounted and chimed in. They found Genji barefoot and on his knees on a slightly elevated metal platform. The duo rushed over to him. Not a single motion or twitch occurred. Even his chest seemed flat like a frozen lake. His body was a cold, stone statue; his face was frozen in wide-eyed chiseling of trauma.

"Genji?" Ratchet said, nudging Genji's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Genji's head slowly nodded. A soft "uh-ha" escaped his lips.

"This is not a place of a germ freak," said Ratchet, propping Genji to his feet. "Don't worry, Genji. Qwark will pay for this."

"It will not take long to get back to the surface," said Clank. "There are arrows pointing to exits."

Before they took two steps, Amoeboids popped out of the sludge, one right after the other. The green blobs with eyes and mouths and hands formed a horde.

Ratchet brought out his big wrench. "Don't worry, Genji, I'll clear the way."

Genji raised his hand. "Allow me," he said smoothly. Genji thrust his right hand out toward the Amoeboids. A bolt of electricity shot from his palm and incinerated a large group of them. Genji dashed forth into the horde. Lightning surged in his hands and fired out with the fury of an angry god. He even shot lightning from his feet. The Amoeboids exploded in splashes of green ooze that painted the walls and Genji, but Genji ignored it and let their fluids be his war paint. A pure rage was pumping through his veins and nervous system. His face twisted into a darkened mask: wrathful in the eyes and blazing and terrifying still. Ratchet and Clank just watched in astonishment as Genji zapped all the Amoeboids. Sparks were jumping off of his whole body. When all the Amoeboids were destroyed, the seething electricity sizzled down. Genji stood in place, breathing heavily.

"Holy c***! That was cool!" shouted Ratchet, awestricken. "Awesome job, Genji!"

Genji turned around and smiled bashfully. "Why, thank you."

"Wow," said Ratchet. "We have got to work together again, dude. You are so… electric."

"You are too kind, sir," said Genji with a bow.

"You can stop with the 'sir' stuff," said Ratchet friendly. "Just call me Ratchet."

"All righty then, Ratchet," Genji said kindly.

"Let's get out of here," said Ratchet. "I need to punch Qwark."

"May I join it too?" Genji asked with a sly smile.

"I'd be surprised if you didn't," laughed Ratchet.