Author's Note-Okay, so I totally fell in love with the Korean drama You're Beautiful. The OST is BEAUTIFUL and I love everything about it. xD I was soo tempted to write a fanfic to it. So Idid. I'm supposed to be cowriting this with my friend, but she hasn't even finished the drama yet x] And so I'm just posting up what I have. I also made a trailer of this fanfic on my YT. The trailer sucks, but eh....xD I didn't have a lot of clips to work with of my OC. And yeah, the chapters are pretty long. They might get shorter (cause I get lazier) but yeah, just bear with me x] I loved it so much, I wrote seven to six pages per chapter. Hahaha. 33
"Yes, yes, I know!" I laughed, my purple Samsung Corby at my ear.
"Aimee this is no time to laugh! This is your own debut party! I can't believe you're late," Manager Kim scolded me.
"Yes, I know. I'm on my way," I smile despite being lectured. I pull my silver Mercedes Guardian to a stop at a red light. I quickly check my make-up quickly in my rear-view mirror, not being able to resist giving myself a quick wink.
"Aimee, just get over here," Manager Kim sighed at her carelessness.
"Alrighty, Manager Kim. Bye," I gave a quick kiss-kiss and hung up.
The light turned green. I stepped on the gas pedal, pulling my car up a bit further. I had barely made it halfway across the crossing when I heard a sudden honking noise. I looked to my left and saw nothing but a pair of bright white headlights coming at me.
Hwang TaeKyung burst through the doors of the hospital. He took long quick strides towards the emergency room doors. His band mates, Kang ShinWoo and Kang OnYu, better known as Jeremy, were right behind him. They'd been called from TaeKyung's best friend Jung Aimee's debut party and TaeKyung had rushed out as soon as the hospital had told him Aimee had been hospitalized.
TaeKyung headed for the E.R. doors, ready to slam himself in. His band mates caught up to him and held him back.
"Hyung, you can't go in!" Jeremy said.
"Calm yourself down first, TaeKyung," ShinWoo insisted.
TaeKyung pushed his band mates off of him, but stepped away from the E.R. doors. How could he calm down? His best friend could be dying. No one knew if she was okay. So how could he calm down? He stormed over to the reception desk, determined to find some answers.
"I need to know if one of the patients that were just brought in is okay," he told the nurse.
"Ah, yes. Patient's name?" the nurse simply asked, blowing up her bubblegum into a bubble. TaeKyung resisted the urge to reach over and smack the gum onto her face.
"Jung Aimee," he replied.
"I'm sorry, there's nothing yet. Did she just come in?" the nurse asked, tapping her orange-polished nails against her mouse.
"Yes," TaeKyung said through gritted teeth.
"Then I'm afraid you'll just have to wait for the doctor to come out and update you," the nurse said, shrugging. She flashed TaeKyung a smile, but he averted her gaze.
"Hyung, calm down," Jeremy said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We're all worried about Aimee."
"Yeah," TaeKyung muttered, though he knew no one worried as much as he did.
The doctor stepped out after what seemed like an eternity, but was really only an hour. TaeKyung bolted to his feet as soon as the doors opened. Jeremy and ShinWoo stood.
"How is she?" TaeKyung asked. The doctor sighed, pulling his glasses off and removing his mask.
"She's in very critical condition. Her spinal chord has many small but still serious fractures. She can't breathe. She can't move. She may never walk again. But she'll live," the doctor spoke slowly and cautiously.
"She'll live? That's it?" TaeKyung's anger flared. "Dancing is her life. Singing is her life. She can't breathe? She can't walk? What is she going to do? Just live? What kind of life is a life that can't be lived the way it should be!"
"TaeKyung," ShinWoo placed a firm hand on his shoulder. TaeKyung gritted his teeth so hard it hurt. He was going to scream. His eyes burned with tears, but he didn't cry.
"I'm very sorry, but there isn't much we can do. We've repaired her spinal column to our best ability, but it'll take a lot of therapy and surgery before she fully heals," the doctor gave them all a reassuring smile, but it did nothing for them.
As the doctor walked away, TaeKyung kicked the benches in the waiting room. He cursed over and over again, smashing the walls. Jeremy and ShinWoo simply watched as their leader kicked and screamed and cried for his best friend.
TaeKyung helped me stand from my wheelchair. I pushed on the armrests with my hands. The therapist and TaeKyung helped me to stand upright. Once I had balanced myself out, they both let go. I managed to stand on my own a moment, but as a shock of pain burst through my chest and legs, I collapsed. TaeKyung caught me before I hit he ground.
"Slowly now," he said, helping me back into my wheelchair.
"Get me out of here," I muttered, angry at my failed attempt to stand.
TaeKyung met my glare with his own stubborn eyes, but I didn't care. I didn't want to be here. Not now. Not ever. TaeKyung reached over to me, trying to get me to stand again, but I grabbed his jacket sleeve and tugged on it hard to show I wanted to go home.
"Aimee, stop it," he scolded. "You're acting like a spoiled child."
"I don't care," I shot back. "Don't you see? I can't do it. It's hopeless."
"Nothing's hopeless," TaeKyung said, meeting my stubbornness with his own. "You just have to be strong, Aimee."
"It's okay," my therapist says softly. "Take her home."
TaeKyung gritted his teeth in frustration. It was a habit he had, I knew. He did it every time he was deep in thought or angry. And right now, he was angry at me for giving up so easily on my physical therapy.
"What's wrong with you today, Aimee?" TaeKyung asked as he drove me back to the dorms. I laid my head on the window, ignoring him. He glanced at me a couple times, but said nothing. As we came up to a red light, he sighed and I peeked at him from the corner of my eye.
"You have to be strong, Aimee. You'll walk again, I know you will. You just have to be strong," TaeKyung reassured me. This time, it was my turn to grit my teeth.
"I'm tired of being strong. No matter how strong I am, I still can't walk. It's hopeless. Useless," she mumbled.
"Don't say things like that," TaeKyung snapped.
"You don't know what it's like!" I snapped back at him. Tears burned at the back of my eyes, but I didn't cry. I never cried.
"I would if you just talked to me! You're not the only one who suffers from the accident!" TaeKyung shouted. I clamped my mouth shut. TaeKyung glanced at me, realizing I wasn't talking anymore. I did this every time I got too upset. I simply stopped talking. TaeKyung let out an exasperated sigh, but didn't urge me to talk anymore, knowing it was useless.
We didn't talk the rest of the drive to the dorm. When we got there, I sat silently as TaeKyung got out and readied my wheelchair for me. I hated the feeling of needing someone else to help me get around. It was the only reason I was living with them. I couldn't do things for myself. It was a huge blow to my pride, but I had to deal with it. I had no other choice.
TaeKyung wheeled me to the back and up the ramp onto the back porch. I wheeled myself to Angelina Jolie, Jeremy's dog.
"Hey, Jolie," I smiled, kissing the golden blonde strands of fur on her forehead. She licked my cheek happily. I looked around and saw Jeremy had already filled her bowl with food and water. I smiled to myself. Jeremy really did love this dog.
"Noona!" Jeremy ran out just as I had the thought. He ran to hug me, but TaeKyung stopped him. I couldn't help but smirk. Jeremy had grown up in England, where it was custom and normal to hug and kiss others as a greeting, but in Korea, his hyungs were always stopping him.
"Noona, how was the therapy?" Jeremy asked once TaeKyung had pulled him away from hugging me. I simply shook my head in response to Jeremy's question. Jeremy blinked at me a moment, before turning to TaeKyung.
"You guys had a fight?" he asked. TaeKyung simply shrugged, gritting his teeth.
"Come on in, everyone," ShinWoo suddenly said from the door. "It's a bit cold."
I wheeled myself towards the door a bit before Jeremy took the handles and pushed me the rest of the way. Taekyung followed behind us, a sour expression on his face. I glanced back at him, but he averted my gaze and I felt slightly bad for out fight.
Jeremy wheeled me to my room, which was on the first floor, since I couldn't exactly go up the stairs in my condition. He picked me up from my wheelchair and set me on my bed beside my desk.
I give him a thankful smile before turning and picking up my sketchbook and flipping the page to my newest sketch. I showed it to him. He grinned.
"That's me?" he asked, pointing to himself. I nodded, smiling. I had taken the time to draw a quick sketch of Jeremy smiling his cute, innocent grin. It wasn't yet finished, but it was completed enough for me to show him and not be embarrassed.
"You draw beautifully," Jeremy complimented, looking over the sketch. He smiled at me, and I laughed, seeing it was almost identical to my sketch. He noticed as well, and chuckled. Then, he flipped through the earlier sketches I'd drawn. Most were of the three boys of A.N. Jell, but a couple had been futile attempts at a self-portrait.
"You draw so many of ShinWoo hyung," Jeremy noted. I reddened slightly, but kept my cool as Jeremy looked up at me. I stuck my tongue out at him, taking my sketchbook back from him. He sticks his tongue out at me as well and we both laugh.
Suddenly, a knock sounds from the door. Jeremy and I turn and see ShinWoo poke his head in. I stick my sketchbook under my pillow behind me. Jeremy notices and opens his mouth to ask me about it, but I put a finger up to my lips to shush him.
"I made some tea," ShinWoo says, smiling at us.
"That's great, hyung," Jeremy smiles. "But I'm going to get me some juice."
"Okay," ShinWoo shrugs, placing the tray of tea on my desk. He offers me a cup as Jeremy gets up to get himself a cup of juice. I nod a quick 'thank-you' to ShinWoo.
"Not talking again? Did therapy really go so badly?" ShinWoo asks me. I shrug. He gives a light chuckle. I stare at him, taking in the way he laughed. It was a sound I liked. He notices me staring, and I avert my gaze quickly. He smiles softly, patting me on the head. I frown, feeling like a child, but ShinWoo simply smiles again, taking a sip of his tea. I sip at mine too. It tasted like ginseng.
"TaeKyung is moping in his room," ShinWoo suddenly said. I frowned, knowing it was my fault. ShinWoo turned and looked at me.
"I think he's upset because you are. Maybe you should go talk to him?" Shinwoo suggested. I pondered a moment. Then, I nodded.
"Yeah, I will," I said. ShinWoo broke out into a charming smile, and I melted.
"I'll go get him," ShinWoo said. I nodded, smiling back at him.
I sat up slowly in bed. Glancing at the neon-colored numbers of the clock on my bedside table, I saw it was two in the morning. My throat was parched. I threw off the blankets, deciding to go to the kitchen and get a glass of water. But as I looked at my legs, I saw nothing. My legs were nonexistent. I screamed at the top of my lungs.
I bolted upright in my sleep, gasping. Hot tears burned in my eyes, but I blinked them back. I lifted the blankets cautiously and almost screamed again as I saw my legs were there. I wanted to cry right there at that moment, but I bit my lip, holding back. I wasn't going to cry. There was no reason to cry.
But I was parched. That hadn't been a dream. I was unbearably thirsty. I attempted to get to my wheelchair, but as I moved towards it, I accidentally knocked it away. It scooted further away from my bed and I rolled off the bed, hitting the ground with a loud thud. I cursed myself quietly, wondering if I'd woken anyone. I couldn't move. I attempted to pull myself towards my wheelchair, but it was too far away. I sat on the ground, my arms outstretched toward the wheelchair. I bit my angry sobs of failure back, trying harder and harder to reach my only way of moving, but it was hopeless. I punched the hardwood floor with my fist in frustration, but that only hurt me more. I pulled back, biting in a scream. I touched my knuckles. They were bruised. I cursed myself again. I was completely hopeless and helpless. The hollowness I usually felt in my chest grew deeper.
Just then, the lights in my room flicked on. I blinked a few moments, the light blinding me. As my eyes adjusted, I saw a figure standing in my doorway. I knew it was one of the guys, but it was hard to see. I blinked a few more times and saw it was ShinWoo.
He walked over to me, smiling a soft, compassionate smile. He pulled my wheelchair back towards my bed where it was supposed to be and then he put his arm around me and lifted me back up onto the bed.
"You're so helpless," he said softly as he put me down and sat beside me on the bed. I looked away from him, not being able to help feeling embarrassed that he'd seen me in such a helpless state. But he simply smiled and turned my head to look back at him.
"Don't be embarrassed, Aimee," he said. I stared at him. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about, alright?"
I looked away again, feeling the urge to pull up my knees to my face and hide, but I knew I couldn't even do that.
"I curse the day I lost my legs," I mumble. "I hate the world for what it did to me. I hate everything. I hate everyone. No one understands what it's like to be me."
"No one?" ShinWoo asks, making an uncertain face. I look at him.
"Well, maybe, if you talk about it," he purses his lips together a moment before smiling. "Maybe I'll know. And I might even understand."
"How could you?" I scoff. "At least you can walk."
"You could too, if you really wanted to," he said. I shoot him a mild glare, but he simply smirks. He takes my hand and stands, pulling me toward the edge of the bed.
"What are you doing?" I pull back slightly.
"You're going to walk," he replies, still smirking. I shake my head, but ShinWoo simply nods, giving me a reassuring smile. And I can't help it. I finally sigh, and agree. He walks over to me, putting his hands on my waist and supporting me as I try to stand. He turns me around to face him and I stumble slightly. He catches me and our eyes lock a moment before he pushes me back up into a standing position. Then, he steps away from me, slowly letting go of my waist. I reach for him, afraid of falling, but he smiles.
"Try it on your own a moment," he says, taking my hand a moment, before letting go again. I glare at him, but manage to keep my balance. I take a deep breath. ShinWoo watches me.
"Take a step," he says.
"Yes, you can," he insists.
I sighed. Then, I take a deep breath. Closing my eyes, I urge my legs to take a step. I manage to lift my leg just a little. I urge mind to move my legs, and they do. Just a little. But I didn't lift my foot high enough, and I stumbled as my toes scraped the floor. I trip and fall forward into ShinWoo. He catches me, his arms embracing me. I look up at him, my face red. But he only smiles, lifting me back up and setting me down in the bed.
"Congratulations, Aimee. You've taken your first step," he says. I stare at him a long moment. He stares back at me. My eyes wander to his lips, as his face is so close to mine. But I resist the urge to kiss him and look away. He smiles, patting me on the head.
"Is there anything you need?" he asks.
"I'm thirsty," I mutter, remembering that I'd woken up to get a drink. He nods and leaves a moment to bring me a glass and a pitcher of water. He sets them beside me on my desk.
"So you don't have to get up if you're thirsty," he says, motioning to the pitcher. He pours me a glass and watches as I drink it slowly.
"Kamsamnida, ShinWoo oppa," I say softly. He looks at me a moment, noticing I'd called him oppa. But he doesn't seem to mind. Instead, he smiles. Then, his eyes trail to my bare legs on top of the blankets. His smile fades a moment.
"Does it hurt sometimes?" he asks. I shift uncomfortably under his stare.
"Sometimes," I mutter. He looks at me, smiles again.
"Don't feel stupid when you're in a tight spot, Aimee. We all understand," he pats my hair again. I duck my head away from his hand.
"I don't feel stupid," I say. "Not necessarily."
He tilts his head slightly as I say this. "How do you feel then?"
I bite my lip, wondering if I should say it, and how it'd sound if I said it.
"I feel hollow, as if I'm nothing. I feel helpless, like you said just a moment ago," I mumble, looking away from him.
"I understand," he says and I look at him. I'd expected him to contradict me, saying I wasn't nothing. That would have made him just like the others. But he didn't say it. Instead, he said he understood. A new feeling erupted in my hollow heart. I stared at ShinWoo for what seems like hours until, finally, he smiles and walks out, turning off my lights.
I lay back down in my bed, pulling the sheets back over my immobile legs. But I don't sleep. No, I couldn't fall asleep for a long time. Instead, I stay awake, wondering about ShinWoo. I wasn't as strong as Jeremy and TaeKyung always made me out to be. ShinWoo was the only one who understood the hollowness and helplessness I felt.